Question

[casper314]

This is not a battle of the sexiest; nor is it battering alternative life styles. It’s a simple question that been rolling around in my big empty head.

Can a alternative life style person be friends with a straight person of the same sex without thinking about having sex with them?

if so, which gender is better at doing it?

 

[Bugman]

Can a alternative life style person be friends with a straight person of the same sex without thinking about having sex with them?

if so, which gender is better at doing it?

I don't see why not.

I don't think we can say one gender or the other would be *better* at it.Depends on the individual don't you think?

 

[Perduabo]

I am gay and my best friend of 9 years is a straight male. Never once have I had intimate thoughts about him so its very possible.

Honestly more of my friends are straight than gay, or of "alternative lifestyles" 🙂

 

[casper314]

I am gay and my best friend of 9 years is a straight male. Never once have I had intimate thoughts about him so its very possible.

Honestly more of my friends are straight than gay, or of "alternative lifestyles" 🙂

thx you and bug for replying.

I had to make it uni-sex don't want to be jumped on for labeling. LOL

i have always heard that a male can not be friends with a woman because of the sex thing.

yet, cause the same augment be said about a lesbian or bi

 

[Bugman]

yet, cause the same augment be said about a lesbian or bi

I've had female friends that are lesbian or bi.As far as i know they just thought of me as a friend.Is this what you mean?

As far as a man-woman can't just be friends,again my experience would indicate the opposite.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

I've been friends with gay, bi, straight, guys, gals, kinky, vanilla, etc. Unless there's other reason for being attracted to them or them to me, I've never seen an issue. Some of my best friends are guys and there's no sexual tension there. I married the one I'm interested in. 😉

 

[Musicroxmysox]

Totally, some of my closest friends have been gay or bi, and I am straight as an arrow.

 

[casper314]

yet, have anyone ever asked their gay friends have they thought about you in a sexual way?


I have male / female gay friends; my brother was gay (r.i.p) blah.blah. blah. however.

My male gay friends admitted that they thought of about being in a sexual encounter with me. Which didn't bother me.

I also had female gay friends that thought about having sexual encounters with my wife. can't tell you how she felt about that.

i work with male groups. Within the last 15+ years; we have been bombarded with negative images of what a male is suppose to be.

We have been told that we can not maintain a relationship with a woman with out bring in sex. Most of the guys i work with is starting to believe the stereotype that males are only good for one thing.

and if she has good enough batteries they can be replaced for that.

my purpose for asking is; why is male also receiving a bad rap about relationship? there are more committed males willing to have a committed relationship, than being reported.

Why are we always the bad person in the relationship?

it takes two the make a relationship and it takes two to f it up.

 

[Perduabo]

yet, have anyone ever asked their gay friends have they thought about you in a sexual way?


I have male / female gay friends; my brother was gay (r.i.p) blah.blah. blah. however.

My male gay friends admitted that they thought of about being in a sexual encounter with me. Which didn't bother me.

I also had female gay friends that thought about having sexual encounters with my wife. can't tell you how she felt about that.

i work with male groups. Within the last 15+ years; we have been bombarded with negative images of what a male is suppose to be.

We have been told that we can not maintain a relationship with a woman with out bring in sex. Most of the guys i work with is starting to believe the stereotype that males are only good for one thing.

and if she has good enough batteries they can be replaced for that.

my purpose for asking is; why is male also receiving a bad rap about relationship? there are more committed males willing to have a committed relationship, than being reported.

Why are we always the bad person in the relationship?

it takes two the make a relationship and it takes two to f it up.

Allow me to break your questions down 🙂

Have any of my gay friends ever had sexual thoughts about me? That's a toughie. I have had one of my gay friends pull me aside one day and tell me that they thought my current significant other was lucky to have found someone as "intuitive and kindhearted" as I (I don't happen to believe I am either, just repeating what was said lol.) and that at times he wished he was in my boyfriend's place.

Was that a sexual statement? I don't think it was, but its the closest encounter I have had with a friend on the subject.

As for the stereotype that males cannot maintain relationships as well as females, or that gay man are more promiscuous/apt to fool around than straight couples I find false as well.

I used to volunteer in a group for gay and lesbian couples and I would see men that had been in relationships for more than twenty years, women ho had been with their high-school sweethearts since meeting them. I myself have been with my boyfriend almost six years, longer than a lot of my straight friends' relationships...compared to the ungodly high divorce rates in America, I believe that's saying something.

Obviously I can't speak for everyone, but relating the experiences I ave encountered, I see no substance to those assumptions/stereotypes. I'm sure they're out there, I have no doubts about that, but I think its getting harder and harder to spot.

 

[Bugman]

yet, have anyone ever asked their gay friends have they thought about you in a sexual way?


I have male / female gay friends; my brother was gay (r.i.p) blah.blah. blah. however.

My male gay friends admitted that they thought of about being in a sexual encounter with me. Which didn't bother me.

I also had female gay friends that thought about having sexual encounters with my wife. can't tell you how she felt about that.

i work with male groups. Within the last 15+ years; we have been bombarded with negative images of what a male is suppose to be.

We have been told that we can not maintain a relationship with a woman with out bring in sex. Most of the guys i work with is starting to believe the stereotype that males are only good for one thing.

and if she has good enough batteries they can be replaced for that.

my purpose for asking is; why is male also receiving a bad rap about relationship? there are more committed males willing to have a committed relationship, than being reported.

Why are we always the bad person in the relationship?

it takes two the make a relationship and it takes two to f it up. :slap fight:

I think the problem might be that you want to define everyone according to gender and or sexual orientation rather then looking at them as individuals.

there are more committed males willing to have a committed relationship, than being reported.

Reported where?

How do you define a relationship?Are you talking about a friend or a lover?I'm getting confused i guess.

 

[sasaxrah]

Can a alternative life style person be friends with a straight person of the same sex without thinking about having sex with them?

So I identify as bisexual, yet I do not consider myself to have an "alternative lifestyle." I am actually pretty lame - I go to work, hang out with friends, spend time with my boyfriend. My lifestyle is no more alternative than most other people. 😀 In fact, I think tickling actually makes my lifestyle more alternative than my sexual orientation.

I agree with posters who say it depends on the person. Is a straight person able to have a friendship with a person of the opposite sex without thinking about sex? Some yes, some no. As for me, I am attracted to people of both genders. I am friends with people of both genders. I don't want to get in the pants of all of my friends.

I don't know about genders. I also think it depends on the person. I've never been inside a guy's head to see what he's thinking. 🙂

 

[ticklkitten]

why try to define a sexual preference as anything when it is so obvious that we are all individual?

 

[kis123]

As far as a man-woman can't just be friends,again my experience would indicate the opposite.

I"ve been hearing this same foolishness over the last few years. IMO, it's a myth perpetuated by those who can't manage to get their heads out the gutter or their horn-dog thoughts under control.

Most of the friends I have are men; we can talk about a myriad of topics that most of my female friends have little to no interest in like sports or etc. I don't mind hanging with the girls and talking about things that are pertinent to us (at my age, surviving the out of control hormones and preparing for middle age). I can't have that discussion with a man or a 20-something woman-I can only do that with my 40 and 50 something sisters in common.

Ok.....on to the OP:

I have gay friends as well as coworkers I've been alongside eight hours a day. One in particular was a little flirty and had a habit of stepping in my personal space. Kis-101 is do NOT step in my personal space; I'm big enough to take up enough of it myself! Eventually we ended up friends because it was just who she was and not some sort of backhanded advance. Little people have a way of stepping into small spaces and that was just her way. It taught me to be more observant before I made a judgement.

There was an openly gay basketball player (open after retirement of course) whos name I don't remember. He made an interesting statement (paraphrase) "just because I'm gay and attracted to men doesn't mean I'm attracted to you." It worked for me!

 

[MasterPaladin]

ok lets go a tad further this may answer your question lets go straight straight or gay gay whatever. I am straight and have straight lady friends I never thought of sexually. and I know gays that hang out as friends. If someone is your friend thats it your friends just to joke a bit.... I wouldn't know if this holds true to a bi nymph. LMAO

 

[-Hari-]

honestly?

for me, it depends which friend.

I have many female friends, some of them I find attractive, some I do not.

I would be very dishonest to attempt to state that the thought never crossed my mind with some of them, not something I would actually DO, but we dont have as much control over our minds as we do our bodies.

I think everybody is likely to work off the rule that if they find someone attractive then they will probably have a sexual thought about them at some point, be it on purpose or by accident. Nothing wrong with that at all, its human nature, your own personal morals of what you will and will not do are what difines you, not what goes thru your head.

I dont think its gender or sexual orientation specific either, doesnt matter if your male, female, gay, straight or otherwise, if you find someone attractive then whatever part of your brain that controls your sex drive is likely to put a random thought in your head at some point.

 

[casper314]

I think the problem might be that you want to define everyone according to gender and or sexual orientation rather then looking at them as individuals.

there are more committed males willing to have a committed relationship, than being reported.

Reported where?

How do you define a relationship?Are you talking about a friend or a lover?I'm getting confused i guess.

Bug, you can't be so wrong.

Being a minority myself; i don't like it when people try to place me in a box. Like you just did.

I as a simple question concerning the differences on how male are tried verse female.

If we walk around proudly claiming to be so justice. How can we allow one gender to be treated differently than another. Or, race, sexual preferences, believes or anything else.

To have true equality, for all we must stop giving special treatment to people because of their race, gender, religion, sexual preference, or political belief.

It's strange to me, I can talk to my gay friends about this subject and not accuse of gay bashing.

I bring this subject up for debate among a mixer of people. The one that claim to be gay is willing to try and give me an understanding. The straight one is calling me gender bias.

hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

BTW. reported by TV show, radio states, magazines, commercials, the list goes on. To prop up one gender; they are destroying another just to make money or some other special interest.

However, you can think what you wish of me. That what makes this country what it is. I will not think ill of you.

 

[casper314]

Allow me to break your questions down 🙂

Have any of my gay friends ever had sexual thoughts about me? That's a toughie. I have had one of my gay friends pull me aside one day and tell me that they thought my current significant other was lucky to have found someone as "intuitive and kindhearted" as I (I don't happen to believe I am either, just repeating what was said lol.) and that at times he wished he was in my boyfriend's place.

Was that a sexual statement? I don't think it was, but its the closest encounter I have had with a friend on the subject.

As for the stereotype that males cannot maintain relationships as well as females, or that gay man are more promiscuous/apt to fool around than straight couples I find false as well.

I used to volunteer in a group for gay and lesbian couples and I would see men that had been in relationships for more than twenty years, women ho had been with their high-school sweethearts sinceeeting them. I myself have been with my boyfriend almost six years, longer than a lot of my straight friends' relationships...compared to the ungodly high divorce rates in America, I believe that's saying something.

Obviously I can't speak for everyone, but relating the experiences I ave encountered, I see no substance to those assumptions/stereotypes. I'm sure they're out there, I have no doubts about that, but I think its getting harder and harder to spot.

Perduabo I agree with you;

you can always find more people doing the right thing. However, it always the few that gets all the press. (if it bleeds, it leads) I wonder how it would be if they would just report of the positive expects?

 

[DimpleToes]

I don't see why not.

I don't think we can say one gender or the other would be *better* at it.Depends on the individual don't you think?

I agree

I've been friends with gay, bi, straight, guys, gals, kinky, vanilla, etc. Unless there's other reason for being attracted to them or them to me, I've never seen an issue. Some of my best friends are guys and there's no sexual tension there. I married the one I'm interested in. 😉

I agree.. I have freinds of both sexes who are staright and bisexual and all the above.. I dont care what they do sexually as long as they dont hit on me..