Questions for parents

[General Zod]

After reading Venray's post about mean moms and dads,great post btw,I got to thinking about raising children and double standards The stuff I am posting isn't meant to flame anybody
For the record I am single and have never had any children
Why is it that some parents will lie,cheat,use tobbacco and swear around their children,but when the children do the same stuff they get punished? I have never understood that Is it really that hard for parents to try to set a good example?
I have a sister that has two daughters She constantly swears and lies around them But she will punish them for doing the same things How the hell she can live with herself is beyond me There are times when I just want to beat the living crap out of her
But then again she gets that habit from our mother I couldn't even say the word lie when I was a child without getting smacked upside the head Can somebody please answer why that is? Parents like these will wonder why their children will have nothing to do with them when they grow up

 

[qjakal]

Asked and answered

I think you already have the answer Sir Zod. These parents do indeed reap what they sow, and their punishment is having to live with themselves.

I was in a warehouse club the other day picking up supplies and there was a woman on the cellphone cursing like a longshoreman with a 5-ish year old daughter hanging on her cart, and I simply stopped and stared in disbelief at the language she was using around that little girl. How could that child NOT think these were words she could use?

We're careful around our daughter, but she WILL be exposed to things eventually, and all you can do is set the best conscious example you can without getting too priggish and holier than thou.

Try and keep trying and cross your fingers that the child will be able to distinguish between acceptable social behavior and the nonsense that floats around constantly on TV/radio/life...

Q

 

[TicklishSinner]

not saying i agree with it, but...

whats that saying..."Do as I say not as I do" maybe some parents live by that motto, myself not haveing any kids yet, but with one on the way, I have already started changing some of my ways, so it wont be a problem telling my kid no to something I am doing

 

[The Sean Man]

Stupid people shouldn't breed.

The Sean Man

 

[JoBelle]

Hmmm, another answer that seems a bit obvious to me is...

Some things (foul words, smoking, staying out late, driving too fast, stirring fights, telling lies, drinking booze, etc.) are things adults can choose to do as they know the consequences of their behaviors. Whether they make good choices or bad, they are still adult choices. Children have to be told the rules and expected to follow them. Why? Because one day they will make informed decisions as to whether or not the price for their behaviors is worth paying. In the meantime, they need to KNOW it's wrong. They need to be driven to do the right thing. C'mon now, do you want a real-life "little Johnny?" 😉

I believe the average kid can tell when mom or dad is screwing up with some less than angelic behavior. They know it's not acceptable in school, church, karate class or what have you. Seeing parents do it won't hurt them. (I'm not talking about parents shooting up or smoking crack in front of their kids mind you!) The average parent living the "double standard" also shows their children that they aren't perfect. Something that goes a long ways in life.

Personally, when I "slip up" around my kid, I say, "Sorry, that's grown up stuff."

I am a parent, not a saint!

Jo

 

[JPie1]

Hail Hail Jobelle, although I have tried to be alot more aware about what I do or say in front of my kids we parents do slip up from time to time. If I smoke I will never smoke in front of my kids, I try to tame my mouth and am pretty good most of the time, as far as other things, lie, cheat, steal, manners etc...I try to set an example for my kids, they learn what they see..the world is not perfect and they can't think you are too but you need to set an example.

 

[giantfan121262]

I am far from perfect and I am a smoker. When I smoke, I go outside and usually do it after the kids are asleep. As far as any behavior goes. Monkey see monkey do. If you don't want them doing what you do, don't do it youeself. I know I am not perfect but you have to make a conscious effort to think about what you are doing.

 

[JoBelle]

I try to set an example for my kids, they learn what they see..the world is not perfect and they can't think you are too but you need to set an example.

You said in that one sentence what I tried to say in ten! LOL

Jo

 

[TKpervert]

Very well stated Jobi. Your statement

"(I'm not talking about parents shooting up or smoking crack in front of their kids mind you!) The average parent living the "double standard" also shows their children that they aren't perfect. Something that goes a long ways in life."

was right on the mark.

Also, the kind of kids your child hangs out with (with or without your knowledge) from age 8 to 16 or so has a major impact on how your child will turn out. I give input from childhood peers equal weight to parental input.

And this from a guy that never raised a kid, but I've watched others raise kids.

 

[tommytikl]

I am far from perfect and I am a smoker. When I smoke, I go outside and usually do it after the kids are asleep. As far as any behavior goes. Monkey see monkey do. If you don't want them doing what you do, don't do it youeself. I know I am not perfect but you have to make a conscious effort to think about what you are doing.

Exactly!!!!

 

[General Zod]

Stupid people shouldn't breed.

The Sean Man

I'll drink to that 😀

 

[The Sean Man]

First round is on me, good General.

The Sean Man

 

[JPie1]

.

Also, the kind of kids your child hangs out with (with or without your knowledge) from age 8 to 16 or so has a major impact on how your child will turn out. I give input from childhood peers equal weight to parental input.

And this from a guy that never raised a kid, but I've watched others raise kids.

yes peers will influence, but what you hope is that you guide them in the right way in the younger years that they will be able to make the right decision standing on their own 2 feet. Right now when my kids are little you need to try and stay very involved and show them that you are very interested in what they do, make them feel like they can tell you anything, never be afraid to make a mistake but own up to it. Guide them towards good activities, towards being happy with an education and be proud of who they are...this in life will help them make good decision...

 

[giantfan121262]

yes peers will influence, but what you hope is that you guide them in the right way in the younger years that they will be able to make the right decision standing on their own 2 feet. Right now when my kids are little you need to try and stay very involved and show them that you are very interested in what they do, make them feel like they can tell you anything, never be afraid to make a mistake but own up to it. Guide them towards good activities, towards being happy with an education and be proud of who they are...this in life will help them make good decision...

Couldn't have said it any better myself. the earlier you set the foundation, the more solid it will be when they get older.