Questions to women

[tickleteasing]

Ok this is not from me but from a relationship course I brought a few years ago, it was called "Light her fire". So don't think this is me saying that I think this but I am saying I have heard this. Ok I have heard that the number one problem that faces women is low self-esteem, and that there was not even a close second in the polls of what women face. Now what I want to know is do you all agree with this, I am not saying the women I have met have had large egos I am saying though they have never seem to talk publicly about having a low self-esteem.
Now how does this relate to tickling, after all this is in the tickling discussion section right? Ok well if you see a person you find attractive getting tickled or tickling someone else do you get jealous? If you do, is this something you hide or something you show? Do you find that being involved with tickling either being a ler or lee makes you feel special? If so how?

 

[rhiannon]

Uhm....I think the answer is no, but I am not sure I understand the question!

 

[tickleteasing]

What is confusing about the question?

 

[rhiannon]

What does the first paragraph has to do with anything?

 

[tickleteasing]

What does the first paragraph has to do with anything?

I guess if the number one problem that faces women is low self esteem does tickling help out with low self esteem, or make a woman feel special?

 

[rhiannon]

I guess if the number one problem that faces women is low self esteem does tickling help out with low self esteem, or make a woman feel special?

No. Why would it?

 

[tickleteasing]

No. Why would it?

Well I mean if a woman is kissed by a man or someone she cares about I would think it would make her feel special. I see so reason tickling would not have the same affect?

 

[Tidas]

Kissing isn't typically a fetish either.

 

[rhiannon]

Well I mean if a woman is kissed by a man or someone she cares about I would think it would make her feel special. I see so reason tickling would not have the same affect?

The way some men treat a woman makes her feel special. But just towards that one person. It usually doesn't change a whole lot in her self-esteem. And it usually needs more than something as simple as a kiss - or a tickle - it's the whole way of treating the woman. It doesn't work like "His kiss makes me feel so special". It's "He makes me feel so special". I doubt that can be accomplished by tickling!

 

[tickleteasing]

The way some men treat a woman makes her feel special. But just towards that one person. It usually doesn't change a whole lot in her self-esteem. And it usually needs more than something as simple as a kiss - or a tickle - it's the whole way of treating the woman. It doesn't work like "His kiss makes me feel so special". It's "He makes me feel so special". I doubt that can be accomplished by tickling!

I guess what I am trying to say here and I am not trying to cause an argument just having a casual debate here. Is I have heard of female friends of mine say I wish he would pay attention to me(Tickle me) which is what they mean. I interpeted it to mean that being tickled to them made them feel special or wanted. Does what I say make sense.

 

[rhiannon]

I guess what I am trying to say here and I am not trying to cause an argument just having a casual debate here. Is I have heard of female friends of mine say I wish he would pay attention to me(Tickle me) which is what they mean. I interpeted it to mean that being tickled to them made them feel special or wanted. Does what I say make sense.

Paying attention equals tickling to them? I don't really see the connection here. 🙂 Unless that person is INTO tickling, why should they feel special or wanted being tickled by the guy?

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I actually think I have an idea of what you're trying to get at. If a woman has low self esteem, will having a partner (romantic or not) to tickle or be tickled by help with that?

I think the answer can be yes, but it's not the tickling. I think if a person (man or woman) has low self esteem, being shown any kind of positive, affectionate attention may help with that. I can't tell you how many threads I've seen here asking about the link between how attracted you are to someone and your willingness to play with that person - and my guess is that those threads are usually created by people who don't feel all that attractive and are wondering if people are going to be willing to play with them or not based on that alone.

Without getting too personal (hopefully), I went through a time when I didn't feel good about myself at all. I wasn't proud of who I was or any aspect of myself - emotionally, physically, intellectually, socially - I hated everything, and I expected that everyone else would and SHOULD feel the same way (about me - not themselves). Increasing my activity on the TMF and in the community, meeting a ton of new (amazing) people and experiencing the love, sincere acceptance and true friendship from them was a huge part of what helped me get out of that terrible frame of thinking.

But let me tell you right now, it had NOTHING to do with, "OMG people are willing to play with me!" It was not the tickling that meant anything to me. It was everything else - the talking and bonding and laughing hysterically at stupid things that still goes on between us every single day whether play happens or not. It's only AFTER I feel comfortable and secure with someone that I'm willing to play with them. I can't play with someone I don't already feel secure around, because when I'm being tickled is actually when I feel the most vulnerable and insecure.

So, long story short, if you're looking to boost someone's self esteem, don't throw them to the ground and pwn the shit out of them in hopes that they'll feel like a winnah winnah chicken dinnah because someone is willing to touch them. Show them acceptance on all levels by just being their friend. That, in my opinion, carries so much more meaning than just playing with them.

 

[rhiannon]

Very well said, Skip

 

[Lamashtu]

It could potentially make them focus on an aspect of their low self esteem. If a woman really isn't comfortable about her body, and you start to tickle her. She may focus more on her uncomfortability with her own body, and be self conscious of you tickling her. The mind can be a weird thing. On the flip side she may be happily distracted and laughy. But I don't think that would change anything mentally.

 

[sasaxrah]

I have to question this assertion that most women have self-esteem problems. I think most PEOPLE have self-esteem problems. Why are we talking only about women here?

That said, I agree that I can't imagine tickling alone will magically solve anyone's self-esteem problems. It's a lot more work than that.

 

[texastickler]

Sometimes we has human beings loose sight of the comfort our sense of touch brings. Tickling can be a possitive feeling and create a bond. Does it help with self-Esteem? I am not sure. It can make someone feel good if they ar receptive but I think in order to raise someones self-esteem, one must be emotionally uplifted. They need to hear kind words or receive affectiction from others. Try telling someone they did a good job. Tell them they look nice or even call them friend. Tickling would come later. I just do not believe it would help with self-esteem. I truly understand what you are asking tickleteasing and I do believe it is a good question. I just believe that there is much more involved in self-esteem.