Quick question.

[The_Kev]

Are we technically part of the BDSM community?

 

[Wolf]

Who would make that decision? Is there a governing body out there?

 

[The_Kev]

Who would make that decision? Is there a governing body out there?

Lol, I dont know I guess I'm just wondering if we fall under that definition. But if there was a governing body of the BDSM community that would be epic and I want in.

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[Lisatheticklee]

I mean probably, bondage is often involved and there's a heavy sub/dom dynamic and you could even make the argument it's a form of softer sadism/masochism. But I guess it's really just down if we choose to associate with it or not.

 

[TMF Jeff]

I'd say we're not part of that community by default because tickling by itself isn't connected to bdsm. You can tickle someone or be tickled by someone without bondage, domination, sadism or masochism.

But most of us, myself included, probably do belong to that community as well.

 

[robmic]

BDSM just sounds so evil!

 

[OmahaTickler]

It would seem we fit the B and D, but not the S and M. Much of it entails where people's heads are. Personally, as a tickler, I feel "dominance" insofar as I control the tickling and I want to elicit ticklish reactions, but I also need the ticklee to enjoy what I'm doing---preferably in a submissive state of mind (not inferior) that says "I surrender to the sensations because it turns me on to be helpless to the sensations," if that makes any sense. The S & M side seems more about pain and degradation----but I'm not judging, as those into that, of course, get off on it.

 

[Sharkiegirl]

It would seem we fit the B and D, but not the S and M. Much of it entails where people's heads are. Personally, at a tickler, I feel "dominance" insofar as I control the tickling and I want to elicit ticklish reactions, but I also need the tickler to enjoy what I'm doing---preferably in a submissive state of mind (not inferior) that says "I surrender to the sensations because it turns me on to be helpless to the sensations," if that makes any sense. The S & M side seems more about pain and degradation----but I'm not judging, as those into that, of course, get off on it.

To that point, at least in my play experience, sadism and masochism are a big part of intense tickle play! Not a "bad" thing, or pain related necessarily but just by definition alone:

Sadism: the tendency to derive pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others.

Masochism:the tendency to derive pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from one's own pain or humiliation.

I know I am a masochist in many ways, but the reason I love tickling is because it makes me suffer! I can take some spanking, nipple clamps, biting, etc. and still be able to function and even stay still without bondage, But with tickling, I lose my mind. I HAVE to get away from it, it is overwhelming to the point that I need to be restrained or I will do anything to get away. So I get myself tied down to make myself suffer. Masochism by definition I would think?

Same with the sadism portion, really. Of all the lers here, I would imagine that they enjoy the fact that the lee just "CAN'T TAKE IT!" You enjoy their suffering and begging, the embarrassment of one little finger destroying any assemblance of sanity in your victim, making them safe word. Sounds like sadism to me!

I have always considered myself a member of the BDSM community, since the start of my tickle play. *shrug* To each their own I suppose!

 

[Yote]

I think so. Tickling would be a sub-category.

People tend to think BDSM is all about pain and being tied up, but there's more to it. Tickling definitely fits under B/D and D/S. One could argue that it doesn't go with S/M, or sadism/masochism. But S&M is defined as receiving pleasure from pain or humiliation or giving such actions. And tickling can be used as a form of humiliation.

 

[Tenebrae]

Very good question. I've often wondered myself.

I'm a special (nut)case in the sense that I am very sadistic, and there are many forms of torture that turn me on, as long as they are inflicted upon women. I easily get off on movie torture scenes for instance. Also, the bondage and power play of our kink is not to be underestimated.

Yet I never felt that I quite belong in the BDSM, in at least one sense. The sensations offered by tickling actually trump many of the very "restrained" (pun intended) forms of play in vogue among the BDSM, at least for me. There is a form of raw energy in tickling that outmatches impact and the like, IMO. Tickling is a surprisingly powerful fantasy. It takes an enormous amount of brain space; it always surprises me how "exclusive" it sort of is.

Conversely, while exploring the BDSM scene I was surprised to find how many of them scorn our fantasy. Some fear the total loss of control it implies, others find it somehow "wrong" because it does not generate pain, and let's not forget those hilarious ones who can take 12 needles through their nipples but find the idea of being tickled "terrifying" and "too extreme" 😀 Yes, they exist, I've met a few.

That being said, even though we play slightly different games we indeed are playing in the same park, and connections do exist: the dom/sub relationship, certain practices, bondage of course... Whether we are really BDSM people or not is up to the individual to decide... as is the case for any community, after all 😉

 

[The_Kev]

I think so. Tickling would be a sub-category.

People tend to think BDSM is all about pain and being tied up, but there's more to it. Tickling definitely fits under B/D and D/S. One could argue that it doesn't go with S/M, or sadism/masochism. But S&M is defined as receiving pleasure from pain or humiliation or giving such actions. And tickling can be used as a form of humiliation.

Somebody I was talking about this with told me:

"If you're being tied up and begging for mercy, it's BDSM"

LOL, I thought that was pretty good.

 

[The_Kev]

and let's not forget those hilarious ones who can take 12 needles through their nipples but find the idea of being tickled "terrifying" and "too extreme"**Yes, they exist, I've met a few.

ROFLMAO. Good point!

I'm active and dabble in in other fetish communities too and, yeah ours definitely does get that strange rap of being too tame on the one hand and too extreme on the other. Lol.

I quoted this earlier but it bares repeating: a person from one of those other communities told me:"If you're being tied up and begging for mercy or tying someone up and making them beg for mercy, it's BDSM"

 

[Yote]

BDSM just sounds so evil!

and that's why i like it 😛

 

[Ickis]

Every now and then, some BDSM guys appear on the on-line tickling discussions, or attend our local gatherings (I live in Russia), but they never came twice. As they tell about their preferences and practices, it seems they soon grow bored with us, and we – with them.

No, seriously, how do you like the talk that any newcomer to their circle must stay on the sidelines for certain number of events, following rules by senior members, before being allowed to touch a woman; and drink no more than certain number of shots a night, or being suspended from practicing with a woman for certain number of days...

They really have a thing about rules, they create thousands of them to follow, and they really enjoy all that order. It seems the BDSM guys stand not for a lash, rope, or latex, but for invariable rules they are craving for in this ever-changing world. But have you ever seen much rules and order among ticklephiles?

So, on the one hand, there is dominance, and control in tickling, but the bona fide BDSM guys just turn their noses up at it. And on the other hand, one girl ( a -lee with a streak of submission) told that when she attended a BDSM party, she was soon kicked out in shame as she tried to undo the knot on her wrists with her teeth, because that damn knot was tied up by the master, and must be treated with awe and respect.

Yet another guy was banned at a foot-fetish website as he suggested try to tickle the ladies feet they admire so much, and the bondage people just cringe at the way we treat ropes. So, it seems that tickling fetish doesn’t belong to BDSM, bondage or foot-fetish, but is something different, betwixt and between.

 

[The_Kev]

Every now and then, some BDSM guys appear on the on-line tickling discussions, or attend our local gatherings (I live in Russia), but they never came twice. As they tell about their preferences and practices, it seems they soon grow bored with us, and we – with them.

No, seriously, how do you like the talk that any newcomer to their circle must stay on the sidelines for certain number of events, following rules by senior members, before being allowed to touch a woman; and drink no more than certain number of shots a night, or being suspended from practicing with a woman for certain number of days...

They really have a thing about rules, they create thousands of them to follow, and they really enjoy all that order. It seems the BDSM guys stand not for a lash, rope, or latex, but for invariable rules they are craving for in this ever-changing world. But have you ever seen much rules and order among ticklephiles?

So, on the one hand, there is dominance, and control in tickling, but the bona fide BDSM guys just turn their noses up at it. And on the other hand, one girl ( a -lee with a streak of submission) told that when she attended a BDSM party, she was soon kicked out in shame as she tried to undo the knot on her wrists with her teeth, because that damn knot was tied up by the master, and must be treated with awe and respect.

Yet another guy was banned at a foot-fetish website as he suggested try to tickle the ladies feet they admire so much, and the bondage people just cringe at the way we treat ropes. So, it seems that tickling fetish doesn’t belong to BDSM, bondage or foot-fetish, but is something different, betwixt and between.

I'm of two minds about the rules and procedures in the hard core BDSM community. On the one hand, I do understand that a lot of the things involved in that scene can be very dangerous and that it involves a lot more psychological ordeal than most other fetishes, and so a lot more ground rules and procedures are necessary in order to know exactly how comfortable the participant really is and that the whole thing be done safely, which is something I actually respect. On the other hand, that part about "this knot was tied by a master" does get a little annoying. It isn't so much their rules that bother me it's the "free Mason" style ranks and levels and shit that irritates me.

 

[Wolf]

I figure anyone who's into tickling can decide for themselves whether or not they're a part of the BDSM community.

 

[greenteam]

I've always kind of seen it as a Venn Diagram. Like tickling itself is it's own fetish/community but there's definitely crossover with BDSM and that just depends on how you play.

 

[Myriads]

In the formal sense, tickling fits into the greater kink community as a form of stimulation play. That is a spectrum that runs from all the forms of pain play, to orgasm control (forced and edged). Tickling occupies a unique place in that spectrum, as it's non-pain related, but forces strong involuntary responses.

Like any stimulation tool, tickling can be sadistic. Not needfully, but contextually.

So Tickling does fall into the BDSM realm pretty firmly on several counts.

All that said, each person will approach what is and is not BDSM individually. There are not universal rules for it. Just as there are none for what is sexual exactly. BDSM is more of a blanket CONTEXT that people bring their own desires to and find ways to express them within.

Myriads

 

[tklee88]

For me I think it falls into at least the SM portion. I’m definitely a masochist when it comes to being tickled, and I prefer my tickler to be sadistic. I need bondage if it’s going to last for any length of time, and am usually dominated while being tickled. So in the sense of the word, for me, yes, it’s bdsm.

Such great comments on this thread!