< Q . What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A . A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again .
Q . What's a mixed feeling?
A . When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q What's the height of conceit?
A . Having an orgasm and calling out your own name .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q . What's the definition of macho?
A . Jogging home from your vasectomy .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
Q . What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A . A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Q . Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A . They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q . Why is divorce so expensive?
A . Because it's worth it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q . What is a Yankee?
A . The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
Q . What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A . They both like a tight seal .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q . What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A . Their balls are just for decoration .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q . What is the difference between 'ooooooh'and 'aaaaaaah'?
A . About three inches .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
< Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A . The grip .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q . How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A . It's not hard .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
< Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A . The swallow .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
< Q . Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A . . They don't have balls to scratch!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A . A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again .
Q . What's a mixed feeling?
A . When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q What's the height of conceit?
A . Having an orgasm and calling out your own name .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q . What's the definition of macho?
A . Jogging home from your vasectomy .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
Q . What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A . A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Q . Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A . They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q . Why is divorce so expensive?
A . Because it's worth it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q . What is a Yankee?
A . The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
Q . What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A . They both like a tight seal .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q . What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A . Their balls are just for decoration .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q . What is the difference between 'ooooooh'and 'aaaaaaah'?
A . About three inches .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
< Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A . The grip .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q . How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A . It's not hard .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
< Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A . The swallow .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
< Q . Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A . . They don't have balls to scratch!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
