Relationship question

[Abeautifulapple]

General question, without getting really into it i didnt have any relationships in my life yet and im 21 but my questions are:
Do you guys enjoy normal sex?
Do you share this fetish with your partners? If so when and how? Like cant your significant other find out about it if u for example tickle her during sex or look at her feet?
What are your experiences in general with this fetish and how do you treat it

 

[WickedTouch]

Oh, she knows, but we're a little rare in that both of us are ticklephiles. I've had relationships in the past and ignorantly thought that I should try to hide it, suppress it, or not communicate about it. That only led to it coming off as weird or confusing. It is best to share things that are deeply integral to who you are fairly early (but not necessarily too early) in a relationship. These days I cringe when I see posts of those who are going to soon be married and are seeking advice on how to tell their significant other about their fetish. I cringe, not because I've always done it the right way, but because I've done it the wrong way enough to recognize it when I see others moving that same direction. Unless everything lines up and the vibe is right, maybe don't do the big reveal on the first date. Conversely, maybe don't wait a year or two, and certainly not a few weeks before your wedding night!

If you are seeking a partner in life, you want to look for someone that will accept you for who you really are, who you can share anything with, and who will help you meet your needs as much as you meet theirs. Provided that you are reasonable with your expectations and respectful of your partner's time and energy, it is not unreasonable to express this as a personal need. That being said, it is also not unreasonable for a potential partner to not want to be a part of it, which may or may not be a deal-breaker. It's all up to you to decide how important tickling is to you and to find someone that can meet those needs. At the same time, it's not just about tickling, and like with most things in life, there is compromise to be made.

I think people imagine that since we are both ticklephiles, we just have constant sessions and it's tickling all the time. The reality is that we are both living lives like everyone else and have to work intimacy and play into our stressful and busy weeks. Sometimes we even make room to play with others, which acts for us as a relationship building and bonding exercise that happens to be extremely fun and exciting. But when we do play, whether with others or just the two of us, we have to be very intentional about it or it gets overshadowed by everything else. I think that tickling, as important as it is to a ticklephile, is just another dimension of who we are. It needs time and attention in our lives just like anything else that's important to us, but should also not be out of balance with our other needs. There are many needs that factor into whether an individual is in a healthy state, and that is even more true for the state of health of a relationship. That is how we think about tickling and fit it into our lives.

 

[Maneo]

Sounds like you are trying to figure things out for yourself and feelings you have about tickling and intimacy. The tickling community, like any group or subgroup of people with specific preferences for some activity, is a very broad community. What any one of us who enjoy tickling like regarding relationships and intimacy covers the spectrum like any human activity. You could substitute "tickling" in your questions with "spanking" or "fellatio" or any other activity between consenting adults.

"Normal Sex" is a very relative term. If by normal, I assume you mean male-female intercourse. Sounds like you are asking if those of us into tickling can enjoy sex without tickling. Some can, come can't. There is no right or wrong answer.

Similarly, concerning sharing a love of tickling with your partner, some do, some don't. For those that do, the when and how is also as wide and different as there are people in the world.

As for experiences in general, you are in the right place to stroll through this online forum where you will find every variety of experience regarding tickling and relationships and sex.

Anything I, or anyone else on TMF, respond to your questions, only applies to me.

So, for me, with a lifelong tickling preference, fetish, desire, passion - whatever you want to call it - and I'm 74, and was aware of my tickling inclinations before I was 21, my answers are:

-Yes, I enjoy sex without tickling. That's me, not anyone else.

-Yes, I've shared my tickle desires with all my intimate partners. I'm a m/f ler by the way.

-When and how I have shared with my partners has entirely depended on the other person and our relationship. For me, even with those I've met online, including brief one-time encounters, the relationship between myself and the other person came first, tickle stuff after. This includes vanilla folks and those more into tickling than myself.

-How do I treat my tickling desires? Like I treat anything else in my life. It's just part of me. I try to make sure I control it, and it doesn't control me.

You'll figure it out. With intimate activity, if there is any generalization, I'd suggest being always aware how the other person is feeling as well as your own feelings.

 

[Abeautifulapple]

Sounds like you are trying to figure things out for yourself and feelings you have about tickling and intimacy. The tickling community, like any group or subgroup of people with specific preferences for some activity, is a very broad community. What any one of us who enjoy tickling like regarding relationships and intimacy covers the spectrum like any human activity. You could substitute "tickling" in your questions with "spanking" or "fellatio" or any other activity between consenting adults.

"Normal Sex" is a very relative term. If by normal, I assume you mean male-female intercourse. Sounds like you are asking if those of us into tickling can enjoy sex without tickling. Some can, come can't. There is no right or wrong answer.

Similarly, concerning sharing a love of tickling with your partner, some do, some don't. For those that do, the when and how is also as wide and different as there are people in the world.

As for experiences in general, you are in the right place to stroll through this online forum where you will find every variety of experience regarding tickling and relationships and sex.

Anything I, or anyone else on TMF, respond to your questions, only applies to me.

So, for me, with a lifelong tickling preference, fetish, desire, passion - whatever you want to call it - and I'm 74, and was aware of my tickling inclinations before I was 21, my answers are:

-Yes, I enjoy sex without tickling. That's me, not anyone else.

-Yes, I've shared my tickle desires with all my intimate partners. I'm a m/f ler by the way.

-When and how I have shared with my partners has entirely depended on the other person and our relationship. For me, even with those I've met online, including brief one-time encounters, the relationship between myself and the other person came first, tickle stuff after. This includes vanilla folks and those more into tickling than myself.

-How do I treat my tickling desires? Like I treat anything else in my life. It's just part of me. I try to make sure I control it, and it doesn't control me.

You'll figure it out. With intimate activity, if there is any generalization, I'd suggest being always aware how the other person is feeling as well as your own feelings.

Thank you so much for the reply! You are right i am in the middle of figuring things out i think my problems are more related towards intimacy but tickling just takes the fall and is something im insecure about and i feel like makes me miss out on trying in general since i “know” i will be rejected. Im pretty hopeful in general so i will try to remain optimistic with this as well.
The problem is i really dont know how i work in action because ive only had one experience with a girl so far but i havent gone too far
And i dont know how much tickling is a part of me when it was always just me and “it”. I feel like if i am with another person that j genuinely have feelings for that i wont have any real problems.
Anyway this is just me overthinking a bit and wanting to share somewhere that people might understand me more. Your advice is really solid i can’t really fit people or experiences in categories, i can only do that for myself. So i guess i will find out?

 

[Lee Lerish]

I'm kind of shy so I haven't been in many relationships, but of the ones I was in, the girls seemed a bit indifferent about being tickled, meaning they liked it in a fun way, but weren't into it as a fetish the way I am. And they seemed to enjoy tickling me more than me tickling them, once they knew I liked it. As for feet, most did not mind me kissing and licking their feet, but a few would say to leave their feet alone. One girl I knew would would ask me to lick her feet. But most just let me do it, and didn't seem to care one way or another.

There was one girl who I got to like being tickled, by stimulating her clit at the same time. So I do know that there are ways to get them to like it, but I think that depends a lot on the person, and how it's done, etc.

And yes I do still enjoy normal sex, I don't have to tickle or be tickled to enjoy it, but to me tickling makes it so much better.

Interesting that you're 21, because that was the age I first had sex, but it only happened because the girl asked me, which is usually how it happened the other times too...I ended up with the more aggressive types, which may be why those relationships didn't last long.

 

[redheadlady]

I have to say, I met my partner here and our sex almost always involves tickling. Tickling as foreplay at the very least, but usually full tickle torture/tickle fucking

 

[Mr. Nimbus]

To answer question by question.
1. Yes. I don't ever want a fetish to interfere with my ability to have genuine connection through intimacy. I do not incorporate any of my fetishes into intimacy every single time. Now, that being said
2. Yes. Usually after a few months and initial intimacy. I want my kinks to inform my relationship, not define it (full disclosure I like tickling but am more into feet and bondage). My partner doesn't need to share my fetish but if they are completely turned/think its gross, then we probably won't work out long-term.
3. I don't spring it on them in the bedroom. Maybe a flirtatious conversation turns into a foot rub turns into a tickle.
4. It's a part of who I am but doesn't define me.

 

[Lee Lerish]

I have to say, I met my partner here and our sex almost always involves tickling. Tickling as foreplay at the very least, but usually full tickle torture/tickle fucking

Thanks for saying this, because it lets me know I'm not the only one who feels this way regarding sex and tickling, which to me goes hand in hand (or foot, etc.). So I know there are others out there who are the same, it's just a matter of finding them.