RIP communication?

[tkpatience]

Is the art of communication for the sake of relationships really dead?

Two things occurred to me today:

1. If a male asks a female to go out and do anything whether or not the intention is romantic... It is considered a date.

2. The divorce rate in America is really high. Higher in these recent years than the baby boomer's generation.

If a male and female doing anything really is considered a date, then how is it possible to even have or improve platonic relationships with one another?

This one standard is the perfect example of how the art of communication in American society is being lost.

Let's suppose for a second that a male does ask a female out with romantic intentions. Doesn't romance usually imply love? Is love at first sight or date even possible? Or does a relationship involving love take time to develop?

It is not surprising that the breakdown in communication would lead to deterioration of relationships. I think the divorce rate in America was like 50% or higher. Maybe people don't spend the time to court anymore or rather screen. I bet there are less divorces in marriages that are prearranged.

The saddest thing is that we do it to ourselves. The freedom that was so enjoy to choose our own mates also gets in the way of the biological goal to produce offspring.

RIP communication

"Oh, don't worry children. Most of you will *never* fall in love, but will marry out of fear of dying alone!" -The Simpsons

 

[KrazieDog]

I'm not at all trying to tear down your opinion, but there is very little in the post that correlates with the title. You gave one fact, the the rest opinions, and really didn't show the death of communication, as much as gave your ideals on dating/marriage.

1. If a male asks a female to go out and do anything whether or not the intention is romantic... It is considered a date.

That is incorrect, unless your definition of date is the dictionary's version (a social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person). The way you labeled it is not the same. You are speaking of date as in a "romantic" date. I asked one of my best friend's wives to lunch yesterday while she was in town. She's been married to him for 12 years, and neither of us have any romantic inklings toward each other in the slightest. I had lunch with my friend. That is a fact. It was a date because she is female, would be an opinion.

2. The divorce rate in America is really high. Higher in these recent years than the baby boomer's generation.

True and a fact, and while communication breakdown CAN be a reason for that, so can infidelity, falling out of love, running them over with the car intentionally, etc.

If a male and female doing anything really is considered a date, then how is it possible to even have or improve platonic relationships with one another?

Back to the original statement, doing "anything" is NOT considered a date. Even so, dating is a time of building a friendship. You are getting lost in terms, dating, platonic, communication. You are making them bigger then whats really happening. If they are dating, they are building the relationship, hence why they haven't moved in together, got married, etc.

This one standard is the perfect example of how the art of communication in American society is being lost.

Well, this is "your" standard. Your theory of what exactly they are doing is what leads you to say that, but, your theory may be wrong, and communication may be exactly what they are doing, whether you believe it or not. You've admitted in your post here that you've always been alone. So you may not see it from the other side how the dating aspect is the "getting to know you" side where communication and trust are built. I would totally agree in that some people move too fast, not trying to get to know one another, but it is not the rule.

Let's suppose for a second that a male does ask a female out with romantic intentions. Doesn't romance usually imply love? Is love at first sight or date even possible? Or does a relationship involving love take time to develop?

These are great questions to ask individuals to get their take on it in their own words, but does nothing to reinforce a breakdown of communication.

It is not surprising that the breakdown in communication would lead to deterioration of relationships. I think the divorce rate in America was like 50% or higher. Maybe people don't spend the time to court anymore or rather screen. I bet there are less divorces in marriages that are prearranged.

A valid point as said above, yes a breakdown of communication can definitely lead to that. Again, yes some people don't put enough work in to courting/dating. Prearranged marriages really have no bearing on the topic at all, because they are often forced and not open to discussion, so the fact more of them stay together without the option of communication just points the opposite way.

The saddest thing is that we do it to ourselves.

Using the topic as the point of this sentence is definitely a good point to reflect on, because in the instances where the breakdown does take place, it is ourselves that let it happen.

"Oh, don't worry children. Most of you will *never* fall in love, but will marry out of fear of dying alone!" -The Simpsons

While that happens everyday, communication is not at fault. Most would argue that choosing to marry out of fear may be a step backwards to begin with.

Again, patience, I'm just dissecting and in no way trying to bash you. Take care. 🙂

 

[ThisLilPiggy]

Has it also occurred to you that your art of communication is that of a stick figure with a noticeable erect cock and its hands behind its back with its fingers crossed, which is so simple to see and counter productive to disguise.

There are lots of instances when it doesn't take long to notice enter and exit points and go through em. A short relationship doesn't necessarily mean a bad relationship nor does a long relationship mean a good relationship. Marriage isn't really a good tool to use when gauging communication between men and women. Marriage was used to develop families when our ancestors didn't have long to live. People nowadays live beyond their 20s and 30s.

It's not RIP communication. It's RIP constraint.

 

[tkpatience]

I'm not at all trying to tear down your opinion, but there is very little in the post that correlates with the title. You gave one fact, the the rest opinions, and really didn't show the death of communication, as much as gave your ideals on dating/marriage.


That is incorrect, unless your definition of date is the dictionary's version (a social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person). The way you labeled it is not the same. You are speaking of date as in a "romantic" date. I asked one of my best friend's wives to lunch yesterday while she was in town. She's been married to him for 12 years, and neither of us have any romantic inklings toward each other in the slightest. I had lunch with my friend. That is a fact. It was a date because she is female, would be an opinion.

True and a fact, and while communication breakdown CAN be a reason for that, so can infidelity, falling out of love, running them over with the car intentionally, etc.

Back to the original statement, doing "anything" is NOT considered a date. Even so, dating is a time of building a friendship. You are getting lost in terms, dating, platonic, communication. You are making them bigger then whats really happening. If they are dating, they are building the relationship, hence why they haven't moved in together, got married, etc.

Well, this is "your" standard. Your theory of what exactly they are doing is what leads you to say that, but, your theory may be wrong, and communication may be exactly what they are doing, whether you believe it or not. You've admitted in your post here that you've always been alone. So you may not see it from the other side how the dating aspect is the "getting to know you" side where communication and trust are built. I would totally agree in that some people move too fast, not trying to get to know one another, but it is not the rule.

These are great questions to ask individuals to get their take on it in their own words, but does nothing to reinforce a breakdown of communication.

A valid point as said above, yes a breakdown of communication can definitely lead to that. Again, yes some people don't put enough work in to courting/dating. Prearranged marriages really have no bearing on the topic at all, because they are often forced and not open to discussion, so the fact more of them stay together without the option of communication just points the opposite way.


Using the topic as the point of this sentence is definitely a good point to reflect on, because in the instances where the breakdown does take place, it is ourselves that let it happen.

While that happens everyday, communication is not at fault. Most would argue that choosing to marry out of fear may be a step backwards to begin with.

Again, patience, I'm just dissecting and in no way trying to bash you. Take care. 🙂

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=date

Has it also occurred to you that your art of communication is that of a stick figure with a noticeable erect cock and its hands behind its back with its fingers crossed, which is so simple to see and counter productive to disguise.

I think that's kinda what is being thought as romance in society. I really hoped that people still took the time to develop relationships.
As simplistic as it is, people do have the biological goal of reproducing. That's not the only reason we're here but it is one of them.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=date

You're using a quote from urban dictionary as a strict basis for your argument?

 

[Rook's Media]

You're using a quote from urban dictionary as a strict basis for your argument?

This.

 

[Bohemianne]

Is the art of communication for the sake of relationships really dead?

No. The culprit is that people have the choice to let communication die. People don't need the art of communication at any rate, what they lack is the 'desire' to go on.

The saddest thing is that we do it to ourselves. The freedom that was so enjoy to choose our own mates also gets in the way of the biological goal to produce offspring.

Well, erm....the truth in this world is that some of them actually run away from the offspring. 😉

RIP communication

*sends casket, candles and flowers*
You want me to call a priest for the....

No. The world is just evolving. Do you think there is a big difference between past and present? Attitude, pride, apathy and inconsideration are things that make it DIE. But to be fair, let's also consider "in between life and death" reasons.

 

[tkpatience]

Well he did ask. Urban dictionary is just one reference. Yes I was going off of dictionary reference, which KD kindly defined in his thread. The only reason I referenced urban dictionary was because people actually have to thumbs up and thumbs down definitions.

The break down of communication is a conundrum. Ad hominem just results in fallacious arguments being made.

I apologize. I really thought people would discuss this issue in terms of their own personal experiences rather than try to prove me wrong. Guess that shows me for trying to have a discussion on the discussion forums .

Bohemianne, I totally agree with you. Desire is a huge part of the problem. I also agree with you that there are plenty of people who avoid offspring.

Thank you for not making this a one sided discussion.

*sends casket, candles and flowers*
You want me to call a priest for the....

"Serenity now, serenity now... INSANITY LATER, serenity now" -Seinfeld

 

[Rook's Media]

I apologize. I really thought people would discuss this issue in terms of their own personal experiences rather than try to prove me wrong. Guess that shows me for trying to have a discussion on the discussion forums .

Sorry that you feel this way.

I have many female friends...that I hang out with. When I spend time w/ them, we're not on a date.
Plain and simple. We're friends...spending time together...without naughty intentions.

Yes...this does still exist.

Also...the divorce rate increase is no surprise...it's been high for many years...and will continue to rise.

Sooo...what were we discussing again?

As Krazie mentioned, the thread title, and the discussion within simply don't correlate.

Not trying to be a dick...I'm just trying to make sense of this.

You do voice some interesting opinions though.

 

[Coup de Grace]

I know I'm going to catch hell for this, but communication is dead because women killed it. This isn't applicable to all women, but you can't even compliment a woman on her outfit in the workplace because that's considered harassment. Ask a woman out and that's considered stalking. The friendliest and most innocent of gestures are more often than not being misconstrued and when that happens, it's straight to HR where heads roll. Everything has become so political and pussified that you can't say anything without it being misinterpreted. Ultimately, your best bet is to say and do nothing... and I speak from experience.

 

[MrMacphisto]

1. If a male asks a female to go out and do anything whether or not the intention is romantic... It is considered a date.

Not true at all. I've had (and still have) plenty of platonic friendships with women. There may occasionally be situations where one person has feelings for the other without reciprocation, but over time, these things can be worked out in a positive way.

Now, it is true that sometimes people can get nosy and try to suggest there's something going on beyond platonic interaction, but most of the time, there really isn't.