Saying this coz I've never told ANYONE before... Need advice.

[meef]

[[BTW this post is sorta PG-13 rated... at least by my standards, lol just wanted to put that out there]]

I've been a member of this forum for a few years already but only ever comment when necessary. 95% of the time I'm one of those lurkers who come here just to check out the latest clips, get my gratification, then go about my business.

I would like a few open minds to please read this coz I really want to speak my mind for a moment and the only people who I feel would understand me are those who enjoy this fetish like me. I honestly am too embarrassed to tell anyone in my own social circle about this.

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Okay, first off I'm not condemning nor passing judgement on the tickle fetish. I've had it since I was around 11-13 years old and it's enjoyable for sure. The problem with me is I'm trying to quit it (lol sounds like I'm talking about a drug or something). When I was about 12-13 I started masturbating to fantasies I would imagine while in bed, pretending I was tickling a woman's feet. During this time and for a long time, I never associated this action with sex. Honestly, I was a naive kid. I didn't consider this as being a sexual act. All I knew was I had an itch overcome me, I would then find my bed and "scratch" that itch while playing that imaginary fantasy in my mind of tickling a woman. Usually, it was a woman I knew... teacher, etc.

So for several years I didn't think it was sexual, and so I didn't think anything of it... Yet, I still was embarrassed by it. Not because I was masturbating. In fact, if I was just masturbating I would have easily asked my parents about it, like what I do it, etc... What prevented me from coming out about it was that the concept of "tickling" and fantasizing about that while doing this felt too "silly" and made me feel awkward and weird around "normal" people. Still, it was the only thing that would come to mind whenever I "scratched my itch".

I grew up as an artist, so I indulged in my fetish in many different ways: I would draw pictures, tickle my sister's dolls when I was alone (I was VERY embarrassed by this as well), and eventually I found a tickling website on the internet! It sounded crazy but I was so surprised that there were others who thought of tickling in the same way I did! After a while, my dad found out I was visiting these sites and scolded me... that embarrassed the heck out of me. Still, I kept going in private. I also go in Second Life and role play whenever possible.

Here's my dilemma now though: I'm married, and my wife is 100% exactly what I want in a wife from looks to personality. We have a very healthy marriage and she loves me like crazy. We've been married for a few years now.

The problem is, she's not ticklish. Well, not so much anyway. I can get her on her sides if I use the right amount of pressure and at the right angle, lol... but I've always fantasized about tickling a woman that's going nuts laughing loudly, jerking her body around, and my #1 favorite spot are the feet.

I've never actually TOLD her that I have a tickle fetish, but I have said things like "Tickling your feet turn me on" and other things like that. She lets me touch her feet all I want, but when it comes to tickling them, she says it feels like scratching and winds up being almost painful or just really bothering her, but she never laughs.... Only after engaging in more intimate stuff does she ever give me a few playful giggles but that's it. I never get the gratification I've always fantasized about.

As a result, I find myself still masturbating to videos and Second Life role plays. Problem is, I have this personal conviction (which I'm not judging anyone, please know this) that it's wrong for me to do it, because now I realize what I'm doing is a sexual act, and I believe that this should only be between my wife and I. She also used to masturbate as well, but she made the decision to stop when we got married... So imagine how that makes me feel... Even when we're intimate, I still fantasize tickling her feet and her going wild, but I never get to experience this for myself.

I have one maybe one or two experiences with her where she's let me grab her legs and tickle her feet... and gives me a fake laugh... Which at the time, helps but it makes me feel like I'm just weird or handicapped.

Basically, what I'm saying is I feel it's done more damage than good for my life. It makes me feel so different and alone. I'm an honorable and loyal man and husband, but I feel stuck without knowing what to do. I want to try and get rid of this fetish, but it's sooo hard.

Again, I'm not judging anyone else, this is just about me. Can anybody relate? Does anyone have any advice?

 

[meef]

BTW just wanted to put out there that as a result to my fetish, I still to this day catch glimpses of women's feet and legs, especially when they're in heels and I find myself staring or looking at them over and over and over and over... then I fantasize about tickling them when I'm alone. It's basically really distracting to me.

 

[Phineas]

The way I see it, you have a couple of options.

One, you can talk to your wife and reach some kind of arrangement. I know people who come to gatherings and play with friends, who are in committed relationships. They get their "fix" with the full blessing of their significant other.

Two, you can seek help - and I don't mean that in a "you're sick and twisted" kind of way. I mean that it's obvious you have some issues surrounding this (guilt, etc.) that I don't think anyone here is qualified to help you work through. Which, unfortunately, still means talking to your wife.

And three, you can get over it, forget about it, and get on with your life. I don't really recommend that last one.

I'd have to say that you definitely need to tell your wife what you told us, but not present it in a way that makes it look like she's the one at fault; like, since she's not ticklish/etc. enough for you that she's driving you into the arms of the video producers here at the TMF. That would be Bad. Basically just say "hey, this is how I'm feeling, what do you think?" and go from there.

BTW just wanted to put out there that as a result to my fetish, I still to this day catch glimpses of women's feet and legs, especially when they're in heels and I find myself staring or looking at them over and over and over and over... then I fantasize about tickling them when I'm alone. It's basically really distracting to me.

There's nothing wrong with fantasizing, but if it's distracting you to the point where you can't function, then you do need to get help with that. At the very least, you need to learn to stop staring, because that's creepy.

 

[meef]

Both very awesome replies, thanks guys. I appreciate that. I definitely need to digest some of what you guys said tonight for sure...

 

[c7_assassin]

I'd have to say that you definitely need to tell your wife what you told us, but not present it in a way that makes it look like she's the one at fault; like, since she's not ticklish/etc. enough for you that she's driving you into the arms of the video producers here at the TMF. That would be Bad. Basically just say "hey, this is how I'm feeling, what do you think?" and go from there.

There's nothing wrong with fantasizing, but if it's distracting you to the point where you can't function, then you do need to get help with that. At the very least, you need to learn to stop staring, because that's creepy.

^This; although if she was willing to give up masturbation, I'm not sure what kind of sexual dynamic you guys have, or whether she'd understand... But overall I'd say being honest is your best bet. You love each other, after all.

 

[rhiannon]

There is nothing to add to what Phineas said.

I don't think that there is a problem with masturbating to your fantasies as long as you still can have satisfying sex with your wife. Talk to her about the fact that she is not masturbating anymore. She really should. Everybody is doing it. Just because you have a partner doesn't mean you shouldn't masturbate. There are times where you just don't feel like doing the big program and just want to do a little something for yourself. It is only a problem if you can't have a regular sex life because of it.

 

[mabus]

Here's my dilemma now though: I'm married, and my wife is 100% exactly what I want in a wife from looks to personality. We have a very healthy marriage and she loves me like crazy. We've been married for a few years now.

The problem is, she's not ticklish. Well, not so much anyway. I can get her on her sides if I use the right amount of pressure and at the right angle, lol... but I've always fantasized about tickling a woman that's going nuts laughing loudly, jerking her body around, and my #1 favorite spot are the feet.

I've never actually TOLD her that I have a tickle fetish, but I have said things like "Tickling your feet turn me on" and other things like that. She lets me touch her feet all I want, but when it comes to tickling them, she says it feels like scratching and winds up being almost painful or just really bothering her, but she never laughs.... Only after engaging in more intimate stuff does she ever give me a few playful giggles but that's it. I never get the gratification I've always fantasized about.

The first few sentences is why you have a tougher, yet much better situation than many - your wife loves you like crazy, AND she's 100% of what you want, AND she lets you indulge your fantasy.....

I'm sure at this point, telling her you love tickling and feet would be a huge weight off your chest, and she already seems cool with it.
A discussion about what turns each other on would be useful, because as the husband, you can always learn how to pleasure your wife better....I know she won't mind at all!
(Unless she's a cold, mean, religious prude or something, and that doesn't come across in your posts...)

But, she's probably not that ticklish. It sucks. But...it's life. Some people aren't ticklish. Some people are.

Some people are ticklish, but just scream and yell, where some have a gloriously beautiful laugh.

There are guys who like the laugh, who get stuck with a screamer. There are guys who like screaming and violent thrashing, who end up falling for a girl who throws her head back and
let's out a gorgeous laugh. I'd LOVE!!!!!! someone like that.....and they're sitting there disappointed!

You're living the reality of life, and are experiencing the great mysteries.

You ever catch some great tickling videos, with the great models?

My favorites were Arianne, Rachelle, Kristen from RealTickling, some guys who loved being tickled had fantasies about Priscilla.

None of these girls are making videos any more.

I bet Priscilla is with some guy she never tickles, who has no fetish, and wouldn't even enjoy tickling.

I think Kristen and Rachelle got married. Rachelle had stunning feet, and a better laugh.
I bet she's married to a guy who doesn't even notice her feet, and none of these girls is probably ever tickled.

If they are....it's probably just a thing, ...that is done. It's like when I see a girl wearing leather -it does absolutely nothing for me.

This is life. Mathematically, you may never end up with "the perfect match." Or, they'll be wrong in some other area.
They'll be crazy ticklish....but a fucking bitch.
"Yeah, well, I'd tickler her, and make her not be a bitch, I'd...."

Yeah, whatever. She'll probably call the cops on you. Or if she even had a tickle fetish.... trust me, if you're are insulted and degraded, made to feel 1/2 an centimeter tall,
all day long, every day......you won't WANT to tickle her. You'll pray she has an affair so you can have an easier time leaving!


Your key is, if you find more to life and sex than just tickling, explore those areas extensively.

You have that base of love that you share for each other.

There are whole books on different sex moves.

There are an infinite fantasy role playing adventures you can engage in - sexy cowgirl, genie, spy, teacher, secretary, military officer, cop, hooters waitress, french maid, regular maid, naked maid....pant pant pant!

There is the vast array of sexy lingerie - socks, stockings, pantyhose (and all the colors and softnesses and sheernesses,) nighties, bikinis, just bra and thong, nightgowns, etc.

You could explore footjobs, pantyhose footjobs (use super soft, thin pantyhose - you'll die and go to heaven. Too thick pantyhose, it might burn after a while...) barefoot jobs, sock jobs, etc.

You could go on and on and on......

I've see girls become WAY more ticklish in pantyhose, but hey, she may just not be that ticklish.

I was in two relationships in my life, and both sucked. The girls, my "ex-girlfriend" who later said we never even dated....then said later we DID date.....didn't matter to me, we barely even held hands, certainly never kissed, so I could go either way.... and my ex-wife, who usually held me in contempt. (and pretty much everyone else on Earth...)

APPRECIATE your great wife, and be thankful you could have ended up with some mean old hag.

Now go have some great sex!

 

[Wolf]

The first few sentences is why you have a tougher, yet much better situation than many - your wife loves you like crazy, AND she's 100% of what you want, AND she lets you indulge your fantasy.....

*SNIP*, just for space concerns. Everything contained in that post was 100% awesome.

APPRECIATE your great wife, and be thankful you could have ended up with some mean old hag.

Now go have some great sex!

Excellent advice.

 

[VERNON1973]

My life experience nearly mirrors yours. I was with someone for 10years like your wife but at least she gave me permission to tickle other girls we knew if she was there. I am now with a gorgeous girl with gorgeous feet and ticklish nearly all over who wants to learn about my fetish but only ever wants me to tickle her which I understand! I know potentially I will have just one girl to tickle from now on but she is willing to learn and accept because I opened up about everything! Get chatting with your wife is my advice!

 

[tygoneagain15]

Talk to her.

I know I'm the pot that calls the kettle black in that regard, because I haven't talked to either of the girlfriends I've had about my love of tickling, but then again I either didn't trust her or didn't have enough time with her to really get anywhere.

However, when I do meet that perfect person, I plan on telling her everything. She deserves to know, at the very least, or I feel that she loves a man different from the one she's dating. It's also a great way to move relationships to the next step.

In the end, though, honesty and communication is key. The more honest and talkative you are, the healthier your relationship will be.

I hope for the best outcome for your situation. You sound like a totally awesome couple!

 

[WheresThe Clip?]

Basically this is the relationship I have had for 5 year with my lady. Fantastic woman but as ticklish as a bag of onions (it's not as if she hasn't let me try on several occasions). Also she is always willing to try and tickle me (dress up in lingerie etc), but it just never works as it should. But she is a great woman nonetheless, and we do/enjoy a lot of things together outside of the bedroom.

Now read Mabus reply again.

 

[meef]

Heck yeah, I gotta say Mabus, your advice was PHENOMENAL. Thank you! It brought a lot of insight into my situation. Bottom line is, I plan on being with my wife for the long haul and the reason I bring it up here to this community is because I know there's more to life than my fetish. Personally, we do have a GREAT sex life, and one thing Mabus said brought up something else I forgot to mention... I do prefer nylon tickling. I'm sorry barefoot fans, but with me, 90% of the time when my wife and I are intimate, she's usually in pantyhose, so believe me when I say, I've definitely tried tickling her in those!

As a matter of fact, they do make her a little more sensitive, but the reaction I get is her pulling her feet away telling me "uh-uh". She's explained to me that it doesn't tickle, it feels like just me scratching her and sometimes feels painful... But I've tried not using my nails, I've tried adding less pressure on my fingers when I tickle her... I rarely get a few giggles from her so it feels like I'm playing the lottery or something, lol.

Still, my wife truly does love me and I have 0 doubt about it. We don't believe in divorce and I think it would be absurd to do so on the fact that she's not ticklish.

At the end of the day, I think part of your advice just rings true: Some people are ticklish, some aren't - that's life.

That sucks, lol but it's true. I've been struggling with this for as long as we've been married, and I'm just now telling someone about this (you guys). I enjoy the fantasy and all that and I also acknowledge everyone has sexual fantasies. My wife has some. Nothing really wrong with that in my opinion. And let me add to the fact that I'm sure she knows about my fetish, because I've told her "tickling your feet turns me on" and whenever I try and she pulls them away, I remind her again. And again, she lets me tickle her sides which seems to be the only ticklish part on her body most of the time. She'll lay there and not even kick, but let out a beautiful laugh.... so I've gotten to the point where I pretend I'm tickling her feet even though I'm poking at her sides...

She tries. And I'm sure she knows my fetish, but the problem with her is she doesn't know what a fetish really is and how it's linked to my arousal. She's sorta one of those innocent minded girls, which is something I love about her too!

 

[meef]

Oh I also want to say thank you to everyone who's contributed to this discussion so far. Trust me I'm reading everything and believe me this is a HUGE comfort to finally engage in a discussion like this... To that end, based on everyone's advice, I'm pretty sure I've already spoken to my wife about my fetish to the point where she has acknowledged it, because one of the first things she does when she wants to be intimate is she'll dress up, making sure she's in a skirt, nylons and heels, then she'll sit next to me and plop her feet on my lap.

Plus, girls pick up on hints whereas guys typically don't... so I'm pretty sure she's fully aware. The only thing I can do at this point I think is sit down with her and make an appointment to really emphasize just how much it turns me on to tickle her and have her laugh her head off... but 1) If I emphasize that even further it might freak her out lol; 2) She just doesn't seem ticklish there except on rare occasions so I think I'm stuck between a rock and hard place on that issue.

That's sorta why I came out to discuss how I can get over this fetish, coz in my original post I described that I masturbate to videos and stuff... but I delete them so my wife doesn't see them. To me, if I'm hiding something, I feel it's wrong. I'm not judging anyone else, but that's just my personal conviction. Knowing that she's already aware of my fetish yet I only get gratification from my fantasies through videos and role plays... I just feel a bit trapped.

 

[Wolf]

Oh I also want to say thank you to everyone who's contributed to this discussion so far. Trust me I'm reading everything and believe me this is a HUGE comfort to finally engage in a discussion like this... To that end, based on everyone's advice, I'm pretty sure I've already spoken to my wife about my fetish to the point where she has acknowledged it, because one of the first things she does when she wants to be intimate is she'll dress up, making sure she's in a skirt, nylons and heels, then she'll sit next to me and plop her feet on my lap.

Plus, girls pick up on hints whereas guys typically don't... so I'm pretty sure she's fully aware. The only thing I can do at this point I think is sit down with her and make an appointment to really emphasize just how much it turns me on to tickle her and have her laugh her head off... but 1) If I emphasize that even further it might freak her out lol; 2) She just doesn't seem ticklish there except on rare occasions so I think I'm stuck between a rock and hard place on that issue.

That's sorta why I came out to discuss how I can get over this fetish, coz in my original post I described that I masturbate to videos and stuff... but I delete them so my wife doesn't see them. To me, if I'm hiding something, I feel it's wrong. I'm not judging anyone else, but that's just my personal conviction. Knowing that she's already aware of my fetish yet I only get gratification from my fantasies through videos and role plays... I just feel a bit trapped.

So, she knows about it, and she's trying to indulge you, but you still feel "trapped"...
not to get too paternal, here (as is my wont), but whose responsibility is it, then?

If you want something more, or something else, and she's trying to meet you halfway, it seems...there's only one person who can do anything about this.

 

[meef]

So, she knows about it, and she's trying to indulge you, but you still feel "trapped"...
not to get too paternal, here (as is my wont), but whose responsibility is it, then?

If you want something more, or something else, and she's trying to meet you halfway, it seems...there's only one person who can do anything about this.

Huh?... I'm sorry I'm a bit confused on what you're saying. I'm not blaming my wife for anything, the point I'm making is she isn't ticklish nor does she enjoy when I try to tickle her feet. I'm here for advice. I'm fully responsible for what I'm going through, duh. I'm not suggesting my wife is doing anything wrong. I just want to get some feedback from people who might relate on what they might have done and what I might be able to do, whether it's change my behavior on this matter or learn how to quit completely... Or my biggest hope is finding a way to tickle her feet without it hurting or scratching her, lol which I know is unrealistic. I've never opened myself up to anyone about this, ever. This is the first time I am. I'm just seeking advice.

 

[Wolf]

You misunderstand. I mean responsibility, as in whose job it is to fix this "problem"..not blame.

You can only resolve this (and get what you want) by talking to her and telling her exactly what you want.

 

[VERNON1973]

Meef

I have recently been COMPLETELY honest and thorough with everything I feel with my fetish to the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with! I was really worried because although she is very ticklish she did get angry when I trapped her and tickled her before she knew all. Now she knows exactly everything, even this site, she is accepting me tickling her. I think be COMPLETELY honest with her about everything. You are not committing a crime!

 

[mustang]

Welcome the club. I have had a foot tickling fetish since my earliest memory and have lived through every imaginable embarrassing situation...especially before the Internet when each of us felt like we were the only ones in the world with this fetish. At least there is comfort in knowing that you are not alone. In my experience, having a tickling fetish has been like being something of a schizophrenic or a bisexual. I am completely hetero, so I have always been able to have straight sex, but at the same time it is not completely satisfying. I would much rather put a girl's bare feet on my chest and tickle her soles while her toes curl and spread while she gives me a handjob. The orgasm that I get from this is mind-blowing. But, it is a hard sell to a 'normal' woman. Like many have said, honesty is the best policy. If you meet a girl that you want to have a relationship with it is best to 'bite the bullet' and 'fess up in regard to your sexuality as soon as it is convenient. If she has a problem with it you can move on and no one gets too badly hurt. If you do the cowardly thing and form a relationship and then try to reveal the true nature of your sexuality, things can be much worse. She may accept it because she likes you, but down deep she will probably be disappointed or conflicted. For instance, I told a girlfriend that I was deeply involved with about my fetish, and she said, "Now you tell me". She went along with it, but never understood it. Basically, she saw me as something of a bisexual. When we were in bed she would say things like, "Do you want foot or nookie?" This made me feel a little freakish, but that is just something that we have to live with. Most of us are hard-wired to be sexually turned on by ticking feet and that most likely will never change. It does make for a complicated life unless you hook up with someone with a similar fetish. The ideal would be to hook up with a woman who has a fetish for having her feet tickled, but they don't come along every day. Most of us have to find a way of coping with straight women, hoping that they will accept our situation. I suspect that most of us spend a lot of time masturbating to foot tickling clips, however.

 

[VERNON1973]

Welcome the club. I have had a foot tickling fetish since my earliest memory and have lived through every imaginable embarrassing situation...especially before the Internet when each of us felt like we were the only ones in the world with this fetish. At least there is comfort in knowing that you are not alone. In my experience, having a tickling fetish has been like being something of a schizophrenic or a bisexual. I am completely hetero, so I have always been able to have straight sex, but at the same time it is not completely satisfying. I would much rather put a girl's bare feet on my chest and tickle her soles while her toes curl and spread while she gives me a handjob. The orgasm that I get from this is mind-blowing. But, it is a hard sell to a 'normal' woman. Like many have said, honesty is the best policy. If you meet a girl that you want to have a relationship with it is best to 'bite the bullet' and 'fess up in regard to your sexuality as soon as it is convenient. If she has a problem with it you can move on and no one gets too badly hurt. If you do the cowardly thing and form a relationship and then try to reveal the true nature of your sexuality, things can be much worse. She may accept it because she likes you, but down deep she will probably be disappointed or conflicted. For instance, I told a girlfriend that I was deeply involved with about my fetish, and she said, "Now you tell me". She went along with it, but never understood it. Basically, she saw me as something of a bisexual. When we were in bed she would say things like, "Do you want foot or nookie?" This made me feel a little freakish, but that is just something that we have to live with. Most of us are hard-wired to be sexually turned on by ticking feet and that most likely will never change. It does make for a complicated life unless you hook up with someone with a similar fetish. The ideal would be to hook up with a woman who has a fetish for having her feet tickled, but they don't come along every day. Most of us have to find a way of coping with straight women, hoping that they will accept our situation. I suspect that most of us spend a lot of time masturbating to foot tickling clips, however.

Right on mustang!! Well said!! All above is true for me!! Luckily I have now found a girl who I have told early on and although she doesn't get turned on being tickled , she wants to understand. I said she may find it very hard to understand if she doesn't like being tickled or tickling but our sex life is GREAT in it's own right and we mix up regular sex with me being able to look and touch her feet and tickle a bit in fore play!! I think she enjoyes tickling me a bit but still early days.