HeavenlyTickle
1st Level Red Feather
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2006
- Messages
- 1,179
- Points
- 0
High school students wrote these in some timed essays. Just thought I'd add some school humour on here since a lot of people are stressed out with exams right now.
-Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
-His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
-He spoke with wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
-She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli and he was a room temperature Canadian Beef.
-She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like the sound a dog makes before it throws up.
-Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
-He was as tall as a six-foot-three inch tree.
-The revelation that his marriage of 20 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge, at a formerly surcharge free ATM.
-The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
-Mc Bride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
-From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation at another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00pm instead of 7:30.
-Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
-The hailstones leapt from the pavement, like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
-Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains; one having left Cleveland at 6:36 pm traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 pm at 35 mph.
-They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
-Joe and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
-He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.
-Even in his last years, Grand pappy has a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
-This plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil this plan just might work.
-The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
-“Oh, Jason, take me!” she panted, her breasts heaved like a college freshman on a $1-a-beer night.
-He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a landmine or something.
-The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
-It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids with powertools.
-He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
-She was as easy as the TV guide crossword.
-Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.
-She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
-It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to a wall.
-Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
-His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
-He spoke with wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
-She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli and he was a room temperature Canadian Beef.
-She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like the sound a dog makes before it throws up.
-Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
-He was as tall as a six-foot-three inch tree.
-The revelation that his marriage of 20 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge, at a formerly surcharge free ATM.
-The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
-Mc Bride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
-From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation at another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00pm instead of 7:30.
-Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
-The hailstones leapt from the pavement, like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
-Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains; one having left Cleveland at 6:36 pm traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 pm at 35 mph.
-They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
-Joe and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
-He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.
-Even in his last years, Grand pappy has a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
-This plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil this plan just might work.
-The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
-“Oh, Jason, take me!” she panted, her breasts heaved like a college freshman on a $1-a-beer night.
-He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a landmine or something.
-The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
-It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids with powertools.
-He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
-She was as easy as the TV guide crossword.
-Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.
-She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
-It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to a wall.
She always tips me a twenty..... 
