Why , we all need to except things as they feel right to us . Your trying to understand what you find to your dislike , and I'm happy for you . Time will allow you to grow a liking or disliking , but all the same your thought's and feelings are allowed to you . I hope you find the understanding your searching for .
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Screw This Fetish
- Thread starter Dirkman
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Mr.Tickler
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You just compared this fetish with anorexia YOU had, alcoholism, & whoring.Then you take satisfction in that your bf gets sick physically to change for your selfish,totally unworthy ass.Then you call me deluded & say I'm full of shit...and after all that bile you then have the audacity credit yourself with having any semblence of SOCIAL CONDUCT? Nuff' said.
does this comparison hold up?
One can say "I wish I didn't have this fetish because then it would be easier to find girls/guys."
I can't be attracted to a guy who isn't very intelligent and able to have a good conversation, so can I say "I wish I liked dumb guys so it would be easier to find a guy"?
We all have things we want and need in a partner. The less of them we have, the easier it is to find a partner. I'd also argue that the less of them we have, the less interesting our relationships are.
One can say "I wish I didn't have this fetish because then it would be easier to find girls/guys."
I can't be attracted to a guy who isn't very intelligent and able to have a good conversation, so can I say "I wish I liked dumb guys so it would be easier to find a guy"?
We all have things we want and need in a partner. The less of them we have, the easier it is to find a partner. I'd also argue that the less of them we have, the less interesting our relationships are.
Mr.Tickler said:
no if u could actually read rationally you would realise that i got sick...physically from tickling. ive had coughin fits, IVE been physically distressed to try and understand this fetish
you said this is a natural thing so why cant it be controlled by other things which are natural like alcoholism or eating disorders?
i naturally like tall, dark haired, intelligent guys, but my bf is blonde, shorter than me and im doing a phd where as he hasnt got the tolerance or patients for one...so please mr tickle, tell me...where is the justice in compromise if its one way? how am i being selfish by sacrificing my own physical comfort...i think you need to take some literary courses to understand the written word to a fuller degree
If you don't like it tell him. If he won't listen leave him. And most importantly, if you already know you will never understand this "fetish" (more like a passion) ... Then there really is no point in coming here just to shake things up.
Thats the easy solution, minus all the highschool drama.
Thats the easy solution, minus all the highschool drama.
you see, as some people can vouch, i have come here to try and rationally talk about things and some people have attempted to help and have been supportive. however its just the one sided views from people like mr tickle that have caused me issues and made me shake things up.
i have talked to him and we're sorting it out and i feel terrible because it seems to be more to my leaning and i dont want that, but unfortunately, from experiences on here, ive wanted to understand it less and get rid of it to be honest..this doesnt seem to be a good enviornment to talk about the pros and cons...just the pros, ignoring that its rare and not as widely accepted as you wish
honestly, i wanted to try and make it more about him and his "needs" but this place has just made me wonder if its really worth it and if he'll turn into some kind of freak
i have talked to him and we're sorting it out and i feel terrible because it seems to be more to my leaning and i dont want that, but unfortunately, from experiences on here, ive wanted to understand it less and get rid of it to be honest..this doesnt seem to be a good enviornment to talk about the pros and cons...just the pros, ignoring that its rare and not as widely accepted as you wish
honestly, i wanted to try and make it more about him and his "needs" but this place has just made me wonder if its really worth it and if he'll turn into some kind of freak
Mr.Tickler
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This is what you posted: "my boyfriend actually feels ashamed and physicaly sick when he thinks about what he used to do"
Maybe you should take some courses in honesty, though unfortunately that's not always something that can be learned, Why.This is my last comment on this matter, but if you are truly coming on here in a state of curiosity to learn due to lack of understanding & to improve whatever misconceptions you may have, I haven't picked up on it yet.What I'm sure most have gotten so far is almost a pompous monologue by you of what is & isn't right sexually,& how if one in any way differs with you on the subject that they are part of the problem.It would make it A LOT easier for others to try & answer your questions & even easier for yuorself, if you were not so critical & insulting once you encounter something that confuses you.I think you took a big step by coming on here & trying to learn, but you've gotta open up a little.I spent a lot of my life being confused about having the fetish, & ya know what...I'm still learning.
Maybe you should take some courses in honesty, though unfortunately that's not always something that can be learned, Why.This is my last comment on this matter, but if you are truly coming on here in a state of curiosity to learn due to lack of understanding & to improve whatever misconceptions you may have, I haven't picked up on it yet.What I'm sure most have gotten so far is almost a pompous monologue by you of what is & isn't right sexually,& how if one in any way differs with you on the subject that they are part of the problem.It would make it A LOT easier for others to try & answer your questions & even easier for yuorself, if you were not so critical & insulting once you encounter something that confuses you.I think you took a big step by coming on here & trying to learn, but you've gotta open up a little.I spent a lot of my life being confused about having the fetish, & ya know what...I'm still learning.
ive only become pompous due to reactions like yours. he has had the feeling of physical ashamedness as he feels terrible that previously he used this source of what i guess u can call "entertainment" to relieve himself. however, it is i who have suffered the most physically...i have thrown up because hes pushed the mark, i have been tickled so much ive coughed for minutes and yet i still try to accomodate him and learn about it
you see, its people like you who try not to see a non tickler/lee point of view that make me angry. i have come here to get my point across as delicately as i can and try to get answers to questions, but no...u took a defensive stand point completely discounting what its like to be a partner of this sort of fetish which is terribly disliked and misunderstood and yet desperately tryin everything to save the relationship!
and i have a masters in literature and as i say, doin a phd soon so please do not question my intelligence
you see, its people like you who try not to see a non tickler/lee point of view that make me angry. i have come here to get my point across as delicately as i can and try to get answers to questions, but no...u took a defensive stand point completely discounting what its like to be a partner of this sort of fetish which is terribly disliked and misunderstood and yet desperately tryin everything to save the relationship!
and i have a masters in literature and as i say, doin a phd soon so please do not question my intelligence
I realize this has turned into an extremely heated discussion, and I dont want to stir the pot any further. That being said, I do have some important views on this subject, so here they are.
I live my life according to one motto, whether it be TMF, or any other area of my life. If something does not directly affect, hurt, or harm, me or a loved one, I do not pass judgement on how another lives their life, because, how someone else lives their life, does not affect me, and everyone has a right to their own self determination. I have a friend whose mother is constantly shooting her mouth off, and judging everyone in the world, even if their actions are not affecting her, and she has offended everyone in her life, including me. That being said, here is my real point.
All of us who have the tickle fetish, and enjoy tickling, or being tickled, do not really understand what it is like to be in why's shoes. We have not been subjected to a fetish we hate, and become physically ill from such fetish. As such, it is really difficult for us to understand, and to put ourselves in why's shoes. If we were not into tickling, and a sex partner who was supposed to love and care about us, tickled us until we were ill, I am certain we would not like it either.
I do hope that why can sort things out with her boyfriend. For us, as we enjoy tickling, it is easy to understand because we all have something in common, but, to an outsider, who does not understand what sex turn on we get from tying up or tickling others, or other fetishes that may be represented on here, to them this is unusual. It does not make us bad for liking the fetish, or why a bad person for hating to be tickled, and not understanding it. We just have different views. I, for one, always believe in reconciliation and compromise, so I hope why can iron things out with her boyfriend. Good Luck, why, and hopefully at least some of the feedback you have gotten here has been helpful, even if you dont understand or agree with everything that was said.
Mitch
I live my life according to one motto, whether it be TMF, or any other area of my life. If something does not directly affect, hurt, or harm, me or a loved one, I do not pass judgement on how another lives their life, because, how someone else lives their life, does not affect me, and everyone has a right to their own self determination. I have a friend whose mother is constantly shooting her mouth off, and judging everyone in the world, even if their actions are not affecting her, and she has offended everyone in her life, including me. That being said, here is my real point.
All of us who have the tickle fetish, and enjoy tickling, or being tickled, do not really understand what it is like to be in why's shoes. We have not been subjected to a fetish we hate, and become physically ill from such fetish. As such, it is really difficult for us to understand, and to put ourselves in why's shoes. If we were not into tickling, and a sex partner who was supposed to love and care about us, tickled us until we were ill, I am certain we would not like it either.
I do hope that why can sort things out with her boyfriend. For us, as we enjoy tickling, it is easy to understand because we all have something in common, but, to an outsider, who does not understand what sex turn on we get from tying up or tickling others, or other fetishes that may be represented on here, to them this is unusual. It does not make us bad for liking the fetish, or why a bad person for hating to be tickled, and not understanding it. We just have different views. I, for one, always believe in reconciliation and compromise, so I hope why can iron things out with her boyfriend. Good Luck, why, and hopefully at least some of the feedback you have gotten here has been helpful, even if you dont understand or agree with everything that was said.
Mitch
thank you mitch...you have been one of the most helpful people on here.
ive tried not to make it a personal attack, but as this thread has been posed as a question about relationships and the oposing views in a relationship according to tickling...i think i have every right to comment.
i did come here to try and accept it more and maybe even want to try it in different ways so i dont dislike it so much but some hostile peopel have stunted that.
again, thank you to mitch and those who have been accepting of my situation and understanding enough to talk to me about it and attempt to help me
ive tried not to make it a personal attack, but as this thread has been posed as a question about relationships and the oposing views in a relationship according to tickling...i think i have every right to comment.
i did come here to try and accept it more and maybe even want to try it in different ways so i dont dislike it so much but some hostile peopel have stunted that.
again, thank you to mitch and those who have been accepting of my situation and understanding enough to talk to me about it and attempt to help me
You're welcome, why, glad I could help. What you told me in PM sounds very reasonable to me, but I wont divulge our conversation on here, out of privacy to you. If you would care to post it, then go ahead. I can tell you, guys, without going into specifics, that what she told me in PM is very reasonable for someone who doesnt like our fetish, in my view.
Mitch
Mitch
well to get my point across and to show im not just here to ruffle feathers, i have decided to post one of the messages i sent to mitch:
"to be honest, previously i just wanted to get it cut down because not only did it turn me off, it made me embarrassed and as ive said before, ill. i wouldnt mind it a couple times a week but makin me feel like its the only way i can satisfy him?! wrong! but now, after people reactions like mr tickles, its made my opinion even more confused and irrate at this fetish! hes been personally bashing me even tho ive been tryin to show understanding and a want for knowlege attempting to help...but no..i get called a freak for not liking it and having opinions about it"
i never came here to offend anyone...i came here to prevent the offence i was feeling and previous offences that were put upon me both through this forum and through my own privacy...however, unfortunately, the majority has managed to degrade my thoughts on this more, its only the few like mitch who have helped me...
"to be honest, previously i just wanted to get it cut down because not only did it turn me off, it made me embarrassed and as ive said before, ill. i wouldnt mind it a couple times a week but makin me feel like its the only way i can satisfy him?! wrong! but now, after people reactions like mr tickles, its made my opinion even more confused and irrate at this fetish! hes been personally bashing me even tho ive been tryin to show understanding and a want for knowlege attempting to help...but no..i get called a freak for not liking it and having opinions about it"
i never came here to offend anyone...i came here to prevent the offence i was feeling and previous offences that were put upon me both through this forum and through my own privacy...however, unfortunately, the majority has managed to degrade my thoughts on this more, its only the few like mitch who have helped me...
Mr.Tickler
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I wasn't going to comment further, but I gotta tell you my BS guage is fairly sharp. If you can dig up any post where I called you a freak,please do so.It didn't happen.I don't know about your phd for intelligence, but you clearly have a problem telling the truth & putting words in others mouthes.You also come across as a person who can't stand being corrected or or questioned on ANYTHING.The words I used to describe your remarks were pompous, critical, & insulting.And rightfully so.I also said you enjoy victimizing yourself.....and you've already demonstrated that by your last couple of posts. Look, I don't know what abuse you had at the hands of your bf, and I wish you all the luck in the world.I don't know what your issue is, but you seem to flatter yourself with calling other people names, denying comments you posted, and then playing innocent after you throw out some totally unfounded remarks, never once correcting yourself despite your self-proclaimed social conduct.
im sorry you practically have called me a freak for not understanding and no it hasnt just been you. but to get such a reaction from sayin "not everyone likes this, not everyone understands it, not everyone thinks its normal" in ways that are easily understood and relatable, why should that be thought of as pompous?! u dont know my situation, like u dont know about any other persons on here...i dont like victimising myself but if it will make people like you understand where im comin from so i dont seem like a monster who is totally against this then i will portray myself as one...i didnt come here to turn this into a personal slanging match...its what has occured due to ur hostile view against any oposition to ur views...i have said throughout that i want to understand it and TRY to change my opinions of it but youve just made it worse
Mr.Tickler
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I have no problems with someone saying they don't understand it, don't get it, don't think its normal, etc.You don't think this being a fetish-forum and all,that guys like myself & others already know its not deemed mainstream or "normal"? But that is not how you said it.It is only when you drew the comparisons to anorexia,alcohol abuse,and prostitution that I took issue.If you said that out of ignorance or lack of comprehension regarding the subject matter, that's one thing.But you never corrected that mistake,and instead claimed people were "bashing" you & making you more "irritated" with the fetish, when in reality you were just being corrected on the false correlation.
ok i can see why you say that, but to someone like me and many others, this is the same thing. youve all said its a natural want, natural need, natural feeling and is that so different from alcoholism? im sayin that as someone who doesnt know?but that is what i have correlated from people who are so into it and how people have presented it. the same way in which u think i am wrong in my views, which they may be but they are my opinion and how i have related them to other matters, i think some of yours are wrong. its a natural thing to disagree especially as we've both had such different experiencea of them and enjoyment or horror
ShadowTklr
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I shall dare, my dear, to endeavor to dare, at least, to inform and to opine as to the reasons why you lie.why? said:
YOU said you WANTED to understand. Either you're a liar, or you just don't know the meaning of the word understand. If you really need me to start reposting your own quotes from other posts to show your hypocrisy and double speak, I'll be happy to oblige. But, please remember that you said you wanted to understand, so I do dare to try and help you with that, as a few of us have done.
There you go again, lying about your desire to understand. What is it with you? You don't like the truth, so you dismiss it, and then invent your own version of it and then cram it down your own throat until it makes sense to only you? Several people on here with a helluva lot more insight than you, have already made some very salient points that were geared toward helping you "understand." But this just doesn't seem to be good enough for you, because you don't ask any follow up questions. You just keep espousing the same tired confrontational bullshit you started with. Perhaps its time for you to get a life, and stop presuming to tell us about ours.
A solution to what? You're a liar, you're arrogant, and you've proven that you can't even remain consistent with your own line of shit. I've got more experience and education in this "situation" than you could possibly hope to compete with. I'm not asking your opinion about this. I already live this! It's obvious that on this subject, you can't find your own ass with a GPS and a Sherpa, but yet you continue to denigrate those who originally tried to help you.
Mr.Tickler
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why? said:
I think it is different than alcohol addiction due to the fact a lifelong psychosexual fetish is a part of our sexual mindset, alcoholism is a substance abuse problem that is not a natural function like sex.The fetish is natural to the fetish, but to the majority like yourself it isn't natural.I have had it all my life,& like anything else there are probably varying degrees.Some people have a sexual arousal after lighting fires,..literally,...I would call that an issue.And others get off on other things.If someone isn't enjoying something with me erotically, than my enjoyment can't work.For some though, they are sadistic & they like that sort of thing.
Mr.Tickler said:
The same goes for me...I can't have fun unless the other person is having fun...I explained to her in a PM how someone who HATES to be tickled can actually enjoy it if it's done right. I also noted her bf's problem is most likely that he's been allowed to ABUSE her wit it for so long that he's gotten accustomed to it. It's not irreversible but will take some work between them. Honestly I hope people can understand where she's coming from--this girl has actually thrown up from being tickled so much--THATS A PROBLEM. Her situation differs from many of those who have posted her (most likely), and as such, I can understand why some people are having trouble relating with her and why she's having trouble relating with you all.
ok...you obviously havent been hurt by this and as people can tell you, people who have actually addressed me in a calm helpful manner in my own thread and in pms, i have been accepting of the help and asked questions...this was someone elses thread about wanting to give up a fetish because of the problems it causes and i dont want to sugar coat the fact that it will be easy to find the perfect girl who is also a tickle fan because its not entirely likely!
and yes, this forum does cause a problem...i almost broke up with my bf because of things that either he said on here, what people have told me and how obsessive he became with it. i have also shown this site to people who dont know my bf but are close friends of mine. when i first said that ticklinf was the fetish they thought it wasnt bad until they came on here and now they think its grotesque and dont want anyone to touch them like that again.
you havent been in my situation AND you understand me about the same amount as i understand you...but at least i have tried to accomodate something i hate as you would hate to irradicate tickling from ur life.
and you shouldnt dare because i have tried to understand, as ive tried to make the point of nonticklers understand but at least when first approached by a supportive ear...as i did first start posting not only on this webste but on this thread...i react in a polite and rational manner.
you are just rude and have no consideration for the fact that people can be emotionally and physically hurt from this.
im just sorry people like you paint such a bad light on this fetish because people like mitch have helped me understand it so much more rather than make me hate it and fear my bf will turn into someone soooooo obsessed he chooses it over me
and yes, this forum does cause a problem...i almost broke up with my bf because of things that either he said on here, what people have told me and how obsessive he became with it. i have also shown this site to people who dont know my bf but are close friends of mine. when i first said that ticklinf was the fetish they thought it wasnt bad until they came on here and now they think its grotesque and dont want anyone to touch them like that again.
you havent been in my situation AND you understand me about the same amount as i understand you...but at least i have tried to accomodate something i hate as you would hate to irradicate tickling from ur life.
and you shouldnt dare because i have tried to understand, as ive tried to make the point of nonticklers understand but at least when first approached by a supportive ear...as i did first start posting not only on this webste but on this thread...i react in a polite and rational manner.
you are just rude and have no consideration for the fact that people can be emotionally and physically hurt from this.
im just sorry people like you paint such a bad light on this fetish because people like mitch have helped me understand it so much more rather than make me hate it and fear my bf will turn into someone soooooo obsessed he chooses it over me
i just wanted to say thank you again to mitch, kitten toes, j. and nyvice plus others in my other thread for actually taking the time and considering what i wrote and how ive been feeling about this and how daunting and scary this fetish can be if compromises cant be met and if a mutual understanding isnt there.
you have really helped me and i hope that i can use ur advice to improve if not completely save my relationship...if not...i'll take ur alternative advice kitten toes lol.
thank you again...you've made me have hope rather than the more hardcore defensive responses ive had. ive really needed people like you
i wish you all well
you have really helped me and i hope that i can use ur advice to improve if not completely save my relationship...if not...i'll take ur alternative advice kitten toes lol.
thank you again...you've made me have hope rather than the more hardcore defensive responses ive had. ive really needed people like you
i wish you all well
Mr.Tickler
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ShadowTklr said:
LMAO.Not understanding a fetish doesn't explain repeated dishonesty,unless you have a fetish for lying? Sorry, but as much as I don't know what bad experiences this lady has had,..there's some other deep-rooted shit going on with her.The obsession is coming from her.
why? said:
You're very welcome. And believe me...nobody here meant any harm to you in this thread. People have many different varying degrees of this fetish, and as you can see the people who care about it the most are generally the most defensive. I know you didn't mean to insult them, and they certainly aren't meaning to demean you...this was a matter of people not being able to relate based upon experience, and I think that you'll get some very good feedback from everyone you're talking to now and even some more when they cool down. It's obvious you are trying to work with your bf and that shows a lot of love. Believe me it can work...and if he ends up not being able to control himself when you tell him what you can and can't handle, then it really is time to leave. His being satisfied can't mean you're being abused. That's really what this all comes down to. If he needs a tickle "slave" or whatever he's after, he needs to find that in someone else.
