Seeking advice on using the Internet to meet tickle fans for play

[GoForTheLaugh]

My close friend has been a close friend indeed!

He knows about my interest in tickling even though he does not share it, and he helped me find a meetup site on which people can list fetishes among interests. One of the boxes that can be checked is... tickling! There are a surprisingly large number of guys here in New York who listed it, too. Santa came early this year.

The site can also be used for friendship without sex, which is why I am comfortable with it. I would also be fine meeting like-minded people without any play.

Now I have to be even more honest. Even though I am only in my 30s, I am not a big Internet fan. Until fairly recently (as in this year), I used to roll my eyes at the "desperate" people who used the Internet to meet others. I am an average-looking guy with average self-confidence, and my dates are always people I already know or friends know. But, since I have no other ideas on how to meet guys interested in tickling, how the mighty have fallen.

Yes, GoForTheLaugh has been humbled and, despite his occasional bouts of self-righteousness, he asks the next question with due humility.

What do I do now? The obvious thing is not to give too much personal information and to meet a guy in a public place. Then what? I have never done the sexual equivalent (a one night stand), so I have no idea. I do not have to be in a relationship to have sex, but I do have to know the person somewhat well.

I think of tickling, and my self-confidence crumbles. It is such a weird thing to ask for!

That is where I am in my fetish development, not nearly as advanced as most on this board. Wish I could lie and say otherwise, but I joined this board to figure it out.

Any advice, no matter your experience, sex, or sexual orientation, will be greatly appreciated. Only fellow tickle fans can help with this one!

 

[luvn2laf]

Hmmm... good questions! I assume the site you found allows you to chat with people via e-mail first. You want to know your own comfort level, but it's also important to recognize the comfort level of the other person. Going back and forth via e-mail can give more freedom to explore likes and dislikes and expectations. Why not put the ball in the other person's court and ask what they would like to see happen when you get together? It is likely to be different with everyone.

 

[Tcklsh_Kandy]

Hmmm... good questions! I assume the site you found allows you to chat with people via e-mail first. You want to know your own comfort level, but it's also important to recognize the comfort level of the other person. Going back and forth via e-mail can give more freedom to explore likes and dislikes and expectations. Why not put the ball in the other person's court and ask what they would like to see happen when you get together? It is likely to be different with everyone.

I have to agree . Get to know the person first . There is no law that says you have to have a tickling (and/or sexual situation ) the first time you meet.

 

[steph]

Hi Babe...You might shoot a note to moderator Mimikins~about a year or so ago, she and Mgctouch put together a neat thread about how to meet and play. She might be able to find it for you~some really great tips there. Good luck!
XOXO

 

[maniactickler]

Ive found it incredibly hard to meet a woman for tickling. even local woman are pressed to be even remotely interested. i think most women into tickling would rather just talk or have fantasies about it, not actually meet.

 

[Newcastle Uni]

This is my take on meeting someone to tickle. Women and girls tend to be rather 'freaked out' (to be perfectly frank) about meeting some random guy with an unhealthy and obsessive interest in tickling. It is also my observation that almost every girl enjoys being tickled - although rather few enjoy the kind of tickling that will lead to laughter, or at least few like that type of tickling occurring too long or being too intense.
My advice would be this.

If you are just looking for a girl to tickle, go on to the internet, look for an escort service in your area, ring them up and explain what you want. This will presumably cost between $100-$400 depedning on how long you want etc. I cannot imagine this will truly 'satisfy' you, although you will certainly get to tickle a very ticklish girl who looks like your ideal girl.

If you actually prefer something more meaningful, fun and enjoyable, why not go out and try to meet a girl. Don't even mention tickling to her, but just enjoy her company. Over successive dates you will get plenty of chances to tickle her. Although you will more importantly enjoy the company of a wonderful and unique person who actually wants to be with you because she likes you and not because it is her job.

 

[GoForTheLaugh]

Thanks to everyone for great suggestions!

Yes, luvn2lf (great screen name!) and Tcklsh_Kandy (ditto!), one can chat first--and that is exactly what I would do (if I work up the guts to contact someone). I have looked at a few profiles, and as soon as I see, um, group sex and water sports, I click off. Yikes! Whatever happened to good old-fashioned tickling? Hee hee 😀

steph: I'll ask mimi to post the link here. Thank you sooooooooooooooooo much, hon. Great suggestion!

Newcastle Uni: If someone just wants to be tickled, your advice is sound. But if someone wants to know that it was as much fun for the other person as it was for him/her, it might not be the best option. I am good friends with a female sex worker, and I know an older guy who, decades ago, was a male sex worker (before Stonewall). Paying customers are just business; my friends enjoy sex or play only when it is with someone they choose to be with. Neither sex nor tickling could ever be a business deal for me.

 

[ericr]

I have met tickle enthusiasts on line and later met for mutual tickling. You can get to know a person pretty well on line but I advise getting to know them in person ,if just for and hour or two, before actually participating in a tickling event. I liked one person very much on line but not in person; it was a one time meeting for that reason. Other on line contacts have worked out and become friends on other bases as well as an interest in tickilng. Would you be willing to share the meetup site with us.

 

[GoForTheLaugh]

Would you be willing to share the meetup site with us.

It is a meetup site for friendship, penpals, meeting friends in overseas destinations, sex, or kinks, but it is exclusively for gay and bisexual males. (Lesbians and bisexual women sign in as such and use the sister site. The two sites are also open to the trans community.) I don't think that is what any of you are looking for, as there is no way to identify as heterosexual. Sorry, ericr. I thought that was obvious in my post. I mean, where else would I be looking?

 

[Mimi]

Somebody beckoned?? 😀

I PRAY this is the thread Steph is referring to, as I know there are a few that have touched on the subject...

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?t=40546

If this isn't the right one steph, let me know and I'll try tracking the correct one down!

Mimi 😉

 

[steph]

That's the one Meems! It seemed worth recycling, so much good advice!

And you're welcome GFTL, hope you find it useful!
XOXO

 

[GoForTheLaugh]

Thank you, mimi and steph. Great thread!

It told me what I pretty much expected about caution and taking it slow. Clearly, if there is to be any play in my life, it is in the distant future. I am also being realistic in that I may never engage in tickle play.

Or, maybe I will get lucky as I did more than once when I was younger and date a guy who is O.K. with light tickling as long as it does not get carried away. (Do people suddenly hate tickling when they hit their 30s? I know that is not true, but there seemed to be more guys unopposed to it before I tacked a 3 onto the beginning of my age.)

 

[GoForTheLaugh]

I thank everyone for so much excellent input.

Upon evaluating what all of you posted and what my heart tells me, I have decided that the site in question is not a valid option for me. No site is.

Heterosexual ticklephiles living in New York are lucky; this board is a goldmine. If there were some gay guys in the area whom I could meet through the board--and,of course, get to know very well in person first--then maybe (emphasis on maybe) that would be an option. Since there is only one other gay guy on this board (or at least only one other gay guy willing to be open), this board is not an option either.

I just have to go back to my roots. I dated a couple of guys who were O.K. with a small amount of tickle foreplay in the past, and maybe I will get lucky again. If not, then perhaps I will simply never have tickle play again. That is sad, of course, but at least sex is still very real in my life. Human contact is the big issues, and I would never be able to give that up.

I'll remain optimistic. I don't know what the future holds.

 

[WorkInProgress]

I say, check off "tickling" and check off "friendship," and then see if you hear from some guys you can make friends with. If nothing else, maybe one or more of them will come with you to that artistic arena in New York where you most recently saw me in person. But as you get to know a few people, maybe there'll be a bonus round of the cootchie-cootchie-coo variety. Since it isn't your style to rush into things sight unseen or go for one-night stands, that would seem to be the approach that fits. Good luck.

 

[AquaFeline]

I thank everyone for so much excellent input.

Upon evaluating what all of you posted and what my heart tells me, I have decided that the site in question is not a valid option for me. No site is.

Why, oh why? Nobody says that just because you meet them on a fetish board you have to go home together the second time you meet. Go on as many dates as you need to feel comfortable. Be clear in your profile that you're not looking for a one night stand -- you want someone you can be friends with even if you're not actually dating.

May I suggest alt.com if you haven't tried it already? They have a large user base and while they try to shove the pay services down your throat you don't have to use them. They have a check-list that includes tickling.

Also, just because a person has kinks you aren't interested in, that doesn't mean you have to engage in them. As long as you have tickling as an overlap that should be sufficient.

 

[GoForTheLaugh]

Thank you, WorkInProgress and AquaFeline. I really, really appreciate your posts. 🙂

"Why, oh why?" you ask. It just feels weird. The people I have briefly tickled are/were folks I know/knew well. I have a lot of good memories, but in terms of the hard core stuff I read here, I am a tickle virgin. And I'm not even ticklish myself, sadly, however much I long to be. Just being honest.

I am average looking and I can get dates. WorkInProgress and one other person here have met me in person, and two people on this site whom I have been corresponding with have seen my photo via e-mail. They know I hardly look like a ghoul. 😀 (No, I am not going to post a photo on the TMF photo forum or on the site in question. Yes, the four folks who know what I look like are heterosexual, but there are too many homophobes here, and I don't want them to know who I am.)

I have the same fears as the next guy, but when I like a man (something that does not happen often), I will indeed go after him. My self-confidence is average, too.

But put me in the same situation with tickling, and I am like a kid in junior high school who is too embarrased to ask out the pretty classmate he likes.

I can ask for sex, but I just can't bring myself to ask if I can tickle someone. In the past, I never realized what my tickle passion was, and it did not seem like a big deal. So I sometimes poked a few friends in the ribs to make them jump; so I sometimes tickled a guy for a few seconds during foreplay. That's all it has ever been.

Yes, I have fantasized about more. I won't lie about it.

But it's not like I can get together with someone for five seconds of teenage-style tickling and then be done. If I agree to 'play' with someone, it will be the big thing I read about here.

And is that what I want? Is this kink real? I just don't know.

 

[WorkInProgress]

I still say, in the starting round, GoForTheFriendship. The thing is, once you've met, once you've gotten in that front door of being acquainted, then the relationship can take what playful course it may, and if you've both checked off tickling as an interest, why not? And by all means, when you're at that stage, see if you can interest the other guy in a tickling session that could make the earth shake. Once you're there, you should definitely get a gauge of how much of a tickling kink you really have.