Seeking that intense but loving/gentle F/M tickling dynamic – anyone else crave this over the dominant/humiliating style?

[nick50]

Long-time lurker here, finally posting because I’ve been thinking a lot about what really draws me to tickling as a male ’lee.


I absolutely love being tickled – and I mean intensely. The kind where it’s relentless, torturous, pushes me to the edge until I’m laughing uncontrollably, losing my mind, and getting that huge endorphin rush from just letting go completely. It’s cathartic and amazing.


But here’s the thing: I have zero interest in the submissive/bottom dynamic that seems to dominate (pun intended) most F/M content and sessions out there. I don’t want humiliation, verbal put-downs, being called names, or anything that makes me feel emasculated or like some “bitch/cuck.” I’m a grown man who wants to keep my masculinity intact – the tickling is about the physical sensation and release, not power exchange or degradation.


What I fantasize about is a warm, nurturing, loving approach from the ‘ler. Like she’s genuinely affectionate – cooing softly, giving little kisses, reassuring me “it’s okay, I’ve got you” or “you’re doing so good” while she absolutely wrecks me with the tickling. Almost a maternal, caring vibe where the intensity comes from love and playfulness, not dominance.


Unfortunately, pretty much every pro session I’ve looked into and every F/M clip I can find leans heavily into the mean/dommy/humiliating side. It’s frustrating because that just kills it for me.


Anyone else out there (lees or lers) feel the same? Prefer the gentle/loving style even when the tickling itself is brutal? Or know of any content/creators that lean more this way? Curious if I’m in the minority here.

 

[WickedTouch]

Long-time lurker here, finally posting because I’ve been thinking a lot about what really draws me to tickling as a male ’lee.


I absolutely love being tickled – and I mean intensely. The kind where it’s relentless, torturous, pushes me to the edge until I’m laughing uncontrollably, losing my mind, and getting that huge endorphin rush from just letting go completely. It’s cathartic and amazing.


But here’s the thing: I have zero interest in the submissive/bottom dynamic that seems to dominate (pun intended) most F/M content and sessions out there. I don’t want humiliation, verbal put-downs, being called names, or anything that makes me feel emasculated or like some “bitch/cuck.” I’m a grown man who wants to keep my masculinity intact – the tickling is about the physical sensation and release, not power exchange or degradation.


What I fantasize about is a warm, nurturing, loving approach from the ‘ler. Like she’s genuinely affectionate – cooing softly, giving little kisses, reassuring me “it’s okay, I’ve got you” or “you’re doing so good” while she absolutely wrecks me with the tickling. Almost a maternal, caring vibe where the intensity comes from love and playfulness, not dominance.


Unfortunately, pretty much every pro session I’ve looked into and every F/M clip I can find leans heavily into the mean/dommy/humiliating side. It’s frustrating because that just kills it for me.


Anyone else out there (lees or lers) feel the same? Prefer the gentle/loving style even when the tickling itself is brutal? Or know of any content/creators that lean more this way? Curious if I’m in the minority here.

I do have a love for certain elements of dom-sub dynamics, but I am not into degradation or humiliation much at all (maybe a bit of subtle embarrassment can be fun sometimes, though). I don't mind a sense of power exchange as long as it doesn't look like outright belittling or disrespectful behavior. Unfortunately, for the purposes of my personal engagement,, that has become quite a popular co-fetish for many. Terms in the kink world are continually evolving and many are not so precisely defined, but you sound like you are somewhat into the soft dom or pleasure dom types. Again, there's different manifestations of those, but that's what comes to mind when I read your post. I personally am into those types, am most especially a version where they are a seemingly paradoxical cruel, though very sweet-mannered, woman. I'm actually writing out my thoughts on that particular preference of mine, which will probably become a short blog post soon, so it's a little serendipitous that it came up just now.

 

[Grad]

There's a line. Thing is that ticklee and tickler is an inherent top and bottom activity, which is not necessarily D/s. Ex. PIV intercourse is a top and bottom activity but not inherently D/s.

Like you, I'm not into being demeaned or humiliated when I am the lee. But definitely enjoy elements of teasing and toying. Pleasure in knowing the Ler is absolutely enjoying herself and not just doing it to appease a kink/fetish. Doesn't have to be all the time in an encounter. I sure can understand what you're saying that you crave the physical frenzy of what ticklish sensations cause and want to feel that without your ego or masculinity involved in any way. I really like that concept overall and I definitely can understand the frustration of F-M tickling media severely lacking for that.

The shortest way I can say it is that the male verbal response to prolonged tickling is unlike any other behavior or response (save for maybe post-orgasm torture or Gitmo stuff which doesn’t count). We’re almost universally accustomed to unbridled responses from women to things like being startled or tickled. So when males produce that response, it is seen as out of ‘male character’, hence, an aura of ‘emasculation’, or ‘unmanliness’.

So it’s either the male ticklee ticklephile who experiences enough play to internally normalize… OR… what is more often the case, there is a mutual or side/co-kink of submission which can be a perfect marriage for F/m tickle play. And part of the appeal of submission for males is the alleviation of all responsibility of innate ego masking. Square hole for the square peg in a world of round holes. And that’s why most F/m tickle focused media has that context.
The problem with any fetish/kink media is balance (the lack of). That’s because the media isn’t designed for reality, but fantasy.

It does stink and I wish for all fetish/kink media that it was much more balanced.

 

[Jezebel Lee]

Why not commission something? You’re most definitely not alone in your tastes, but the reason why Femdom is so popular is because men literally pay for it. I’d be more than happy to create gentle style F/M but damn, I’d need at least some incentive. People don’t seem to realise the amount of time and effort that goes into these things. It’s emotional and physical labour. I’d hate to put loads of effort into creating something only for no one to buy it. Whereas if someone ordered it as a custom, there’d be a guarantee that at least one person would buy it. Hope this doesn’t come across as pessimistic.

 

[Ghostwriter727]

I'm more into the lighthearted, fun, and playful tickle sessions where everyone has a good laugh and there aren't any "hard feelings" although I can probably get a little high strung at certain moments of intense simulation.😂

If someone has a preference for domination, or hard bondage I guess they should look elsewhere since that isn't really my speed, but sometimes tickling is just enjoying the feeling; right?

To each there own.
They still won't break me down.😉

 

[soletease]

2015: Her name was Stephanie. She was wearing light blue denim capris pants with some rips in them, and a black tank top with a white Nike swoosh. Her shoes and socks were discarded in the corner early into our evening.

I was in her bedroom, laying on my back. I was strapped down to her bed in an X shape, leather cuffs firmly affixed to my wrists and ankles, with the ropes pulled tight. She looked at me and said “awwwe, you’re so cute!” My feet were bare and she’s caressing my left sole with her nails as she’s watching my face the entire time. I’m just trying not to die, okay? She smiling and says “I just love your faces!” Then she goes quiet but really starts in concentrating on my soles, both at the same time undergoing rhythmic fingernail strokes for the next five minutes. Then she says “you sound like my Chach’s squeak duck”. (That’s the dog)
Then she comes over to my forehead and gently brushes the hair that’s stuck to my forehead sweat. She calmly and softly brushed my hair with her nails until I looked somewhat composed. She just smiled at me while she was immensely enjoying my position as her defenseless ticklee.

She held my hand, then pushed my hand down as she used her free hand to tickle my armpit. I was strapped down anyway, but she pushed her hand down on top of mine as she stroked my armpit relentlessly. Then she adjusted my hair again after it was stuck in my sweaty forehead.

As I’m thrashing around in the straps she giggles and says “you’re hilarious” as she keeps on tickling. She had no mercy and a strong desire to tickle me as hard as she wanted.

She was so kind and loving. To be fair, when she was locked in the straps and I did her feet, I told her “you’re doing so good!” As my fingers were gliding up and down her soles and around her toes. Then she screamed “F U” and “when I get out of here…!!” Then I reassured her “why let you out? You’re doing so good!! I’m proud of you!”
Then I said “no, we’re not done! Just starting! I’m not letting you out.”

Light swirling Fingernails and then the metal pinwheel were the most fun on her soles, heels and toes. She was amazing.

 

[Comfort Eagle]

Me. Big time.

 

[sman9000]

Why not commission something? You’re most definitely not alone in your tastes, but the reason why Femdom is so popular is because men literally pay for it. I’d be more than happy to create gentle style F/M but damn, I’d need at least some incentive. People don’t seem to realise the amount of time and effort that goes into these things. It’s emotional and physical labour. I’d hate to put loads of effort into creating something only for no one to buy it. Whereas if someone ordered it as a custom, there’d be a guarantee that at least one person would buy it. Hope this doesn’t come across as pessimistic.

At the end of the day, it is a business and no one is entitled to free labor.

 

[Doriansenigma]

I would be more inclined to explore F/M content if there were some like this. This is very naturally my dynamic as a ler.

 

[SugarSoaker]

Same - I prefer, make, and do f/m that is more towards a playful, friendly approach. I can be a little more dominant if they want, but it’s not my natural nature or play style.