seeking tickling advice

[dadgad]

I've been lurking here forever and have finally decided to interact. I'm certainly not the only man who has ever been where I am regarding tickling, which is why I'm posting this. Would also LOVE to hear from women on this.
I have a lovely wife; short, petite, dark hair, olive skin, 41 years old and looks 29. Exceptionally ticklish head to toe, expecially her size six feet and toes. Absolutely hates to be tickled, even a quick poke. She is fully aware of my love for tickling; I have talked to her about it many times, even wrote a letter about it. I'm certain at this point that it's a lost cause, she simply is not interested. Once a couple of years ago, I got her to agree to be the 'ler, and let her tie me up and tickle me, partly because I was curious to see what it would be like to be the 'lee, and partly to show her I was willing to play from both angles. This too was no great thrill for her; she practically yawned through 2-3 minutes of tickling me, and doesn't want to do it again.
At this point I think I should simply respect the way she feels, and stop asking. To persist would likely turn out bad. So....what's a guy supposed to do? Attempt to ignore something I've always loved? Continue to ask? Seek a "tickling only" partner? What?????

 

[DEEPSHOTONE]

Between a rock and a hard place!!

I feel your pain. My only question to you is: if you never get a chance to tickler her for the rest of your lives, would you still have a happy marriage? If your answer is "yes" then don't bring it up again and live happily ever after. If your answer is "no" then you have a lot of decicisons to make. My beautiful wife of 7.5 years is not ticklish at all and thinks everyone on this forum should be thrown under a bus. In her own words " you people are sick and need help bad". Our divorce will be final at the end of the month by the way. This is not what ended our marriage. However, it became a big deal when everything else was falling apart. If all the other aspect of our relationship were great I could have easily gotten over the tickling part. But when you can't get along, always arguing, and have a non-exsitant sex life(2yrs) well its kinda hard to ignore and repress the things that will make you happy. As I have gotten older (37 yrs old), I have realized that my love for women's feet and tickling is a major part of who I am. I dont care how beautiful or wonderful the woman is or how wealthy she is, if she not tickllish I'll always be unfullfilled. If you can find a tickle playmate on the side more power to you. But keep in mind even if theres no sex involved that this might cause problems if she ever found out.

Good luck my friend.

 

[reflexology414]

...

I wish I had some kind of fantastic advice to offer. In my own case, I could never be happy in a relationship with someone who wasn't open to my love of feet and tickling. It just wouldn't work.

If you're happy in every aspect of your marriage but this one, you may want to find a tickling partner. I'd hate to think of you going through the rest of your life without something that is obviously so important to you.

Regardless of your decision, I wish you the best.

 

[lk70]

Not coming from a male perspective here, but I have to echo what Deepshotone said- he said it well and it pretty much sums up my marriage too (a divorce that is also becoming final very shortly).

If you can live without it and not resent her for it, tuck it away somewhere and be happy with her forever. I guess evaluate the rest of your relationship and go from there.

A word of caution about meeting "just a play partner" though. You never know when someone you meet just for play becomes much more to you. That can cause complications and possibly a lot of pain.

I hope and I'm sure you'll hear from others who are in the same boat as you- there are many here.

I feel your pain and wish you happiness.

Lynn

 

[unit5610]

I can also relate to deepshotone...I'm in a similar situation with my wife not at all ticklish, though she will indulge my interests by tickling me on occasion and wearing cute sandals whenever the weather is even remotely warm enough. I have no opportunity to be a 'ler which I reeaaally miss but other things about my marriage are fine. She'd never go along with me going to a gathering and I don't blame her...if the roles were reversed I might feel the same way.
In short my 'ler yearnings won't drive me out of my marriage, but that's just me.

 

[Mz Chaos]

And now this will be the other side of the coin.

Do Not Try This At Home - (unless you're absolutely certain you'd want to)

My relationships were difficult... not just because of things we said or did... it's what we didn't do. I had this urge... this craving... for something I wasn't getting. I figured life was too short to go without something you enjoy so much, especially when it is always there... at the edge of your thoughts.
In my case, I am glad I made that decision. I have been single for 4 years now and you can bet your bottom dollar I'm gonna settle for nothing less than a compatable 'ler, or I'll remain single.
Of course we'd need to connect on many different levels as well as with tickling, but tickling is going to be there.
I have a feeling that next time, the craving won't be there, and I'll have a much better relationship with it gone.

 

[FunJoe]

I share your pain my friend.
It sucks when you have a spouse that does not share your love
of tickling. My ex-wife hated to be tickled. I remember one time
I tickled her feet and she got mad. I never persude anymore after that.
Right now, I'm divorced and enjoying being single(other factors lead to my divorce, not my love for tickling). If I ever get in a relationship, its going to be with a woman that likes to be tickled.
I don't want to make it sound that you leave your wife. I'm sure
she has a lot of good qualities in her. I wouldn't try to persue it with her.
On the other hand, I wouldn't persue looking for a tickle partner because
that might lead you into trouble, big time. You seem pretty happy
with your marriage so I would just drop it. My ex hated being tickled si I forced myself to drop it, wasn't easy, but I did it.

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

A word of caution about meeting "just a play partner" though. You never know when someone you meet just for play becomes much more to you. That can cause complications and possibly a lot of pain.



Lynn

Yep, I saw Fatal Attraction..

 

[starfires]

How does your wife feel about you getting a tickling-only partner? If you haven't brought it up yet, try that. If she is likely to get jealous, suggest that she can be present while you play, if and when: she can see for herself that there is nothing to feel threatened over. Besides, given the pattern so far, chances are she would be bored out of her mind, and it's rather difficult to be bored and jealous at the same time. Feeling bored and neglected are completely compatible, though, so tell her to bring a book 🙂

 

[dadgad]

interesting replies

Thanks to all for the replies. I actually have a very good marriage, and i know it. I can't imagine letting this end the marriage...too much good stuff!
Thanks as well for the words of caution; I'm fully aware of the magnitude of having a special friend. Not totally sure I could pull it off. I've had one or two opportunities to be unfaithful (sex, not tickling) and did not act. Fortunately tickling is the only thing I'm being deprived of.
Would she be okay being present while I play with another? Not likely. Even if she said she would try, it would probably cause me to shut down.
Which brings me to.....a professional escort? Or a place like Passive Arts? Where I could do it, have it clear from the beginning that there will be no sex, and also not have it turn into a "thing" because the other person is simply providing a professional service? Not ideal for many reasons, but of course there is no ideal answer.
What about a gathering? Would it be cool to show up at one, fully explain my situation, and find someone to play with for a little while, and have it not be a big deal?
I do need to let the thought of doing this with my wife die, but also cannot just let it go.

 

[maniactickler]

I've been lurking here forever and have finally decided to interact. I'm certainly not the only man who has ever been where I am regarding tickling, which is why I'm posting this. Would also LOVE to hear from women on this.
I have a lovely wife; short, petite, dark hair, olive skin, 41 years old and looks 29. Exceptionally ticklish head to toe, expecially her size six feet and toes. Absolutely hates to be tickled, even a quick poke. She is fully aware of my love for tickling; I have talked to her about it many times, even wrote a letter about it. I'm certain at this point that it's a lost cause, she simply is not interested. Once a couple of years ago, I got her to agree to be the 'ler, and let her tie me up and tickle me, partly because I was curious to see what it would be like to be the 'lee, and partly to show her I was willing to play from both angles. This too was no great thrill for her; she practically yawned through 2-3 minutes of tickling me, and doesn't want to do it again.
At this point I think I should simply respect the way she feels, and stop asking. To persist would likely turn out bad. So....what's a guy supposed to do? Attempt to ignore something I've always loved? Continue to ask? Seek a "tickling only" partner? What?????

Simple solution. its divorce time.

 

[unclebill]

If she is ok with you going out and seeking a "tickling partner", then I say go for it. But sneaking around behind her back is risky and could get you a date in divorce court. Their is alot of that going around in this forum these days. Folks have a right to live their lives as they wish, but only you can make the decision if its worth losing your marriage. I`ve been divorced several years, and if their is another marriage in my future she`s gonna have to understand and accept this fetish.

 

[terorizer]

I'm so unqualified to give advice on your marriage, though having spent much more of my life without unrequited tickling than with, I can feel for your situation.

As far as gatherings go though, I can say there are many in the community in the same boat, and you certainly would not be in uncharted waters attending an event and playing without your spouse present. From what I've observed, it depends completely on you as a person as to whether or not you can separate the play from what you feel your other commitments are. Some can, some can't.

If you truly can't see the marriage ending because of "too much good stuff" though, I'd say that's the place you want to come from when evaluating things. I wish well.

 

[shyguy]

Hey man,

I have alot of sympathy for ya. I know how frustrating it can be to be in a relationship where tickling is a taboo subject.

I also want to echo what others have said in this thread....any future relationships I have will have to involve tickling. You have got to do what makes you happy. There has to be a common ground two people can come to stand on. This fetish is a part of who we are. I know it is for me.


Anthony

 

[Aachen1983]

Dude, do you love her? If she isn't interested in it, don't push the subject. Just deal with it and love her for who she is.

 

[Tickle Avenger]

You know it sucks to be in that situation, but I would have to say go with what your heart truely desires.