Seems so hard to find a female ler/switch

[tkl_venom]

Anyone else think this? For roleplay and stuffs? Just seems really hard to find a female ler lol

 

[Ticklishz]

agreed!

 

[TKLVR181]

For one thing, it's getting harder to find RP partners in general. It's a dying art, it seems-those who do it don't always do it particularly well and are more interested in getting what they want than both parties having mutual fun-and it turns others off.

Roleplay is like any other form of kink fun-it's about two people enjoying themselves together. That gets difficult when one party says "I want it this specific way and I want you to do this to me and act this way for this long" without listening to the other person's preferences. Lees and lers alike have been guilty of this, in my experience.

Lately I have a tendency to stick to the same three or four play partners That's because these three or four are people I've known for a long time and have gotten to know as people with their preferences, likes, dislikes, etc very well, and they know mine as well. It's not very easy to say "Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but tie me up and destroy me baby" 😛

The following are a very general few paragraphs. I'm aware that there are many exceptions to the statements I'm about to lay down, and can think of plenty of examples on both sides from personal friends of mine. Please don't bitch me out for being general.

In my opinion some of the problem male lers come across also comes from the fact that men and women VERY GENERALLY SPEAKING like different things from their lees.

Men like the feeling of control gotten from a willing, trusting lee asking to be tied up and whatever else coming to them. Since most people tend to try to give what they prefer to get, that's how many of the male lees act-that and some sense of lustful desperation makes many of them even more eager.

Women, ALSO GENERALLY SPEAKING, often like getting the upper hand on the men through 'consensual non-consent' type means. Personally speaking I prefer this as a 'ler as well-the powerful rush of being able to overpower your opponent and FORCE them to laugh and squirm and beg. For me at least, it's way more fun to hear begs and see desperate squirming-buuut that's just me.

~K

 

[SqueekySnort]

Valid points. Though i've talked with some people on here recently, fairly newer, and they dont neccessarily feel welcome from being blown off so hard by some of the veterans on here for so much as asking a simple question, tbh I sort of felt the same. I think some may take certain things too seriously. Also "Big Ego's" was a word not used by me. Eggo Waffles on the other hand... Yum.

 

[TKLVR181]

Valid points. Though i've talked with some people on here recently, fairly newer, and they dont neccessarily feel welcome from being blown off so hard by some of the veterans on here for so much as asking a simple question, tbh I sort of felt the same. I think some may take certain things to seriously. Also "Big Ego's" was a word not used by me. Eggo Waffles on the other hand... Yum.

What kind of questions were asked, if I may? I'm curious-that's not cool to be just blown off out of hand for sure.

 

[tkl_venom]

I have no problem with things being a two way street, I'm very much all about both parties being happy but the thing that I find is that most female's I have attempted RPing with say that they want things both ways but then go first and of course when it's my turn they go offline or leave. I am pretty much a lee but I'll switch so both parties are happy (Hence why I put switch in my threat title 😛 )

 

[SqueekySnort]

IMO, It probably just has strongly to do with preference whether you lee or ler and meeting that person and having it match up, without getting into names or too many details I happen to speak with atleast two female lee/lers and things go perfectly well for both, as far as the quantity of female lee/lers just by browsing around ive come across many that have gone inactive over recent yrs, it may or may not have to do with what I said before or a very broad combination of anything ive said but also js I know this isnt a dating site but IMO it doesnt neccessarily seem like the type of forum for only couples or being "exclusive" with someone for being so heavily based around/somewhat promoting the subject, because when its promoted so heavily its kind of a headscratcher when the only people around cba and the point of this forum somewhat just becomes pointless at that point plus its kind of weird IMO when your expected to be around in the community for 5 years before its even socially exceptable, or when the female is even willing anyway from one expierience ive heard about thats also the other headscratcher at that point its kind of odd of even having an account here, or so it seems anyway especially if this is a place thats going to be so open about the subject.

 

[Wade1]

Women, ALSO GENERALLY SPEAKING, often like getting the upper hand on the men through 'consensual non-consent' type means. Personally speaking I prefer this as a 'ler as well-the powerful rush of being able to overpower your opponent and FORCE them to laugh and squirm and beg.

That sounds familiar. I do believe I've been placed in that position once or twice or a thousand times...

 

[Violetta]

Is it just me or has this become the second most common topic right after "how do I make X more ticklish?"

 

[tkl_venom]

Probably just you, I didn't see anything like this in the first three or four pages of the discussion forum lol

Then again, I wear glasses. Might have missed it *shrugs*

 

[Violetta]

Admittedly it could just be my perception. I don't come around too much anymore, so if I do and I see someone asking about this, it tends to stick out. And I've weighed in on the topic numerous times in the past, too. Eh, it's the cycle.

 

[drew70]

I don't really look to the community for tickling. I get tickled by vanilla women exclusively. Friends, neighbors, co-workers. In my experience, most women love tickling guys, but there are social barriers that generally stop them from doing so. Take those barriers away, and some of these ladies will surprise you with their zeal.

 

[MistressValerie1]

I don't really look to the community for tickling. I get tickled by vanilla women exclusively. Friends, neighbors, co-workers. In my experience, most women love tickling guys, but there are social barriers that generally stop them from doing so. Take those barriers away, and some of these ladies will surprise you with their zeal.

In my experience this is true 🙂

 

[Wade1]

I get tickled by vanilla women exclusively. Friends, neighbors, co-workers.

100% my experience as well. There's a robust subsection of the female population who, while apparently vanilla, are avid avocational ticklers, and when they discover a ticklish person in their midst -- especially a ticklish male -- they're generally uninhibited in their gusto to exploit that weakness in a friendly and unsexualized context.

 

[The_Raptor]

Anyone else think this? For roleplay and stuffs? Just seems really hard to find a female ler lol

I think this is partially true here, they exist and they were open about it at the beginning but for reasons that some guys(lees and lers also) are like giving the bad reputation and scaring, freaking them off by being jerks and all.... 🙁
And being just as fragile as roses they are, they sadly tend to hide or just play with other females or just stop being active at all here....

100% my experience as well. There's a robust subsection of the female population who, while apparently vanilla, are avid avocational ticklers, and when they discover a ticklish person in their midst -- especially a ticklish male -- they're generally uninhibited in their gusto to exploit that weakness in a friendly and unsexualized context.

I don't really look to the community for tickling. I get tickled by vanilla women exclusively. Friends, neighbors, co-workers. In my experience, most women love tickling guys, but there are social barriers that generally stop them from doing so. Take those barriers away, and some of these ladies will surprise you with their zeal.

Meh, not all people(such as myself) can have a tickle friendly society like that, hence i think having friends from the community here is the only way

 

[ticklebug101]

I used to like cybering with people on the same wavelength as me. When I had a long day and came home frazzled, I like to find somebody who would tie me up and torture me till I hollered, and the next time we played it would be my turn to make them scream. I miss those days.....

 

[Ticklishz]

*waves at Buggy* i miss them too

 

[Volsung1]

I used to like cybering with people on the same wavelength as me. When I had a long day and came home frazzled, I like to find somebody who would tie me up and torture me till I hollered, and the next time we played it would be my turn to make them scream. I miss those days.....

I know what you mean.

I find that my interest in tickling is cyclical. Maybe it has to do with how busy I am in general.

I think that you definitely have to create the circumstances...

 

[Sandisk444]

I don't really look to the community for tickling. I get tickled by vanilla women exclusively. Friends, neighbors, co-workers. In my experience, most women love tickling guys, but there are social barriers that generally stop them from doing so. Take those barriers away, and some of these ladies will surprise you with their zeal.

That's fine and all if casual experiences satisfy you. Some people are more interested in a genuine relationship that involves that component and I don't think the general "vanilla" community will be totally into complete domination of someone through tickling.

I think there is a smaller "active" community of females who identify as 'lers and switches due to the unquenchable thirst of the male 'lee/switch population. You're seen as a commodity rather than just a member of the community and that can drive people to being somewhat callous if they're open about it or they just hide it altogether. This is all merely what I've heard and noticed myself, I'm not trying to say this is the "law of lady 'lers" or anything.

 

[Dovalys]

I used to like cybering with people on the same wavelength as me. When I had a long day and came home frazzled, I like to find somebody who would tie me up and torture me till I hollered, and the next time we played it would be my turn to make them scream. I miss those days.....

My favourite way to end a stressful day. :stickout

Thing is, I used to be able to find folk to mess with in the chatroom when my usual victims weren't around - now the chatroom is almost completely empty.
Mind that could be my timezone, I know most of you are backwards to me hahaha
I'm far more likely to RP with someone I've known for a little while, and I just don't really have a way of doing that here anymore with the boards so quiet, and the chatroom all but empty.

 

[Sandisk444]

My favourite way to end a stressful day. :stickout

Thing is, I used to be able to find folk to mess with in the chatroom when my usual victims weren't around - now the chatroom is almost completely empty.
Mind that could be my timezone, I know most of you are backwards to me hahaha
I'm far more likely to RP with someone I've known for a little while, and I just don't really have a way of doing that here anymore with the boards so quiet, and the chatroom all but empty.

Yeah, I find that it's hard to get a good conversation started with someone without just going straight to their inbox, which isn't the best method in my opinion. It feels like knocking on someone's door uninvited in a way, some people are cool with it but some people think it's a bit of an "invasion".

I'm like you in that I'd rather rp with someone I have a rapport with, especially if I'm 'lee-ing. It seems like the people who vocalize an interest in rp around here are mostly looking for just that and not the "getting to know you" part, which I really can't get into at all.

 

[CuddlyCanadian]

My favourite way to end a stressful day. :stickout

Thing is, I used to be able to find folk to mess with in the chatroom when my usual victims weren't around - now the chatroom is almost completely empty.
Mind that could be my timezone, I know most of you are backwards to me hahaha
I'm far more likely to RP with someone I've known for a little while, and I just don't really have a way of doing that here anymore with the boards so quiet, and the chatroom all but empty.

It's definitely nice to have that established friendship so you know what you're getting into. Lord knows there are folks who are very non-descriptive and boring. It makes for a very disinterested partner.

 

[SqueekySnort]

See, the part that throws me, this isnt a dating site, y'all make it sound like it is the way you talk about it, at the same time it would be nice to talk with someone a bit before getting to that, but some are so uptight about it, for lack of a better term, it makes the whole thing seem hypocritical, I mean its a site based on and around tickling... not dating right? Or am I wrong? Lol. Thats why I dont believe a type of forum like this is a place for couples/being 'exclusive' with someone, IMO. Most forums ive used use the PM system as a primary for communicating, and you got to know someone through what they posted in threads, so when I see people complain about not getting to that in a thread, then try talking to others on here, and there like why the f are you talking to me, or dont reply, its like the f...

 

[tickltulz]

Finding partners was never hard if you're into the party/fantasy side of tickling and switching. Just go to a munch. But finding partners who also have a craving to play harder and more intense was the hardest part for me. I met several ladies at parties who would play the usual way but nothing clicked. Just finding a partner because they are into tickling wasn't enough as I have more varied interests. It wasn't until I attended an SMTK party event that offered more than just 'tickling' that I ran into Meg who turned out to be everything I was seeking. And as we talked we also had many more things in common as well, the exception being that she was not into feet or tickling at all because she was highly ticklish. That party offered other things more to her liking. We've been together 7 years now and going strong. She's since become a die-hard tickle and s/m freak like me. As she's said many times, females seek something deeper, something more. Just tickle-tickle is ok for a few minutes but if it doesn't have anything more to it she would get bored. Had she met me and I was only into tickling or even a switch, that light type of tickle fantasy, she wouldn't have given me a second look. So perhaps by expanding your horizons and play style it could help.