sole seeker
2nd Level Indigo Feather
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Sorry if this is a repost. I felt the need to share some humor, so I delved deep into my joke archive for this one.
<center>
</center>
<center>Sexual Calorie Counter</center>
It has been known for many years that sex is good excersize, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities. Now after original and proprietary research they are proud to present the results.
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent.......12 calories
Without her consent.........187 calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.........8 calories
With one hand...........12 calories
With your teeth...........85 calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection........6 calories
Without an erection.........315 calories
PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris.......8 calories
Trying to find the G-Spot.......92 calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary..........12 calories
69 lying down.........78 calories
69 standing up.........112 calories
Wheelbarrow.........216 calories
Doggy Style........326 calories
Italian chandelier........912 calories
ORGASMS:
Real..........112 calories
Fake...........315 calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging.........12 calories
Getting up immediately.......36 calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.....816 calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
20-29 years old........36 calories
30-39 years old..........80 calories
40-49 years old.........124 calories
50-59 years old..........972 calories
60-69 years old.........2916 calories
70 and over........results are still pending
DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.........32 calories
In a hurry.........98 calories
With her father knocking at the door.........1218 calories
With your wife knocking at the door..........3521 calories
<center>
</center><center>Sexual Calorie Counter</center>
It has been known for many years that sex is good excersize, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities. Now after original and proprietary research they are proud to present the results.
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent.......12 calories
Without her consent.........187 calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.........8 calories
With one hand...........12 calories
With your teeth...........85 calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection........6 calories
Without an erection.........315 calories
PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris.......8 calories
Trying to find the G-Spot.......92 calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary..........12 calories
69 lying down.........78 calories
69 standing up.........112 calories
Wheelbarrow.........216 calories
Doggy Style........326 calories
Italian chandelier........912 calories
ORGASMS:
Real..........112 calories
Fake...........315 calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging.........12 calories
Getting up immediately.......36 calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.....816 calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
20-29 years old........36 calories
30-39 years old..........80 calories
40-49 years old.........124 calories
50-59 years old..........972 calories
60-69 years old.........2916 calories
70 and over........results are still pending
DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.........32 calories
In a hurry.........98 calories
With her father knocking at the door.........1218 calories
With your wife knocking at the door..........3521 calories
