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So Depressed/Angry About How We Are Viewed

We got one!
We got one to de-lurk!
Yay for us.
 
Journia said:
Circus....you signature is far too self-centered.
Click to expand...
His signature is from one of my favorite slipknot songs called the nameless.

I want (YOU) I need (YOU) I'll have (YOU)
I won't LET ANYBODY HAVE YOU
Obey (ME) Believe (ME) Just trust (ME) Worship (ME) Live for (ME)
Be grateful (NOW) Be honest (NOW) Be precious (NOW) Be mine (JUST LOVE ME)

Possesion (feed my only vice)
Confession (i wont tell you twice)
Decide - (either die for me)
Or give up - any thought you had of being free
 
Kalamos said:
Can you believe that?
And that's not because I'm some kind of sex-god, a filthy rich heir to vast fortunes, or some famous actor.
None of that.
That's because they got to know me a bit, they - for some unexplainable reason - got to like me, and they are fine with me, and my kinks.
😉
Click to expand...

That is, not to say that he isn't some kind of sex-god, or a filthy rich heir to vast fortunes, OR/AND a famous actor.
 
Journia said:
Circus....you signature is far too self-centered.
Click to expand...

HyPeRaCtIvItY called it. It is indeed from "Nameless" by Slipknot. As for it being self-centered...I think that's supposed to be the point. It's a very one-sided, obsessive, and unhealthy relationship.
 
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TheChameleon said:
That is, not to say that he isn't some kind of sex-god, or a filthy rich heir to vast fortunes, OR/AND a famous actor.
Click to expand...
Yeah...
Sure...

...

Look, women, Chameleon is a wrestling star!
Huggle him!

Now!!!

...

😉
 
Hey everyone sorry I haven't replied in a few days. I read all of your stuff and you guys have great advice : ). I love you guys, thank you 🙂

And about the the 30 comment! I know there is 10 years before 30, lol. But as I get older, the years go by WAY faster! You know what I mean?
 
Oni said:
And about the the 30 comment! I know there is 10 years before 30, lol. But as I get older, the years go by WAY faster! You know what I mean?
Click to expand...
Nope.
That's nonsense.
I've been 30 for a couple of years, now.
Unless you intend on suddenly start decaying after 29, 30 is just another age.
 
I think that the reason time passes faster when you get older is cause when you are say 4 or 5, one year accounts for 1\4th or 1\5th of your life so it seems longer, but later on the older you get a year is less and less of a percentage of your life. idk the drunken rnadom thoughts on a saturday night lol
 
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Youre absolutely right. I was gonna add that myself actually but got lazy. =^_^=
 
HyPeRaCtIvItY said:
I think that the reason time passes faster when you get older is cause when you are say 4 or 5, one year accounts for 1\4th or 1\5th of your life so it seems longer, but later on the older you get a year is less and less of a percentage of your life. idk the drunken rnadom thoughts on a saturday night lol
Click to expand...

Maybe if you age exponentially it will seem steady. So each year after 2 your age would double.
omg fuck that.

My perspective on aging is that if the next 10 years go by like the last 10, I better start planning for retirement.
I really think time seems to speed up because you learn less. Less new things to mark each day. At any rate years don't do anything except go by, and they do that forever. You know exactly when your 80th birthday will be, so no one can say they weren't ready.
 
Oni said:
I'm almost 21 years old, and I've never had a real relationship. I'm so tired of being lonely and want to find someone, and also as I'm approaching my 30's etc, would like to have a wife. But something is making me so discouraged, and angry. I read all these articles online about how we (foot fetishists/tickling fetishists) are viewed as disgusting, embarrassing, freakish, and perverted etc. It's going to be hard enough for me to find a woman I like who wants to be with me in the first place, but in order for me to have a healthy and normal sexual relationship with her, she'd need to either share the fetish, or be understanding, and trustworthy and comfortable enough to allow me to indulge it with her to some degree. And to find someone like that? It's seeming almost impossible with all these articles I've seen, and how I've heard people talk, the things that have been said etc. It hurts me deeply that we are forced to be so secretive about our own sexuality, and to feel so ashamed and not be able to just be who we are on a regular basis. I don't really know where I'm going with this, I just needed to get it out.
Click to expand...

I disagree with everyone on one point. I don't think finding someone you can love should be your first priority. Of course the libido doesn't just go away, but you have so much more control over it and your own feelings when you take care of yourself. Exercise, healthy diet, sunlight, sleep, work, and play, all are good for you and all get pushed aside when people are over-stimulated or stressed. But if you're not doing things you know are good for you, then what meaning does "self-respect" have?
 
ok, im throwing my two cents in...this thread totally hits home for me... (go get a sandwhich, this one is a little long...)

I understand where your coming from- not so much in the "gotta find the love of my life and be married by 30" aspect (im cynical, though, so marriage for me is 'iffy' anyways lol) but that lost, hopeless, why-am-i-stuck-with-this kinda way. I hate having this fetish sometimes-....most of the time...-because it really does keep us from being "normal." Some people are fine with it, and even take joy in it, and I really do envy them. For me, I feel like I've been cheated. I listen to my friends talk about bad dates or their fights with their boy/girlfriends, and I can't help but fell like "you think YOU have problems?" I know it's wrong to feel that way, but I just feel like we have such a harder time finding someone than "normal" people do. (I use 'normal' loosely, but I think you guys get what I mean)

In regards to loving someone without the detish- I'm seriously SO HAPPY for those of you who that has worked out for. I really really mean that, you guys are so lucky. In my own experience, I was dating someone for 2 1/2 years when the whole Joe Millionaire thing broke (I hope you guys know what Im talking about) This sparked a topic of converstaion between us about fetishes, in which he went on and on about how weird having a tickling fetish was. And no, he had no idea I had one- I never wanted to disapear so badly in my life. A year later, I came out to him about it- he was the first person I ever came out to. And believe it or not, he was totally fine with it. I mean, he didn't get it, but he didn't think it was that big of a feal.

Sounds good so far, right? Well, another year goes by, and I hit my 20s...kinda coming into myself and realizing what I needed in my sex life. He couldn't do it for me. Just because he accepted it didn't mean he understood. Even when I would talk to him about it, his jokes were kind of cruel- like he was laughing AT it rather than WITH it. He wasn't a mean guy by any means- he just didn't understand. I would never want to try anything with him because he would never get it. I could never tell him what turned me on, because he was so vanilla. And believe me, I tried. It just didn't work.

Fast forward to last year. We broke up after 5 years, and I started dating someone from this community. It was amazing. We had a reeeeeeally big location difference, so the meat of our relationship was in the form of raw communication. We never got the chance to "do" anything (again, I'm making the obvious reference) but just the fact that he understood and felt the same way was....amazing. We laughed about it all the time, we'd send each other threatening emails, we could talk fantasies without any judgement, and we could actually bleep the "t-word" out of our conversations because, like so many of us, neither one of us could actually say it with ease. It was a level of understand like I've never experienced. Even though we ended up giving up on it because of the distance, he remains my best friend in the world.

<deep breath> So what am I saying in all this rambling? Dont get me wrong- it CAN work with a vanilla person. And not all vanilla people see this as SUCH as weird thing. In a related story, i came out to my mother (I know, I can hear the gasp) this past winter- and she's amazingly fine with it. Ha, she's more supportive than I ever imagined anyone could be (sorry, off topic again). BUT anyways- not all vanilla will think that we're weird, and it can work. I love hearing sucess stories from community members. But in my experience, there's no substitute for someone who really understands. Dating someone from the community is amazing. I guess Im plugging the community, haha. But that brought me the greatest joy, and I guess a glimer of hope that there ar people out there.

We're an oddly shaped puzzle piece, I admit- but that doesn't mean that there isn't a perfectly fitting one somewhere out there.

Whew, sorry if that was wicked long, but I guess I needed to get that out. Btw, I've been on this site for a few years (mainly the TMF) but have kinda dropped away- Im trying to get involved again. I guess this is my official introduction- hope some of you are still awake after reading all that 🙂

~clair 😀
 
tklgal226 said:
ok, im throwing my two cents in...this thread totally hits home for me... (go get a sandwhich, this one is a little long...)

I understand where your coming from- not so much in the "gotta find the love of my life and be married by 30" aspect (im cynical, though, so marriage for me is 'iffy' anyways lol) but that lost, hopeless, why-am-i-stuck-with-this kinda way. I hate having this fetish sometimes-....most of the time...-because it really does keep us from being "normal." Some people are fine with it, and even take joy in it, and I really do envy them. For me, I feel like I've been cheated. I listen to my friends talk about bad dates or their fights with their boy/girlfriends, and I can't help but fell like "you think YOU have problems?" I know it's wrong to feel that way, but I just feel like we have such a harder time finding someone than "normal" people do. (I use 'normal' loosely, but I think you guys get what I mean)

In regards to loving someone without the detish- I'm seriously SO HAPPY for those of you who that has worked out for. I really really mean that, you guys are so lucky. In my own experience, I was dating someone for 2 1/2 years when the whole Joe Millionaire thing broke (I hope you guys know what Im talking about) This sparked a topic of converstaion between us about fetishes, in which he went on and on about how weird having a tickling fetish was. And no, he had no idea I had one- I never wanted to disapear so badly in my life. A year later, I came out to him about it- he was the first person I ever came out to. And believe it or not, he was totally fine with it. I mean, he didn't get it, but he didn't think it was that big of a feal.

Sounds good so far, right? Well, another year goes by, and I hit my 20s...kinda coming into myself and realizing what I needed in my sex life. He couldn't do it for me. Just because he accepted it didn't mean he understood. Even when I would talk to him about it, his jokes were kind of cruel- like he was laughing AT it rather than WITH it. He wasn't a mean guy by any means- he just didn't understand. I would never want to try anything with him because he would never get it. I could never tell him what turned me on, because he was so vanilla. And believe me, I tried. It just didn't work.

Fast forward to last year. We broke up after 5 years, and I started dating someone from this community. It was amazing. We had a reeeeeeally big location difference, so the meat of our relationship was in the form of raw communication. We never got the chance to "do" anything (again, I'm making the obvious reference) but just the fact that he understood and felt the same way was....amazing. We laughed about it all the time, we'd send each other threatening emails, we could talk fantasies without any judgement, and we could actually bleep the "t-word" out of our conversations because, like so many of us, neither one of us could actually say it with ease. It was a level of understand like I've never experienced. Even though we ended up giving up on it because of the distance, he remains my best friend in the world.

<deep breath> So what am I saying in all this rambling? Dont get me wrong- it CAN work with a vanilla person. And not all vanilla people see this as SUCH as weird thing. In a related story, i came out to my mother (I know, I can hear the gasp) this past winter- and she's amazingly fine with it. Ha, she's more supportive than I ever imagined anyone could be (sorry, off topic again). BUT anyways- not all vanilla will think that we're weird, and it can work. I love hearing sucess stories from community members. But in my experience, there's no substitute for someone who really understands. Dating someone from the community is amazing. I guess Im plugging the community, haha. But that brought me the greatest joy, and I guess a glimer of hope that there ar people out there.

We're an oddly shaped puzzle piece, I admit- but that doesn't mean that there isn't a perfectly fitting one somewhere out there.

Whew, sorry if that was wicked long, but I guess I needed to get that out. Btw, I've been on this site for a few years (mainly the TMF) but have kinda dropped away- Im trying to get involved again. I guess this is my official introduction- hope some of you are still awake after reading all that 🙂

~clair 😀
Click to expand...
I think that it's only fitting that, in my first post after six years of lurking, I should be (for once) at a total loss for words. Except to say that your post, although admittedly wicked long, was also wicked smart, wicked on point and wicked nice. And your two cents worth probably equals most folks' two billion dollars worth (that's billion with a "b").
 
I dont really share my fetish with most people, but in terms of my close friends and family, most of them dont need to know anyway. As for the rest of the world who really cares? I dont know about anyone else but there is no doubt in my mind that 85% of the world's population are a bunch of worthless buffoons not really worth my time anyway.
 
Betchass said:
I disagree with everyone on one point. I don't think finding someone you can love should be your first priority. Of course the libido doesn't just go away, but you have so much more control over it and your own feelings when you take care of yourself. Exercise, healthy diet, sunlight, sleep, work, and play, all are good for you and all get pushed aside when people are over-stimulated or stressed. But if you're not doing things you know are good for you, then what meaning does "self-respect" have?
Click to expand...
I just wanted to comment; I like your take on this.
 
Kalamos said:
You kidding, ja?
Click to expand...

Not at all. Your body synthesizes vitamin D from sunlight. That's why white people tan, so they don't get vitamin D poisoning. And that's why people from tropical regions have darker skin, and people from way northern areas have light skin.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melanin
It's true vitamin D is added to lots of foods, so that's not as important as it was thousands of years ago, but getting some time in the sun can make a big difference with things like being depressed, lack of sleep, and stress.
We descended from tree-living animals, which tend to be dormant at night (or fall out of trees and die), so I think we have a natural attraction to daylight.
 
Betchass said:
We descended from tree-living animals, which tend to be dormant at night (or fall out of trees and die), so I think we have a natural attraction to daylight.
Click to expand...
YOU can descend trees and ascend palms.
Me...
Sunlight scorches me like a charred chicken.

...

Do I need to post pics and show you what kind of complexion I've got!?
I tell ya, you gotta hide your childrens away and you'll be hearing the wailing of your terrified pets for the ages to come.
Don't tell me I haven't warned you enough.

😉

...

This armour ain't just for style, ya know?
 
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