Some Tickling Observations

[drummer_punk]

I have formulated an opinion about tickling and would like to hear what you all think. I have a girlfriend who is EXTREMELY ticklish, mostly on her sides and feet. We've gotten in many tickling fights before. But I've heard her say a few times that she hates being tickled. I think some people are so ticklish, that it can be tortuous to be tickled. However, if they are tickled lightly in certain spots, it feels good and can be a turn on. Tickling is such a strange phenomenon and I'm still trying to figure out exactly why I love it so much. Another observation I've made is that some people can like tickling, but not like being tickled. Like my girlfriend again for example. She likes tickling me (she's never said she does, but you can just tell), but doesn't really enjoy being tickled. Unless it's not too aggressive. I believe that if you tickle anyone lightly, they will like it. There's only a select few people out there who you can have the crap tickled out of them and thoroughly enjoy it. So yeah, that's my little observation about tickling. Any thoughts? Thoughts are always appreciated. 🙂

 

[tcrewme]

A BIG reason people don't like being tickled!!!

drummer_punk

I will give you a big reason that tickling in general, whether lady or man is that tickling takes away all control from the ticklee and full control to the tickler.

Some/Most people cannot take not being in control and tickling takes away any sense of control.

That is why in BDSM circles is that while spanking is fully
wanted/accepted, tickling is NOT! It's not that tickling is light, far from it!!! It is that the sub has to give up full control, the sub still has some control over the situation.

Tickling basically comes down to those who will give over control to the tickler.
See how many "willing" ticklee's will let you blindfold them!!!
Now that is a loss of control, esp. when they feel my 2 inch hairbrush begin to "saw" just under their toes, with freshly applied baby oil. 😉

 

[Double T]

Now just a cotton pickin' minute!

Tcrew, while it is true that the basis of tickleplay is for the lee to give up control, in reality, the lee is always in control, evedenced by the use of safewords, pre-agreed upon limits and such. Were it any other way, our favorite passtime could become unplasant, painful, and downright dangerous! If I thougt a ler would not resect my right to control the pace and severity of the action, i would not let her anywhere near me. The lee must always be in control, and, if (s)he is ignorant of this fact, then they must be informed. There must be complete trust, above all, between participants before any action starts, and I think I'll be supported in saying so. Now to the original question. Why do some like being tickled, and others hate it? Well, I like anchovies on my pizza. I know people who would rather go hungry that eat one. That's pesonal preference. Some might have had a traumatic, or very unpleasant experience regarding tickling (There's that control thing again), and are understandably adverse to it. Then there are those, like so many of us used to think, "Am I the only one?", and fear there is something wrong with them. I only hope that all those find an understanding partner, or at least their way here, so they can see how many more of us there really are. So, that's my two cents. Tickle on!

 

[Ayla ny]

there is something very beautiful about giving yourself over to someone, mind and body, but it takes absolute trust. that is what makes it so beautiful.

I agree that intense tickling can become ‘torturous’ but I also think that if the tickler can read you and is concerned about it being good for the ticklee too, then even torturous can be good. if you feel safe in the hands of your tickler, then it only reaffirms that you have given yourself over completely. that, in itself, is as exciting to me as any of the tickling. of course, this can only work in a very close relationship. for more casual play, I’m sure that a safeword is a good idea.

why do some people find it to be a little bit of heaven and others just can’t stand it? I think it’s has more to do with your mindset than how ticklish you are. I have actually wished that I were a little less ticklish (no gasping please! lol) at times. only because it would take a little longer to get over that edge. so if it were a matter of hating it because you are just too ticklish... well, I would hate it. but because of my mindset, I can’t.

from everything I have read, I am a little bit different. I didn’t know what, if anything, could fill this un-named need I had. sometimes I came close but there was always that ‘something’ I was missing. I was lucky enough to discover what it was a few years ago... (thank God for the internet) and looking back over my life, it just makes perfect sense. but I did not know ‘since birth’ like so many of you. so, believe it or not, you are lucky if you have been into it for as long as you can remember. I missed out on a lot of tickling! lol

fortunately for me, this injustice will soon be rectified. 🙂 (I trust you completely, Boom)

to sum it up neatly: giving yourself, completely, to someone is wonderful and tickling is the best way I can think of to do just that.

not to mention the laugher, the squirming, the... well, you know. 🙂

 

[Boomtown13]

I trust you completely, Boom

And I am so honored by that gift that I can't treat you with anything less than my highest respect. When you give yourself to me, and we feast on all the sensual and all the intense tickleplay that we can eat... your well-being, your enjoyment, your preciousness, will rule my actions.

You'll be in an ecstacy of ticklishness, and we'll both love every second of it.

Boom

 

[drummer_punk]

Thank you

Thank you all for your replies. They have helped a lot. There are indeed a number of ways to view tickling. It's definitely an amazing subject if you really look into it.

 

[footman25]

drummer_punk, your situation with your girlfriend is exactly the same as mine!.She hates it (says she does) but initiates a tickle fight at any opportunity.She always loses and complains how much she hates it but the next day she will start another tickle fight🙂.I just think some people are turned on by it more than others but at the end of the day it is a form of foreplay in most people's brains,just my humble opinion.

Greetings from UK.Happy tickling everybody.

 

[BigJim]

Hmmm, good question. In thinking of an answer I remembered reading the write-up of one of Jeff's videos. A girl was being tickled by her boyfriend and in between tickling he'd sometimes draws his fingernails up the inside of one thigh "drawing forth a long, drawn out coo of pleasure." I guess this is what you might have been refering to as light tickling? I think if it's so light as to be almost stroking, then most women will find it pleasurable if it's in what they'd consider an errogenous zone.

 

[drummer_punk]

footman25: Yeah, it definitely sounds like we have the EXACT same dilemma. Although it's not all that bad. I do enjoy tickle fights 🙂 And I agree with all you said 100%.

BigJim: Yeah, that's what I was talking about when I said "light tickling". I think if you tickle just about anyone in a certain spot slowly and lightly enough, they will like it.

 

[tcrewme]

Re: Now just a cotton pickin' minute!

Tcrew, while it is true that the basis of tickleplay is for the lee to give up control, in reality, the lee is always in control, evedenced by the use of safewords, pre-agreed upon limits and such. Were it any other way, our favorite passtime could become unplasant, painful, and downright dangerous! If I thougt a ler would not resect my right to control the pace and severity of the action, i would not let her anywhere near me. The lee must always be in control, and, if (s)he is ignorant of this fact, then they must be informed. There must be complete trust, above all, between participants before any action starts, and I think I'll be supported in saying so.

Hey, here's where that thread went!!!🙄

Double_T...let me clarify a bit...
You are absolutely correct that the lee is in control, or should be!
It absolutely comes down to trust, but there is that fear some people have of giving over that much trust to someone.
That is in general, not just tickling!
Oh yeah, if you don't respect your lee in all ways, you will never ler that person again! Without a lee there is no ler.

Drummer_punk, have you mentioned to your girlfriend what Double_T is saying: Have you set up save words, or boundaries. Explained that she would be in control.

 

[drummer_punk]

That is a great idea, tcrewme, I will suggest safe words and let her know that she will be in control. Thanks.