Still feel out of place

[Katie Pants]

When I first came to this site and learned that there were others like me, I was overjoyed and for the first time felt proud of who I was. But lately I've been feeling a bit downtrodden because even in this community I feel like a minority. It just seems like there are so many more lers than lees out there, either that or they're getting way more attention. In tickling videos, it's always the same thing: a ler has a helpless lee tied up, and the torture begins. Why is it always torture? Why can't it be the lee who's asking for it? I mean, even in videos where the lee is clearly enjoying it, they try to play it off like they're being tortured against their will. Why?

The bottom line is that I don't feel truly accepted yet, and the age-old question from my childhood is resurfacing: am I weird if I genuinely enjoy being tickled?
Is anyone else feeling this way?

 

[Tickler15]

No you are not weird...in fact what is normal? Some psycho-sexual researchers have began calling us "non-traditional" instead of deviant....tell us, what would you like to see more of?

 

[barefeetarebest]

No you are not weird for feeling this way. Many others do too. Vids are produced in this manner typically for sales, and generally what sells is the torture aspect. I tend to enjoy both.

 

[cloudgazer2k]

I know I've been there a few times, especially recently. All I can offer is this: You aren't alone in so many ways. Some people here try so hard to find that person that would fit into their life and be willing to accept their nature, their quirks and addictions.

Keep in mind, though, as you look close to the media being presented to us. There's more and more material being released where the 'lee wants what's coming to them. Where they ask for it. I can recall a RealTickling video with Gwen Diamond, where she demands to be tickled even more than what she's experiencing. Slowly but surely, we see more real life couples that do engage in tickling, bondage, and other forms of play. We get to view a bit of their lives as these couples relay stories about how this session or that one played out.

Only other thing I can say is that the feeling of never being accepted may never go away. It hasn't for me, especially on this forum or in other groups like this. Best thing to do is go about your business and enjoy what life offers you. If you just keep on keeping on, you may even realize that you have been accepted for some time, but were too busy having fun and doing what you need to do for you to notice.

 

[ThePatriot]

Because then, there'd be no conflict... (?) (Always my answer to anything remotely film-related.)

In context to the norm, everyone on this forum is weird. But "the norm" and what it means to be "normal" is largely a false perception. And until that perception is broken, we may never feel truly accepted. (I blame the media.)

But you most certainly are not weird. Far from it.

Chin up, Katie.

 

[Amnesiac]

This is easy to explain actually.

Like any fetish community, we have our collection of fairly well-adjusted people and our...well, socially awkward shut-ins. Now, having a tickling fetish didn't MAKE them shut-ins, but it didn't help what must have been an already unpleasant lifetime.

When the TMF and fetish networking came available, both sides were able to interact with each other. As time went on, the well-adjusted people managed to grow and change, and find the happy balance of tickling in their lives and communication. They were able to mix tickling and their regular daily life in equal measure, more or less successfully; they didn't NEED to talk tickling 24-7 and were able to enjoy tickling in a variety of ways.

The OTHER group never enjoyed this and as a result, had a WHOLE LOTTA TIME to flood the forum with a lot of discussions about tickling that are the fetish equivalent to keeping a handful of naked teenagers in a pit in the basement. Therefore, while the rest of us spend our time living life and writing about silly stuff when we're on the forum, the others tend to dominate the forum with constant discussions about feet, armpits and other ritualistic, totemic interests of "tickling as torture only" and pouring over clips by video producers that have a kidnapping/non-con feel to them; producers keep making them because they sell.

The good news is that there's a lot of media (mostly fiction) out there that focuses on the fun aspects of tickling, you just have to sift through it. I recommend starting with the works from MTJ Publishing and Agencies; they also use the torture-related stuff, but the work is also pretty varied, more so than what you'll find in the free archives here.

Not to sound like a broken record or shameless shill, but one of the BEST consensual tickling clips ever made is the classic "Erin Loves to be Tickle Tortured" video by Yaqisworld; another is the extremely-intense-tickling-as-delicious-fun video "Symphony of Laughs" by the Evil Ticklers. The Jordan clips from jpbfc and a number of clips from Boston Tickling are equally good and focus on the playful back-and-forth between playmates.

If you're interested, you can find these things here:
http://www.clips4sale.com/2507
http://clips4sale.com/store/510 or http://www.clips4sale.com/studio/4130
http://www.clips4sale.com/38230
http://www.jpbfc.com/public/CD-Video/DownloadClips/CatalogMain.php?Modelname=Jordan&Theme=all (I recommend "Tickling Chairfixed" series)
And one of the most criminally underrated "torture as fun" producers is Knismo of
http://www.clips4sale.com/studio/2152

So NO, you are NOT weird. In fact, feeling weird about it is what often drives most of the socially awkward people further and further into their shut-inness until their interests become nothing more than a release behavior and has no intimate/interpersonal connection whatsoever. You just have to develop a more discerning eye.

 

[love feet]

you are not weird at all
I do wish there was more of just the fun/gentle playful side of tickling to!!

 

[Jagermeistered]

Amnesiac: You hit the spot!

 

[Coda]

Katie,

Since video producers are usually in business, naturally they try to make videos that they think the majority of people will want. I think there's way more room for artistry and variety in tickling clips.

I wouldn't use that as your litmus test for whether this is the right forum for you. If you don't feel like your specific interest is represented here, feel free to express that interest more openly. You'll attract others who share it, and you won't be criticized for it. (If you are, people can be blocked or ignored, or if it's really bad, reported.) You might even interest or educate others who haven't thought about tickling from your perspective.

 

[Maestro1874]

Well, at least real life doesn't match the videos. Mostly. Every lee I've gotten to play with was clearly aroused and pleased by the tickling. (One in fact said "That's all?!" after three hours of play. Yes, I cheerfully provided more!) This is part of what makes it so hot for me, so I understand your point about the "Everyone is miserably tortured" thing.

Don't worry, there are PLENTY of us more or less like you. 🙂

 

[LB_Ticklingisfun]

Katie,
I'm right with you. I tend to prefer the videos where the lee is enjoying it instead of where they appear to be "tortured". Three sites I have found that I've found to have several along those lines are:
Tickechicks- http://www.ticklechicks.com
Laughter Is Beautiful Productions http://clips4sale.com/studio/7018 (they have alot of videos where the lee is not tied down as well)
And http://clips4sale.com/studio/5870 by MTPJeff
Hope that helps abit.

 

[socktickler86]

I don't think you'll find anyone here who thinks you're weird for wanting to be tickled! I personally love it a lot more than tickling someone. To me it's actually a bit boring tickling someone... sure you hear a laugh or two, but there's nothing better than being the one doing the laughing! 🙂

 

[Morpheus72]

In tickling videos, it's always the same thing: a ler has a helpless lee tied up, and the torture begins. Why is it always torture? Why can't it be the lee who's asking for it? I mean, even in videos where the lee is clearly enjoying it, they try to play it off like they're being tortured against their will. Why?

The bottom line is that I don't feel truly accepted yet, and the age-old question from my childhood is resurfacing: am I weird if I genuinely enjoy being tickled?
Is anyone else feeling this way?

You're not as much in the minority as you think, Katie. I also prefer the less torturous side of tickling and having the recipient both desire and enjoy the time. Feeling out of place is understandable, but most of the people around here do seem pretty understanding of differences within this interest. I feel as you do sometimes, but I don't let it become a big deal. I have a good life and enjoy this forum as entertainment. That's what I'd recommend to everyone.

Dave

 

[Tickler15]

I guess what we are saying here Katie....is don't feel out of place here....we all accept here everyone here.

 

[rhiannon]

I don't see how enjoying being tickled rules out the torture aspect. I love being tickled, but still - it is torture after a while. And that's part of what I enjoy! 🙂

 

[seanwoj]

Dont feel outta place. You're just a crazy as everyone else here. 😛 😀

 

[P_Bustleton]

Amnesiac is right about the individual psychology of the matter, Katie. People who have real-life outlets are less likely to use the forum. In real life, it's a LOT easier for 'lees. (As a switch, trust me on this one.)

Tickling is pretty normal in a "vanilla" relationship, especially if the people are playful. (And from your profile, I gather you're a nerd like me and also have friends who are quite "silly" and not afraid to look ridiculous.)
People like you who enjoy being tickled might not even consider it a "fetish" and would never think to look online in the first place. I dated a girl who loved to be tickled, but she wouldn't have considered it a fetish. She once said "there's no such thing as too much tickling." I made her change her mind.

I find it hard to imagine playful tickling NOT being part of a healthy relationship. I had two friends who dated for a long time (they're married now), and somehow the guy was being tickled. The girl said "wow, I didn't know you were ticklish!" This was after they had dated for two years. I was rather surprised.

At NEST people sometimes share the nature of our gathering with outsiders. You'll pleased to know that the response is almost always positive, and people often want to know more.

I urge you to pursue normal relationships at college with people you enjoy being with, and make you laugh--without touching you. Bring up tickling when things get hot. If the guy (or girl) won't at least indulge you, you'll know you're with the wrong person.

 

[JBgood]

There is no need to feel that liking to be the -lee and not finding the tickling to be torturous in any way makes you weird Katie. This passion is as individual as those that enjoy it, and you are going to find a myriad number of ways and expressions of it being enjoyed. As a -ler, I enjoy any type of tickling that is enjoyable for my -lee, from the playful to the torturous and all stops in between. Some crave the torturous aspect, as it allows them to give up all control and just float away on the sensations, while many just like the wonderful shiver caused by a fingertip finding one of those particularly sensitive spots. I hope that you don't give up on the site or on finding someone that truly understands your ticklish desires as you wish them to. I can speak from experience that it is truly the most wonderful connections in the world and well worth being patient and waiting for it.

 

[Tickler15]

There is no need to feel that liking to be the -lee and not finding the tickling to be torturous in any way makes you weird Katie. This passion is as individual as those that enjoy it, and you are going to find a myriad number of ways and expressions of it being enjoyed. As a -ler, I enjoy any type of tickling that is enjoyable for my -lee, from the playful to the torturous and all stops in between. Some crave the torturous aspect, as it allows them to give up all control and just float away on the sensations, while many just like the wonderful shiver caused by a fingertip finding one of those particularly sensitive spots. I hope that you don't give up on the site or on finding someone that truly understands your ticklish desires as you wish them to. I can speak from experience that it is truly the most wonderful connections in the world and well worth being patient and waiting for it.

 

[Abel]

The age old question of "am i weird?" eh? Short answer? No, no you´re not. The longer one? A whole lot of crap about "what is normal in the first place?" Frankly the people who posted before me all pretty much said what needs to be said but perhaps you´ll find yourself reassured.

To me connections between people always seem hopelessly complicated. Complicated to the degree that i often wonder if it´s all even worth the trouble in the end. I can´t really offer much from a Lee´s perspective (1. i do not know if i even am ticklish 2. my environment isn´t exactly big on displays of affection in that we´d keep hugging or tickling and whatnot). What i can offer you is my opinion as a Ler (all this time here and describing myself with such terms still feels weird^^). I for one certainly don´t mind "torturous" tickling. What´s the fun if the reaction isn´t all there? However the most important part to me (if i´d ever actually got to play in RL) is that the Lee WANTS it. Heck i can be really sensitive about that topic. Call me weird but the idea of really tickling a non-Lee for any real amount of time is decidedly uncomfortable to me. Videos i can pretty much watch because it comes down to "That person agreed to do this". Stories on this board that contain tickling with unwilling subjects that are honestly tortured by tickling...get me angry like nobodies business even if the stories themsevles are tame(and well written too). A personality quirk i suppose.

Sometimes i feel weird for reacting so strongly negative to a mere story. A tickling story getting a person that really likes tickling angry. Now there´s weird for you. Don´t you worry, there are plenty of people around (and many might just be unwilling to post...like me) so there´s gotta be plenty of people similar to you around.

 

[TMJ Productions]

"In tickling videos, it's always the same thing: a ler has a helpless lee tied up, and the torture begins. Why is it always torture? Why can't it be the lee who's asking for it? I mean, even in videos where the lee is clearly enjoying it, they try to play it off like they're being tortured against their will. Why?"

You are watching the wrong videos LOL
It's not always the same!!

 

[scorpionldr]

When I first came to this site and learned that there were others like me, I was overjoyed and for the first time felt proud of who I was. But lately I've been feeling a bit downtrodden because even in this community I feel like a minority. It just seems like there are so many more lers than lees out there, either that or they're getting way more attention. In tickling videos, it's always the same thing: a ler has a helpless lee tied up, and the torture begins. Why is it always torture? Why can't it be the lee who's asking for it? I mean, even in videos where the lee is clearly enjoying it, they try to play it off like they're being tortured against their will. Why?

The bottom line is that I don't feel truly accepted yet, and the age-old question from my childhood is resurfacing: am I weird if I genuinely enjoy being tickled?
Is anyone else feeling this way?

I once described to someone that having a tickling fetish is kind of like having to walk on eggshells at all times; There's no magic ability to just say "I like to tickle/be tickled" to someone else, because they either look at you like your an affection starved creep, or they complain about being ticklish because they think its so much more justifiably worse than having to get off from it.

 

[Jagermeistered]

I enjoy bluntness and honesty, but let's get off the eggshells. I have a foot fetish, and outside the Internet, that's like walking on broken glass - not really now that I'm older. That's why we have forums like this! Too enjoy our craziness and more importantly: Individuality!

 

[scorpionldr]

I enjoy bluntness and honesty, but let's get off the eggshells. I have a foot fetish, and outside the Internet, that's like walking on broken glass - not really now that I'm older. That's why we have forums like this! Too enjoy our craziness and more importantly: Individuality!

and how many people off this site do you actually know in person?