I honestly don't think it is meant as a "putdown"
If one can't call a woman a "girl", then why is it okay to say.
"My girlfriend" or "My boyfriend".
Logically, I would say that any woman over the age of.. 30.. should probably be referred to as "Woman", even if a guy that's dating her still says.
"X woman (Whatever her name is) is my "girlfriend".
I find the term "guys" when used when referring to men very troubling...
Good girl
I'll admit it's a habit I'm trying really hard to break. I've never meant it as a put down, but if women are telling us they don't like it, then I'll make an effort to respect that. Thanks for sharing the video!
If ‘likes’ were available, I’d use it for this.
I’ve never quite understood the defensiveness from some people when someone else asks to not use a word or term around them. It takes the least amount of effort.
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First thing I have to say is this:
(The woman in the video is completely full of shit by 13 seconds in. 13 seconds. Lying.
She's at a bar with two guys and one says to the other, looking across the bar - look at that girl, she's beautiful.
The way she said it, the voice she used to mimic the man tells it all. No way in Hell she thought he was talking about a child, that's a lie. She's not an idiot, she knows men call women girls. She did look around wondering about a child, total fucking lie. 13 seconds in. Sorry, I have to do this. See? Lying Matters, words have meaning.)
I struggled with this myself a few years ago, probably right after hitting forty. "Girls" just didn't work anymore and though I'd still use "girlfriend" if it came up, probably, and respond to it in the affirmative or even use it myself if I was using it to clarify something or explain something...it's not how I think anymore. Now I say things like, "I'm going out with a woman I know..." And I hate it because it makes everyone sound older. Me, her, both of us now sound over 40 and over the hill. I know it's silly but it's but for me, it's the truth.
We have to be very careful with all this. Honestly, I think it's kind of ridiculous and we're all victims of offense-sensitivity. We choose to be offended, or at least that's what all the major religions and high-end philosophies teach us...no one can offend me unless I let 'em. And like that, and I rarely choose to be offended. This world certainly needs an overhaul, our society is completely fucked and causes people to murder themselves with drugs and hang themselves in fucking bathrooms. If there are urgent vocabulary changes needing to be made I'm down, and if that has a huge effect on the world - all the better.
What I'm not so sure about is picking out tiny things one by one that maybe don't seem so important, and using those tiny things to separate ourselves...to find alienation where none really exists. We talk about being "woke" these days, about opening our eyes or having our eyes opened, so when our eyes are opened to a certain small thing, like a word, a word that in itself is not offensive until it's applied to the wrong people, (which is what we're talking about,) then it becomes a bit dodgy.
It scares me that we keep finding new ways to offend each other...things we're doing wrong, things to be concerned about that you didn't even realize were wrong until someone pointed it out to you. Then you feel like an idiot...or a dick, or you think the person who pointed it out is an idiot or a dick...or worse. We're separating ourselves into smaller and smaller special interests groups and each one is demanding to pursue it's happiness at the expense of everyone else. It's scary and it's all because of the internet.1
Have to say, very disappointed with Myim Bialik...that lie was obvious and silly and I respect the woman otherwise, I really do. But that made a dent in my respect for her, it sure did.
Most of this, IrvingKrebb, is privileged people with a lot of time on their hands who whine and complain about utterly trivial nonsense....on the internet.
In real life if they voiced these complaints to people, those people would laugh in their face, and if you kept on, they'd walk away from them and they would spend a lot of time alone.
Obviously the people who post these trivial complaints will insist they have thousands of friends, and can barely leave the house with all the friends waiting in their yard to meet them.
I know people who act like these perpetually offended types in real life...and ALL of them are alone and miserable. People complain about them. Co-workers don't want to work around them,
because you can't tell jokes in their presence, they are always "correcting" you about some stupid bullshit, and when they're not around, there is much laughter and fun. When people have to tolerate them,
everyone just waits until they leave the room so they can be themselves.
Hell, yesterday I watched a female nurse address a male patient as "babe," and the patient didn't bat an eye lash and they just did their thing. People will call me "honey," or "boy" and I could care less, because I
know they obviously mean no harm. I mean, how miserable must life be to walk around on a hair trigger, just waiting to be offended by every word everyone says?
I have utter contempt for most of them, because they've made life miserable for so many people, but when I'm in a generous mood, I feel kind of sad for them. They have accepted the perpetual victim life style,
and most I know are single and profoundly unhappy when they're not making people feel bad about themselves. "You've offended me! Don't you feel bad about yourself?!! You must feel so bad to be such a horrible inferior
person because you offended me!!!" Who the hell wants to deal with that at any time?
But then these people want significant others, and since no one would date that much drama, they whine...every....day....on Facebook ....about not having any guys like them. (Or girls for the men, I know one or two
virtue signalers that non-stop complain about their lack of women ….in between posts about how much they "understaaand" women.)
I think what's going to slowly happen is, people will leave this "lifestyle" of victimhood behind and re-engage the real world. Meanwhile, there will still be the whiny folks online who live that way and be miserable, but they'll be
left in bubbles, everyone agreeing with everyone else because the normal folks are out there living and being normal and having a blast.
I don't see why it's so hard to just call people what they want to be called, or refrain from calling them what they don't want to be called.
Because ten different people will give you ten different, often contradictory, ways to call them? And that's not even counting the delusional people who "identify" as whatever trendy things they conceived in that little sick brain of theirs? Some identify as vegetables, or attack helicopters; imagine that.
Because if you start worrying about offending people before you say anything, you'll end up saying nothing at all because someone, somewhere WILL always be offended.
Irving said it best: you're offended only if you *want* to be. I say the so-called "offensive thing" is an excuse for people to silence others. It's orwellian. I say if it's offensive, chances are it's probably worth saying.
You can remember ten different people's names, can't you?
No one's asking to be called an attack helicopter or a vegetable.
It's not oppression to ask someone to respect another person, and it's not "striking a blow for freedom" to disrespect someone.
What Chicago and Myriam Byalik are asking here is that everyone conforms to their standard. Someone says "my girls" like a teacher would say "my students" and bam! They climb on their white horse and start saying that they know better than them what other grown women would rather be called. I take exception to that.
Chicago wants to be called a woman? That's what she is, so no problem. However, I doubt many women would take offense when their friends encourage them on the sports field, shouting: "You go, girl! Go get'em girl!" etc... And I'd feel really uncomfortable if she went around telling them they can't do it because she takes offense. See, it's not as much what people want for themselves as much as a frightening attempt to police others. I don't go around telling people what they can or cannot say.
Also don't confuse disrespecting and offending. The good folk at Charlie Hebdo lived and died for the right to offend. Salman Rushdie is living under a death sentence because he exercised his right to offend. Raif Badawi gets tortured every Friday because of a similar offense. See my friend, the right to offend, it's got a name. It's called freedom of speech.
When you say something, anything really, someone, somewhere will be offended. And when the person or group offended is powerful, oppression ensues. Look what happens in Saudi Arabia, China or Iran. Since in the USA you guys have the 1st amendment, oppression translates into more subtle forms, such as the practice of political correctness. Orwell called that Newspeak. It's the same process though: a powerful minority defines a set of rules that the majority must follow under threat of sanctions. Such as losing one's job, sponsors, etc... Call it what you want, it's still oppression.
The irony here is that the same people who routinely decry political correctness on this forum seem to the most triggered by this post. It's cute how people are like "hey don't get so offended" when it's obvious this post has gotten their own panties all in a wad. Maybe they're just in need of those safe spaces they so frequently mock lol
I can't argue with a guy who uses the word "snowflake" seriously. You win. Sorry Chicago wouldn't go out with you partner.
I find the term "guys" when used when referring to men very troubling... I am offended that my feelings were challenged. Now where is that darn safe place of mine!?!
I find the term "guys" when used when referring to men very troubling...
"Guys" is not a term that implies age, but if you do feel that way, I would recommend correcting those around you gently and politely to use other terms.