I've been trying to digest the material to post here to TMF, about “scene aftercare” that my friend Chris M. submitted a few years ago to some other forums, when I realized that it would be almost meaningless without prefacing it with an article on “head-space” and “sub-space” in adult erotic play. I based most of this on information that Jen (nnjen) presented very well in some other tickle groups exactly one year ago today (and kept on file as archival info).
Spenser
“Head-space” and “sub space” are curious states of mind which are described subjectively by bottoms who engage in intense erotic fetish play, like sm, spanking, and yes, even tickling. These terms are frequently used among the BDSM community, but they can apply to the subjective experience that partners experience during very intense tickle sessions just as well. And thus, it is very important that ticklees and ticklers as well be aware and observant for when these states begin to show up.
While “head-space” and “sub space” –may— be used almost interchangeably, “head-space” describes a lightly to moderately altered state of consciousness, arriving from and caused by the psychological moment and the physiological stimulus that’s going on during heavy tickling or other intense erotic play. “Sub-space” can be thought of as a sort of personal variant of “head-space”, where the subject self-perceives the role of submission and/or surrender to the source of the stimulation.
“Sub-space” results from intense physical stimulus (certainly as in SM or tickling play, is a bodily response by producing a sudden flow of body’s natural neural or brain chemicals, Endorphins (akin to and often alongside Adrenalins) released into the body and the mind. This allows the body to adapt in a strange way to more easily tolerate the stimulus going on, and the mind may even begin to confuse the stimulus with much pleasurable input. These Endorphins, also released during orgasm, account for feelings of an almost narcotic blissful euphoric feeling afterwards.
Though tickling is not a pain stimulus, it does cause a frantic “flee” reaction in the ticklee, and the stronger the tickling the greater freeing and fighting effort the ticklee puts into attempting to avoid the tickling, and it can get to be intensely uncomfortable and disconcerting, the body really reacting got this distress.
If the whole scenario is taking place between a couple, and the ticklee is feeling an emotion of great “trust” or perhaps even given over to willing and surrendered resignation to the tickling (even torturous tickling) at the hands of a deeply trusted tickler, this euphoric “head-space” can convert into a submissive “sub-space”. Many times ticklees and other sensation “bottoms” and submissives report the condition as “flying”.
”Subspace” is the state that one flees to, to escape the sensations because physical circuits are intense and approaching overload. A ticklee in “sub-space” may look as though she/he is not completely “there”; flying off or “escaping ” to a place where trust is completely placed in the hands of the tickler. In that place the mind is aware of the “pleasure” rising from the stimulus and can even focus on it, accept and even enjoy the intensity of what’s going on.
To ensure that tickling play at parties and socials goes on “safely” it’s important that these reactions to tickling be known and shared with the community. Again, experienced players have seen them, and even though they may look a little bit different in each ticklee victim, they are essentially the same bodily and mental-emotional reactions.
Newcomers to intense adult tickle play who meet each other privately may not be aware of these reactions when they first encounter them, both tickler and ticklee, and my not know how to react to them at first! That’s another strong reason for putting this information in this Forum, where it will be read hopefully the largest number of people jumping into erotic tickle play.
When a ticklee goes into “sub-space” during a tickling scene, she/he may not be able to recognize risks (such as from impaired breathing) or to communicate the need for the tickling to stop and say a safe-word, or make a safe-signal. This does force a lot of responsibility on both the ticklee, to carefully inform the tickle play partner about this stress reaction that she/he gets, and on the tickler to be very watchful for these reactions when the occur. This stuff should be part of the NEGOTIATION process discussed before the tickle play begins. Experienced ticklers should be knowledgeable enough to see the reactions of the ticklee, and know when it’s time to ease up and/or quit. If the ticklee has reached the point where she/he no longer responds coherently, the tickler should observe breathing (for inability to actually ‘get’ a decent breath) and muscle reactions (for given over to general weakness), and use these as clues to ease up or stop, and allow the ticklee to “return to the ground”
Turning “head-space” into “sub-space” is an almost unconscious turning into or voluntary surrendering, a giving up of mindful control of the situation. Experiencing this “sub-space” as delicious as it can be requires a strong trust between partners, that every measure of watchfulness will be used by the tickler or “tickle-top” to ensure the ticklee is just riding that crest of emotion and sensation, and easing up when necessary to enable that euphoria to be experienced and not taken to the point of abject terror and breathlessness.
[Risks when playing with asthmatics is another subject altogether, as we do have a few in the community.]
For the ticklee, the experience of “sub-space is very very real! It can be a destination that new ticklees fantasize about, romanticize, and hope to attain. From many tickle-bottoms (and tickle-sub’s) viewpoint, “undergoing “sub-space” while enduring intense tickling or other stimulus for many bottoms can be far more richly and erotically rewarding than any satisfaction from traditional “vanilla” love play only! “Coming” while being tickled is like icing on the wonderful delicious chocolate cake of fetish play.
I have known several women (and many sub-males) who’ve reported a sensual satisfaction from erotic “sub-space” that they were never able to get from “normal” sexual stimulation. Many of these are then able to use this induced “sub-space” from fetish play (like tickling) to enhance and even –renew-- satisfaction from more traditional stimulation and emotion. In other words enabling new and full richness and heights of sensual experience that we kinksters are aware of and that the “normal mundane vanilla” population will never even get a hint at!
With a lover or trusted partner the “sub” can experience a fullness of trust, with that partner, that multiplies these experiences of intense concentrated awareness and pleasure, charged even more by knowing they are sharing the excitement of ‘forbidden’ kinky fun. Play at these levels is deeply intimate. It is not easily or speedily learned, but really achieved through good trusting and safe play experiences.
The ancients used to say along this vein, “The mystical experience is subjective, to describe it objectively to others is very difficult.”
Spenser
“Head-space” and “sub space” are curious states of mind which are described subjectively by bottoms who engage in intense erotic fetish play, like sm, spanking, and yes, even tickling. These terms are frequently used among the BDSM community, but they can apply to the subjective experience that partners experience during very intense tickle sessions just as well. And thus, it is very important that ticklees and ticklers as well be aware and observant for when these states begin to show up.
While “head-space” and “sub space” –may— be used almost interchangeably, “head-space” describes a lightly to moderately altered state of consciousness, arriving from and caused by the psychological moment and the physiological stimulus that’s going on during heavy tickling or other intense erotic play. “Sub-space” can be thought of as a sort of personal variant of “head-space”, where the subject self-perceives the role of submission and/or surrender to the source of the stimulation.
“Sub-space” results from intense physical stimulus (certainly as in SM or tickling play, is a bodily response by producing a sudden flow of body’s natural neural or brain chemicals, Endorphins (akin to and often alongside Adrenalins) released into the body and the mind. This allows the body to adapt in a strange way to more easily tolerate the stimulus going on, and the mind may even begin to confuse the stimulus with much pleasurable input. These Endorphins, also released during orgasm, account for feelings of an almost narcotic blissful euphoric feeling afterwards.
Though tickling is not a pain stimulus, it does cause a frantic “flee” reaction in the ticklee, and the stronger the tickling the greater freeing and fighting effort the ticklee puts into attempting to avoid the tickling, and it can get to be intensely uncomfortable and disconcerting, the body really reacting got this distress.
If the whole scenario is taking place between a couple, and the ticklee is feeling an emotion of great “trust” or perhaps even given over to willing and surrendered resignation to the tickling (even torturous tickling) at the hands of a deeply trusted tickler, this euphoric “head-space” can convert into a submissive “sub-space”. Many times ticklees and other sensation “bottoms” and submissives report the condition as “flying”.
”Subspace” is the state that one flees to, to escape the sensations because physical circuits are intense and approaching overload. A ticklee in “sub-space” may look as though she/he is not completely “there”; flying off or “escaping ” to a place where trust is completely placed in the hands of the tickler. In that place the mind is aware of the “pleasure” rising from the stimulus and can even focus on it, accept and even enjoy the intensity of what’s going on.
To ensure that tickling play at parties and socials goes on “safely” it’s important that these reactions to tickling be known and shared with the community. Again, experienced players have seen them, and even though they may look a little bit different in each ticklee victim, they are essentially the same bodily and mental-emotional reactions.
Newcomers to intense adult tickle play who meet each other privately may not be aware of these reactions when they first encounter them, both tickler and ticklee, and my not know how to react to them at first! That’s another strong reason for putting this information in this Forum, where it will be read hopefully the largest number of people jumping into erotic tickle play.
When a ticklee goes into “sub-space” during a tickling scene, she/he may not be able to recognize risks (such as from impaired breathing) or to communicate the need for the tickling to stop and say a safe-word, or make a safe-signal. This does force a lot of responsibility on both the ticklee, to carefully inform the tickle play partner about this stress reaction that she/he gets, and on the tickler to be very watchful for these reactions when the occur. This stuff should be part of the NEGOTIATION process discussed before the tickle play begins. Experienced ticklers should be knowledgeable enough to see the reactions of the ticklee, and know when it’s time to ease up and/or quit. If the ticklee has reached the point where she/he no longer responds coherently, the tickler should observe breathing (for inability to actually ‘get’ a decent breath) and muscle reactions (for given over to general weakness), and use these as clues to ease up or stop, and allow the ticklee to “return to the ground”
Turning “head-space” into “sub-space” is an almost unconscious turning into or voluntary surrendering, a giving up of mindful control of the situation. Experiencing this “sub-space” as delicious as it can be requires a strong trust between partners, that every measure of watchfulness will be used by the tickler or “tickle-top” to ensure the ticklee is just riding that crest of emotion and sensation, and easing up when necessary to enable that euphoria to be experienced and not taken to the point of abject terror and breathlessness.
[Risks when playing with asthmatics is another subject altogether, as we do have a few in the community.]
For the ticklee, the experience of “sub-space is very very real! It can be a destination that new ticklees fantasize about, romanticize, and hope to attain. From many tickle-bottoms (and tickle-sub’s) viewpoint, “undergoing “sub-space” while enduring intense tickling or other stimulus for many bottoms can be far more richly and erotically rewarding than any satisfaction from traditional “vanilla” love play only! “Coming” while being tickled is like icing on the wonderful delicious chocolate cake of fetish play.
I have known several women (and many sub-males) who’ve reported a sensual satisfaction from erotic “sub-space” that they were never able to get from “normal” sexual stimulation. Many of these are then able to use this induced “sub-space” from fetish play (like tickling) to enhance and even –renew-- satisfaction from more traditional stimulation and emotion. In other words enabling new and full richness and heights of sensual experience that we kinksters are aware of and that the “normal mundane vanilla” population will never even get a hint at!
With a lover or trusted partner the “sub” can experience a fullness of trust, with that partner, that multiplies these experiences of intense concentrated awareness and pleasure, charged even more by knowing they are sharing the excitement of ‘forbidden’ kinky fun. Play at these levels is deeply intimate. It is not easily or speedily learned, but really achieved through good trusting and safe play experiences.
The ancients used to say along this vein, “The mystical experience is subjective, to describe it objectively to others is very difficult.”
