Suggests Please

[lpdecca]

Hi All,
I am very nervous about writing this as I have never expierenced this,and a little worried about being laughed at that is just who I am. I gess this is just the internet, and I'll never know LOL.
I am a woman of middle 40's. I was married to a bad man and divorced, him and married the man of my dreams,who is in his late 50's,and who helped me raise my children from my 1st marriage.
This is my predictament my husband doen't believe in playing,he never touches me in that way,I can't even say the word because it has never happened, because I am embarrassed that feel that way.
I believe beauty has alot to do with it , and I admit I am not goddess,but don't feel I am a dog either. I only weigh 115 at 5'5".
What do I do? I feel like I am going crazy, I want to feel what it would feel like, so what I do it come in here and read the writings, and watch the little clips, so maybe in my mind I can feel it. I am so ready to cry! Am I stupid or what. It only makes me dream harder for the "HANDS ON" Does this make me crazy?
I guess I wrote this because I needed to get it off my chest, and even though no one around me will ever know, some one out there in this forum understands. Thank You very much and Have a Wonderful Thanksgiving. God Bless

 

[milagros317]

Welcome to the TMF, Ipdecca, and congratulations on making your first post. 😀 This is a wonderful place, have fun here.

There are various other members here with spouses who are entirely uninterested in tickling in any way. You might want to PM with some women members in that situation.

The most straightforward thing for you to do would be to attend a gathering. Some people will tell you this is cheating on your husband, even if you remain almost fully clothed and are never touched in a sexual area while being tickled. That is for you to decide. Check the Gatherings forum to see when there's one near you.

 

[joeshushu]

I tickle ya. Is that cheating? 😀

 

[lpdecca]

as long as your intentions would be honorable I am not sure

 

[Myriads]

Hello Ipdecca,

Welcome to the forum. The advice that Mil provided above is good. But in the end you will need to decide what is right and wrong within the frame of your own morals.

I'm sure that many here will have good advice. I always tend toward the path of communication. If you husband is indeed a good man, even if it's embarassing a conversation might make a huge difference.

Myriads

 

[Wildtime]

Have you tried asking him?

Relationships involve the art of compromise. You've got desires, and most likely, so does he, so now is the time to communicate and find out how to fulfill each other 'in that way'! Does he have any fantasies (role-playing, fetish, bondage) which you could accommodate (and in turn he would be obligated to accommodate your fantasies)? You should explore that possibility...just be aware that fantasies never play out as well as one anticipates they should.

Also, don't dismiss the physiological factors in this particular equation. Believe it or not, a man's libido begins to wane around middle-age. To be blunt...he should consider viagra.

Finally, you need a lot more self-confidence in yourself. It took a lot of courage to leave a bad marriage (with kids in tow, no less), you deserve to be treated like a princess. Plus, you met the man of your dreams. There obviously was a strong enough attraction between the both of you to marry, so don't be so dismissive of yourself. You've been through a lot, so why not seek your just rewards?

 

[aurora5150]

first welcome to the forum 🙂

when i first found this place i was so happy. till i realized just how much i wante to experience the real thing. so i totally understand where you're comming from. however i don't have a marriage to consider.

i think the best thing you can do is talk to your husband. the worst thing would be to start keeping secrets. be honest and if your husband is indeed a good man, and by your account he sounds like one, hopefully he'll understand. you may even show him around the site after you start talking about your feelings.

just start out slow and casual and maybe bring up something he does like massage your neck and say "you know it tickles when you do that but it just makes it more enjoyable" that wasn't the most brilliant thing but it's honest. and i'm sure that some other members here will have a better opening approach for you. but you won't feel better until you tell him.

i hope things work out for you. you sound like a sweet person and have a happy thanksgiving as well. good luck.

 

[nylonsnfeet]

Communication....

Talking 2 your partner is definitley the 1st step. It can b a catch 22, not knowing how they will react. He needs 2 know it's what u enjoy & if he is the good man u say I would think he would react positively.

 

[Anna6-9]

Talk to him about it! I would say NO to going to a gathering! I made the mistake of tickling and being tickled by a guy from the TMF and my husband definetly considered it cheating. Dont risk a good thing for something you might get from Mister Right! My sister has been lacking in her sex life as well. She came over and we got wild and I showed her my world and what I do online. She went home (they hadnt even had sex in 2 months) started to tickle him and he tickled back. He doenst like to be tickled but enjoys making her squeel and they have been going at it like bunnies since. He is rather vanilla and would NEVER admit to having a fetish but he is enjoying it none the less! So maybe if your to embarassed to talk it through have a drink (or 2) and start it yourself. I hope this helps! And WELCOME to the forum!

 

[QBWeaver]

Prior to my current relationship I had never told anyone about my desire to be tickled. I personally always thought I was crazy and that I was the only one in the world with those inner cravings.

Then came the internet and tickling chat rooms on AOL and the websites like TMF. And of course there were gatherings and parties and such that I not only attended but quite often hosted.

Almost 2 years ago I reunited with a fellow I've known for over 35 years. We dated off and on but our paths didn't lead us to each other until now due to various circumstances.

I wanted to tell him my desires and was really scared to do that but I finally decided that I had to share this with him. He and I never kept secrets before so why should we now. The opportunity arose and I went ahead and laid it all out. I showed him the TMF website and he instantly joined and monitors the TMF regularly. We got into some bondage play time and it was wonderful. I get tickles all the time now. The funny part is that there have always been romantic tickles in our private time but I had never told him how much I loved it.

He was so open and receptive to the idea. I get the feeling that his desire is to ensure I have everything I could ever want or desire. If I want tickling he will make sure it's incorporated into our life together and he has done that and more.

Hopefully your husband is receptive to the idea as well. After all... it seems it would do nothing but make it more enjoyable for you.

And as Milagros said... a gathering might be the thing to do. There have been couples that have come to the gatherings where one person or the other has the desire and the other does not. It seems most of the time both of them got involved somehow.

I wish you all the luck in the world. Please keep us informed.

 

[drew70]

You need to find a way to bring up the topic to your husband in a way that's more comfortable for you than just throwing it out there. You need a way that appears to be natural even though it's something you planned.

For example, maybe while you are both sitting on the couch watching TV, you could ask him to scratch your back very lightly. Don't even mention the word, "tickle." After a minute or so, ask him to move the scratching out towards your sides. Soon he'll hit a ticklish spot, and you'll jump, giggle, etc. He may apologize and move back toward the center.

Tell him, "No it's okay, it felt really good. Could you do that some more?"

He may ask, "You LIKE to be tickled?"

You answer, "Yeah, I know it sounds a little crazy, but I really do."

Now I don't know if that scenario will work for you, but however you go about it, he needs to know this is what you need from him. It's not asking a lot, trust me.

Good luck!

 

[Babbles]

2 more cents, maybe redundant...

You need to find a way to bring up the topic to your husband in a way that's more comfortable for you than just throwing it out there. You need a way that appears to be natural even though it's something you planned.

For example, maybe while you are both sitting on the couch watching TV, you could ask him to scratch your back very lightly. Don't even mention the word, "tickle." After a minute or so, ask him to move the scratching out towards your sides. Soon he'll hit a ticklish spot, and you'll jump, giggle, etc. He may apologize and move back toward the center.

Tell him, "No it's okay, it felt really good. Could you do that some more?"

He may ask, "You LIKE to be tickled?"

You answer, "Yeah, I know it sounds a little crazy, but I really do."

Now I don't know if that scenario will work for you, but however you go about it, he needs to know this is what you need from him. It's not asking a lot, trust me.

Good luck!

All great advice, communication is key, and this would seem like an ideal, easy introduction 🙂 Others have mentioned starting a gentle tickle-fight elsewhere on this forum, just giving him a little poke or whatnot as well, if he doesn't manage to do so to you. Since he apparently really cares about you I'd guess he'd be open to something which is usually just a light touch, a stimulating tease, and to eventually discussing it with you once you've gotten him to react...