Super embarrassed bc I got jealous over my bf's ticklish reaction to getting a tattoo

[ashbabe410]

So my (23F) boyfriend (25M) is very heavily tatted, sleeves, full neck/chest/back pieces, etc. I'm used to seeing him get tats but yesterday, he was getting one colored in that's very near to his armpit. It's a tattoo, so it never even crossed my mind that it would tickle, but apparently for him, it did. So he spent the whole time fighting laughter (unsuccessfully btw), trembling, and struggling not to jerk around. I even tried talking to him to distract him, but he could barely hold a conversation.

The tattoo artist was a female (which is fine), but she had to restrain his arm because he couldn't be still and she was laughing and making comments like "I can't believe you have all this ink and you're giggling like this" which surprised and annoyed me that she would comment on his reactions (which were already making me cringe). I ended up staring at my phone for most of it because I just couldn't look at him struggling to keep still, restrained with a sensitive spot exposed and giggling like a kid! I feel silly and petty, but I could not help feeling jealous. Eventually he started full on laughing and saying that he couldn't take it and I just couldn't listen to it and went out to the car to wait for him, lol.

I wanted to ask in this community if anyone else thinks they would have also felt that way in my situation. My BF and I are both into tickling and he knows how I feel about seeing another female tickle him, so of course he knows it made me jealous and he has been mercilessly teasing me about it. Someone please tell me I'm not the only one who would feel this way lol

 

[2Ticklish!]

So my (23F) boyfriend (25M) is very heavily tatted, sleeves, full neck/chest/back pieces, etc. I'm used to seeing him get tats but yesterday, he was getting one colored in that's very near to his armpit. It's a tattoo, so it never even crossed my mind that it would tickle, but apparently for him, it did. So he spent the whole time fighting laughter (unsuccessfully btw), trembling, and struggling not to jerk around. I even tried talking to him to distract him, but he could barely hold a conversation.

The tattoo artist was a female (which is fine), but she had to restrain his arm because he couldn't be still and she was laughing and making comments like "I can't believe you have all this ink and you're giggling like this" which surprised and annoyed me that she would comment on his reactions (which were already making me cringe). I ended up staring at my phone for most of it because I just couldn't look at him struggling to keep still, restrained with a sensitive spot exposed and giggling like a kid! I feel silly and petty, but I could not help feeling jealous. Eventually he started full on laughing and saying that he couldn't take it and I just couldn't listen to it and went out to the car to wait for him, lol.

I wanted to ask in this community if anyone else thinks they would have also felt that way in my situation. My BF and I are both into tickling and he knows how I feel about seeing another female tickle him, so of course he knows it made me jealous and he has been mercilessly teasing me about it. Someone please tell me I'm not the only one who would feel this way lol

I think it’s perfectly natural to not want someone else flirting with your significant other! Especially when it’s right in front of you. You’re not crazy, you just care! 😉

 

[ashbabe410]

I think it’s perfectly natural to not want someone else flirting with your significant other! Especially when it’s right in front of you. You’re not crazy, you just care! 😉

So you agree that it sounds like she was flirting with him?? When I told him that she was, he said that making fun of him for being ticklish is not flirting, but I strongly disagree!

 

[2Ticklish!]

So you agree that it sounds like she was flirting with him?? When I told him that she was, he said that making fun of him for being ticklish is not flirting, but I strongly disagree!

Well, I wasn’t there. But if it seemed that way to you, then it’s okay to feel a certain way…regardless of the artist’s intent. (Just validating your feelings)

 

[LerLee]

I think there are many people that would feel this way.

I like seeing my wife tickled by another person but I know not everyone enjoys this.

 

[ashbabe410]

I think there are many people that would feel this way.

I like seeing my wife tickled by another person but I know not everyone enjoys this.

Yeah I totally get that some of us that are into tickling like seeing our partners tickled by someone else, but I'm just not one of them, lol. I'm too jealous for it and for me to have to sit there and watch him laughing and struggling to hold still while a woman is doing something to him that tickles....ugh. Also my BF is a ler, not a lee. He's also very dominant and usually pretty serious and stoic, so to watch him giggling like that was just weird and I didn't like it.

 

[Doriansenigma]

Just ask him not to see that same tatoo artist again, he obviously is feeling loved due to your jealousy, and is teasing you about it a little, which likely means he’s faithful. But I think it’s fair you ask him to see a male tatoo artist next time.

 

[TicklerKoops]

Maybe I'm just seeing this a different way but it doesn't sound like she was crossing any boundaries just saying that. I think this is one you can file under the 'over-thinking' bin. As someone who does work on people's body as well(massage therapy) there's plenty of times where I have ticklish clients and I can't help but make at least one snarky remark. Like I'll say "Well, if we need to get info out of you, we found one way" and they'll laugh and say "oh yes, ssn, pin number, whatever you need, you can have it" lmao

It's to make an uncomfortable experience light-hearted and fun instead of traumatizing. Because unlike people here, other people don't find tickling enjoyable, so you might see it as flirting, but I think it's kinda teasing and reassuring.

 

[ashbabe410]

Just ask him not to see that same tatoo artist again, he obviously is feeling loved due to your jealousy, and is teasing you about it a little, which likely means he’s faithful. But I think it’s fair you ask him to see a male tatoo artist next time.

Thank you and I agree. I did ask him to see a male artist next time and that's why he's teasing me saying that he can't believe I'm jealous over her making fun of him for being ticklish. She's done other tats for him and I haven't had a problem with her but the ticklish reaction this time was just....

 

[ashbabe410]

Maybe I'm just seeing this a different way but it doesn't sound like she was crossing any boundaries just saying that. I think this is one you can file under the 'over-thinking' bin. As someone who does work on people's body as well(massage therapy) there's plenty of times where I have ticklish clients and I can't help but make at least one snarky remark. Like I'll say "Well, if we need to get info out of you, we found one way" and they'll laugh and say "oh yes, ssn, pin number, whatever you need, you can have it" lmao

It's to make an uncomfortable experience light-hearted and fun instead of traumatizing. Because unlike people here, other people don't find tickling enjoyable, so you might see it as flirting, but I think it's kinda teasing and reassuring.

Ok good point, you're probably right. I'm actually not trying to put the blame on her bc she was obviously not tickling him on purpose. I think I just didn't like her pointing out his reactions to it bc I was already trying really hard to ignore that he was reacting that way and her mentioning it didn't help lol. I would've felt jealous even if she hadn't mentioned it at all just bc watching another woman do something to him that tickles...ugh I can't help but hate it.

He has a zillion tats and this is the only time I've ever seen him do this. Him blushing and smirking at me during all this definitely didn't help either, lol, which is why I eventually just went to the car once he started saying "omg I can't take anymore" etc I was like yep I'm done I'll be in the car 😑😂

 

[TicklerKoops]

Ok good point, you're probably right. I'm actually not trying to put the blame on her bc she was obviously not tickling him on purpose. I think I just didn't like her pointing out his reactions to it bc I was already trying really hard to ignore that he was reacting that way and her mentioning it didn't help lol. I would've felt jealous even if she hadn't mentioned it at all just bc watching another woman do something to him that tickles...ugh I can't help but hate it.

He has a zillion tats and this is the only time I've ever seen him do this. Him blushing and smirking at me during all this definitely didn't help either, lol, which is why I eventually just went to the car once he started saying "omg I can't take anymore" etc I was like yep I'm done I'll be in the car 😑😂

It also doesn't help that we are tickle-brained in that anything tickling, we see it in a different way. Like when you hear someone go "tickle, tickle, tickle" to someone else while you are present, you probably get flustered over it, regardless of the context. So hearing someone talk about your bfs ticklishness, if you weren't tickle-brained, probably doesn't bother you, but because it's something YOU want to do to him, it probably irks you.

You could always just tell her you enjoy tickling him too and out yourself, she might not do it anymore, but I have a feeling you aren't as public about that information 😂

If you are a ler kinda ticklephile, you can jus tickle the shit out of him as punishment. Give yourself a little fun at his expense 👀🤣

 

[ashbabe410]

It also doesn't help that we are tickle-brained in that anything tickling, we see it in a different way. Like when you hear someone go "tickle, tickle, tickle" to someone else while you are present, you probably get flustered over it, regardless of the context. So hearing someone talk about your bfs ticklishness, if you weren't tickle-brained, probably doesn't bother you, but because it's something YOU want to do to him, it probably irks you.

You could always just tell her you enjoy tickling him too and out yourself, she might not do it anymore, but I have a feeling you aren't as public about that information 😂

If you are a ler kinda ticklephile, you can jus tickle the shit out of him as punishment. Give yourself a little fun at his expense 👀🤣

LOL I love this answer. You're right and I'm not public about that info and there's no way I'd tell her I enjoy tickling him. I'm usually a lee actually and he's the ler in the relationship and he's a very dominant ler also which is another reason I wasn't super thrilled to see him giggling and struggling to keep his composure. Even though I'm usually the lee though, I do love to tickle him bc he's the super ticklish tough guy type that won't admit he's ticklish, so I love to make him tap out! So yeah I think I'll take your advice and tickle the hell out of him as punishment. He said he's willing to allow that lol

 

[Marvel_Tickling]

I think you're over thinking and over worrying. The tattoo artist very likely doesn't share the fetish, so under torture would probably still say they didn't think they were flirting. They were just doing their job under difficult circumstances and trying to make your boyfriend feel more at home. If she did a good job and the tattoo is good, then I don't see why he can't go there again and why she has to lose potential income.

 

[ashbabe410]

I think you're over thinking and over worrying. The tattoo artist very likely doesn't share the fetish, so under torture would probably still say they didn't think they were flirting. They were just doing their job under difficult circumstances and trying to make your boyfriend feel more at home. If she did a good job and the tattoo is good, then I don't see why he can't go there again and why she has to lose potential income.

The point of the post wasn't to blame her at all. The point was that I already knew I was over thinking and being silly, but that I still felt jealous anyway. I said that in the post. My point was that it was hard for me to watch my BF sit there and try to take it with the ticklish reactions that I've never seen him do before with anyone but me. If he wants to go back to her then that's fine, I wouldn't give him a hard time about it. I was joking with him when I told him to go to a male artist bc he knew it was getting to me and making me jealous and he was smirking at me and purposely making it worse for me to witness it lol.

If anything I just won't go with him next time if he's getting work done on that area of his body bc even though it's not the artist's fault and they don't think of it like he and I do, that doesn't help me feel less jealous at watching him react in a way with someone else that I'm used to seeing from him during foreplay.

 

[Marvel_Tickling]

The point of the post wasn't to blame her at all. The point was that I already knew I was over thinking and being silly, but that I still felt jealous anyway. I said that in the post. My point was that it was hard for me to watch my BF sit there and try to take it with the ticklish reactions that I've never seen him do before with anyone but me. If he wants to go back to her then that's fine, I wouldn't give him a hard time about it. I was joking with him when I told him to go to a male artist bc he knew it was getting to me and making me jealous and he was smirking at me and purposely making it worse for me to witness it lol.

If anything I just won't go with him next time if he's getting work done on that area of his body bc even though it's not the artist's fault and they don't think of it like he and I do, that doesn't help me feel less jealous at watching him react in a way with someone else that I'm used to seeing from him during foreplay.

Ok, so don't go if he goes again. A bit of a defensive reply considering I wasn't apportioning blame at all, quite the opposite. My point was that the tattooist probably didn't give this a second thought, so there is really no need to worry. If anything, it makes her job harder if he can't sit still and she would probably be more glad if he didn't react.

 

[ashbabe410]

Ok, so don't go if he goes again. A bit of a defensive reply considering I wasn't apportioning blame at all, quite the opposite. My point was that the tattooist probably didn't give this a second thought, so there is really no need to worry. If anything, it makes her job harder if he can't sit still and she would probably be more glad if he didn't react.

Didn't need to come off as defensive, my apologies! 😊 Sometimes it's hard to convey tone in typing, that's why I often put "lol" in the comments, to show that I mean it in a more light hearted way. I'm sure you're right and she didn't give this a second thought. It was more just a thing with me and him bc he knew I didn't like seeing it so it's his fault if anything 😉

 

[hiphophooray4]

Thank you and I agree. I did ask him to see a male artist next time and that's why he's teasing me saying that he can't believe I'm jealous over her making fun of him for being ticklish. She's done other tats for him and I haven't had a problem with her but the ticklish reaction this time was just....

That's not a great idea , in my opinion.

 

[hiphophooray4]

I think you're over thinking and over worrying. The tattoo artist very likely doesn't share the fetish, so under torture would probably still say they didn't think they were flirting. They were just doing their job under difficult circumstances and trying to make your boyfriend feel more at home. If she did a good job and the tattoo is good, then I don't see why he can't go there again and why she has to lose potential income.

Totally agree

 

[ashbabe410]

Totally agree

Well it doesn't matter because he decided to see a male artist next time anyway even though I told him it was cool if he wanted to go back to her and that I just wouldn't go with him. Not like I really need to go watch while he gets ink done anyway, but my BF said that if it was him that was jealous then he would expect me to go to someone of my same gender from now so he decided that's what he's going to do. Up to him. I knew I was being silly for getting jealous and I even told him that, but he decided he's going to a guy next time.🤷🏼‍♀️

 

[ado1234p]

You said "he knew it was getting to me and making me jealous and he was smirking at me and purposely making it worse for me to witness it lol."

Is it something that he told you? I don't want to blame you or assume why he's done that. But it could also be the case that he looked at you and smirked at you because you're his girlfriend and you know the other meaning of tickling that's between you and him.

So the tattoo artist has no idea what's going beneath the surface of that interaction and if he looked and smirked at you it could also be that "partners in crime" type of look that you both are into something that the other person is not aware of.

In some sense it could be his way of connecting with you during that moment, by looking at you. At least that would be what I'd have had going in my head in my previous relationship with my ex. Your jealousy could be also flattering for him, sending him a signal that you care about him. There's a thin line between jealousy and love

That's my hypothesis, would be great if you could ask your bf "what made you smirk and look at me during that tickle-tattoo?" and listen without preconceived assumptions.

It's ok to feel a little bit of jealousy and it's ok to let your partner know about it.

You seem very self aware and I'm sure you can discuss and find a way to move forward with your bf 🙂

 

[ashbabe410]

You said "he knew it was getting to me and making me jealous and he was smirking at me and purposely making it worse for me to witness it lol."

Is it something that he told you? I don't want to blame you or assume why he's done that. But it could also be the case that he looked at you and smirked at you because you're his girlfriend and you know the other meaning of tickling that's between you and him.

So the tattoo artist has no idea what's going beneath the surface of that interaction and if he looked and smirked at you it could also be that "partners in crime" type of look that you both are into something that the other person is not aware of.

In some sense it could be his way of connecting with you during that moment, by looking at you. At least that would be what I'd have had going in my head in my previous relationship with my ex. Your jealousy could be also flattering for him, sending him a signal that you care about him. There's a thin line between jealousy and love

That's my hypothesis, would be great if you could ask your bf "what made you smirk and look at me during that tickle-tattoo?" and listen without preconceived assumptions.

It's ok to feel a little bit of jealousy and it's ok to let your partner know about it.

You seem very self aware and I'm sure you can discuss and find a way to move forward with your bf 🙂

Oh yeah definitely! I'm not upset with him or with anyone or anything like that! I just felt jealous at another women doing something to him that tickled and him reacting in a way to it that I usually only see from him during foreplay (that type of laughter and him saying he couldn't take anymore, etc) I showed him your comment and he said that you and I were both right. He said he was smirking because of the tickling meaning something different to me and him than it did to the tattoo artist AND bc (according to him) I was very obvious in trying not to look at him reacting to the tickling. He loved it that I got jealous, he always does. He says I'm really cute when I'm jealous and that it makes him feel loved and wanted so yes you and the others who said that were correct.

I hope people aren't thinking I made this post bc I'm mad at my BF or at the tattoo artist or something like that. That wasn't it. I just felt silly for getting jealous over this and wanted to know if other people with a tickling fetish would also be jealous if they were to watch their significant other have something done to them by the opposite sex that tickles when the person wasn't tickling them on purpose and isn't into tickling like we are.

 

[ado1234p]

Oh yeah definitely! I'm not upset with him or with anyone or anything like that! I just felt jealous at another women doing something to him that tickled and him reacting in a way to it that I usually only see from him during foreplay (that type of laughter and him saying he couldn't take anymore, etc) I showed him your comment and he said that you and I were both right. He said he was smirking because of the tickling meaning something different to me and him than it did to the tattoo artist AND bc (according to him) I was very obvious in trying not to look at him reacting to the tickling. He loved it that I got jealous, he always does. He says I'm really cute when I'm jealous and that it makes him feel loved and wanted so yes you and the others who said that were correct.

I hope people aren't thinking I made this post bc I'm mad at my BF or at the tattoo artist or something like that. That wasn't it. I just felt silly for getting jealous over this and wanted to know if other people with a tickling fetish would also be jealous if they were to watch their significant other have something done to them by the opposite sex that tickles when the person wasn't tickling them on purpose and isn't into tickling like we are.

I don't see your post as if you're mad at anyone. More like you're looking for validation for your feeling of jealousy (like looking if anyone would react the same to make sure that it's ok to feel this feeling of jealousy). But it's ok to have feelings and you can feel anything at any moment and also feel things that doesn't make sense on paper but make sense internally.

"I just felt silly" sounds like you have a secondary emotion. Initial emotion is jealousy and secondary emotion is feeling silly that comes from judgement of the first emotion.

My question is: What's wrong with feeling jealous? When did I learned that it's not ok to feel jealous?


And I'm not asking to say that you're right/wrong or your bf is right/wrong. But because the answer could lead to discovering your needs/boundaries that you can satisfy with yourself or with your bf.

It's not silly to feel jealous in situation like this. It could be a signal that you'd like more reassurance from your boyfriend or maybe that you'd like him to be a little more often jealous of you, because you'd like to be seen as desired and wanted (even from other people) and you still want him to chose you and you to chose him. To have a feeling that you both chose to be in this relationship and that you both care for each other.

Those are only my hypothesis, but nonetheless whaterer the reason of jealousy is it's an opportunity for both of you to deepen your relationship given that you both want it 🙂