switches bad?

[TicklishBlackGuy]

So, as of late i've had alot of people not wanting to cyber or anything because I'm a switch. One said that switches are not real, there just lee's trying to ler so they can get tickled more. Idk, maybe i'm crazy but is really that bad being a switch?

 

[TKLVR181]

Every few months somebody makes pretty much this exact same post, and I always say the same thing.

No, being a switch isn't bad. I started out all 'ler and after some time realized I was a switch-this was a very difficult transition to make. People tell me I'm a better 'ler for it.
The whole "just a switch so you can get more tickles" thing seems pretty rude to me. Some people have lee leanings but also prefer to give back. There is nothing wrong with this--I think it's extremely good of someone who is mostly lee to be willing to give back like that.

All I can say is ignore the haters and be who you are. I'm a total, 100% switch--I'm an absolute holy friggin terror when I'm lerrish, and a complete giggling, flustered nervous chibi as a lee. It took me a long time to come to terms with this next truth, so please take heed.

One does not diminish the other.

You don't have to be all 'ler be a good 'ler, and you don't have to refuse to 'ler to consider yourself mostly lee. Nor do you have to be a switch to be a really good 'ler, first guy who ever tickled me (it was cyber, but still the first) was and is a total 'ler.

Don't let anybody ever tell you which way to be. It takes the joy out of both.

~K

 

[TicklishBlackGuy]

you are a great switch karen i give ya that, just seems like so many people say "i don't want a switch" or hate being with switches and it becomes sad when looking for play partners or just people to have fun with ya know

 

[sadi]

I think I'm where karen was a few years earlier, still battling my perceived "weaker" side (which is personally-imposed, not reflecting 'any' statement on one trusting enough to 'allow' me to try to make them holler in ticklish glee), but I have the same sentiments as her, I think: if people are complaining, then you don't deal with them. 'Nuff said. Be whatcha' gonna' be, no matter what that may be, or come off as. 🙂
Someone might just be having a bad day/week/whatnot, and projecting their frustrations on anyone who holds out an offering hand (i.e. you). Doesn't mean 'you' are bad, though, and, like I said before, if they think so, not worth your time filling your ears with that negative stuff.
Think it's pretty great if one considers themselves a switch: gives me enough 'reason' to have a go at them, aside from my 'wandering' fingers trailing along their path, anyway. 😉

 

[TicklishBlackGuy]

I think I'm where karen was a few years earlier, still battling my perceived "weaker" side (which is personally-imposed, not reflecting 'any' statement on one trusting enough to 'allow' me to try to make them holler in ticklish glee), but I have the same sentiments as her, I think: if people are complaining, then you don't deal with them. 'Nuff said. Be whatcha' gonna' be, no matter what that may be, or come off as. 🙂
Someone might just be having a bad day/week/whatnot, and projecting their frustrations on anyone who holds out an offering hand (i.e. you). Doesn't mean 'you' are bad, though, and, like I said before, if they think so, not worth your time filling your ears with that negative stuff.
Think it's pretty great if one considers themselves a switch: gives me enough 'reason' to have a go at them, aside from my 'wandering' fingers trailing along their path, anyway. 😉

of course you end with something teasing like, and yeah i guess you guys are right. Just gets frustrating after you hear it. I hate being just a ler, and not subbish enough "in my own opinion i know karen will say i'm wrong 😛" to be just a lee. i like both sides of the court, but i also find there are few switches out that. at least for my last. I see alot of people say "i can switch" but never do ya know.

 

[sadi]

of course you end with something teasing like, and yeah i guess you guys are right. Just gets frustrating after you hear it. I hate being just a ler, and not subbish enough "in my own opinion i know karen will say i'm wrong 😛" to be just a lee. i like both sides of the court, but i also find there are few switches out that. at least for my last. I see alot of people say "i can switch" but never do ya know.

Of course. 😉 And, right or wrong, if you hear something enough times, if there's 'ever' a slip in your mental fortitude, you will believe whatever's being said about you. If a skinny girl pays attention to the myriad of messages constantly assailing her in the media, yes, she'll think she's fat, even if she's underweight. Why do you think so many girls (and a growing number of boys, as well) are developing eating disorders, and so young, to boot? Doesn't take long for a message to sink in to one's consciousness, whether it be truth or lie.
Regardless of what 'other' people who assume the title of 'switch' are/act like, you're you, so, only having control over yourself, only worry about yourself - and be true to it. Whatever it may be.
Hurtful or not, focus on 'positive' comments, people. Misery attracts company, but so does the opposite (joy). Like attracts like. Try to surround/encourage such relations.

 

[Stjanki2819]

Yes. Because people on the internet know what you are better than you do XD *sarcasm*
People can be so judgmental. If you like being a switch, run with it XD

 

[TheTickleMonster]

Switches are just like bisexuals... I wonder if that person thinks bisexuals aren't real either. Bisexuals like both genders, Switches like both tickling and being tickled... There are people that like both. It might just depend on their mood what they want to be at that moment. It's just dumb to say you're not really a switch. A lot of people like both.

 

[dalekfire]

To the point about switches being bad or not being a real thing, that's just ludicrous. They obviously exist, because many people obviously enjoy both sides of the spectrum, and there's nothing to stop someone from liking tickling in that very way. The term itself is legit in so many different circles and on so many different topics, too. And given my experiences with my behind-the-scenes roleplay, I can personally vouch for switches being very good. :lol

However, remember that not everyone are switches, and switching during roleplay may not be at all enjoyable for them. So if said people refuse to roleplay with you in the count of you wanting to switch with them at some point, you can't really blame them. Rudeness in their replies aside, non-switches are just as legit, and should be respected for their preferences.

As such, it's always a good idea to clear that up before trying to incite roleplay.

 

[TKLVR181]

Dalek-you make a good point. Don't be judgemental of people just because they are or aren't--I've been guilty of trying to convince people to switch in the past, and I feel a bit bad about that (even though the individual in question is a close friend who I know holds no *serious* grudges 😛 ). People like what they like, and it's a good thing we have such diversity, because it takes all kinds. Don't ever forget that, people!

Dragon-you know how I feel about being who you are, and I think you're a good person. I enjoy rping with you personally, and partially because I feel no pressure with you. I can lee, I can ler, I can whatever, and I personally really appreciate that about you. Keep on keeping on, my man.

Sadi-Yeah, it sounds exactly like you are where I was a few years back. Don't let anybody (yourself especially) make you feel like you're changing who you are, like you're not being true to yourself for being "under construction" I really admire your honesty and bravery for putting that up there, by the way. It's not something I could have done when I was in your shoes. I know the personal struggle with it being a weakness or not is a difficult one, especially for people in our situations, as it's been a struggle to stay independent and stuff. But more importantly is not to let anyone ELSE tell you it's a weakness--somebody used to tease me about that when I was going through this. He meant it as a friendly tease, I can see that looking back--sure caused some serious doubt though. Don't let somebody put you through that, because your FRIENDS want to help you be comfortable with yourself. Even--esepcially those that do it by teasing the crap out of you in a friendly way. If anyone had treated me different when I was going through this I wouldda felt self-conscious. Thankfully nobody really did.

~K

 

[TicklishBlackGuy]

I think a couple of people misstook on what I said about some fake switches. Its not that I was passing judgement, but It was the fact that they never really switched. Like I did one rp with a girl from DA. She said she was a switch and wanted to do this cool story with her griffin oc. So I agreed. We rp'd for like 3 weeks, and 98% of the rp, she was a lee. She tickled me once during the whole rp and it lasted less then a couple of lines before she was having me tickle her again. Stuff like this has happened repeatedly. I mean if your gonna switch i would think at least close to rp would be us switching back and forth or maybe a long tickle then a revenge tickling the same length. but i'm constantly finding people saying i'm a switch, but never...switch. i mean is that me passion judgement or is that just i want a certain preference when switching.

 

[TKLVR181]

I think a couple of people misstook on what I said about some fake switches. Its not that I was passing judgement, but It was the fact that they never really switched. Like I did one rp with a girl from DA. She said she was a switch and wanted to do this cool story with her griffin oc. So I agreed. We rp'd for like 3 weeks, and 98% of the rp, she was a lee. She tickled me once during the whole rp and it lasted less then a couple of lines before she was having me tickle her again. Stuff like this has happened repeatedly. I mean if your gonna switch i would think at least close to rp would be us switching back and forth or maybe a long tickle then a revenge tickling the same length. but i'm constantly finding people saying i'm a switch, but never...switch. i mean is that me passion judgement or is that just i want a certain preference when switching.

It sure isn't nice to be told one thing and get another. Some people do, yes, take advantage of a giving switch to constantly take-but some people are ashamed to be all lee, do they'll call themselves a switch.

~K

 

[TicklishBlackGuy]

yeah it sucks because then i start loosing interest and they wonder why I stop rping after a while. when i tell them, they get upset and say that's what a switch is and i get offended.

 

[sadi]

For better or worse, the more you talk to someone, the more you know them, the more you find out about them - for better or worse. :stickout

Heh. You also may come in to those switches who... try to ensure everything stays relatively "even," regardless if that's actually capable given the rp situation or not.

Give-and-take and, the more you know about someone, the more informed an opinion you can give, of what "label" to associate with someone, regardless of what is formally stated.

 

[MaxDragon]

I have never heard of a switch being a bad thing. Who thinks like that? I would be a switch if I was ticklish. Alas, I am not.

 

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

I have never heard of a switch being a bad thing. Who thinks like that? I would be a switch if I was ticklish. Alas, I am not.

Now I find that interesting indeed. I wonder how many unticklish Lers feel the same way. I've always seen unticklishness as more of a blessing than a curse. The ticklee can't mount a counter-tickle-attack if the Ler is unfazed. I wish I wasn't so ticklish. There's women half my size that could whup me in a hands-free tickling match.

 

[knicks255]

I have never heard anyone say switches are somehow worse :huh. If anything they're more desired because they can do that coveted "revenge fantasy" a lot of people seem to have.

 

[sadi]

I wish I wasn't so ticklish. There's women half my size that could whup me in a hands-free tickling match.

Really now...? Good to know. *cue maniacal laughter*

 

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

Really now...? Good to know. *cue maniacal laughter*

Well, I wouldn't admit something like that if we weren't all friends...right? RIGHT?!? 😱

 

[TKLVR181]

Well, I wouldn't admit something like that if we weren't all friends...right? RIGHT?!? 😱

Of course we are. Doesn't mean for a second that anything you say isn't fair game 😛

~K

 

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

Of course we are. Doesn't mean for a second that anything you say isn't fair game 😛

~K

(gulp!) Back off! I mean it! And this is why I'd make a lousy Ler. Too ticklish... :blush

On an up note: I might get a chance to be the tickler with my new Domme! Not with her specifically (she claims she's not ticklish, although I think the way I was worshiping her breasts yesterday was tickling her a bit), but a close friend of hers who is a switch and apparently very ticklish!

Some say that switches are the best/most cruel at B&D/S&M-type activities. Anyone care to comment on whether this is true/false?

 

[TicklishBlackGuy]

lol being super ticklish doesn't make you a lousy ler, just makes you a fun ler

 

[MistressValerie1]

From what I know, switches usually make for skilled and empathetic tops. Many switches of my acquaintance are top-only with certain partners and bottom-only with others. Unfortunately, some male subbies don't like female switches because they regard them as less-than-pure dommes.

 

[tickle_fan031]

I think a couple of people misstook on what I said about some fake switches. Its not that I was passing judgement, but It was the fact that they never really switched. Like I did one rp with a girl from DA. She said she was a switch and wanted to do this cool story with her griffin oc. So I agreed. We rp'd for like 3 weeks, and 98% of the rp, she was a lee. She tickled me once during the whole rp and it lasted less then a couple of lines before she was having me tickle her again. Stuff like this has happened repeatedly. I mean if your gonna switch i would think at least close to rp would be us switching back and forth or maybe a long tickle then a revenge tickling the same length. but i'm constantly finding people saying i'm a switch, but never...switch. i mean is that me passion judgement or is that just i want a certain preference when switching.

I very occasionally switch but I don't class myself as a switch for that reason. I'm not going to say something I'm not. This is coz I like to lee way too much. But in addition to that I think it is a confidence thing. I've not really had much experience at lerring so I don't think I'm that good at it.too worried that the lee would get bored so I lose interest lerring quickly. The exception being I have to be really comfortable with the person to switch and they have to like leeing too. If they don't really like it I get a mental/physical block. With rping online I find it far easier to go into detail when I've experienced it in real life. So for me I have had a lot if leeing experience in the past so it's easier to go into detail. When I daydream about tickling I always daydream about me leeing rather than lerring. So my imagination is rather restricted on the lerring front so i more often than not avoid rping.i also have to be in the right mood to want to ler.I'm not about the revenge and me getting tickled more coz I don't need to ler to get tickled more. Nor does the other person need to ler me to get tickled. The closer I am to someone the easier it is for them to activate my switch.
I hear your frustration though coz when I used to rp I had similar issues. I came across switches that wanted to lee all the time and I ended up loosing interest and I ended up restricting who I rpd with.
I think genuine switches though make fantastic lers and lees.both in real life and online.

 

[TicklishBlackGuy]

I very occasionally switch but I don't class myself as a switch for that reason. I'm not going to say something I'm not. This is coz I like to lee way too much. But in addition to that I think it is a confidence thing. I've not really had much experience at lerring so I don't think I'm that good at it.too worried that the lee would get bored so I lose interest lerring quickly. The exception being I have to be really comfortable with the person to switch and they have to like leeing too. If they don't really like it I get a mental/physical block. With rping online I find it far easier to go into detail when I've experienced it in real life. So for me I have had a lot if leeing experience in the past so it's easier to go into detail. When I daydream about tickling I always daydream about me leeing rather than lerring. So my imagination is rather restricted on the lerring front so i more often than not avoid rping.i also have to be in the right mood to want to ler.I'm not about the revenge and me getting tickled more coz I don't need to ler to get tickled more. Nor does the other person need to ler me to get tickled. The closer I am to someone the easier it is for them to activate my switch.
I hear your frustration though coz when I used to rp I had similar issues. I came across switches that wanted to lee all the time and I ended up loosing interest and I ended up restricting who I rpd with.
I think genuine switches though make fantastic lers and lees.both in real life and online.

see and I would rather have someone be honest with me then say "I'm a switch." I mean i understand the confidence thing myself. I don't really have any lering or leeing experience. I think i'm a horrible ler and an okay lee as well. So i understand the confidence thing, but at the end of the day I rather a person be honest then lie to me.