Telling your significant other about your fetish...good or bad idea?

[riversjones1]

I have gone out with my gf for almost two years and she has no idea that I have a tickle fetish. I love tickling her especially when she wears nylons, but I don't think I could ever tell her that I have a fetish for it. I feel that by telling your bf or gf that you have a tickling fetish that it may put a damper on the relationship....

For example...if it turns out that she agrees to explore this fetish with you...then your fantasy becomes a reality and it could severely affect both your sex life and how you view that person. I personally would rather fantasize tying up and tickling my gf then doing it in real life because I respect her too much to turn that into a real life activity. I believe that fetishes are healthy because they arouse the mind and increase sexual drive...However, I feel that when you try to turn these fantasies into realistic events, you may find that it is more on the strage side than it is in your dreams.

Fetishes are nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone in the world has one of some sort. But everyone also needs an imagination, and like in most cases...when you turn something that is great in your imagination into something real...it is never quite as good as the hipe you build it up to be. By keeping it a fantasy, you keep you sexual tension at a high point with the person you fantasize about doing it with, but you also keep a dignified relationship with that person as well. Trust me, exploring a fetish could turn out good at first...but in the long run it will very likely ruin your relationship...and worse off, you now have to worry about that person spreading the word about your secret to others....

 

[gilmourwaters]

absolutely tell her! the fetish is part of who you are...why hide that from your partner? why hide something thats a part of you from the very person you spent that much time with sharing everything else?? NEVER hide something that makes you who you are...that helps no one and just put you in a place you do not want to be.

And so what if others find out...big deal!Everyone like whatever for whatever reason.As long as what you like doesn't put you in state penn for 7-10 years then what does it matter who knows.I can guarantee some of the ones who find out share the same fetish but don't have the guts to admit it...and as such missing out on alot of great opportunities!

 

[sepa]

You might be happy to fantasise now, but if/when you break up with her, it's regret that you'll feel. All of a sudden you'll be fantasising about something you know you can't have anymore, and it'll cut you up that you never took it when it was there. Life's too short to be anywhere near this conservative. On the other hand, if you've been going with her for 2 years and you don't feel like you can trust her with your secrets and don't know how she'll react then perhaps it's best you do keep it to yourself 😕

From the way you're writing it sounds like you feel pretty conflicted about what to do. If, deep down you want to tell her, then you should. If you don't feel you can, then you really need to ask yourself why that is. You're right when you say a fetish is nothing to be ashamed of. You're also right when you say it could ruin a relationship. But it wouldn't even tarnish true love! Good luck to you 😉

 

[TickledToDeath]

Telling her would NOT be a bad idea at all. If she cares for you there should be no problem or simply you can let your actions speak for you and let her ask or bring it up herself and just go from there.

TTD

 

[z284ca]

I was with my GF 5 months before I told her. I love her to pieces completely and I just wanted her to know everything about me so I told her. She was the first person I ever told and it was such a weight of my chest. One thing you have to make sure though if you do tell your partner, make sure it doesn't become TOO big a part of your relationship, at first I was so hyped that she finally knew it's all I wanted to do but I saw that it was getting to her a little so you just back off a little and realise why you're with that person. So I think tell her definatley but don't push it too hard :-D Good luck.

 

[sole seeker1]

Tell her.

If this develops into a lifelong relationship, your choice is either to tell her about it or do without tickling for the rest of your life.

Besides, keeping sexual secrets can become something of a barrier between you, while sharing a confidence inspires trust and intimacy.

 

[MistressValerie1]

You could try showing her (in a small way) rather than telling her about it. If she reacts favourably to a friendly or casual tickle, things can progress from there 🙂

 

[-Kunoke-]

Alright. I'm going to imput my opinion as I have for other people in your situation.

If you have been with the girl for 2 years, its obvious you have a strong relationship. What could happen?

A fetish? A fetish putting a damper on the relationship? Come on now.

Why is it better to fantasize when you could be truely experiencing it? I'll tell you one thing I've learned first hand. The fantasy side of tickling for me used to be NOTHING like the real thing. Before it became a serious part of my life, before I was open about it, all I could do was imagine what it would be like. Once I began to find out for myself what it was like, I couldn't believe I had continued to live in that state of mind. The amazing feeling I get when I am tickling a girl is like nothing I have ever felt. It is an absolutely incredible experience indeed, each and every time I get to tickle a girl for real, the way I'd always wanted. I'll tell you another thing. Most people really don't care one way or the other.

Here's how I brought my fetish into the open. The first person I told was my friend Shy. Now, it took me a long time to tell her, and when I did, much to my surprise, she thought it was adorable. She didn't much want me to play with her feet, but she still thought is was cute. She even made me tell her more about it, she wanted to explore into it and find out about it. Totally confident after that, I told my next friend. Jenna. Jenna is just about one of the nicest people I had ever met. I wasn't expecting her to just say it was cool with her, I was expecting her to let me play with her feet. I chose her specifically for that reason. Maybe that wasn't very nice of me, choosing her because I expected it, but hey, whacha gunna do.

Now this is what really hit me. It didnt tap me, it HIT me. It hit me HARD, like a train into a large building. She had a foot fetish as well. I just about collapsed on the ground and thanked god. I had chosen the right person after all. We've shared many a time, me playing with her feet. It's been great. Now, on one occasion, three of my friends were around, and I was attacking Jenna's feet like there was no tomorrow. Let me tell you right now (and I am not exaggerating), she was so ticklish that I thought she was going to kick me through the roof. Me, 6'2", 240 lbs, against her, 5'0", 105 lbs, was probably the funniest damn thing anyone had ever seen. She is one strong lady, I tell ya. I was having such a hard time holding her down, I almost asked someone to help me. She had already kicked me multipule times in the stomach, where I now had bruises. Anyway, it was CRAZY. After it was over, my friends asked me about it, and I told them I had a tickling fetish. They weren't negitive in the least. They just kind of shrugged it off and said stuff like "Oh, thats cool." or "Well, that makes sense now." (By the way, she is my current lee. 😉 )

So. Now, 5 people in total knew direct from me that I had a foot/foot tickling fetish. I had told almost all my online friends as well, all of which had either shrugged it off or said it was cute in the girls' cases. I was feeling great now. Getting my fetish in the open was one of the best choices I have ever made. I was now experiencing the tickling oppertunities I used to only dream about almost every day with my lee. Now, mind you, the tickling is just a big thing between me and my lee. You have to realize that if you take it to the point where its all you think about and its all you talk about with the people you've told, it will overwhelm them. That's something you need to avoid. I'll save you from having to listen to the rest of my adventures, because I was just telling you how it ended up for me.

Wow. I've typed a lot. Moving on...

Everyone has a fetish. Even those who say they dont have fetishes have them. Either they dont know what their fetish is, or they are ashamed to admit their fetish. In the end, I have come to the conclusion that it is nothing to be ashamed of, and that you should share it with the rest of the world, just like every other part of you.

If your girlfriend cannot accept something as small as your fetish, then christ sakes, what chance is there anyway? It's a part of you, and a big portion of your sexuality. If this girl loves you for who you are, then chances are she'll embrace this part of you as well. It's not a big deal. It's not a big deal at ALL. Get it out there, keep it from overwhelming you and others around you, and you can enjoy it as a part of your life, not something you wish you could be doing. I hope you...

A. Understood the meaning of what I said, I know I ramble.

B. Got something from my advice, as it took me a good 20 minutes to type. (Yes. I do type slow. I never really learned to type well. I usually only use my index fingers and just "peck" the keys. But I don't have to search and peck anymore, I know where the keys are.)

C. Have a wonderful life. Good luck.

(Please excuse my exsessive typing. I get bored, and I like to give advice to those in need.)

 

[OBleedingMe]

I don't understand what "respecting her" would have to with your bondage and tickling fetish. Do you think it's demeaning to tie up a woman? Women do it to men quite often and it is portayed in mainstream media as quite acceptable, so I don't see why a man tying up a woman would be any different. There's Maledom and Femdom.

Don't be brainwashed. It's perfect acceptable to tie and tickle (among other things) a willing sexual partner.

The vast majority of g/fs I've had were very open to my sexual fetishes and kinks (tickling being just one of many). Many of them enjoyed the experience. The two that didn't enjoy the bondage or refused to date me if that's what I was into turned out to be overly-masculine minded, feminazi-brainwashed women. If I wanted a masculine experience, I'd date a man, lol. So don't be afraid to tell your g/f. If you've been with her this long, I'm sure she'd be open to new sexual experiences.

Don't forget that you need to have a thorough knowledge of bondage before engaging in any. Here a few books I recommend you pick up if you want to pursue the art of bondage:

1. "Erotic Bondage Handbook" by Jay Wiseman. Excellent beginners guide to safe and secure bondage techniques.

2. "S/M 101" by Jay Wiseman.

3. "Erotic Tickling" by Michael Moran.

 

[jj82277]

Hey, I didn't get a copy of the syllabus





just teasing bleeding

 

[OBleedingMe]

(scratches head) I don't get it... 🙁

 

[alchemy1]

Good Idea...Bad Idea.

Hmmm...

Good Idea:

Telling your gf about your tickling fetish so you both can potentially explore it together.

Bad Idea:

Telling your gf that 6 years ago you were anally probed by Aliens and that when the time was right they were going to come back and laminate your genitals.

:cyclopes:

 

[MistressValerie1]

LMCLRAO, Alchemy 😀

 

[chickles_:)]

Hiya 😎
I have to agree with the advice given here in such a friendly environment. All you guys are great! 😀

But i also don't think you need to get down on yourself, riversjones, for being really nervous about saying anything or for not having said anything till now. Sharing a fetish is profoundly revealing. It opens up our deepest heart to another - and in your case - another whom you trust and REALLY want to keep! Being that vulnerable is always scary.
So it's okay and totally natural that you have hidden your delightful little secret. 😉

But, you know? I've found that 'significant others' even if they aren't into what we're into, really like it when we share what turns us on. Being that vulnerable of heart by sharing a deep secret, and letting them know what they can DO to make us wild, makes them feel, well, *significant*
A trust shared deepens relationship.

Anyway, i hope that helps. You go girl. 😀

Personally i find it fun to show then tell. But everyone has their own way.

Many blessings, riversjones.

 

[TiCkLeSoCkS1]

Definitly tell her, she might have a fetish for it as well! You don't know! The greatest day in my life so far was when I told my girl friend I had sock fetish, because conicidentialy so did she, and from their out our relationship got so much better! Trust me!

 

[-Kunoke-]

Hiya 😎
I have to agree with the advice given here in such a friendly environment. All you guys are great! 😀

But i also don't think you need to get down on yourself, riversjones, for being really nervous about saying anything or for not having said anything till now. Sharing a fetish is profoundly revealing. It opens up our deepest heart to another - and in your case - another whom you trust and REALLY want to keep! Being that vulnerable is always scary.
So it's okay and totally natural that you have hidden your delightful little secret. 😉

But, you know? I've found that 'significant others' even if they aren't into what we're into, really like it when we share what turns us on. Being that vulnerable of heart by sharing a deep secret, and letting them know what they can DO to make us wild, makes them feel, well, *significant*
A trust shared deepens relationship.

Anyway, i hope that helps. You go girl. 😀

Personally i find it fun to show then tell. But everyone has their own way.

Many blessings, riversjones.

I've noticed that as well! Any girl I've ever told about my foot/tickling fetish was overjoyed that I'd share that part of me with them, and since then have warmed up to me a lot more. I've been getting wayyyyy more tickle oppertunities as well. I believe it was stated somewhere on the forums...

"Tell people what you like to do and they'll help you do it. It's human nature."

😀

It's helped me find new friends, lees, and has lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.

 

[aenglish]

For example...if it turns out that she agrees to explore this fetish with you...then your fantasy becomes a reality and it could severely affect both your sex life and how you view that person. I personally would rather fantasize tying up and tickling my gf then doing it in real life because I respect her too much to turn that into a real life activity. I believe that fetishes are healthy because they arouse the mind and increase sexual drive...However, I feel that when you try to turn these fantasies into realistic events, you may find that it is more on the strage side than it is in your dreams.

I disagree. Fantasies are definitely all right, but getting what you want in life is a somewhat rare and therefore peak experience.

Fetishes are nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone in the world has one of some sort. But everyone also needs an imagination, and like in most cases...when you turn something that is great in your imagination into something real...it is never quite as good as the hipe you build it up to be. By keeping it a fantasy, you keep you sexual tension at a high point with the person you fantasize about doing it with, but you also keep a dignified relationship with that person as well. Trust me, exploring a fetish could turn out good at first...but in the long run it will very likely ruin your relationship...and worse off, you now have to worry about that person spreading the word about your secret to others....

Hmm...First you say that fetishes are nothing to be ashamed of, then you say it'll ruin your life. Wuzzup with that?

My GF is definitely down with my affinity for certain parts of her bod (as was my last GF - guess I've been lucky that way. Or are open-minded GF's more prevalent that previously thought?). She doesn't seem to wanna get into tickling me that much. I can't very well ask her to do more of it since she fell and broke her arm a month or two ago. I'll have to try and convince her once she heals up.

 

[TickledToDeath]

Hmmm...

Good Idea:

Telling your gf about your tickling fetish so you both can potentially explore it together.

Bad Idea:

Telling your gf that 6 years ago you were anally probed by Aliens and that when the time was right they were going to come back and laminate your genitals.

:cyclopes:

LMAO!!!!

TTD

 

[TickledToDeath]

Everyone is different. Everyone reacts different.
IF ya feel TELLING her will have a negative effect......then don't use words, just let the actions speak for you and let HER respond accordingly then go from there.
This is NOT rocket science or brain surgery. IT'S TICKLING!

TTD

 

[jj82277]

i was implying that the reading list was that of a class. It was light hearted and fun., pay no attentino to my feeble attempts at humor.