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The Alphabetical "Never Have I Ever"

Never have I ever killed a bear with my bare hands.
 
Never have I ever licked the bare soles :feets: of Heidi Klum. 🙁
 
Never have I ever oiled up a wrestler before a match.
 
Never have I ever questioned my ability to run.
 
Never have I ever shown my neighbor naked pictures of myself.
 
Never have I ever urinated on someone's newspaper.
 
Never have I ever washed people's clothes for free.
 
Never have I ever xeroxed my ass by sitting on the copying machine. 😛
 
Never have I ever yawned at a beautiful young woman.
 
Never have I ever zoomed down the highway at 150mph in a BMW.
 
Never have I ever arrested someone for breaking the law.
 
Never have I ever caught an old couple having sex.
 
Never have I ever eloped to get married.
 
Never have I ever greeted someone by spitting at them.
 
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