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The Alphabetical "Never Have I Ever"

Never have I ever hurried Jessica Alba to leave me.
 
Never have I ever judged Jessica Alba for not loving me.
 
Never have I ever let Jessica Alba take advantage of me.
 
Never have I ever marked Jessica Alba's birthday party on my calendar.
 
Never have I ever noticed Jessica Alba noticing me.
 
Never have I ever pictured Jessica Alba with me.
 
Never have I understood Jessica Alba (or any other woman).
 
Never have I ever worried Jessica Alba was falling in love with me.
 
Never have I ever xeroxed Jessica Alba's love letters and sold the copies. 😱
 
Never have I ever yearned for Jessica Alba to be with me.
 
Never have I ever zoomed down the highway with Jessica Alba in a BMW at 100mph.
 
Never have I ever created a scene trying to get Jessica Alba's attention.
 
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