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The Alphabetical "Never Have I Ever"

Never have I ever intended for Jessica Alba to fall in love with me.
 
Never have I ever listened to Jessica Alba complain about men.
 
Never have I ever noticed Jessica Alba staring at me (but it's possible she was and I was just oblivious to it).
 
Never have I ever petitioned to be Jessica Alba's boyfriend.
 
Never have I ever run over Jessica Alba with my car.
 
Never have I ever volunteered to be Jessica Alba's hair stylist.
 
Never have I ever wandered into Jessica Alba's bedroom accidentally on purpose.
 
Never have I ever zeroed out my bank account on Jessica Alba.
 
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