Snail Shell
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- Jun 24, 2001
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This was originally written by Canadian songwriter Lorne Elliot. I'm posting it here so that more than four people contribute to this non-tk writing thing...
Oh, Mom is out and Dad is out
And we're here all alone
They said they'd call at our bedtime
So we unhooked the phone
They've taken the liquor cabinet key
But a crowbar works just as well
Cuz tonight's the night we're gonna get Granny plastered
We spiked her cup of tea with rum
And a twinkle got in her eye
"A glass of sherry'd be nice" she said
So we spiked her sherry with rye
She downed a quart of tequila
With a cry of "What the hell?"
It was a sight, the night we got Granny plastered
Cuz when Granny gets plastered
She drinks like a bastard
She smokes, she sings, she swears
Her legs go all weavy
It's better than TV
She pushed the piano downstairs
But the best thing about it
There's no doubt about
When Granny's had a few
Is she doesn't like to drink alone
So she gets us plastered too.
She got out her record '78's
But the stereo doesn't play
The speed thingy was wired 440
But when it is done that way
It causes the motor to burst into flames
Good the aquarium's near
Tropical fish don't like it when Granny gets plastered
Our parents got back at midnight
But by then she'd barred the door
So they went for the cops
By then she'd fetched and loaded the .44
She swears she aimed above their heads
But her aims not quite up to par
And what with the taxes she's paid in her life
Should cover the new squad car.
Now Granny's been hungover
We were grounded for a year
And Dad has found religion
Since started hitting the beer
They sent Granny away for the rest of her days
To live in an old age home
Where she's doing quite well
With her new clientelle
Since she opened that bar of her own
Cuz when Granny gets plastered
She drinks like a bastard
She smokes, she sings, she swears
He legs go all weavy
It's better than TV
She pushed the piano downstairs
But the best thing about
There's no doubt about it
When Granny's had a few
Is she doesn't like to drink alone
So she gets us plastered too
And if you go down to Granny's
She'll get you plastered too.
🙂
Snail Shell
Oh, Mom is out and Dad is out
And we're here all alone
They said they'd call at our bedtime
So we unhooked the phone
They've taken the liquor cabinet key
But a crowbar works just as well
Cuz tonight's the night we're gonna get Granny plastered
We spiked her cup of tea with rum
And a twinkle got in her eye
"A glass of sherry'd be nice" she said
So we spiked her sherry with rye
She downed a quart of tequila
With a cry of "What the hell?"
It was a sight, the night we got Granny plastered
Cuz when Granny gets plastered
She drinks like a bastard
She smokes, she sings, she swears
Her legs go all weavy
It's better than TV
She pushed the piano downstairs
But the best thing about it
There's no doubt about
When Granny's had a few
Is she doesn't like to drink alone
So she gets us plastered too.
She got out her record '78's
But the stereo doesn't play
The speed thingy was wired 440
But when it is done that way
It causes the motor to burst into flames
Good the aquarium's near
Tropical fish don't like it when Granny gets plastered
Our parents got back at midnight
But by then she'd barred the door
So they went for the cops
By then she'd fetched and loaded the .44
She swears she aimed above their heads
But her aims not quite up to par
And what with the taxes she's paid in her life
Should cover the new squad car.
Now Granny's been hungover
We were grounded for a year
And Dad has found religion
Since started hitting the beer
They sent Granny away for the rest of her days
To live in an old age home
Where she's doing quite well
With her new clientelle
Since she opened that bar of her own
Cuz when Granny gets plastered
She drinks like a bastard
She smokes, she sings, she swears
He legs go all weavy
It's better than TV
She pushed the piano downstairs
But the best thing about
There's no doubt about it
When Granny's had a few
Is she doesn't like to drink alone
So she gets us plastered too
And if you go down to Granny's
She'll get you plastered too.
🙂
Snail Shell
