This of course doesn't fit everyone, but it's pretty hilariously dead on for many. Found it on another site where they were discussing Nickelback lyrics of all things. Too funny.
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER
8.15 - Wake up to tender hugs and kisses
8.30 - Weigh in 2kg lighter than yesterday
8.45 - Breakfast in bed. Freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants.
9.00 - A small gift of expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner
9.15 - Soothing hot bath with frangipani oil
10.00 - Light work out at club with handsome and funny personal trainer
10.30 - Facials, manicure, shampoo, condition and blow-dry
12.00 - Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe
12.45 - Catch sight of husbands/boyfriends ex. Notice she has gained two stone.
1.00 - Shopping with friends. Unlimited credit
3.00 - Nap
4.00 - Three dozen roses delivered by secret admirer
4.15 -Light work out at club followed by massage from strong but gentle hunk who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
5.30 - Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe and parade in front of full length mirror
7.30 -Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing with compliments received from other diners/dancers
10.00 - Hot shower (alone)
10.50 -Carried to bed - (freshly ironed, crisp, new silk sheets)
11.00 -Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11.15 -Fall asleep in his big strong arms.
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM
6.00 - Alarm
6.15 - Blow job
6.30 - Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section
7.00 - Breakfast: Sausages and eggs, coffee and toast all cooked by naked buxom wench.
7.30 - Limo arrives
7.45 - Several whiskeys on route to the airport
9.15 - Flight in personal Lear jet
9.30 -Limo to Riverside Oaks gold club
9.45 - Play front nine (two under par)
11.45 - Lunch: - Pie chips and gravy, lagers and a bottle of Dom Perignon
12.15 - Blow job
12.30 - Play back nine (4 under Par)
2.15 - Limo back to the airport (several whiskeys)
2.30 - Fly to Monte Carlo
3.30 - Late afternoon fishing trip with big titted female crew (all nude)
4.30 - Land world record marlin on light tackle
5.00 - Fly home, massage and hand job by Elle McPherson
6.45 - Shit, shower and shave
7.00 - Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated, Marijuana & porn legalized
7.30 - Dinner: Lobster to start Dom Perignon 1953. Big juicy steak followed by ice cream served on a pair of tits
9.00 - Napoleon Brandy and Cohuna cigar in front of wall size TV as you watch international match of the day. England beats Germany 11-0
9.30 - Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies)
11.00 - Massage and Jacuzzi with pizza snacks and a cleansing ale
11.30 - A night cap blow job
11.45 - In bed alone
11.50 - A twelve-second fart, which changes notes 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room.
Throw a little tickling in there on either side, and who would argue?! LOL 😀
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER
8.15 - Wake up to tender hugs and kisses
8.30 - Weigh in 2kg lighter than yesterday
8.45 - Breakfast in bed. Freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants.
9.00 - A small gift of expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner
9.15 - Soothing hot bath with frangipani oil
10.00 - Light work out at club with handsome and funny personal trainer
10.30 - Facials, manicure, shampoo, condition and blow-dry
12.00 - Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe
12.45 - Catch sight of husbands/boyfriends ex. Notice she has gained two stone.
1.00 - Shopping with friends. Unlimited credit
3.00 - Nap
4.00 - Three dozen roses delivered by secret admirer
4.15 -Light work out at club followed by massage from strong but gentle hunk who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
5.30 - Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe and parade in front of full length mirror
7.30 -Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing with compliments received from other diners/dancers
10.00 - Hot shower (alone)
10.50 -Carried to bed - (freshly ironed, crisp, new silk sheets)
11.00 -Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11.15 -Fall asleep in his big strong arms.
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM
6.00 - Alarm
6.15 - Blow job
6.30 - Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section
7.00 - Breakfast: Sausages and eggs, coffee and toast all cooked by naked buxom wench.
7.30 - Limo arrives
7.45 - Several whiskeys on route to the airport
9.15 - Flight in personal Lear jet
9.30 -Limo to Riverside Oaks gold club
9.45 - Play front nine (two under par)
11.45 - Lunch: - Pie chips and gravy, lagers and a bottle of Dom Perignon
12.15 - Blow job
12.30 - Play back nine (4 under Par)
2.15 - Limo back to the airport (several whiskeys)
2.30 - Fly to Monte Carlo
3.30 - Late afternoon fishing trip with big titted female crew (all nude)
4.30 - Land world record marlin on light tackle
5.00 - Fly home, massage and hand job by Elle McPherson
6.45 - Shit, shower and shave
7.00 - Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated, Marijuana & porn legalized
7.30 - Dinner: Lobster to start Dom Perignon 1953. Big juicy steak followed by ice cream served on a pair of tits
9.00 - Napoleon Brandy and Cohuna cigar in front of wall size TV as you watch international match of the day. England beats Germany 11-0
9.30 - Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies)
11.00 - Massage and Jacuzzi with pizza snacks and a cleansing ale
11.30 - A night cap blow job
11.45 - In bed alone
11.50 - A twelve-second fart, which changes notes 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room.
Throw a little tickling in there on either side, and who would argue?! LOL 😀
, just needs to start a little later than 6:00 am say noon for example, and maybe I’m just missing having a gf but I’d fall asleep with my big strong arms wrapped around my girlfriend… yep... definitely missing having a gf.
