The Perfect Lee/Ler....dissappears

[ms.brightside]

Have any of you ever found the most perfect lee/ler, only to have them dissappear?

This recently happened to me. We had talked for months and in all honesty I was thanking the stars above for finally smiling down upon me and cutting me the ultimate break. After it happened, I even stayed away from the TMF and all tickle related material for months. What can I say, it really broke my heart and made me very gun shy about meeting new people.

Anyway, please feel free to chime in with your stories/experiences. Even though I'm not looking for anyone to re-create what I was grateful to have, I'd appreciate your imput and support.

 

[Amanda]

I'm sorry about your misfortune 🙁

I could imagine how much that would suck.

 

[ms.brightside]

yeah, it still hurts quite a bit. thank you for your kind words hon.

 

[Mastertank1]

That happens fairly often,

and is not in any way your fault.
Many times, a person will misrepresent thamselves in many ways, in order to make themselves seem more attractive and get more responses. If and when a correspondence with a particular person becomes too intense, and especilly if they see it leading in the direction of an eventual personal meeting, they sometimes vanish rather than reveal the deception they have been practicing.
Many of the people on TMF prefer to reveal their real selves, warts and all, accepting that this may make them less attractive to some but knowing that any friendships or more that result will be long lasting and valuable because not based on deception.

Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music.

 

[ms.brightside]

Thank you, that really means a lot. I have to admit I was very shy in the beginning about talking opently about my somewhat difficult situation, but I did open up and lay it all out on the table. There were several things on their side that didn't quite add up, but being the fact that meeting people online, you have to take it all on faith and hope you are not being led on.

I think you really might have a point. We discussed the possibilities of meeting up and carrying out everything we had talked about. Maybe it was my blatant honesty in how I felt and what I wanted to happen that scared them off. I don't know. It's disheartening to realize that honesty can often enough make you loose people dear in you life that you'd do just about anything for.

Thank you again for your support.

 

[TickleSharpay]

It's unfortunate. I feel for you. 🙁
Off topic but it's weird how your brightside but your so sad, oxy-moron or something.
But anyway, we all know how it feels..well I do lol

 

[ms.brightside]

If you've ever seen me in the chatroom, you'll see that I use a martini glass as my icon. It's easy to look on the brightside of life when you're lushing your way though lifes downers, LOL. I feel very much like Miss Havisham, sat there in her ragged moth eaten wedding dress waiting for a lover that will never come. However if that was me, I'd damn well have a drink in my hand.

No really, I'm not a huge drinker, but I like the irony in the name. Thank you for your kind words 😱

 

[Mitchell]

Brightside, I am very sorry to hear this, my good friend. I feel for you.

Last fall, I had met someone on here. We hadn't gotten into the ler/lee, or meeting thing yet, but she told me she was a great lee, and was looking forward to meeting me. Everything seemed to be going fine, when suddenly out of nowhere, she just disappeared, no explanation, e-mail, or such. Left the forum, and me, without ever e-mailing me or such again. I was very upset. Right afterwards, I spoke to a very wise member of the forum, who told me that many times, online, and in first meetings, or before first meetings, accountability is far less than in real life, if you are really dating, and trying to get to know someone. People get distracted with other romantic options, career, family, and life in general. There was no reason for this person to disappear. We were getting along fine, hadn't had any words of any kind, but after a certain point, she was just gone, and never returned to the forum, or me. I e-mailed her once shortly thereafter, and received no reply.
So, yes, I have been there. It hurt, and I am very sorry to hear that this happened to you. I know it stings now, and may for a while. I do hope that at some point soon, you find a great person who is compatiable for you, to suit your needs.

Mitch

 

[TickleSharpay]

Aww your welcome you drunkie you!

 

[Strider]

Sorry to hear that. There's actually a lot of great people out there on the internet, but occasionally you run across a total jackass. Just don't let this permanently turn you off from talking to people.

 

[isabeau]

Sorry to hear that. There's actually a lot of great people out there on the internet, but occasionally you run across a total jackass. Just don't let this permanently turn you off from talking to people.

i agree with Strider on this.. and so sorry about what happened.. don't let it discourage you however.

isabeau

 

[ms.brightside]

aww thank you. its hard to not let it discourage me because it's really a blow to my ability to trust well meaning lers in the future.

btw i love seeing your avitar. its so pretty *blush*

 

[isabeau]

aww thank you. its hard to not let it discourage me because it's really a blow to my ability to trust well meaning lers in the future.

btw i love seeing your avitar. its so pretty *blush*

whose, mine or Strider's? lololol sorry hon... just hang in there, someone just right for you is bound to show up..

isabeau

 

[ms.brightside]

yours! i'd love one like that but i have no idea how to make them.

 

[Strider]

yours! i'd love one like that but i have no idea how to make them.

PM Mimi, she's the artisitc genius behind all of our avatars.

 

[ms.brightside]

I'll have to do that! thank you 🙂

 

[TickleSharpay]

So will I lol
I love Isabeau's

 

[Lady Dedlock]

Have any of you ever found the most perfect lee/ler, only to have them dissappear?

This recently happened to me. We had talked for months and in all honesty I was thanking the stars above for finally smiling down upon me and cutting me the ultimate break. After it happened, I even stayed away from the TMF and all tickle related material for months. What can I say, it really broke my heart and made me very gun shy about meeting new people.

Anyway, please feel free to chime in with your stories/experiences. Even though I'm not looking for anyone to re-create what I was grateful to have, I'd appreciate your imput and support.

You must have been reading my mind. Pretty much the same thing happened to me about a year or so ago here: I had had several conversations via email and IM with a guy who seemed more than nice, intelligent, and not at all pushy. And then he pretty much vanished without nary a trace. I, too, then stayed away, only periodically stopping in for curiousity sake. It has been so long that I forgot my log-in, so I had to create a new one, as I had to respond. At least now I don't feel quite so singled out; there are others out there that this has happened.

 

[isabeau]

You must have been reading my mind. Pretty much the same thing happened to me about a year or so ago here: I had had several conversations via email and IM with a guy who seemed more than nice, intelligent, and not at all pushy. And then he pretty much vanished without nary a trace. I, too, then stayed away, only periodically stopping in for curiousity sake. It has been so long that I forgot my log-in, so I had to create a new one, as I had to respond. At least now I don't feel quite so singled out; there are others out there that this has happened.

i'm sorry that happened to you. and welcome back. hope you have better luck this time around..

isabeau

 

[unit5610]

I wonder if this person felt a (gasp!) commitment coming on? If so, whether it was real or not, your perfect lee may have gotten scared off by the idea that things had the potential to get "real" and he couldn't handle it.
Just a theory...may not be the case but I could certainly picture it because I've seen it often.
In any case, don't be totally dismayed. You're young, and very kind and personable from our conversations in chat, and about to start fresh in a new location. You have lots of time. Be yourself and enjoy life and good things will come to you!

 

[ms.brightside]

Thank you for the encouragement hon. I also appreciate your impressions of our chats...its quite flattering that you see me in a positive light 🙂

I guess I'm scared that in my current situaiton (which I'm sure you can guess what I'm referring to) that I'm not going to be able to find someone as compatible and understanding as he allowed me to believe at first. I worry that perhaps it was that part of my life that led him to want to abandon what we had going on. Who knows, maybe he didn't really give a shit about what I valued. Either way, I hope to continue chatting with kind people such as yourself. You all renew my faith in the TMF and tickle fetishists in general!

 

[new2sceenbob]

This happened to me twice!

This actually happened to me twice! The disappointment was extremely difficult to withstand. Yet, I'm still here trying. I still won't give up just yet. I hope that you will hang in there too. I wish you the very best of luck...

Sincerely,
Bob

 

[MrPartickler]

Too many times....

I've become quite the cynic when it comes to online relationships of any kind. Nowadays I honestly never consider them "real" until there's at least one face-to-face interaction of substance. It was years ago that the first one or two "disappearances" happened. Although being a bit shaken by those, I didn't stop looking, but what I found (for me) was that online relationships were all generally too volatile to be relied upon. Any number of things could come up and cause them to disintegrate. So if it's ever a relationship I desire to maintain, I try to make them "real" relatively quickly. If that fails, I just assume there is vitrually no connection at all save the one in my own mind.

 

[Strider]

Some people see the whole online thing as a stumbling block, like it's somehow 'not real' or what have you. But I've had two major relationships in my life, and both of them started online, so who knows.

 

[ms.brightside]

Online friendships/relationships

You know, I can honestly speak from experience on this....

I have started some of the most fulfilling relationships of mine...online.
I have several close friends that I have known for years that have stuck by me and provided more emotional support than most people I know in real life. Some have lasted over 5 years. Some I've met across the world when the opportunity arose for me to take a holiday to their particular area.

It is not a correct assumption that online friendships/relationships are not real. I have to personally say that I don't feel comfortable with not having personally talked to a longtime friend/lover on the phone, or even seeing a picture of them. My situation was open...we spoke on the phone, traded pics, etc. Relationships are not defined by the circumstances available for you to take advantage of, but rather the dedication and openness of both parties involved (or more than that if thats what blows your skirt up).
Balancing reality with online activity can be difficult at times. But also, most importantly, it is more difficult for some of us to find people with similiar interests (such as tickling) in real life, so that drives us to the TMF and other such sites.

Most of all, people come to the TMF to build relationships with people who share our most common interest. We come to have civil, playful, sexual, or just fun conversations with people who we know are our true peers.
People that understand our desires and needs more than the typical person walking by us on the street.