The Tickle Lover's Guide To Tickle Action

[Deleted member 143342]

[/QUOTE]

Speaking of tickle-gatherings, your boyfriend's attitude would get him thrown out of every such event that I have attended or even heard of. Even when we're talking about a room full of people who have come together just to tickle and be tickled, asking before touching is mandatory. It's not just a good idea or a nice custom; they will show you the door if you don't do it. And that's when everyone there is actively interested in the fetish.[/QUOTE]

Again, you are missing the major major major major point of this entire thing, I am sorry to say. I really cannot believe how dense you are to this concept that he is not talking about a gathering place for a fetish in which case everyone needs to have their guard up for obvious reasons...he is talking about regular day to day life with day to day friends, all of whom know him, all of whom are comfortable with him.

And yes, I get you do this and that and that and this with BDSM and blah blah blah, but you seem to have been in those communities so much you cannot possibly conceive of a way of life outside of them.

And he never anywhere said that women don't know what they want when it comes to men placing their hands all over their body and for your 411, since it seems to be entirely lost on you, James does not take this conversation seriously at all, so he is saying things that are meant to be sarcastic---including the line about people not knowing what they want...even though that is entirely true.

You take yourself way too seriously Red Mage. And you can go on and on about the rules and what the rules say and which gathering here and there (which btw, me and him have zero interest in whatsoever, so your point is kind of moot) but you are failing to address the simple concept that in the real world, people just do not behave like an after-school special and they do not fill out application forms for day to day gestures between friends...and for all your talk about respecting and understanding women, you have insulted me, and many of my friends several dozen times throughout this conversation and you are assuming quite a bit about the minds of women while yelling at James for doing just that.

For your 411, only 7% of communication is verbal. Expressions, body language, gestures, mean quite a bit more. People as a special tend to focus way too much on what people say rather than what people mean and you are a prime example of that. A person can be looking you right in the face holding a bloody dagger coming your way while saying "don't worry, I'm not going to kill you." doesn't mean they aren't planning on it.

And also, for your 411, I am very surprised someone in the BDSM community doesn't get that protesting is more than half of the fun in a tickle situation--James protests all the time when me and my friends gang up on him, but of course he doesn't mean it.

Maybe you have been around nothing but creepers in your life, but you automatically assumed the worst of the first thing he said, which is why we have had this knock-out drag out for almost no reason whatsoever---(and for the record, we've gotten quite a few PM's and emails from people thanking us for that blog post and the only reason James even did it in the first place was because he had about 30 people wondering how he managed to make tickle-lovers out of people who had never been introduced to the fetish before.)

I also can't seem to wrap my mind around why you feel the need to prove him wrong so much when there hasn't been a complaint filed, a single person in real life offended, and nothing but fun all around for everyone who has ever had any tickle (or any other) interaction with James in real life. Maybe what he's saying doesn't translate well in text for you, maybe you for some reason feel threatened by him, or maybe you are just so stuck in your rules rules rules rules at a gathering way of life that you feel the need like most people to try to push your weight around on anyone else--when quite frankly, it's none of your business at all.

 

[FeatherFeet]

😀!!! yes Jesse!


Hehe, I agree Comfort, this is getting a bit silly. XD.

Foxy my dear...the dude isn't worth your frustration, though I appreciate you sticking up for me my darling 😉

Redmage...sorry it took me so long to reply. I was out raping a few women and the last one got a bit uppity, so I had to smack her around a bit to show her her place.

But seriously folks,

It's obvious nothing I say is going to make you think anything different, so it's kinda not worth the breath,
but I find it funny that you never sensed any of my sarcasm,
never thought for a second about what my real life actions were and focused only on the words I chose to use here and used that as a blanket to cast a vision that I must be a horrible person who disrespects women. Nothing can be further from the truth.

There is one clear point here, that you seem to also miss. Words mean shit. How many men promise I will never hurt you to a women and beat the shit out of her? How many men promise them the world and deliver them depression? You might notice most of those men come off as polite, well-mannered gentlemen at first--to the extent that they can pull one over on the girl's parents and earn her trust.

Words are not what make the world, my friend. As my darling pointed out, communication is only 7% verbal. And it's not to be trusted either. ACTIONS are what speak in this world my friend, actions speak way louder than words, and whatever my words are here, or there, or when goofing around with a girl to "get into the kitchen and make me my dinner before I smack her"...my ACTIONS treat women with NOTHING but the utmost respect, and that is why you can keep all the gatherings you want to yourself because the life I live is quite fulfilled, (I recently had 97 people in a hall sing me Happy Birthday for my 27th) and if you and I can't be friends...well as much as that breaks my heart, I think I'll manage.

 

[Redmage]

Again, you are missing the major major major major point of this entire thing, I am sorry to say. I really cannot believe how dense you are to this concept that he is not talking about a gathering place for a fetish in which case everyone needs to have their guard up for obvious reasons...he is talking about regular day to day life with day to day friends, all of whom know him, all of whom are comfortable with him.

I'm not missing that point at all. I'm saying that it doesn't matter.

When you are surrounded by people who are there because of an active interest in tickling, and you still have to ask before touching, then how can it possibly make sense to use a lower standard of consent with people that you don't know want to be tickled? On the one hand, you're sure they want it, but you still ask. On the other hand, you aren't sure, but you don't ask.

This seems logical to you?

And he never anywhere said that women don't know what they want when it comes to men placing their hands all over their body...

Oh, please. I posted a website written by women, saying that it was important to ask before touching. His response to that website was to claim that what women say they want in that regard isn't what they really want, and that "99.99% of the time" they don't know what they want and can't communicate it correctly if they do. That was explicitly in regard to touching without asking, so that excuse doesn't work.

...and for your 411, since it seems to be entirely lost on you, James does not take this conversation seriously at all, so he is saying things that are meant to be sarcastic---including the line about people not knowing what they want...even though that is entirely true.

So, let me see if I understand this...he has deliberately and repeatedly said things that he didn't really mean. Then he (and you) got offended because someone supposed that he meant what he said. But it's OK because even though he didn't mean it, it's true anyway.

This is your defense?

For your 411, only 7% of communication is verbal. Expressions, body language, gestures, mean quite a bit more. People as a special tend to focus way too much on what people say rather than what people mean and you are a prime example of that.

Again, no. Body language and non-verbal communication are fine things. Of course here all we have are the words, so if your boyfriend is typing one thing while his "body language" is saying something else then that's entirely his problem.

Face to face, non-verbal cues are great. But they are not a substitute for verbal communication about anything critical.

There are basically two kinds of rapists: there's the kind that just doesn't care what the woman wants, and then there's the kind that is convinced that he knows what she wants whether she says she wants it or not. "She really wanted it. I could tell." is such a stereotypical excuse for sexual assault that it's a bit disturbing to see any woman defending it as a legitimate position.

And also, for your 411, I am very surprised someone in the BDSM community doesn't get that protesting is more than half of the fun in a tickle situation--James protests all the time when me and my friends gang up on him, but of course he doesn't mean it.

Protesting is great fun - after consent is established. The fact that protesting is part of the game is no excuse whatsoever for pretending that consent doesn't come first. So once again you are mistaken about what I "get," and you're telling yourself stories to justify the unjustifiable.

I also can't seem to wrap my mind around why you feel the need to prove him wrong so much when there hasn't been a complaint filed, a single person in real life offended, and nothing but fun all around for everyone who has ever had any tickle (or any other) interaction with James in real life.

The fact that someone makes it home drunk doesn't mean that driving drunk is a good idea. It doesn't matter how many times they drive drunk successfully - it is still dangerous. All it means is that they've been lucky so far.

If your boyfriend has been lucky so far then that's great. If he wants to keep doing things his way, and hoping that his luck holds, then that's his business. For the sake of the women he's handling without consent I hope he continues lucky. But it does not mean that what he's doing is a good idea.

When he starts telling people that this is a good way to do things, I disagree. When he comes back with lines like "women want a man who's unafraid to GO for it," or "what women say they want isn't what they really want," or "women don't even know what they want" - specifically with regard to a man putting his hands on them - I disagree very strongly.

Now you claim that he was just being "sarcastic," that he didn't really mean what he said (at least twice). I reply that it's your story, so you can tell it the way you want to. But on the off chance that that is actually true, he still has no room to complain that someone took him at his word, and neither do you. What he said, repeatedly, is that women don't know what they want, they can't say what they want, but that he knows what they want and is "unafraid to GO for it." Whether you like it or not, that is an inexcusably dangerous idea, in BDSM or anywhere else.

 

[Deleted member 143342]

Again Redmage (and I'm sorry James, but I can't help it)

I can tell you for a fact that he didn't even look at that site you posted in reply to him until way after the fact--he didn't need to, your principle of permission while noble sounding--is completely stupid for the low level forms of human contact we are talking about--and you still aren't listening to plain English.

the "go for it" was mean to be established in the same way you would go for a high-five, or go for a hug, or in the romantic sense of dating...go for a kiss...(omg yes, guys actually do this without asking in words if it's ok) in fact...for the kissing part, if you can't tell by everything else going on with the girl...then asking probably won't help you. I say this as a girl...and me and my girlfriends talk about this quite a lot--about how some guys "get it" and other guys do not...and you, are one of those who does not.

Especially because you seem to see the simple act of poking a friend in the ribs, or initiating a one second tickle as a response to a joke with the same level of sexual power as you would a full blown session. James never has had, nor have I, a full blown tickle session with anyone until obvious consent was established which is the other thing you are totally missing here. No one has done anything to anyone anywhere against their will. And your analogy about drunk driving is absolutely stupid, because the methods James uses to make friends, (I've seen and experienced them) can in no way shape or form possibly even lead to anything resembling trouble.

Can a hi-five be considered sexual harassment? Of course not. The initial go-for-it, touches he is talking about in "break the touch barrier" are 9 times out of 10 a high five, followed by a hug, followed by a poke in the ribs. And this is pretty much always after meeting someone more than once and getting to know them when comfort is established. The big thing he is talking about is that if you sit around waiting for written permission, you are never going to get anywhere (which is something way too many guys don't get in this century.)

And once you made the improper assumption on his original postings (if you actually read it you would see his warning about being respectful to women) where he does not encourage anyone to jump the gun on anything...he went and pushed your buttons because again, he takes this not seriously at all. I'll also have you know he was never once offended...in fact, he's laughed to me when I brought this up to him, and if anything he's been telling ME to calm down because I'm the one getting steamed here.

I, on the other hand, take it QUITE serious when you call my boyfriend a budding rapist. Especially since that is downright slander when nothing could be farther from the truth.
You should probably go fight another crusade, my friend. Because you are kind of like a cop arresting the one kid in town who is drug free by pushing your views here.

Your statement about "when you know they want it you have to ask but when you don't know if they want it you don't" is also a stupid argument...because in your communities, you are talking about full fledged potentially dangerous sessions. James is talking about a poke in the ribs, a high-five or a hug. (Everything else we do, comes later, after trust and friendship is established, and no one goes into anything without it being very obvious they are willing.) So maybe you should do a better job of separating the overly sexualized vision you have for all forms of touch from the regular common day to day touches that are common in day to day life.

Also...go to Europe, you know how friendly and liberal people are there with touching other people? It's only here people are stuck up pricks about it like you. Because here everyone gets a big boner from trying to correct or act better than everyone else. I wonder how fulfilling your hobby and your life really is, by the fact that you are still attempting to prove him (us) wrong here.

 

[Merciless1]

Wow there is more drama here than on Law and Order

 

[Merciless1]

http://www.featherfeettickling.com/1/post/2013/08/tickle-lovers-guide-to-tickle-action-how-i-tickled-or-got-tickled-by-over-100-girls-and-how-you-can-see-si.html

Quite a few people have been bugging me to write about this.

You're kidding right?

 

[FeatherFeet]

As a matter of fact...no.

People watching my videos comment quite frequently on how I have had not only my current but my ex girlfriend in the videos who loved to tickle me and wanted to know where I found girls into tickling. When I told people that neither them, nor most of my female friends I currently tickle with were into tickling when I met them but rather sorta discovered a love for tickling after knowing me, they wanted details. I wasn't going to write anything, but they kept asking, and I kinda caved and did it....for all the good that has done me here. XD.

 

[Redmage]

I can tell you for a fact that he didn't even look at that site you posted in reply to him until way after the fact--he didn't need to, your principle of permission while noble sounding--is completely stupid for the low level forms of human contact we are talking about--and you still aren't listening to plain English.

There does seem to be a trend here - he just automatically knows things without checking. I gave him a website on which women talk about their feelings regarding non-consensual touch, and he replied (without even reading it) "oh DUH, cuz what women SAY they want is always exactly what they are attracted to right?"

After all, why find out what they have to say when what they say they want isn't what they really want, right? And besides they don't know what they want anyway. Let's just leave it up to a guy who knows how to "read the signals."

That's what he said. That's what you're saying is just fine. And I think that's really all that needs to be said.

I assure you, I am listening to plain English. That IS the plain English.

I, on the other hand, take it QUITE serious when you call my boyfriend a budding rapist. Especially since that is downright slander when nothing could be farther from the truth.
You should probably go fight another crusade, my friend. Because you are kind of like a cop arresting the one kid in town who is drug free by pushing your views here.

It's OK, I think explaining the importance of consensual touch is a worthwhile use of my time.

And speaking of plain English, what I wrote was that your boyfriend is talking like a rapist - and I'm afraid that's still a fact. I even went on to say, in so many words, that I am not saying he IS a rapist, but that he's using the language of one. He is extolling the mindset that rapists use to justify their actions. That mindset is dangerous - whether he's being sarcastic, whether he didn't really mean it when he repeated it twice, or not.

Your statement about "when you know they want it you have to ask but when you don't know if they want it you don't" is also a stupid argument...because in your communities, you are talking about full fledged potentially dangerous sessions. James is talking about a poke in the ribs, a high-five or a hug.

As I explained to your boyfriend, I do in fact ask before I hug someone. And as I mentioned elsewhere on the thread, something like a high-five or a handshake has the request for consent built in: You hold your hand out, or hold it up, and the other person can return the gesture or not as they prefer. So in fact the same rules of consent apply there - they're just an inherent part of the process.

And yes, the same rules apply to a "poke in the ribs."

I suspect, based on the comments you and your boyfriend have made, that you have never been to a tickling gathering. You seem not to know how they work. Asking before touching is mandatory whether the touch is intended to lead to a big sexual tickling session or not. You ask before hugging. You ask before giving them a "1-second poke in the ribs." Whether the touch is sexual or not, you ask first. If you don't, you will be asked to leave.

There is absolutely no rational reason to claim that these rules don't apply to similar situations in everyday life. At a tickle-gathering, you know for a fact that everyone there is into tickling. But that does not mean that they are into tickling or being tickled with you. So you ask, even if the touch you're contemplating isn't remotely sexual.

So claiming that you need not bother to ask when you don't know what the other person is into is silly. Even calling that "non-sexual" is a bit dubious, because the whole reason your boyfriend brought it up was as a tool to get someone who isn't interested in sexual tickling to become interested. It's aimed at serving a fetish interest. So pretending that it's all just innocent fun with no long-term goal whatsoever is more than a little disingenuous.

I wonder how fulfilling your hobby and your life really is, by the fact that you are still attempting to prove him (us) wrong here.

I dunno. I see you're still attempting to prove him right, no?

Here's the bottom line: Your boyfriend recommended touching women without bothering to ask for permission. When several people called him on that he replied that men who ask permission are "wimps" and that what women really want is a man who is "unafraid to GO for it." When that gem of non-consensual wisdom was challenged his reply was that what women say they want isn't what they really want (and in fact they don't even know what they want). He, of course, knows what they really want whether they say, it, or know it, or not.

When someone pointed out what a god-awful set of principles that was, you jumped in and started claiming that he didn't really mean it (even though he said it twice), but that it's true whether he meant it or not.

Those are the facts. If it was all just him deliberately saying things he didn't mean then he has no one to blame but himself for what came back on him as a result. I'm inclined to doubt that myself, but as I said before, it's your story. You tell it the way you want it.

 

[Deleted member 143342]

Redmage...

why the living heck do you keep talking about tickle gatherings and what we don't know about them when we have BOTH clearly stated repeatedly that nothing we are talking about has anything to do with them, and that we have no desire to go to one? I think we've said that numerous times...and I also don't think you citing rules at a tickle gathering has anything to do with anything James and I are talking about. We're talking about regular fun with our regular friends--not a fetish gathering.

How many times do we have to say that? I could go on and on about how you don't know the rules at a poetry reading or at a martial arts tournament and it would have about as much relevancy as your arguments about the rules at a tickle gathering when we have both clearly stated we aren't talking for one, nor do we have any intention of going to one.

Again...part of the trouble here seems to be your ability to talk about people interacting in the real world, because as much as you know about gatherings, you seem to not be able to get off that kick and talk about anything we're actually talking about.

And your lack of being able to separate the sexual tickling versus the regular tickling is as usual for these communities quite stupid and disturbing. James and I tickle my little sister--it's not sexual. Our friends tickle each other all the time--its not sexual. When James and I are alone in the bedroom---that is sexual, but it involves quite a few other things if you get what I mean. The fact that you are assuming that all tickling is sexual for him or me is again, an assumption based on your own experiences which again, is the problem here, because that's what you've been doing this entire time is projecting your own experiences onto everything and presuming you are right in every situation when the clear fact of the matter is, you are not.

 

[Deleted member 143342]

Oh, and as for "you're still trying to defend him aren't you?"

a DUH redmage, he is my boyfriend, of course I'm going to defend him. Whereas he should be nothing to you, yet you seem obsessed with disproving him, even though he clearly gave a final word you didn't even respond to and walked away from this. Maybe he's laughing and not pissed, but I am still quite pissed.

 

[ISUmark]

Yea...this thread should probably be closed. Obviously you guys aren't on the same page nor will ever be in this thread..or possibly ever.

 

[Redmage]

It's true that there's probably not much hope of getting anywhere, but I am curious about one thing: Why ask for consent at all?

After all, if women don't know what they want most of the time, and if you can't trust what they say they want, then why bother asking, ever?

Conversely, if it's worthwhile to ask at all, then it seems that women must know what they want and must be able to convey it when asked. So why not ask every time?

As far as I can tell, the only possible downside to asking is the chance that they will say "no." And if you think that's likely...

 

[Deleted member 143342]

Again Redmage, your argument fell apart simply the fact that what you are arguing against was never what was actually suggested. No one advocated doing anything against someone's consent or when anyone said no, and you are going on in circles with semantics at this point just to try to prove you are right.

I'm not even angry anymore, as much as I feel sorry for how closed minded and ignorant you are...and the short term memory loss of only seeing what you want to see and responding to what you want to respond to.

 

[Redmage]

Again Redmage, your argument fell apart simply the fact that what you are arguing against was never what was actually suggested. No one advocated doing anything against someone's consent or when anyone said no, and you are going on in circles with semantics at this point just to try to prove you are right.

Nope, it's not semantics. It's a simple, straightforward question based on the axioms your boyfriend put forward. As a matter of fact, my question never assumes that anyone is acting against someone's expressed wishes, or continuing when they say "no". On the contrary, I assume that you DO seek consent, and that if someone says "no", you stop. My question, then, is "Why?"

1) Women don't know what they want.
2) Even when they do know what they want, they can't communicate it. You can't trust that what they say they want is what they really want.

You can't claim that he didn't say that, so don't even try. But, taking these as given, why do you suppose that either "yes" or "no" even matters? Presumably the woman giving you either answer doesn't really know what she wants and you can't trust that what she says is what she means anyway. So what difference does it make? Why do you ever ask?

In other words, how do you and your boyfriend square what you claim you do with what you claim you believe?

 

[Deleted member 143342]

*rolls eyes*

He did say that Redmage...but he wasn't acting like it's just women, men too. The "can't communicate it" part he was talking more about life in general in which all of us have desires for things but really can't put it into words. We also have urges and drives that can't be communicated... but to answer your question specifically related to this point:

you must not have much experience with children...because looking at their behavior in relation to our own makes it far simpler to understand. You ever ask a kid what they want? Its a series of no, no, no, no no's most of the time. Now, in a different time, in a different setting, get them to do one of those things they said no too, in another way other than asking, aka, putting some blocks they said they didn't want to play with out in front of them and start playing with them, and they gravitate towards it.

See? They have no idea what they want until they are doing it.

And before you give me your stupid politically correct question about "are you calling grown women children?" YES. And grown men too, because essentially, we gain more awareness, more big words, and responsibilities, but our mentalities pretty much stay the same. Why? because we are always afraid of change, and always weary of something new. And yet, we always cling to what is familiar to us, even if it's bad for us.

How many women stay in a relationship with a guy that abuses them simply because she is familiar with him? And how many women will not get help because that is unfamiliar? They say "I don't want this" but their actions do not go along with their words.

The same can be said for men.

As for the children? 99 times out of 100 they only say no because they are unfamiliar with something. Or because of the way it's presented. How many times do you get the same thing with people with food? They fight to the death against eating it for 3 years, but once they finally eat it somewhere, they love it and can't get enough of it.

This is consistently our experience with friends and tickling...except minus the beginning part where they say no to it for years. All James does and advocates doing is introducing people to something like tickling slowly, and in a particular way as opposed to thrusting the entire responsibility of it on them in words from the beginning in which case it sounds like waaaaaaayyyy tooo much and of course will make most sane people freak out.

I got to admit if James had approached me with the full force of the tickling love from the get go it might have freaked me out. But the way he pretty much took it one step at a time...never too much to make me uncomfortable, got me wanting to explore the idea on my own. (especially since before he gave me some positive tickle memories I only had one or two negative ones from childhood.)

That is essentially what he meant by "women don't know what they want."

I'll have you know a few other things:

James has two MA's and one of them is in sociology, and he had one of his lesser concentrations in women's studies. His publishing company also published a book on the struggles and plights of women in an anthology of poetry from over 70 women, with all the proceeds donated to women's shelters. I also can't tell you how many times James has been there for his friends, females especially going through a crisis and this is one of the reasons we love him so much.

And here is another question for you Mr. Morality judge:
Say a female friend of yours is being abused daily by her husband. You want to call the cops because you are literally afraid for her life...but she says "no. don't call." What do you do?
If the cops were to show up and she was completely traumatized to the extent she was actually throwing punches at them, do you step in, take the punch to the face and hold her tightly, hugging her, even though everything she is doing screams "get the fuck away from me" but you know she's about to get handcuffed if you don't step in and you also know that after a minute of resting her head on your shoulder she's going to cry into it and hug you tightly...which she does.
Do you wait for the permission in all of this?
Because this is something James and I have been through with a friend of ours.
(That friend we are talking about btw, has gone through therapy, is with someone who treats her so much better, and is well on her way to a career as a paralegal and couldn't be happier.)

You, Redmage, judge things too quickly, you judge books by their covers, and you think you know everything.
James might not be right in every situation with his thoughts...and he never claimed to either...he is simply stating what has worked for him because people asked him to.
You on the other hand are trying to act holier than thou and assume you always know what's best in every situation...you do not. And this is the problem with the "follow the rules" crowd. Because even if those rules were put there for a good reason and even if those rules work most of the time (which is arguable in the case of most of your rules in the real world)...there are always, always, always exceptions to the rules.

 

[rhiannon]

Okay....now I have to say something too. Several things that were said in this thread are quite scaring to me, and they include "women don't know what they want". I am a woman, and I know one thing for sure: I know when I DON'T want someone to touch me!

True, you don't always ask for permission before touching someone in every day behavior, but you always run the risk of a negative response there. If someone I don't feel comfortable with touches me, I retreat from them, or I cross my arms. If someone I don't want to be tickled by tickles me, I get mad. Right away. So - sure, you can touch people without assuring yourself of their consent first, but don't be too sure it will always end well.

 

[Deleted member 143342]

Okay....now I have to say something too. Several things that were said in this thread are quite scaring to me, and they include "women don't know what they want". I am a woman, and I know one thing for sure: I know when I DON'T want someone to touch me!

True, you don't always ask for permission before touching someone in every day behavior, but you always run the risk of a negative response there. If someone I don't feel comfortable with touches me, I retreat from them, or I cross my arms. If someone I don't want to be tickled by tickles me, I get mad. Right away. So - sure, you can touch people without assuring yourself of their consent first, but don't be too sure it will always end well.

Of course Rhiannin, but permission isn't always given verbally...expression, body-language, etc are often a factor. James has never once in the time I've known him touched someone who gave a negative response in turn, because their comfort level was always at such that one could tell without verbal expression that it would be ok. (Honestly, I've seen more girls touch him first someway than the other way around.)

 

[rhiannon]

has never once in the time I've known him touched someone who gave a negative response in turn

I guess he was lucky then. I doesn't always have to turn out that way. You can't always be 100% sure that you read expression, body-language etc. right.

 

[Deleted member 143342]

I guess he was lucky then. I doesn't always have to turn out that way. You can't always be 100% sure that you read expression, body-language etc. right.

You can't be 100% sure of ANYTHING rhainnon.

But smiles, hugs, joking expressions-punches on the arms, high-fives, and other such things are simply things that friends do--and these things always proceed any tickle attempt (even light playful ones.) And also--more times than not a gal will try to initiate touch with him before he does with them via a hug or a high-five or something of that nature. (people tend to not condemn girls nearly as much as guys for doing this it seems, as I know no guy has ever gotten angry at me for trying to hug him...just an interesting thing to consider.)

Not trying to fire this thread up again---just saying.

 

[rhiannon]

no guy has ever gotten angry at me for trying to hug him...

Hardly any guy is mad at a girl for trying to touch him. But still, there might be some out there. Just saying.