The TMF Private Message Hall of Shame

[subtle_feather]

Hello everyone. I must admit that I have a certain morbid curiosity to discover the contents of the most absolutely horrible pm's the lovely ladies here at the TMF receive. Ladies, I cordially invite you to share with us your picks for the TMF PM Hall of Shame!

Now, this is not meant as a witchhunt so ladies, if you choose to post here, please post only the text of the pm, NOT the screenname from which it was sent.

I am hopeful that this thread will serve as an example of what not to do, as well as a source of many lulz.

Let the games begin!

 

[Artoo]

Here's a few;

http://www.tickle-brits.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=4022

 

[subtle_feather]

Here's a few;

http://www.tickle-brits.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=4022

Oh looks like I am not the first to think of this--thanks for getting the ball rolling

 

[Helena]

Hi sublte,
I wouldn't reveal the contents of my pms in any public thread to embarrass someone else.
I've been here long enough to realize that no matter what I receive in my box, it's going to be a surprise when I open it. Most of the time, they are lovely messages.

 

[subtle_feather]

Hi sublte,
I wouldn't reveal the contents of my pms in any public thread to embarrass someone else.
I've been here long enough to realize that no matter what I receive in my box, it's going to be a surprise when I open it. Most of the time, they are lovely messages.

Dear Helena,

I certainly respect your position, but please consider the following counterargument.

I would never want anyone's name to be mentioned publicly as the author of an unwanted PM. That would be unduly cruel.

If we can agree that the men who send awful pm's on this forum do so not to be horrible but because they hope that women will respond positively, would it not be useful for those men to know what women like and don't like, will tolerate and will not tolerate?

It might be unpleasant to see one's own handiwork displayed in this thread, but since no one would know who the author was except the author himself and the person who received the message, where is the harm?

P.S.--nice moons

 

[MasterPaladin]

a big one is when they just type A/S/L thats like saying I don't want to waste my time if you don't measure up

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

It might be unpleasant to see one's own handiwork displayed in this thread, but since no one would know who the author was except the author himself and the person who received the message, where is the harm?

I'm not sure what Helena's answer to this reasoning will be. But, here's mine, fwiw...

Many of the guys who send the PMs of which you speak do so to many different gals. Imagine seeing it posted here for everyone to laugh at...esp. if other gals recognize it and join in with thier own coments. There are likely guys who will think the person is funny, stupid, etc. as well. They may join in the ridicule. How would that make YOU feel if you were the sender?

While I understand that the point would be to educate others, I'm not sure that would happen anyway. Half of the guys we're talking about don't even read/post in the open forums. They just PM any female they can find.

My second concern with this is for the women who might actually post what was said. Even without a name, if a guy does see his message copied here, I'd be concerned that they might get upset and write the person who shared it again...only in anger this time.

I don't mean to blow you out of the water in this. I'm just saying that I personally don't think it's a good idea. A little snipit from a message? Perhaps. But, caution is still recommended.

Just my two cents

 

[subtle_feather]

I'm not sure what Helena's answer to this reasoning will be. But, here's mine, fwiw...

I appreciate your reply. Here are a couple of points I'd like to make in response.

Many of the guys who send the PMs of which you speak do so to many different gals. Imagine seeing it posted here for everyone to laugh at...esp. if other gals recognize it and join in with thier own coments. There are likely guys who will think the person is funny, stupid, etc. as well. They may join in the ridicule. How would that make YOU feel if you were the sender?

I imagine it would make me feel embarrassed and remorseful. I think that this is a good thing. There are reams of research that suggest that one of the most effective deterrents for unwanted actions is the negative opinion of one's peers.

My second concern with this is for the women who might actually post what was said. Even without a name, if a guy does see his message copied here, I'd be concerned that they might get upset and write the person who shared it again...only in anger this time.

I understand your point of view, but if you apply the logic of this statement to society at large, I think it has some frightening implications. If someone commits a crime against me, should I not bring that crime to public attention for fear that the criminal will only strike harder at me once I've spoken out? How about cases of sexual harassment in the workplace? Should women avoid speaking out about them for fear of reprisals?


Thanks again for contributing to this lively, if unexpected debate.

 

[Carsomyr]

a big one is when they just type A/S/L thats like saying I don't want to waste my time if you don't measure up

I so baaadly want some random guy to ask me A/S/L because I'd reply:

"20/Sure/I kinda have a thing for doing it in public"

More on topic, I'm with Ann on this one in that bits of a message should be used at the most. Posting peoples private messages in public is about as morally sound as writing PM's of a creepy nature in the first place.

 

[baldadonis]

This would be my counter to that position.

While removing names will hide the identify of the sender from the public, it would be still be known to the sender and receiver of the pm. This will likely be embarrassing to the sender to see his message in a public thread.

Even if the senders of inappropriate pm's need some education ok how to more politely correspond, I don't think embarrassing those people in a public thread is the answer. If women want to be proactive with these pmers they can reply directly and tell them their behavior is unacceptable and why.

However, most likely most of the people that send inappropriate pm's aren't going to be active forum members reading threads like this. So a thread like this is probably more an exercise for people that receive bad pm's to share them with other such people. That's not necessarily a horrible thing, but let's be realistic that the goal of educating bad pmers is not likely to be accomplished in this manner.

I like the idea of this thread, but I have a problem with the execution. And the idea of making pm's public, even if the names are removed, personally makes me uncomfortable.

Dear Helena,

I certainly respect your position, but please consider the following counterargument.

I would never want anyone's name to be mentioned publicly as the author of an unwanted PM. That would be unduly cruel.

If we can agree that the men who send awful pm's on this forum do so not to be horrible but because they hope that women will respond positively, would it not be useful for those men to know what women like and don't like, will tolerate and will not tolerate?

It might be unpleasant to see one's own handiwork displayed in this thread, but since no one would know who the author was except the author himself and the person who received the message, where is the harm?

P.S.--nice moons

 

[Mz Chaos]

a big one is when they just type A/S/L thats like saying I don't want to waste my time if you don't measure up

LOL... I love it when folks ask me that!

My answer's vary but I love to type stuff like...

Older than Dirt/ A Little of this and a Little of that/ Somewhere between the Atlantic Ocean and the Pacific Ocean.

 

[baldadonis]

I notice while I was posting, that Ann basically stated my concerns, albeit perhaps a bit more clearly than I did. Thanks, Ann.

As to your last post, let's not get carried away by comparing bad pm's to crimes. That's a bad metaphor. A pm is more like an awkward message on your voicemail. You either delete it or reply to the sender to stop bothering or maybe not to say certain things to you. Unless the voicemail was in some way threatening, it's not a crime.

Understand that I'm definitely not in favor of women getting walked all over by inappropriate pmers, I just think public outing of a private conversation isn't the way to go about it. Reply directly, block the person, or tell a moderator. There are ways to convey negative reinforcement that are more tactful than this.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

Well, while I see the points of those who have responded so far, I don't see any harm in this thread. If someone recognizes their own handywork, I hope it'll make them think twice before they PM someone else with that same garbage. If they don't, as a few have stated they're likely not active posters, well then, no harm no foul. Also, they may feel embarrassed or angry, but it's not like anyone will know who they are except the person they PM'ed with those shenanigans.

I, for one, think this is an awesome idea for several reasons, and I fully intend to participate.

These are just snippets from PMs that weren't entirely creepy, but definitely overzealous. I was trying to be patient with this guy, because he was brand new to the TMF and struggling to make friends. I told him repeatedly that he was overstepping boundaries, but he just. didn't. get it. (Bold is him - not bold is me)

have u ever cried or peed when u got tickled? would u be mad if someone made u pee?
No I never have. Yes I'd be mad.
you didn't even cry or pee after an hour? lol. i don't wanna make u mad, but i think it would be fun to see if i could get u to that point, but then let u go to the bathroom right before so i don't get my butt kicked. lol.

have u ever been tickled naked?
Not an appropriate question.
if you are okay with naked tickling in general, things could get even worse for u cuz then u couldn't hide any of your spots behind clothes. lol.


Will u please rate each spot on a scale from 1-10? 10 is most ticklish!
**answers removed for the sake of length**
no offense, but for being so ticklish, some of ur numbers seem kinda low. lol. 5s? lol. i expected more 10s and maybe some 12s or off the charts spots. lol.

That one was more for educational purposes. Guys, listen to what girls tell you. "I don't like that" does not mean "let's discuss it," and saying something is inappropriate is not meant as encouragement to elaborate.


I also get countless PMs about me and Euphoricy's sig pic...some examples are...(note: These are not snippets, but the PM I received in its entirety... )

#1) What size are the girl you are holdings feet they look big. thanks.


#2) Hi. I was just wondering, that girl you are holding in your signature pic. Did you get to tickle her rainbow socked feet? If so, how badly ticklish were they? That's a great pic. Don't mean to pry. Thanks
Saying "don't mean to pry" does give you permission to pry...just like saying "no offense" doesn't give you permission to say something offensive...

And lastly, an example of how EASY it is to send a non-threatening PM to open the door for communication.

'm 19! I figured I'd drop you a line. Meeting people on this forum is pretty awesome and I'd really like to get to know you.

Look at that. Simple, polite, and effective. Do this.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

I understand your point of view, but if you apply the logic of this statement to society at large, I think it has some frightening implications. If someone commits a crime against me, should I not bring that crime to public attention for fear that the criminal will only strike harder at me once I've spoken out? How about cases of sexual harassment in the workplace? Should women avoid speaking out about them for fear of reprisals?

I'll simply agree to disagree on the first two points. On this one, however...

We're in two totally different ballparks here. Someone sending an unwanted or annoying PM once, or even twice is one thing. Sexual harassment and crime are nowhere near the same. An annoying/unwanted PM here can be deleted. If the person is repeatedly problematic after being asked to cease and desist, the PM(s) can be forwarded to the mods so that the person can be dealt with appropriately.

I have other concerns with this as well. But, I'll leave it at this since they would likely get us OT in any further debate.

 

[Rupert]

as always, the simplest of thread idea's are read into wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to much


THANKS SKIP FOR POSTING THOSE!!!
they were random, funny, and quite strange at times......I feel for you chica

Plus you last one on the correct way to post will deff help guys who are wondering how exactly to start a PM conversation

hopefully once all the PC issues blow over more folks will post

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

hopefully once all the PC issues blow over more folks will post

I'm not talking about being PC, Rupert. I get sick of all the PC cries myself. What I'm talking about is showing respect and consideration for other people....something largely ignored on the internet. I'm not in favor of guys sending messages like this. But, some simply don't know any better. There are other means of showing them the error of their ways without being cruel.

People will either post or not post. That's fine and dandy. I only responded as I did because of the question asking where the harm was.

 

[baldadonis]

I think the points Ann and I made are valid ones. We are reading into this thread exactly what is there, nothing more. That said, I stated my opinion on this. If others think the thread is great and want to post more pm's, more power to them. Hopefully this will turn out to be an enlightening, educational exercise.

 

[kis123]

a big one is when they just type A/S/L thats like saying I don't want to waste my time if you don't measure up

A=age
S=sex
L=???

To the OP; I can't even begin some of the most ridiculous PMs I've gotten:

Are you female?
What size r ur feet?
Where r u ticklish?
Can you show me pics of your feet?

And other bunches of nonsense! Creeped me the hell out when I first started here. I even had one stalk me on IM to the point I stopped using it for two years!

 

[lemoncake]

I would love to post one of the most recent ones I got, but its very long, and very annoying, and involves someone's father/daughter fantasy and then a uncle fantasy. I honestly almost threw up a little in my mouth when I read it.

 

[Adam]

I can see both sides of this argument very clearly, but frankly, posting some of these as a warning to the offenders wouldn't bother me too much. Why? Because while some are just socially awkward, there are those who are habitual offenders that have not learned. Those are the types that need to be dealt with. Many of you know that there was one guy who was just recently banned for propositioning just about every active female on the forum, in some cases 2 or 3 times a piece. I think Baldadonis makes a good point that the bulk of the offenders probably won't notice a thread like this anyway, but I've long been in favor of a stronger deterrent against that sort of thing.

 

[Dussicar]

How come nobody sends me any messed up, twisted PM's?

Am I not worth your freakish attention? Does my personality not read "I love to hear about feet, piss, and cow dung??" Are you not enamoured with my openess to conversations involving bunions, calluses(sp?), herpes and corns??? And what the fuck is this smiley supposed to mean??????

 

[Marquis De Sade]

I would think it'd be common sense to know how not to offend someone but it happens and will continue to happen regardless of threads like this where the topic is debated or creepy/inappropriate PM's, albeit nameless ones, are made public. Sad but true.

Case in point, just a few days ago there was a certain someone who made the rounds here leaving the same "Wanna session?" visitor message for all the women here he could find. He was warned by a mod and STILL continued to do it. Trying to educate someone who doesn't have the capacity for understanding or the want to in the first place is a waste of time.

I don't understand why the social rules of real life seem not to apply on the internet, at least in COMMUNITIES such as this one.

 

[kis123]

A=age
S=sex
L=???

Just figured out what the "L" meant......thanks!

 

[Dussicar]

I don't understand why the social rules of real life seem not to apply on the internet, at least in COMMUNITIES such as this one.

Basically, because their goatee sporting, comic book collecting, horn-rimmed glasses wearing asses don't have to actually make real eye contact.

I hate to say it, but that is pretty much it.

 

[Sandrock74]

Basically, because their goatee sporting, comic book collecting, horn-rimmed glasses wearing asses don't have to actually make real eye contact.

I hate to say it, but that is pretty much it.

Hey! I'm a goatee sporting and comic book collecting person...and I have never sent a creepy PM (that I am aware of). I never got one either, now that I think of it. I also don't mind making eye contact with people, unless I am otherwise occupied