Dave2112
Level of Cherry Feather
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2001
- Messages
- 10,292
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Well, our little Viktor is six months old and in that time I've learned a few things. Of course, the first thing you learn is that all that fluffy bullshit about unconditional love and such...is actually all true. 😀 Our little guy, affectionately nicknamed "Boog", is a true treasure in every sense of the word.
But, there are more specific things I've learned about fatherhood that I thought I'd share with those expecting...and those who have been there.
- A baby's ability to sleep is in direct opposed correlation to a couple's desire to have sex.
- Only a puppy can even begin to rival a baby's ability to turn a grown man into a goofy, babbling idiot.
- Strained peas are actually pretty fuckin' good.
- Poopy diapers are kinda cute...for the first three months. After that, processed uranium is a more desirable clean-up project.
- After all these years, Sesame Street is still awesome and Barney still sucks.
- Fairly OddParents is brilliant.
- Grandparents know everything. Which would have been nice when they were parents...
- Dad Tip from Dave...Throw shit out so you can go to the store and buy more. It's the only break you'll get. 😉
- Sleep is a commodity rivaled only by oxygen and porn.
- When an adult pees on you, it's Golden Shower Night at The Vault. When your baby does it...it's Tuesday.
Happy parenting!!!
But, there are more specific things I've learned about fatherhood that I thought I'd share with those expecting...and those who have been there.
- A baby's ability to sleep is in direct opposed correlation to a couple's desire to have sex.
- Only a puppy can even begin to rival a baby's ability to turn a grown man into a goofy, babbling idiot.
- Strained peas are actually pretty fuckin' good.
- Poopy diapers are kinda cute...for the first three months. After that, processed uranium is a more desirable clean-up project.
- After all these years, Sesame Street is still awesome and Barney still sucks.
- Fairly OddParents is brilliant.
- Grandparents know everything. Which would have been nice when they were parents...
- Dad Tip from Dave...Throw shit out so you can go to the store and buy more. It's the only break you'll get. 😉
- Sleep is a commodity rivaled only by oxygen and porn.
- When an adult pees on you, it's Golden Shower Night at The Vault. When your baby does it...it's Tuesday.
Happy parenting!!!
