This Is A [RANT] WARNING: Take your BP Meds Before Clicking!

[Azrael]

This, is a RANT.

I am SICK, and TIRED, of SOMETHING, so I'm putting it up HERE. I feel like DOGGY POO tonight, I think I'll make myself a BARBIE DRINK.

I'm just SICK of THIS. And THAT...!!! Especially, THAT!

So, before reading on, and figuring out what EXACTLY I'm sick of, you'd better take your medication. Do you have high blood pressure? Are you diabetic? Depressed? Have S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder), B.A.D. (Borderline Affective Disorder), or M.A.D. (My Affective Disorder)? Are you hyper, or lethargic?

I just don't want any cases of sudden heart attacks or plummeting sugar levels attributed to people who were subjected to my godlessly ungodly RANT.





I want you to know, that in this RANT, I am not poking fun at anybody specific, nor at any generalized groups, and I am not going to indicate the people I am about to indicate as being at all indicative in the aforementioned matter.

People, are people, and will always be people, and you can't blame people for being people, nor for being like the people who are the people that are like the people that people have always wanted to be like.

Those I am pointing the finger which I am not pointing at, at, at, with this RANT, know who they are, and I know they know who they are, and they know that I know that they know that I like vanilla ice cream, but I am NOT, at ALL, a vanilla person, perchance, persay, methinks. I believe I am more chocolately, with a heavy infusion of berry flavor, and I want Ben & Jerry's to put me in a pint-sized container although I AM NOT A MIDGET..! and I resent, any insinuations, to the contrary.

I am, simply put, berry-flavored.

I have temporarily forever lost my lack of loss of not being a person who is not un-ticklish.

I played a Country Western song backwards, and I STILL lost my woman, my truck, my dog, and my sobriety. I didn't get ANY of it back, but I got some of it right in front.

I could go on, but I suppose I'd better get to the actual RANT

...

HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!

(From the TMF's own licensed, appointed, elected, and appropriated director, dictator, and usurper of the beaurocratic board of fooldom, tomfoolery, cow-tipping, lunacy, ludicrous speed, and foolocracy)

 

[isabeau]

could you repeat that please? it flew right over my head...

 

[Azrael]

Disclaimer

...

I should probably make a note of the fact that, while certain references from the preceding post might be readily identifiable with regards to their being parodies of other members' statements in recent threads, I am not in any way, shape, manner, or form attempting to make any statement regarding their thoughts, feelings, opinions, or facts, with my "RANT." It's just a joke, and I drew on some recent material... and I hope that everybody has a fun, and... interesting? April Fool's Day.

...

 

[Azrael]

could you repeat that please? it flew right over my head...

The point is, QUITE simply... that this university will no longer consider any funding, of any kind, for your group's activities.

Your theories are the WORST kind of popular tripe, your methods are sloppy, and your conclusions are highly questionable YOU... are a POOR scientist, Dr. Venkman.

 

[BigJim]

Wanker. 😀

 

[isabeau]

The point is, QUITE simply... that this university will no longer consider any funding, of any kind, for your group's activities.

Your theories are the WORST kind of popular tripe, your methods are sloppy, and your conclusions are highly questionable YOU... are a POOR scientist, Dr. Venkman.

hmmm i don't accept that theory and raise you five chips..o rats wrong thread lol..

 

[Azrael]

*gasp*

...You have CHIPS???



GIVE ME YOUR CHIPS!

(I like chips...)

 

[venray]

That's it...I am tired of all of you....everyone is conspiring against me so I am leaving the forum forever....NO...I will NOT change my mind...

 

[venray]

I'm back...did ya miss me...?... 😕

 

[isabeau]

That's it...I am tired of all of you....everyone is conspiring against me so I am leaving the forum forever....NO...I will NOT change my mind...

hmmm but ray......we wuv you...we couldn't live without you...we uh...o go ahead leave hehehe...

sure i have chips...chips ahoy, chips and dips....chips and crackers....chips on a shoulder...you know something...i've been posting too much today for some reason....i'm leaving now...forever and ever...don't try to stop me...i am for good....good and plenty....or whatever candy you prefer...and no snickering....get it? anyhoo it's a beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeutiful day outside..and i'm going out now...don't try to talk me into staying...i;m gone...after all my ticklishness has forsaken me...

ok what is this thread about aagain???

 

[Azrael]

I'm back...did ya miss me...?... 😕

YOU SOLIDIFIED BBQ WEASEL-GROPER!

Glad to have you back. Somebody call the Swiss? Please? They can stop looking...

...

...

...

...what do you MEAN their clockworks broke down? Haven't they gone digital YET?

...

Freakin' Swiss and their chocolate and their... cheese... and mountains.

 

[venray]

<center>

 

[BigJim]

I'm back...did ya miss me...?... 😕

There's a few people who wish I had.

 

[Azrael]

Tz

<center>

...I saw a bloopers clip where he stumbled over something he was trying to say, and did the typical tongue-out 'blehhhhh' reaction. His tongue was freakin' HUGE. It was hysterical.

 

[Azrael]

[RANT] part Deuce

This, is part DEUCE

(...no offense, Deuce.)

While focusing intently on the intent to focus intently, in a focused manner, on the subject of the preceding RANT and the content contained scrupulously within the subject matter therein, it has come to my focused attention that the subject of said content was unintentionally diverted (due to a lack of focus) and, furthermore, that errant paths of discussion erred most errantly off the beaten trail, due to the beaters being clumsy, and the trail being improperly beaten by those whose occupation it is to beat the trail most soundly before sending it to bed without milk or cookies.

It must be clearly understood, with clarity, and a sense of crystalline comprehension, the meaning that I am attempting to convey to you through this moderately mystifying medium of toughened transitions, of wild, wayfaring words and zippering zionics.

...I don't believe 'zippering zionics' makes ANY sense at all, in context, and would ask for you to completely disregard its inappropriate presence, as such is a divergence from the clarity of the siren's call message which I am still attempting to convey with complete and utter accuracy towards the intention of focused mysticism and bagel sandwiches... with, vegetable cream cheese spread.

It is most improper to eat a proper bagel sandwich sans the proper and appropriate spread, which may or may not be vegetable cream cheese but IF IT IS...



...IF it is, then to HECK with all of you who might have disregarded this message of divine propriety in the partial and persnicketty perpendiculars of the apparent PAST.

The message conveys thusly: I am SIMPLY tired of all of the sickness and the tiredness surrounding my tired sickness. The apathy of caring has increased in direct disproportion to the caring of apathy (...no offense, Apathy) and as an indirect result of direct relation to the results of directing the indirectly resulting directions, one arrives in Venice, California, instead of Venice, Italy, and promptly claims the coastline for Spain, which makes NO sense WHATSOEVER!

You people, have simply got to start making sense of the sensibilities surrounding the surreptitiously saturated sandbars of solicitatious studying that sink and swallow these forums. Someone has got to do SOMETHING about nobody doing anything when everybody's looking to somebody for nobody doing nothing about anything having to do with anyone at all.

Nobody. Nobody at all.

 

[isabeau]

peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers...a peck of pickled peppers peter piper picked...if peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers..how many pecks of pickled peppers did peter piper pick?

she sells shells by the seashore..

six slick slithery snakes sliding slowly southward...

 

[Azrael]

Keep those snakes AWAY from my SOUTHWARD!

 

[Bugman]

That's it...I am tired of all of you....everyone is conspiring against me so I am leaving the forum forever....NO...I will NOT change my mind...

LMAO Ray.😀

 

[venray]

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. —Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain [George III] is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us, in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by the Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

 

[isabeau]

four score and seven years ago, our fore fathers brought forth upon this nation...etc.. etc... etc...

and ray....don't confuse me any more than i am now...

 

[venray]

Not possible Mel.....

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[kis123]

You all have lost your minds!

Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light?

What so proudly we wave by the twilight's last gleaming?

 

[venray]

 

[Bugman]

I would like to go on record here as saying you are all mad,quite mad.That must be why i fit in so well here.

 

[BigJim]

In which case Mr Washington sir, I would like to take this opportunity to say that you are the most trumped up, farty little smeghead, it has ever been my misfortune, to encounter!

*Does Hermann Munster laugh*