Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down
In theory, theory and practice are the same.
In practice, they're not.
The sum intelligence in the world is a constant....
....The population is growing.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Usenet is the delusion that all subjects can be classified in a neat hierarchy.
Common sense and conscience are like a muscle. If you don't use a muscle it gets weaker and weaker.
If the human brain was simple enough for us to understand, we would still be so stupid that we couldn't understand it.
"As a matter of fact" is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn't.
There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
The amount of sleep required by the average person is about five minutes more.
Romance is like a game of chess - one false move and you're mated.
If you have tried your hand at something and failed, the next best thing is to try your head.
As you slide down the bannister of life, may the splinters never point your way.
A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time.
A good way to get your name in the newspaper is to cross the street reading one.
They tell us courtesy is contagious. So why not start an epidemic.
Good judgement comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgement!
It's always easy to see both sides of an issue we are not particularly concerned about.
Children disgrace us in public by behaving just like we do at home.
Often the same thing that makes one person bitter makes another better.
Love looks through a telescope; envy looks through a microscope.
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
A real friend is a person who, when you've made a fool of yourself, lets you forget it.
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
A modern murderer is supposed to be innocent until he/she is proven insane.
Science has found that insanity is hereditary...parents get it from their children.
Lecturing has been described as the passing of information from the lecturer's notes to the students' notes without passing through the brain of either.
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
Mathematicians are a species of Frenchman: if you say something to them, they translate it into their own language and presto! it is something completely different.
Scientists animated by the purpose of proving that they are purposeless are an interesting object of study.
The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is that you usually have to eat them.
Don't be a carbon copy of something. Make your own impressions.
To really know a man, observe his behaviour with a woman, a flat tyre, and a child.
No matter what you do, someone always knew you would.
Have you noticed that an optimist is always able to see the bright side of other people's troubles?
Just why do men lie about each other when the plain truth would be bad enough?
Ideas are like children: no matter how much you like other people's, you can't help thinking your own are the best.
Intimacy has been defined as 'what you can scratch, in front of whom, and whose it is'.
Human history is a drama in which the stories stay the same, the scripts of those stories change slowly with evolving cultures, and the stage settings change all the time.
In theory, theory and practice are the same.
In practice, they're not.
The sum intelligence in the world is a constant....
....The population is growing.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Usenet is the delusion that all subjects can be classified in a neat hierarchy.
Common sense and conscience are like a muscle. If you don't use a muscle it gets weaker and weaker.
If the human brain was simple enough for us to understand, we would still be so stupid that we couldn't understand it.
"As a matter of fact" is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn't.
There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
The amount of sleep required by the average person is about five minutes more.
Romance is like a game of chess - one false move and you're mated.
If you have tried your hand at something and failed, the next best thing is to try your head.
As you slide down the bannister of life, may the splinters never point your way.
A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time.
A good way to get your name in the newspaper is to cross the street reading one.
They tell us courtesy is contagious. So why not start an epidemic.
Good judgement comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgement!
It's always easy to see both sides of an issue we are not particularly concerned about.
Children disgrace us in public by behaving just like we do at home.
Often the same thing that makes one person bitter makes another better.
Love looks through a telescope; envy looks through a microscope.
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
A real friend is a person who, when you've made a fool of yourself, lets you forget it.
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
A modern murderer is supposed to be innocent until he/she is proven insane.
Science has found that insanity is hereditary...parents get it from their children.
Lecturing has been described as the passing of information from the lecturer's notes to the students' notes without passing through the brain of either.
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
Mathematicians are a species of Frenchman: if you say something to them, they translate it into their own language and presto! it is something completely different.
Scientists animated by the purpose of proving that they are purposeless are an interesting object of study.
The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is that you usually have to eat them.
Don't be a carbon copy of something. Make your own impressions.
To really know a man, observe his behaviour with a woman, a flat tyre, and a child.
No matter what you do, someone always knew you would.
Have you noticed that an optimist is always able to see the bright side of other people's troubles?
Just why do men lie about each other when the plain truth would be bad enough?
Ideas are like children: no matter how much you like other people's, you can't help thinking your own are the best.
Intimacy has been defined as 'what you can scratch, in front of whom, and whose it is'.
Human history is a drama in which the stories stay the same, the scripts of those stories change slowly with evolving cultures, and the stage settings change all the time.
