Tickling Ethics

[helplessandhappy]

Just a thought. I've tickled a few girls/women, who I was not in a relationship at the time. Sometimes I've tickled them several times or quite a lot. Later, they've found out that it was a fetish for me because I dated them or just hooked up with them and got talking.

You know how many have cared or felt used? Or said anything negative about previous ticklings?

Zero.

Several have then encouraged it, even when we weren't in a relationship. You might be overthinking this.

You've gotten lucky, but it doesn't mean it couldn't piss some people off.

 

[06Alphaman]

You've gotten lucky, but it doesn't mean it couldn't piss some people off.

Yeah. It could be luck...that's one reason that I posed the question. Since there are some women here who are into tickling and have been tickled...I sort of wondered what the perspectives might be.

Mr-Tickle may have just been lucky. And the same for me.

But here is my perspective. For me, tickling is a personal thing. It is an invasion of normal/regular space. You don't just go up to someone...usually...and start tickling. For any reason. When I say "you"...I mean me.

I go really slow. I have to know someone. And then...I might "innocently" feel the person out. "Hmmm, I bet you are ticklish". And wait for the reaction. If it is clear that the other is not feeling the tickling thing...then there is no reason to pursue it further.

Another thing is contact. If I have a female friend and we are close enough that we hug each other or touch each other on the shoulder or arm or knee...just casually as friends...I will eventually see that as a possible opportunity. After a while...I might sneak a quick tickle, just to gauge the reaction. And then talk about it casually based on the reaction. And I will respond in the future based on that. If it is a no go, then that's cool. If it is a maybe...that's cool. If she either is positive about it...or into it...that's good to know. But this way...it is harder to make a mistake in terms of being offensive with the tickling.

When I was younger, sometimes I would be playing and accidentally get busted. And a lady would say" Oh...I knew you liked tickling...but you REALLY like tickling!" And when it happened, they would still be laughing. And then we might have a conversation about it. Which has always worked out...even if it didn't lead to anything sexual.

 

[rhiannon]

Second, the lady I am talking about...we have been friends for more than four years. And she is gorgeous. But we are not pursuing a relationship. We flirt a lot though. I take her out to formal functions that I have for work or in my community. And we flirt and play with each other.

This kinda makes me think even IF she found out later that you are into tickling it wouldn't be such a big deal as there already is a sexual innuendo between you two. Women are usually well aware when a touch has something to do with sexuality, and if we don't welcome it, most of us will let the other person know. Then of course in some constellations the damage might be done already, but I don't think this will be the case here.

Note I said I THINK. I might be totally wrong.

 

[06Alphaman]

Update

I spent half the day with my friend. We talked on Friday. She had an event to attend and I said that I would meet her there. I did. She was happy to see me. I took her to lunch. The night before...she said that she needed to get a manicure. I told her that I would take her...since I knew we would be together. But it turned out that the wait was going to be long. So she decided to get her nails done tomorrow.

Yet...I got to slip in some tickle questions. She says that she does her own pedis....because she can't stand for people to touch her feet: she is too ticklish. Excellent. I asked her if she didn't like being tickled and she didn't answer directly...she said that she needs people to get deep and hard after her feet for the pedicure...hard core...because she has a lot of wear and tear on her feet. So...I'm not clear on whether she hates it or not. I later asked her if she was ticklish anywhere else but her feet...she said she didn't know.

My little plan did not work. But I have some new information. And we are going out on a date in two weeks.

Looks like I am taking her to the nail place tomorrow. But she is a little squeamish about be hanging around watching and waiting for her. So...it won't be like what I imagined. But it is good. I might try to sneak in a tickle soon. Nothing sexual. Just testing some tickle waters.

 

[rhiannon]

Yet...I got to slip in some tickle questions. She says that she does her own pedis....because she can't stand for people to touch her feet: she is too ticklish. Excellent. I asked her if she didn't like being tickled and she didn't answer directly...she said that she needs people to get deep and hard after her feet for the pedicure...hard core...because she has a lot of wear and tear on her feet. So...I'm not clear on whether she hates it or not. I later asked her if she was ticklish anywhere else but her feet...she said she didn't know.

Evading the question and giving answers like "I don't know" are a sign that she feels uncomfortable about the topic. Tread carefully!

 

[06Alphaman]

I agree. And I will. I always do. Thanks for the advice though...that is just the kind of feedback I am looking for.

Even though I have known her for years...it's only been months since I wondered about her ticklishness. And even then...it took quite a while for me to even ask the question(s). The "read" I went away with was that she doesn't want to be tickled. So, I won't push it at all. It is more about paying attention for an opportunity.

We have our hands on each other frequently...and affectionately. I actually suspect that she will sooner or later, try to tickle me on my "spot" if she remembers. I doubt she will remember though...the tickling part of our conversation was casual...not something one would remember unless it was a turn off or something interesting. But if she tickles me...I will tickle back. LOL. Or if she has some smart ass comment at my expense...which happens in fun...I might "punish" her with a tickle attempt.

I'm not really trying to turn her into a tickle partner or even turn her on to tickling. No. I'm mostly just curious about that aspect of her. Our friendship is not about tickling at all.

 

[rhiannon]

Our friendship is not about tickling at all.

I don't know any friendships that are. 😀

It just kinda raises a red flag to me that in a friendship like that a question about ticklishness is ignored. Makes me suspicious.

 

[06Alphaman]

Thanks. That's good to know. I appreciate it.

 

[KaBand]

I think to start there is no harm like just doing it but as it gets more elaborate you should inform your partner.

Last thing you want is a partner who's not going to allow you to indulge.

 

[06Alphaman]

I think to start there is no harm like just doing it but as it gets more elaborate you should inform your partner.

Last thing you want is a partner who's not going to allow you to indulge.

I think you are right.

My challenge is that I'm not really looking for a partner or a serious relationship. My friend for now...is just a friend. A hella pretty friend. But I'm mostly just curious about her ticklishness or lack thereof. I don't "necessarily" have motives beyond that. LOL...until I do...right?

My ex wife didn't allow me to indulge...it just wasn't her thing. Quite the contrary...with an exception. And we were married for 20 years and together for longer than that. Today...I have one tickle friend...and another who will indulge me. So, I'm okay.

I think you are right though. The trick is to monitor it. As it gets more elaborate...or starts taking a turn (even a one sided turn), then disclosure is the way to go. I don't want to "use" someone for tickling. And even though it might be relatively rare...I find that there are plenty of women who don't have a problem with being tickled. Thus...I don't sweat it if one of my friends is not tickled or doesn't like being tickled. It's cool.

LOL. I like big breasteses too. But I don't go around trying to grab all the breasts that I see. I'm okay.

 

[P[a]pi]

I don't think you have to ask someone who you have already flirted with (and got positive feedback) if you can tickle them. You are literally talking about a few seconds of tickling. The only time I think you have to explain your tickling fetish to someone is when you want bondage and/or a session, etc.

 

[06Alphaman]

Update. No tickling. But.

So, I took my friend to an affair this weekend. Dress up. Great food. Good People. Dancing. About 200 people. Ages ranged from 25 years old to 85 years old. It was a community thing, fundraiser for scholarships. My friend wore this exceptional dress. Pretty, accentuated the right places. Stopped at mid thigh. I swear it was like Cinderella. The ladies were a bit envious. The men were impressed. She and I had a good time.

We had not gone out dancing before. But the DJ was good. She and I were on the floor many times. She had her hands all over me. We danced close and apart. She was whispering in my ear that now that we have danced...we should just go dancing more often. LOL. I am down with that. Some of my male friends tried to cut in or ask her to the floor. She smiled and thanked them...while putting her arms around me or her hands on me...kind of sending a signal that she was just gonna be with me for the night.

I had plenty to do. Tickling was not on the menu and not part of my agenda for the night.

But our contact with each other...already established...was kicked up a notch. She was leaning into my body, putting my arms around her. And she let me know that she definitely wanted to do this kind of thing more.

My point is that I am pretty confident that I have any opportunity that I want to slip a tickling probe in. She was whispering, saying a few naughty things, and so forth...it would have been natural for me to go for it. But. It was a great night...not really a tickling moment. Still. Here is my revised plan. Lets see if anyone likes it.

 

[06Alphaman]

I have not set a new date for a date yet. It might be a few weeks. It might be this weekend. I don't know. I'm pretty busy. But she lives near me, short walking distance. So we will see each other. We talk and text too. If we are hanging out at my house...and get close...I might look for a tickling opportunity. But I might still wait a while. Some folks probably wonder why I am taking so long to tickle her. The answer is that we are friends...not a couple...and we are not yet even friends with benefits. I don't necessarily feel that I can just put my hands on her in just "any" kind of way that I want...er...well...but actually...I think I just recently reached that point.

So the basic thing will just be improvisational. If there is a good moment, I will do it. If not. I won't. Tickling is not the center of my universe. But when I do tickle her...if she is ticklish...I will start right away to let her know that I like tickling...and that I like tickling her. Then I will be paying attention to her reactions to that. My future behavior will be guided by that. Thing is...that a person who is not ticklish or who doesn't like to be tickled...is not a problem for me. I can respect that. My friend will be a friend whether she is ticklish or not.

I have had friends in the past yell "do not tickle me!" LOL. Some of them meant it. Some of them didn't. But no means no. So if a friend has said no...they have to come back around and say yes or otherwise indicate that they want me to tickle them before I do it again. And oh, the stories I could tell. I've had friends who liked to laugh...and people who could make them laugh...were attractive to them such that tickling became something that they wanted to happen. Sometimes it was a sexual thing...sometimes it became foreplay...most times it was just a friendship thing.

So far, this thing I have is a friendship thing. We will see if tickling ever gets added. I'm not pursuing a romantic relationship with her or anyone else for about 4 more years (she and I talked about this), and she mostly just wants to enjoy her younger years while she still can...go out and sing and dance and look pretty and have fun. So that's our relationship. We are not a couple. Not planning to be. But we are growing pretty close in terms of friendship. I had surprised her at one of her events at a park and when she saw me...her face lit up and she ran to me and hugged me tight. I've got part of it on video. Excellent. I'm pretty happy.

I like things the way they are. I'm just curious about the tickle factor. Stay tuned.

 

[06Alphaman]

Oh...and I wish that I could share a picture or video. I have both. But I can't do it. Here is how I would describe her though: Ashlee Renee Light.

Features are similar but my friend has bigger lips.
Breasts are nice size but significantly less than AS
The rest of the figure...identical. And she is in her mid 30s.
34-22-35

After the affair that we attended, I went to a BBQ with some of the same people who were at the affair. I didn't bring my friend. But my phone was blowing up before the BBQ...and both the men and women were all up in my mug asking about my friend. They were more than impressed. I had put pictures that she sent to me on one of my social media pages. And my friends gave rave reviews. So she was funny...because she thanked me...and then sent me more pictures! Hilarious. She's a Diva. She knows she is beautiful. She tries to "play" like she is shy about that. LOL. But no. She loves the attention.

Cool. I'm good. Happy.

I just want to know if she is ticklish.

(Reminder...I have known her for 4 or 5 years. We are not dating, but I have taken her out many times over the past couple of years. And she has hung out with me at my house more than that. So I am not pimping her for tickling nor imposing my little tickle thing on her). But I am ready to play...and I am curious. My confession is that if she is moderately to very ticklish...yeah...I'm probably gonna start thinking of her in a different way. But I will let her know. I think it will be good. Indeed...we are almost at a stage that if she was interested in me romantically...she would be wondering why I haven't made a move yet. Perfect

Or...she most likely just wants someone nice and safe to be able to hang out with and have fun. I can live with that too. Happily. But enquiring minds want to know: "Is you ticklish?" LOL. Ebonics intended.

 

[duderino84]

Ok, here's what I've learned. If you ask if a girl is ticklish, an answer means nothing. If you ask if they are ok with tickling, the answer means nothing. If you act on it, it will be out of place.

The only time it is ok is if the girl or guy encourages you to discuss/act.

Then again, I've pissed off prospects into it too just by being myself.

Hope it helps.

 

[ticklish2011]

you don't have to tell it unless you play with your xxx or jerk on her...

I don't tell this is my fetish. What I tell is I like tickling and behaving sadistical.

People in my country do not know even foot fetish. So fetish means weird for lots of people...

If you both like eachother and let to tickle, then you could name your relationship as ticklebuddy.

 

[Vanillaphant]

I don't mean to be a dick or anything, and I realize it's not my job to point these things out, but it seems to me that this has now become ideal BLOG material. You started the thread with a reasonable enough enquiry, and now you seem determined to turn it into some kind of weird tickle-based soap opera. lol

 

[duderino84]

[ QUOTE=Vanillaphant;3830177]I don't mean to be a dick or anything, and I realize it's not my job to point these things out, but it seems to me that this has now become ideal BLOG material. You started the thread with a reasonable enough enquiry, and now you seem determined to turn it into some kind of weird tickle-based soap opera. lol[/QUOTE]
So should we have a cap limit on threads? Is that your implication? I mean, it's experience. Tho sometimes I wonder what planet these success stories come from myself...

 

[duderino84]

[ QUOTE=Vanillaphant;3830177]I don't mean to be a dick or anything, and I realize it's not my job to point these things out, but it seems to me that this has now become ideal BLOG material. You started the thread with a reasonable enough enquiry, and now you seem determined to turn it into some kind of weird tickle-based soap opera. lol

So should we have a cap limit on threads? Is that your implication? I mean, it's experience. Tho sometimes I wonder what planet these success stories come from myself...[/QUOTE]

 

[Vanillaphant]

So should we have a cap limit on threads? Is that your implication?

Certainly not.

 

[Oddjob0226]

Honestly, I think the questions raised just indicate the larger, uncomfortable, thrilling "dance" than men and women have been doing around one another, and within ourselves as moral individuals, for centuries.

 

[duderino84]

Honestly, I think the questions raised just indicate the larger, uncomfortable, thrilling "dance" than men and women have been doing around one another, and within ourselves as moral individuals, for centuries.

Yes, until the lizard people arrived....

 

[C.A.B.]

Yes, until the lizard people arrived....

fuckin' Sleestaks... they're everywhere. That's why I pack a wrist-rocket and a bag of marbles at all times.

 

[duderino84]

Just don't eat Chaka...

 

[Oddjob0226]

Just don't eat Chaka...