Tickling in Relationships

[GuardedAngel]

I'm sure this has been discussed before, but I'm curious. I know you can't help whom, you fall in love with, and that lust and love are different and all that, but does anyone have any stories about their experiences with their romantic partners and their tickle kinks? I know it's hard to admit any kind of kink to someone close to you, but TK especially isn't as main stream as others, and I know it's hard to reveal it to someone knowing they might get weirded out by it, since to non-Tkers it is in my experience weird. But I am curious, in your experience, does it affect your relationship? Do you end up settling without it in necessarily being a part of your real life activities? Or have you been lucky enough to find someone who shares your passion or accepts it/tries it because they know you like it? If I had my own experience with a romantic partner, I would share it, but I don't. I have very good friends who I've told who don't mind, because they might have other kinks themselves and it's just one of those things, but I have lots of people in my life I would never admit it to because it would most likely make things uncomfortable. And in a relationship, I mean when it is a good time to share that kinda thing?

This is a personal question, so you don't have to answer or add anything if you don't want to, I'm just curious. 🙂 Thank you in advance fellow TKers.

 

[TKLVR181]

I was incredibly lucky to find the man I fell I love with right here at TT. Yes our relationship started out with online tickle rp s and the like, but we became fast friends, and more, even before we met irl.

As for tickling in the relationship, a lot of kinks even each other out (I.e I'm a more playful sub and serious top and he's vice versa). Plus I get lots of quick, playful tickles :$ ^______^

~K

 

[GuardedAngel]

I was incredibly lucky to find the man I fell I love with right here at TT. Yes our relationship started out with online tickle rp s and the like, but we became fast friends, and more, even before we met irl.

As for tickling in the relationship, a lot of kinks even each other out (I.e I'm a more playful sub and serious top and he's vice versa). Plus I get lots of quick, playful tickles :$ ^______^

~K

Aww that is so sweet, and very very true about the kinks. 🙂 And that definitely does give me hope. Thank you so much for sharing!

 

[dalekfire]

My fiancé Jenna and I are a good example of a couple in which one person has the fetish (me) and the other doesn't (her).

When we first met and started chatting a lot, I noticed she took a very positive view toward the general idea of tickling, as she's engaged in a lot of that stuff with her brother and some friends as a kid, and it's just a very fun experience for her. We even roleplayed a lot with tickling being close to the focus, before she knew about my fetish, so that was interesting! And oh man, when I met her the first time and actually got to tickle her, I discovered that I befriended one of the most naturally ticklish people on the planet! But I digress. x3

It was about a year into our relationship and two years total of knowing each other before I told her that tickling was a legit fetish of mine. Up until that point, I didn't find it a necessary piece of info to disclose (indeed, I'd have been perfectly happy to develop a relationship with her without tickling being a big part of it), but then I figured that it would only be fair to her if I were completely honest about that sort of thing, so I told her over the phone...the event being very humorous due to my constant attempts to deflect my own initiated topic, but curiosity gripped her and she persisted to pry it out of me, damn that girl. :wub Anyway, I told her, and she reacted in the best possible way for a scenario given a significant other who doesn't share the fetish - she said she adored it and was more than happy to indulge me in the future. ^_^ Come to find out, she had suspicion that tickling was a major thing for me in some way, considering all the times I brought it up, lol.

Ironically, telling her was a really good idea, as it encouraged her to reveal her fetish and extreme love for bondage (which I also have), in addition to some interests for BDSM. Now that we're living together, we've been having considerably more "tickle-fights" than any vanilla couple would have, even though it's not sexually arousing for her at all - the only way being if bondage was involved, which is a big yay regardless, hehe. I wouldn't (or couldn't) say yet if it's applicable to what would be our sex life, as we're practicing absitnence, and so haven't gotten to that point yet. But considering the fun we've had in the last seven years (most of it long-distance, but meh), I can confidently claim that tickling is excellent in our relationship regardless of the sexual outcome. Still, cannot wait until we try it during the uhm...large fleet engagements. (pew-pew-pew! 😉 )

Point is, if you consider it an important part of the relationship, then tell him/her when you're comfortable enough to explain it thoroughly. If it's not so important, then it doesn't really matter, as long as love is there! But as always, perhaps the one most important thing to have in a working relationship is trust, and the second-most is communication.

Now, thanks to this topic, somebody is getting attacked tonight!

 

[tickle_fan031]

My fiancé Jenna and I are a good example of a couple in which one person has the fetish (me) and the other doesn't (her).

When we first met and started chatting a lot, I noticed she took a very positive view toward the general idea of tickling, as she's engaged in a lot of that stuff with her brother and some friends as a kid, and it's just a very fun experience for her. We even roleplayed a lot with tickling being close to the focus, before she knew about my fetish, so that was interesting! And oh man, when I met her the first time and actually got to tickle her, I discovered that I befriended one of the most naturally ticklish people on the planet! But I digress. x3

It was about a year into our relationship and two years total of knowing each other before I told her that tickling was a legit fetish of mine. Up until that point, I didn't find it a necessary piece of info to disclose (indeed, I'd have been perfectly happy to develop a relationship with her without tickling being a big part of it), but then I figured that it would only be fair to her if I were completely honest about that sort of thing, so I told her over the phone...the event being very humorous due to my constant attempts to deflect my own initiated topic, but curiosity gripped her and she persisted to pry it out of me, damn that girl. :wub Anyway, I told her, and she reacted in the best possible way for a scenario given a significant other who doesn't share the fetish - she said she adored it and was more than happy to indulge me in the future. ^_^ Come to find out, she had suspicion that tickling was a major thing for me in some way, considering all the times I brought it up, lol.

Ironically, telling her was a really good idea, as it encouraged her to reveal her fetish and extreme love for bondage (which I also have), in addition to some interests for BDSM. Now that we're living together, we've been having considerably more "tickle-fights" than any vanilla couple would have, even though it's not sexually arousing for her at all - the only way being if bondage was involved, which is a big yay regardless, hehe. I wouldn't (or couldn't) say yet if it's applicable to what would be our sex life, as we're practicing absitnence, and so haven't gotten to that point yet. But considering the fun we've had in the last seven years (most of it long-distance, but meh), I can confidently claim that tickling is excellent in our relationship regardless of the sexual outcome. Still, cannot wait until we try it during the uhm...large fleet engagements. (pew-pew-pew! 😉 )

Point is, if you consider it an important part of the relationship, then tell him/her when you're comfortable enough to explain it thoroughly. If it's not so important, then it doesn't really matter, as long as love is there! But as always, perhaps the one most important thing to have in a working relationship is trust, and the second-most is communication.

Now, thanks to this topic, somebody is getting attacked tonight!

Aw that's such a cute story. So happy it has worked out for you:coolthumbup

I've not had many relationships but my dream scenario would be like Karen and Dalek. Would be fantastic to be in a relationship with someone who loves tickling just as much as you do. However if I do meet and enter into a relationship with a guy that I've not met from the obvious tickle fetish places then I'd wait a while before revealing too much. I think if it was looking like the relationship was going in the right direction then I'd want to open up. Tickling isn't sexual for me so if he didn't feel comfortable with the whole bondage tickling then I'd at least hope I could get random playful quick tickles.
The love for a guy comes first so if I feel he is the one and it's only the tickling aspect that's the downside then I'd live with that. A past experience with a friend taught me that...years ago when i was in college my best mate used to tickle me loads. She used to tease me about my reactions and was a great ler.i knew she wasn't into it she just liked messing around/teasing people. So I ended up telling her that I like to be tickled and asked if she could tickle me more. She was brilliant. Couldn't have asked for a better reaction really and sure enough she did tickle me more.This went on for a few years and it was great. Then a few years ago when I'd had a dry tickling spell from her I asked her again (via text message)if she'd tickle me again but she confessed it made her feel awkward so she'd rather not. I was absolutely gutted but think above all felt guilty as I didn't want her to feel like that. I accepted it even though I was upset that she wasn't going to tickle me anymore but her friendship meant far more to me than tickling did so I put her friendship first. So this is how I imagine it to be in a relationship if I care about him that much I'd tell him but if he's not 100% into it it wouldn't be a deal breaker.

 

[chicag0]

There was a similar thread recently over at TMF. I'll repost a bit of what I wrote there:

I dont believe in fate, destiny, or the idea of soul mates. There are almost 7 billion people in the world, but finding someone you truly click with, on more than just a superficial level, takes work. The perfect woman is not going to fall into your lap out of the sky. A healthy relationship does not develop overnight. Rejection is an inevitable part of life, but you can't be afraid to take risks or get hurt because you probably won't get what you want out of life if you are.

I never had a problem finding guys to date, but inexperience and low self esteem lead me to believe that I was lucky that any asshole would pay me attention, so I settled for a lot of guys that treated me less than what I deserved. When I was younger, I was afraid of losing boyfriends over the dumbest things, thinking I'd never find someone as wonderful (totally blind to the fact that most were possessive, controlling, and emotionally manipulative) so I was not very open about the tickling thing, let alone my involvement here. Over time, I stopped worrying about how being into tickling sounded. I became more open about it. I would tell guys after a few dates, so that if they weren't into it, I could stop wasting either of our time and move on before feelings were involved. The more I was open about it, the easier it was to bring up, and the less ashamed I became. Being ashamed of who you are leads to repression which leads to obsession and then more shame and it's a vicious cycle that can end up making a person explode, or at the very least be really unsatisfied with their life.

After working on myself, both mentally and physically - figuring out what I wanted in life, building my confidence, etc - I realized that the whole point of living is to be happy, but that too takes work. It's completely worth it, though, versus just going through the motions every day. There's nothing that says you cant have it all, love and tickling and happiness. In my case, vanilla dudes were not doing it for me, so I became more active in the community, going to gatherings, chatting more. Long story short, I found someone I really love and !BONUS! I didnt have to explain, or worry about the reaction to, this tickling interest of ours, because he's a member too, so he totally gets it. Yeah, we had to do the long distance thing for a year, flying back and forth every month to see each other, and eventually I had to move 2000 miles to be with him, but you know what?

I'm happier than I've ever been (not just because I found someone into tickling, but because I fought and worked to make happiness a part of my life overall)

And it was totally worth it. Because nothing worth having comes easy. 🙂

 

[Deadly Ticklish1]

There was a similar thread recently over at TMF. I'll repost a bit of what I wrote there:

That was beautiful.

 

[Deadly Ticklish1]

While I don't have quite the glorious stories as some of the people who've already posted, I will try to contribute what little I can to the topic, because I definitely feel like it's something that we all kinda think about at one time or another. While I've never come out to someone about tickling as a fetish, I have actually built relationship on tickling, nothing to serious, but closer bonds with a few girls. I think it started in middle school, to be honest the whole tickling thing started for me in middle school. I'd started playfully tickling a few girl in some of my classes and eventually through my, I guess: assertive actions, I'd built closer relationships as friends or possible love interests. The first girl I ever "dated" was actually over the Internet, which was on the opposite side of things, considering this girl already knew I had a thing for tickling and actually thought it was sexy, this wasn't through here BTW. Things were good at first but I still had a lot of personal growth to do before I could be ready for a relationship or ready to love. At this point in my life I was to analytical about everything, and I was never sure if I loved her or not, but she knew this and it hurt her to know that she loved me in a way that I couldn't clearly express back to her. The other problem was that it almost seemed like the entire relationship was sexual in nature, and while we'd talked over the phone a few times for a real conversation, she had a lot of deep personal issues, and tended to push me away and get to embarrassed to even call me. I can say now that I loved the girl I talked to on the phone, the non-tickling/sexual conversations were actually the best, but that personal connection being so often absent kinda ruined it, which is why I couldn't completely say that I loved her. So what i came to find out was that tickling+nice body+sensual activity+same age+same interests stil doesn't = good relationship. I would still like to meet her in person someday but she's done well for herself and has found someone else so it's unlikely that this will ever happen, but I'm very happy for her. Then there was the first girl I had ever felt I could honestly say, "I Love You," to. This relationship actually started with me tickling her constantly and her retaliating. It was fun but we became much closer, and now that we've gotten do close a lot has gotten complicated between us but we still have strong feelings for each other and still hang out and have little tickle fights, but she doesn't know it's a fetish of mine.

 

[brotherted]

No big talk

I've never liked the idea of a big, dramatic talk about it. Seems to me that only offers downside.

Instead, I'll just tickle a girl a little & see how she reacts. If it's either positively, or at least ticklishly but not negatively, I'll keep doing & gradually more often, as if it's something we're discovering it together. This way, it feels more like "our" kink rather than my kink. On the other hand, if a girl finds it weird or uncomfortable (ever heard "I HATE to be tickled"?), I have the option of passing it off as just a fun little moment.

Is there any reason a big talk is better than this?

 

[Deadly Ticklish1]

I've never liked the idea of a big, dramatic talk about it. Seems to me that only offers downside.

Instead, I'll just tickle a girl a little & see how she reacts. If it's either positively, or at least ticklishly but not negatively, I'll keep doing & gradually more often, as if it's something we're discovering it together. This way, it feels more like "our" kink rather than my kink. On the other hand, if a girl finds it weird or uncomfortable (ever heard "I HATE to be tickled"?), I have the option of passing it off as just a fun little moment.

Is there any reason a big talk is better than this?

Well I actually like your method to be honest, but I don't necessarily think if you were to talk about it would need to be a big talk. I wouldn't be dramatic about if I were to mention it cause then it seems like a problem, but to answer your question, for one it allows you to be completely open and honest with your partner, and secondly it allows them to treat your kink as such rather than just a playful activity, so that one day you come home and she has straps and feather waiting on the bed.

 

[TKLVR181]

I've never liked the idea of a big, dramatic talk about it. Seems to me that only offers downside.

Instead, I'll just tickle a girl a little & see how she reacts. If it's either positively, or at least ticklishly but not negatively, I'll keep doing & gradually more often, as if it's something we're discovering it together. This way, it feels more like "our" kink rather than my kink. On the other hand, if a girl finds it weird or uncomfortable (ever heard "I HATE to be tickled"?), I have the option of passing it off as just a fun little moment.

Is there any reason a big talk is better than this?

Honesty.

I mean, I agree that just checking to see her reaction first is a good idea-I just think an important part of any relationship is honesty. If she's ok with it, you should let her know its something of a turn-on--imagine building a relationship on a lie like "I wasn't into this before".

All this is totally MY OPINION, and I'm well aware of that. I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life here 😛

~K

 

[CellarDweller]

My last 'serious' relationship/ex was very ticklish, and I told him about my kink early on, as I knew that I would be trying to tickle him.

He didn't share my kink, but as long as I respected his boundaries, he was fine with being my 'lee.

He tended to be very playful or 'sweet' about it. He would egg on an attack by making funny comments or teasing me. He would run off and I give chase. He later told me that a few times he let me catch him.

One of the 'sweet' times, I had a rough day at work, and was tired and cranky, but trying very hard not to take it out on him. He was sitting next to me on the couch, and he moved away, took off his sneakers and socks, put his bare feet in my lap and told me to 'have fun'.

He took it as long as he could, and I turned him into a big, laughing mess.

We're no longer together, but still friends. Tickling did not lead to the break-up.