Thanks for the clarifications so far. They lead me to ask a follow-on question that maybe is related to the original one:
If people don't already know each other well before a gathering like NEST, do they really need to be the "tickling is a light and friendly bonding thing" types to fit in successfully? This is so different from me, not just with tickling but with sex and the emotional side of life generally. I'm starting to wonder if my more intense attitude to tickling is more uncommon than I thought. I don't mean humourless or heavy (I hope), but - profound and powerful and intimate, certainly.
I couldn't presume to speak for someone else, or how they would experience a particular situation, but I can tell you about mine, and it may shed some light. Or not lol.
Years ago before my first NEST, there was a community of folk in California who would meet up and at times have play parties. Not always, sometimes there would just be social gatherings or "munches". In any event, when I made contact with a regular attendee (a woman at that), who was more than welcoming and inviting me, you can imagine I was flush with a mixture of excitement AND semi-horror. As she described the most recent tickle scene, I couldn't help but imagine myself having a turn at this tied-up ticklish woman. I also couldn't fathom how I could allow myself to be in that situation, because it would be thoroughly erotic! I'm gonna pop wood in a room full of strangers! How could I not? It was the single most erotic thing I could think of at that time.
Eventually, a play party date is set. And I'm going to be in attendance. Despite my trepidation, I can't NOT go! I should mention that I've always been a private and 1 on 1 type of person, so this play party is not only out of my tickle play lane, but also a bit out of my social lane as well. The party convenes, starting out with a meal and some conversation. Next, the play begins. When the lady is tied spread-eagle to the bed, I'm invited to a spot and my hands begin to tickle. And a strange thing happened: there was zero sexual energy. Zero! So what happened? Well it wasn't completely clear at the time, but after a few more parties where the exact same thing occurred, it started to become a bit more clear to me. Up until that point, I had never tickled a woman I wasn't flirting with or sharing some other kind of intimate moment. In my mind "tickling girls" = "sexual turn on". There was no separation of the two, also, all of my tickling fantasies were of a sexual nature.
I had never been exposed to tickling in an atmosphere which wasn't "sexual", which I know sounds funny because tickling is sexual right? Well I found something out about myself. My preference is still private 1 on 1, but what I discovered, is for me, the sexual feelings are not dictated by tickling itself, but rather the individual. Conversely, since I'm much more of a private person, the group setting automatically makes arousal a virtual impossibility regardless of whom I'm playing with. So all of that was to say, that when it comes to NEST (or any group/large group setting) it was not a problem for me to play in that setting. The play has ranged from light/playful to more intense. Usually with women I've known prior to the event, but not always. The real secret to NEST and any other place - it's more about the connection(s) you make with the people. The play comes, but even then it only reinforces and strengthens those connections which have already been made. It's a bit hard to explain - though practically all NESTers know what I'm referencing - but it's just how it works itself out.
Certainly though, your attitude towards tickling isn't unique or uncommon at all.