Jagermeistered
Level of Tangerine Feather
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2007
- Messages
- 11,864
- Points
- 38
I meant compatability.
-
If you would like to get your account Verified, read this thread -
The TMF is sponsored by Clips4sale - By supporting them, you're supporting us. -
>>> If you cannot get into your account email me at [email protected] <<<
Don't forget to include your username
Tickling or ur marriage?
- Thread starter TickleNinja98
- Start date
Lack of intimacy is one thing, doing ANYTHING for a man in the bedroom is another. Unless she's the total nymph (and nothing wrong with that btw) she's going to have some boundaries. If she's willing to let you disrespect those boundaries in order for you to stay with you, why even bother when you can get your freak on with someone more sexually compatible for you? I wish a man would tell me that if I don't give him everything he wants in the bedroom he won't stay. I'd gladly show him the door because I'm not a free ho, thank you very much.
And sex is not the only thing anyone should consider in a relationship; that's the worst thing to make a priority. I'd rather have a man and deal with average sex than a man who can swing the chandeliers in the bedroom and be otherwise worthless to me. Because you can always improve sexual performance and experience, but it is very hard to transplant a personality.
In other words, if a woman has to submit to any and everything in the bedroom in order to please a man, maybe she's with the wrong man.
And yes, gentlemen, it works the same way in reverse.
Radiohead 7140
1st Level Red Feather
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2007
- Messages
- 1,151
- Points
- 38
jets are gonna wreck the pats on monday. mark it.
Laugh out loud. I'm no longer allowed to use "LOL".
Ok. I never said do "ANYTHING" for your man in the bedroom. It's not even a gender related argument. Everyone has their boundaries. What I’m saying is that the distance to which someone will surpass those boundaries is directly related to how much they're into that person. Example: As a kid the thought of oral sex disgusted me. But as a young man in love I realized the pleasure I could give my woman was more important than my comfort zone so I relented. I didn't like the previous women enough to do it for them.....despite liking them.
When it comes to a committed relationship it is best in my opinion to deny one's partner very little when it comes to sex. Why only sex you ask? I'm glad you asked! If I deny my girl company to go to the spa with her, she can find someone else and not cheat. If my girl won't go to the ball game with me ...no biggie...I’ll go with someone else and still be faithful. If my girl says no tickling....I’m in a bind. I can't tickle another girl without me being unfaithful. If I tell my girl I won't give her oral pleasure....she's in a bind. It's something she loves but she can't get it without breaking our bond. Of course we can both go without, but at the expense of our quality of life. We must then evaluate how much we care for one another to cross these boundaries....or simply marginalize the joy that those sexual acts bring in. But sadly temptation always creeps in and hearts are broken. If you're really into someone you should do everything you can to keep them…especially in the bedroom....or risk losing them. At least the guy you mentioned that said "if you don't give me everything I want I’ll leave" has the foresight to know what makes him happy. Most men/women will stay in the relationship miserable or worse, look outside of the relationship and cheat. At least that guy would leave you with your confidence intact and he’ll leave with his integrity intact.
Sex is not the only thing to consider in a relationship....but without sex you're just really good friends. You can tell your deepest secrets and share the greatest joys with other people....but sex in a committed relationship is reserved for only one person. Those in successful relationships don't forget that. There are numerous things that keep a relationship together, but for most….especially in my age group 20’s-30’s(40’s and up may have different priorities but are still human with needs) not having the sexual aspect of the relationship in check invites a HOST of problems. This is especially true for individuals that have many options when it comes to sexual partners.
GQ
asutickler
1st Level Green Feather
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2001
- Messages
- 4,110
- Points
- 38
If I somehow ended up married to this person (or even married in general, for that matter) then I must have been either drugged or incredibly drunk during the ceremony. I'd call my lawyer and shoot for an annulment ASAP.
Sex is NOT the only aspect of a relationship; yes, it's very important, but should not be the first consideration on the table. When two people are truly committed, the sexual aspects take care of themselves IMO. I've been with men where the sex started out okay/average but with time was awesome. That is because you get to know each other better as well as each other's bodies. If you truly love each other, you will find ways that'll please each other in bed to make you both happy, not making it conditional in the relationship. I believe the more pressure you put on a relationship, the better chance it has to bite you in the butt later on.
If a man tells me that if I don't do what I need to please him in the bedroom, he'll find someone else, we have a really big problem that I'm not willing to put myself through. Relationships are about compromise so if one is in a truly loving committed relationship (not just sleeping around) then it's time to grow up and realize that it's about sharing and giving, not demanding and possibly stressing your partner out. Personally I believe that the man sets the tone in the bedroom; so if he's not getting it like he wants it he needs to get in the mirror and figure it out himself instead of dumping on his partner. I also believe that a man who is truly skilled in the bedroom won't get a lot of pushback from his partner when it's time to try new things.
Oh, and you'll be in your 40s soon enough; sex is a very important factor there too. To be exact, sex took on a completely different meaning after I turned 40........it's been the best I've ever had! I have more confidence in myself and know what I like and dislike in the bedroom and even though I've tried lots of new things, I won't try any and every thing.
This all or nothing situation is not very likely to happen. IF I were in such a situation, where my wife allowed me to tickle her for however many years of our marriage, and then suddenly came to me, and said "You can never tickle me again", my first reaction would be something like ""What did I do to bring this on?" In my mind, it's likely that if she married me knowing I had this fetish, and accepted it then, it wouldn't suddenly turn into an "All or nothing at all" situation.
I would first try to arrive at a compromise, saying something like "Maybe we can tone down the tickling, and I'll only do it... once or twice a week, instead of.. three or four times" Or.. I would try to limit it to special occasions, my birthday, etc.
Of course, there is much more to a marriage then tickling. I've said many times that I would rather be married to a person whom I had all the compatabilities with, who is only a little ticklish, then someone who I had less in common with, who is the most hysterically ticklish girl in the world. My philsophy is, and I know its the old saying: "Good sex or tickling is great, but you have to have the compatabilities with the person the other 23 hrs and 45 minutes of the day".
Once again, all this is hypothetical. I highly doubt such a scenario would be likely to happen.
Mitch
I would first try to arrive at a compromise, saying something like "Maybe we can tone down the tickling, and I'll only do it... once or twice a week, instead of.. three or four times" Or.. I would try to limit it to special occasions, my birthday, etc.
Of course, there is much more to a marriage then tickling. I've said many times that I would rather be married to a person whom I had all the compatabilities with, who is only a little ticklish, then someone who I had less in common with, who is the most hysterically ticklish girl in the world. My philsophy is, and I know its the old saying: "Good sex or tickling is great, but you have to have the compatabilities with the person the other 23 hrs and 45 minutes of the day".
Once again, all this is hypothetical. I highly doubt such a scenario would be likely to happen.
Mitch
chaz36
Registered User
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2005
- Messages
- 41
- Points
- 0
Wouldn't know until I had to deal with it! I think anyone would have to evaluate what was at stake in the marriage. Children would probably be the number 1 determining factor, that is if you had any. If you did not, then the situation would be much less complex. In other words, how many peoples lives would be affected positive or negatively in a decision to stay or go? That is probably the ultimate determining factor. As hard and repetitive as this sounds, life is not always fair, there will always be winners and losers!
It happens by going out to eat a lot and not exercising. When she gave up on trying to lose weight, I gave up too and got huge. Took me three years after breaking up with her to get back down to being thin.
"Truly committed" "Truly love". What do these things mean? What are their definitions? The reality is that they vary for each individual. Committed to one person may be getting married. Committed to another person might be getting married and staying fit for their spouse and taking care of their sexual needs. There are no doubt ALOT of men out there that are married and don't get the sex they need. There are ALOT of women out there that don't get the sex they need. By being with a partner that gives you the sex they need infidelity won't sneak into the bond. People are better able to overlook certain things when the sex is great. I bet there are ALOT of people on this forum alone that would step out on their significant other to tickle/be tickled by someone that indulged their tickle fetish. That's a bad place to be. Can the tickle fetishist help that that's what they like? Can they resist temptation? Yes. But after awhile one becomes bitter. Especially when temptation keeps coming by. The sexual aspect doesn't just take care of itself. It takes purposeful work on the part of both people. I do my best to give my girl the sex that she needs and deserves. I put her pleasure first. She also does the same. She doesn't like tickling but she tries with me. I'm happy at home. The truth is one will likely be happier with the man/woman that goes the extra mile in the bedroom than the one that won't. Or at least that individual will always wonder about greener grass on the other side.
You're right about a skilled lover getting what he wants in the bedroom. I rarely get any push back and the many women I’ve been with have been more than happy to fulfill any fantasy I requested. I can only think of a couple that wouldn't get into it and for them I simply said "guess they're not that into me" which was the initial premise of my first post. If she/he won't go that extra mile in the bedroom odds are they're just not that into you. Or there is something wrong in the relationship.
I never said anything about "demanding" sex....Lol. But I must be impressed. That's part of the deal. Some guys take whatever they can get....but some guys get to pick and choose and always have options. I don't have to demand because what one woman won't do many will and the women I date realize that. This is part of chemistry that leads to a commitment. I won't commit to a woman that I find is lacking in the bedroom. It's a disservice to both of us. I doubt the women I date, with their many options would commit to me if I wouldn't/couldn't give them what they wanted in the bedroom. I also get that (and am reminded when we go out) many guys would kill to give whatever my girl wants in the bedroom...so I need to stay on top of my game while I’m with her. That's just a part of my definition of truly committed and true love.
GQ
Usually`Bubble
TMF Poster
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2010
- Messages
- 84
- Points
- 0
I'm not married, but if I were and my figuratively speaking husband said that to me I believe I would choose my marriage.
My boyfriend is my best friend, I share everything with him. Say that this boyfriend of four years turned around and said that there would be no tickling in our relationship from now on, I reckon it could be a deal breaker.
However, if I loved someone enough to promise to be with them forever and ever, I could live without sex... Without sex we'd just be really good friends? Is that not what a husband and wife should be anyway? What if there was a tragic accident and for whatever reason your husband/wife was unable to have sex, or worse, lost both arms and were unable to tickle you, would you divorce them then?
But I think there is also a big difference between no tickling in a relationship, and no tickling in a marriage.
My boyfriend is my best friend, I share everything with him. Say that this boyfriend of four years turned around and said that there would be no tickling in our relationship from now on, I reckon it could be a deal breaker.
However, if I loved someone enough to promise to be with them forever and ever, I could live without sex... Without sex we'd just be really good friends? Is that not what a husband and wife should be anyway? What if there was a tragic accident and for whatever reason your husband/wife was unable to have sex, or worse, lost both arms and were unable to tickle you, would you divorce them then?
But I think there is also a big difference between no tickling in a relationship, and no tickling in a marriage.
