Tickling strangers WITHOUT permission....WTF?

[itsjustaride]

Wait... there was actually a debate as to whether this sort of thing is ok???? That's terrible to hear.

I know! How could you think this sort of thing is OK? Would you be OK with somebody doing that to YOU? Especially if they were the opposite of the kind of person you'd want to be touched by?

 

[Mitchell]

Very sorry to hear this happened to you, Blue Soda. The fact is.. the guy did it intentionally. It wasn't like it was anything accidental. It is assault/battery/another form of sexual unwanted touching etc, and he should be arrested. I've never done that to anyone in my life.

 

[Oddjob0226]

In Texas unwanted touching would be simple assault unless the legal definition changed when I wasn't looking.

 

[helplessandhappy]

I once had a guy come up behind me on the dance floor and stick his finger into my butt crack (I was wearing low pants so they stopped right above my butt and he actually stuck his finger INTO my pants). I jerked away and turned around and he was just grinning at me in the sleaziest way. He knew what he'd just done was creepy as shit, but he didn't care--he already did it and there was nothing I could do at that point. I would have had him thrown out, but this was right in the middle of one of my favorite songs at a concert I'd been waiting ages for, so I didn't want to stop dancing and find security. I moved away from him and by the time the song ended, he was nowhere to be seen.

I feel like this incident is similar. It's not horrible because being tickled or touched for 1 second is damaging. The damaging part is knowing they got sexual gratification by taking something from you against your will. It's a horrible feeling and all I can say is karma will get these nasty little fuckers one day.

 

[Mitchell]

Some of us have had instances where we are guilty of attempting to discuss or start fetish activity with people who we maybe shouldn't.. if not complete strangers. Case in point..

When I was in my late teens/early 20s, before I realized tickling was a fetish for me.. when I just knew I had a foot fetish, I'm "Guilty" of asking my friend Adam;s sister, my ex best friend';s sister, my high school guidance counselor, and my former best friends now ex gf.. to massage/tickle/smell/play with their feet. All the women said no, of course. I know now that what I did was wrong.. but.. I was consumed by the moment. My friend Adam is guilty of this with his fetish.. too,. the tongue/raspberry, as he told me years ago, he used to ask female co workers to stick their tongues out/raspberry him. This is something I've never done with my fetish, with any co worker.

Unadvisable, yes, but.. the women I asked.. were women I had known for many years, who weren't complete strangers to me. I would never do such activity now, as I realize such wouldn't be right, but.. as for what happened to Blue Soda, that's something I've never done, and never would do.

 

[helplessandhappy]

Being asked those things would indeed be creepy, but at least you ASKED. You made them uncomfortable, which was maybe a mistake, but that's an entirely different realm from violating someone.

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

I manage a coffee shop/bakery that often gets really crowded. Last night, I was erasing a chalk board on the wall, you know the kind many restaurants and coffee shops use to display their menu specials? Right, so I'm erasing the chalk board with my back to the rest of the store, and I'm having to reach up kind of high. I guess I was in a vulnerable position because some creep thought it would be appropriate to come tickle my sides. I'm not joking. I felt, what was clearly two fingers tickling each of my sides, it wasn't incidental contact. When I turned around to see who it was, I saw a man quickly making his way to the door and out onto the street, his action clearly unnoticed by other customers in the shop.

Seriously, how does someone think this is acceptable? Some people might not consider this to be a big deal but I feel a bit violated. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

It's happened to me plenty. Particularly when I was younger. In bars, at the beach, and especially in the video arcades back in the 1980s. I remember walking up to one game that was vacant, and there were two quarters laying on the console. I left them there, and plugged in my own quarters and started playing. As I was getting into the game these two girls came up and said I was playing "their game," and demanded I quit playing. I told them I intended to finish my game, and there was nothing they could do to stop me. Long story short, they proved me wrong. Within half a minute they made me lose the rest of my plays. I was a good sport about it, and let them off the hook with a poke in the side for each of them.

My opinion is that it is a lot more weird and crazy to ask a complete stranger for permission to tickle, then to simply tickle without permission.

Hi, excuse me. I was wondering if it would be okay for me to tickle you? You know, just a little wiggle of my finger in your armpit for a few seconds? Would that be okay?

Seriously, I don't know anybody outside this forum who asks for permission to tickle somebody. To most of the world, tickling is something that is done spontaneously. Asking for permission ruins the moment.

 

[Mitchell]

that's true, helpless.

DAJT, in my case.. the women I asked weren't complete strangers. I do see your point about most outside this forum not asking for permission to tickle someone, and it happening spontaneously. I don't exactly remember how the question about my playing with the womens feet was worded. I think it was more something like.. doing foot fetish activity to them, with tickling involved. I didn't "Ask" to tickle them, but it was also a long time ago.. so I don't remember.

 

[helplessandhappy]

Tickling only happens spontaneously when two people are in a loving relationship or friendship, and both parties are comfortable touching each other. Of course it's weird and crazy to ask a stranger if they want to get tickled--99 percent of the population of the world wouldn't want to tickle someone they didn't know. The whole point is that it's a loving, intimate way of playing with someone you like. Getting off on doing it to complete strangers is an entirely different fetish.

Also, the situation DAJT mentioned is a bit different. The girls might have been strangers, but you interacted with them in a playful way which led to you touching each other. That's very different than just running up behind someone and then creepily running off after.

 

[LargerWorld2577]

The girls might have been strangers, but you interacted with them in a playful way which led to you touching each other. That's very different than just running up behind someone and then creepily running off after.

Not to mention that the situation the OP described was at her workplace, one of the last places at which someone is expecting to have someone sneak up on them and touch them. She was there doing her job, not looking to have that happen. That's like walking into an office building and entering random cubicles and touching people you don't know while they're trying to work, and then running off. That's not normal behavior, but feel free to live outside the social norms, just be prepared to face the consequences.

 

[Mitchell]

LargerWorld is right.

Something else..

In pre puberty.. the last woman my parents made me "Stay with" around age 12, before allowing me to stay in our big house alone.

She was a bit older.,. 40s/50s.

I've posted on here about my fantasies since puberty about women getting it from tickling/toe sucking bandits.

This woman for whatever reason, refused to let me play with her feet while she was barefoot, claiming she had foot surgery, and didn't want her feet touched.

At that point.. is when I began to realize about "the domination bandit fantasy", and came up with a game where I was the domination bandit, and she was the victim, and would make her face the wall with her hands up, while I frisked her. I wasn't looking to sexually harass her, or "Cop a feel:", etc, more just looking for an alternative game to play with her, because she, unlike the other sitters I';d had up to that point, refused to let me play with her feet.

This was also in the 1980s. In that time period.. "Sexual harassment" wasn't the big issue that it was today. If one asked to do something to a woman, the woman would merely say no, and unless you unwisely persued it, which I never did after the first no, the issue was dropped, end of story, unlike today where one could get a sexual harassment compliant to the cops for just the first unwise advancement.

As I said earlier in this thread. the only type of woman I would tickle now.. even without "permission" would be a very close female friend, or actual gf/significant other. Besides that.. it isn't worth the risk.

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

Tickling only happens spontaneously when two people are in a loving relationship or friendship, and both parties are comfortable touching each other.

LOL. Come on, H². That's not even close to being true. Spontaneity has nothing to do with a pre-existing relationship. It just means it was done on the spur of the moment. The lucky guy who tickled Blue Soda very likely saw an opportunity and spontaneously decided to take advantage of it. The girls who tickled me definitely did so spontaneously.

Of course it's weird and crazy to ask a stranger if they want to get tickled--99 percent of the population of the world wouldn't want to tickle someone they didn't know.

But the OP objected to the fact that she was tickled WITHOUT PERMISSION. Doesn't that at least suggest that she thinks he should have ASKED for permission first? Otherwise, why even mention "permission?"

And this is my point. You killjoys love to talk about how weird and creepy it is to tickle a stranger without permission. That's certainly the rule at fetish gatherings and for good reason, but you can't apply fetish gathering protocol to the REAL world. There, it's at least as creepy to ask someone for permission to tickle as it is to just go ahead and do it. More creepy, in my opinion. People in real life, outside of our little TMF bubble do not ask for permission to tickle.

Also, the situation DAJT mentioned is a bit different. The girls might have been strangers, but you interacted with them in a playful way which led to you touching each other. That's very different than just running up behind someone and then creepily running off after.

Other than the venue, how is it any different? The girls were strangers. They were in no way invited to touch me. We had no prior relationship. They saw that my hands were occupied leaving me vulnerable, and they spontaneously took advantage of an opportunity.

To suggest that's any more okay than the guy who tickled Blue Soda is quite frankly hypocritical.

Just sayin.

 

[helplessandhappy]

I didn't say it was okay. I said it was a bit different. I think it's extremely abnormal behavior either way. You seem to be one of the only humans alive to have had these sort of experiences, so I don't know what to tell you. I think you're probably making most of these stories up, but whatever. We had this discussion a few months ago and after many pages of debate, no one was able to convince you that you're wrong, so believe whatever you want.

 

[LargerWorld2577]

I think Dont has a point. The way he put it, the two incidents really are the same. The only difference was that he was okay with it and Blue Soda wasn't, which is why you should ask permission if you have regard for and care about how your actions affect other people. You don't know how someone will react unless you ask first, so by doing that, you give the person the chance to say no. Both the man in the bakery and the girls in the arcade should have asked permission.

 

[NY ler]

How is this situation http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?248503-Barefoot-women-in-the-workplace any different, other than that the OP knew the ticklee? They weren't in a relationship, nor did she ask to get tickled?

 

[mellon_collie]

Why is this being discussed? You just don't put your hands on people where consent hasn't been affirmatively expressed or very clearly implied, such as use of a handle like "DontAskJusTickle" 😉

That last bit was definitely a joke. I'm not at all insinuating that your username implies consent, but it's just interesting and seems relevant given the discussion 🙂

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

I didn't say it was okay. I said it was a bit different.

Right. Which is why I used the phrase "To SUGGEST that's any more okay" instead of "To SAY that's any more okay." You said it was "a bit different" after which you followed up with "very different." Most would interpret that to mean "not as bad," or even "not nearly as bad." So it's a little late to back-pedal here.

I think it's extremely abnormal behavior either way.

Then in what way is it "very different??"

You seem to be one of the only humans alive to have had these sort of experiences, so I don't know what to tell you.

On what do you base such a statement? Have you conducted planetary wide interviews? People get tickled by strangers. It happens. Your paranoid distaste for it has no effect on the frequency that it occurs in the real world.

I think you're probably making most of these stories up, but whatever.

I see. You're perfectly willing to accept Blue Soda's story of being tickled by a stranger, but not mine. I see how your are.

We had this discussion a few months ago and after many pages of debate, no one was able to convince you that you're wrong, so believe whatever you want.

I go with what my own experience has taught me, and I share that experience. I'm not going to be simply talked out of it based simply on your personal values.

 

[C.A.B.]

On one hand, being a touchy, groping, boorish Philistine is never good manners (personally, I loathe women that need to grab my hands or arm when they speak to me).

But on the other hand I fear we have become an overly sensitive society, whereas a playful quick tickle is cause for the National Guard and Local News to be called out. Ridiculous.

That said, everything is relevant. The one who engages in such practices must use high discretion and be politely engaging, but be prepared to be chastised for the gamble. As certainly the perception of the recipient is relevant. One might get two different reactions in the same situation if the egregious spontaneous tickler was an unwashed gamer-ogre than say, Brad Pitt.

The rules of flirtation have always been squirrelly. But if ones intention is not flirting, but with nefarious drool-jawed self-fanatsy fullfillment in mind. Be prepared for the consequences. Its all about consequences.

That quick tickle may land you in a cell with Rufus, who might want to inappropriately tickle you.

 

[magic fingers]

I'd like to bring up something that nobody's mentioned. There is a difference between a man being touched/tickled/groped by a female stranger and the same thing happening to a woman by a male stranger.
Woman are more sensitive and vulnerable to this because, well, they're women.
Most women especially attractive ones, constantly have to deal w/horny sometimes fairly aggressive, or "grabby"guys hitting on them all the time, and a lot of times they feel violated(depending on how and where they were touched). Add to this that women generally are smaller, and not as strong as men, and they feel that much more vulnerable.

An example - Years ago, I was at a bar, and some woman I never saw before grabbed my ass. It didn't bother me, in fact I was kind of flattered, and thought it was "cute"(of course I was drunk too). And if that woman had a full set of teeth I might've done something about it(I mean she was nasty). But I wasn't offended and I didn't feel violated.
Now if I had done the same thing to a female stranger(unless it was Spring Break or something), I would probably be spitting teeth.
Its a very understandable double standard

 

[LargerWorld2577]

I don't think being against tickling strangers without permission is "paranoid" but rather about simple respect for others' personal space, the right to not have your own personal space intruded upon, and the acknowledgment that doing so can indeed upset people, as was expressed by the OP. As far as a "playful quick tickle", it certainly wasn't playful for her. This is the first thread on this topic I've seen where the OP is on the receiving end and is expressing being upset by the incident. That should count for something as far as maybe reconsidering one's stance on this issue. To just disregard and/or trivialize how upsetting it was for the person just shows a lack of consideration for the feelings of others.

 

[SoleMates]

How is this situation http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthr...-the-workplace any different, other than that the OP knew the ticklee? They weren't in a relationship, nor did she ask to get tickled?

Uh, that's actually a rather HUGE difference.

This is the first thread on this topic I've seen where the OP is on the receiving end and is expressing being upset by the incident. That should count for something as far as maybe reconsidering one's stance on this issue.

Actually, whenever this topic comes up, a few women usually chime in to say that they don't like it, but they just get shouted down and eventually leave the thread.

 

[LargerWorld2577]

Actually, whenever this topic comes up, a few women usually chime in to say that they don't like it, but they just get shouted down and eventually leave the thread.

Right, exactly. But the fact that this time, the thread was started by someone on the receiving end carries even more weight, I think, in terms of showing that this behavior isn't the harmless, trivial thing that it's made out to be by those in favor of it. Usually, it's started by someone who wants to engage in it, the "moral police" come in and say it's wrong, and those in favor tell us we're pushing our opinion, generalizing, etc.. But you're right, don't forget about all the other people who subsequently post, as well, saying that they don't like it/have had it happened.

 

[Blue Soda]

My opinion is that it is a lot more weird and crazy to ask a complete stranger for permission to tickle, then to simply tickle without permission.

Tickling a stranger for any reason is just odd regardless of the motive. In your case, it sounds like playful flirting between kids and overall pretty harmless. But rather than judge every possible contengiency it's easier to say "hey, tickling an unsuspecting stranger at their place of work probably is not a great idea."

 

[coldneck]

I would have smashed the nearest heavy object over his head. Disgusting. ...Touching someone without their permission is not okay in any universe.

All these internet tough guys and badasschics.com totally crack me up!

What you say online and what you do in the real world are 2 very different things.

Firstly, no one goes to jail for tickling someone. They just don't. Ever.
Kidnapping? Breaking and entering then shoe-sniffing? Yes. But not tickling.
I would like all you jailhouse lawyers out there to show me concrete proof of one instance of someone going to jail for a quick, harmless tickle.
Hell, even a prolonged pin & rib tickle or a drawn-out buried-in-the-sand foot tickling.
It just doesn't happen. The cops, the courts and even the lawyers have far more important thing to focus on.
Pardon the pun, but Tickling is a joke of a crime. (wha wha wha whaaaaa).

Secondly, let's suspend reality and pretend you actually did "smash the nearest heavy object over his head".
The only one going to jail would be you. That has happened plenty. Now THAT, my legal eagles, would be considered assault and/or battery.

Thirdly, why all the anger? Tickling strangers is one of my favorite sports! I've done it too many times to count without a hint of negative reaction. Usually when they catch a glimpse of my ripped torso and rugged Marlboro Man good-looks, quite the opposite happens.
And it usually ends up with them screaming my name and buying me breakfast, if you know what I mean.

I guess I've come to expect this on here.
But all the negativity toward surprise tickling (on a tickling form, for Chrissake) still has me scratching my head.

I mean seriously, what kind of Rico Suave' douchnozzle asks ?!?
Just do it, baby!

 

[helplessandhappy]

show me concrete proof of one instance of someone going to jail for a quick, harmless tickle.

We had this entire discussion a while ago, and if you are lacking empathy to the point that you can't understand the HARM is that the person feels VIOLATED, then there really is no hope for you. Maybe if you or someone you love had ever been sexually assaulted, you could understand just how fucking triggering unwanted touch can be.

Seriously, fuck all of you who think this is okay. You're scum.