TMF dating vs. Convential dating

[Fire_Sprite]

Is it better to actively seek a partner on the TMF or get a regular girlfriend/boyfriend and try to get them into tickling?

If you look for a vanilla partner, you've got a much larger selection that's readily available in your neighborhood. But the Lifer vs. Convert thread made me wonder if a convert could ever truly enjoy it as much as those with the kink hardwired into our brains.

Thoughts?

 

[-Hari-]

I think its certainly better to get meet someone actually into it, but at the end of the day, the likelyhood of it is much smaller thanmeeting someone on the outside and hoping they can/will convert, I guess you remain open to both ideas and see what suits you as it happens.

 

[LD_Tickler]

"Is it better?" Is it better, how? It depends what your priorities are.

 

[Artoo]

Both have their good points.

I guess the *main* (not the sole!) reason why many people want to meet with other people from the boards is because they'd find it difficult to bring up their kinks with any potential vanilla partner. That's not the case with me - I'm fairly open about my fetish with certain people (read: people who I'm shagging) and most of them have been happy to indulge me - provided they get summat else in return.

I guess if you meet up with people from the forums, you already know they're into it, and so you can both get yourself off at the same time, with none of the, "Okay, I'll let you tickle me, but afterwards I get to slap you with a wet fish and call you Angela" tradeoffs.

 

[drewskee]

I guess if you meet up with people from the forums, you already know they're into it, and so you can both get yourself off at the same time, with none of the, "Okay, I'll let you tickle me, but afterwards I get to slap you with a wet fish and call you Angela" tradeoffs.

QFTW.

 

[venray]

Both have their good points.



I guess if you meet up with people from the forums, you already know they're into it, and so you can both get yourself off at the same time, with none of the, "Okay, I'll let you tickle me, but afterwards I get to slap you with a wet fish and call you Angela" tradeoffs.

You said you'd never tell..............


Better.....not necessarily......most relationships start with a common bond of some sort, but cannot be based soley on that one thing.....

Meeting a diverse group of potential dating partners is always the better way to go in my opinion....

 

[Em Es]

If I had to decide

I'd take the platonic tickle buddy on the side. Combine the divorce rate with couples who stay together because breaking up would be too expensive and there is your chance of having a lasting relationship, let alone one with somebody who likes or at least puts up with tickling.

A tickle buddy will satisfy your tickle needs without the complication of an entire relationship. No dancing and romancing required. The catch, of course, is you get turned on but don't top off the tickling with sex.

Between the ups and downs of both scenarios, I think the latter works better.

 

[Snail Shell]

Having a partner who's pre-kinked is always a plus, however, and this is just a personal view, I would never say that someone is my girlfriend unless I'd actually met her in person. I'm not saying dating over the internet never works, but with the number of weirdos online, you never know.

Snail Shell

 

[Sandrock74]

"Okay, I'll let you tickle me, but afterwards I get to slap you with a wet fish and call you Angela" tradeoffs.

This happened to you too?!?

 

[Artoo]

This happened to you too?!?

Nah, she just told me about the brief encounter you both had.
We had a good chuckle about it. 😉

 

[baldadonis]

Like with anything, it depends on the people. I had had various degrees of success in past relationships converting vanillas to my kink, but in my best relationship to date with someone from this forum. But I don't attribute that to the fact that we both have the same kink and are on this forum. It worked out because we happened to have similar values, similar senses of humors, our friends all get along, sexual chemistry, etc... It's fantastic that it worked out with someone that shares the same kink as me, but the fact that it worked at all is because the fundamentals for a good match were there.

 

[barefeetarebest]

I'd take the platonic tickle buddy on the side. Combine the divorce rate with couples who stay together because breaking up would be too expensive and there is your chance of having a lasting relationship, let alone one with somebody who likes or at least puts up with tickling.

A tickle buddy will satisfy your tickle needs without the complication of an entire relationship. No dancing and romancing required. The catch, of course, is you get turned on but don't top off the tickling with sex.

Between the ups and downs of both scenarios, I think the latter works better.

Is it better to actively seek a partner on the TMF or get a regular girlfriend/boyfriend and try to get them into tickling?

If you look for a vanilla partner, you've got a much larger selection that's readily available in your neighborhood. But the Lifer vs. Convert thread made me wonder if a convert could ever truly enjoy it as much as those with the kink hardwired into our brains.

Thoughts?

I would weigh in on this much more heavily, but having been through the mop wringer i am much more interested next in trying with someone hard-wired.... even platonically. And no, IMO, a convert can NEVER, EVER enjoy it as much as we hardwired's do. It all comes down to desire, and what your innermost private thoughts are. Kinky thoughts are not present with converts, unless they are trying to please their partner. They derive little joy out of it unless for that purpose.

 

[Mephistopheles]

Main reason we're here is the fetish bit. That's the one thing we all have in common. But you can't have a relationship based on just that. So you're fishing for somebody who really matches with you in a relatively small pool. Which decreases the chance of finding a suitable partner with whom you can stand the test of time.

Then again, you're linked in an important part of our sexuality, but I do not think that's enough.


But it's no option for me anyway, I'm too fucking far away from anything.

 

[rhiannon]

If you're a guy, it's certainly easier to find a vanilla partner and try to get them into tickling. If you're a girl, place your personal ad in the TMF Personals Section and wait for the applications! 😀

On a more serious note, I agree with Mephistopheles. I haven't met a lot of people in the tickling community I could even imagine a relationship with. Tickling isn't everything and won't keep a relationship together.

 

[Em Es]

How many women pay guys for tickling pleasure?

Rhiannon, you say, "If you're a guy, it's certainly easier to find a vanilla partner and try to get them into tickling. If you're a girl, place your personal ad in the TMF Personals Section and wait for the applications!"

How right you are. Compare the women (dominatrices and other girls for hire) who get money from men for tickle play to the opposite. Women just hold the upper hand in that and all other aspects of the boy-girl department.

 

[rhiannon]

....and there is the reason why I LOVE being a girl. 😉

 

[Comfort Eagle]

Man up; go find IRL woman and make them love tickle fetish. Nothing better than introducing something new to a girl.

 

[Em Es]

And that's why

Rhiannon, that's why I encourage all young single men to stop trying so hard to meet girls. When you're just part of the stampeded chasing a skirt, you'll see that pair of legs walking towards the guy who was holding back, playing it cool.

The two T.M.F. girls I've tickled reached out to me. I did not make the first move.

 

[rhiannon]

Not neccessarily. We like to be courted if we like the guy - but just then! 🙂

 

[Em Es]

Love and tickling

Rhiannon, my experience in both platonic tickling arrangements and regular boy-girl dating does not differ. A woman won't be shy when she wants something from a man.

That does not contradict what you say about courting, though. My main point is just that there's little use in a man approaching a woman who has given him no openings.

I'm not saying it's a night and day difference. Women have pretty much consistently found me repulsive, but had I set my radar for the handful who liked me anyway, I'd have been better off in the long run.

 

[Raytheon]

From a mans point of view id say it depends on the lady and how open she is.
Bring a bird home from a night club and offer her bed ties she'll scream rape and run a mile. Bring a goth chick home and she'll have you hogtied before you get out the car lol.

Seriously tho, i think questions like this read to much into the fetish. My girlfriend has a fetish for frottage (google it). We are both in the same boat and we share and share alike. In the end its about being honest with yourself.

rock on 🙂

 

[Em Es]

Raytheon

I agree. Some women are more open than others. Not that girls approach me frequently, but I've had women be just as forward with me as men are with women. Then there were those who only went as far as to step within arm's reach and hope I'd strike up a conversation.

Men have to think like vampires. As you may know, a vampire won't stirke unless his prospective victim invites him in her home. Guys should not make a move with a woman unless she first gives him the green light. Sometimes that green light will be obvious, but then there will be the girls who only go as far as to come within a few feet of you.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

Best not to seek. Only hope. 😀

If I had to choose between one or the other, I'd be more apt to seek one within our fetish line. It'll make things easier.

 

[Rook's Media]

Best not to seek. Only hope. 😀

If I had to choose between one or the other, I'd be more apt to seek one within our fetish line. It'll make things easier.

Agreed 100%...

Ironically, I've always dated very, very "vanilla" women...amazing people, but just simply unable to understand the kink realm. Some were... but most weren't.

As I've grown older, I now know that it's extremely important to at least have someone that's open-minded, even if they don't technically embrace my specific kinks...

Long story short:

Meeting an awesome, available woman someday, with a good head on her shoulders, and into tickling....will be an
ABSOLUTE DREAM COME TRUE!

I'm a positive person...and I know it will happen!

😀

Cheers everyone,



Ryan @ Rook's Media

 

[meangry]

Compatibility in other places is infinitely more important than someone having a semi-fetish, in my opinion.

If she cares for you, she will try to indulge your fetish. That's what good partners do. And even if she doesn't, as long as you can both have a very fantastic sex life, what the hell does tying someone up and tickling their feet mean?

If it is here, then awesome. Saves one little secret. But they don't need to be from here to do any of that.