TMF Personals Successes?

[Frink]

Ok, I don't know if anyone has ever asked this question in the discussion forum, but I think the responses could be interesting.

To clarify and focus this discussion, however, I'd like to specify a few parameters:

First, let's define a "success" simply as: receiving a serious, interested reply from your target demographic, and corresponding with them at least briefly (e.g., at least one back-and-forth email exchange.).

Second, not to offend anyone, but since that (above) is how I'm defining a "success" here, it's a LOT more interesting to hear from males who have posted their respective ads and awaited responses. (Ladies, I'm sure you already know you don't have to do much at all to have several interested parties waiting at your inbox..lol.)

Third, let's only concern ourselves with the TMF Personals section. (not a chatroom, some other newspaper/websites' generic personals sections, Gatherings, a BDSM place, Moe's Tavern, or the Quik-e-Mart 😛 )

I think this should give us at least some indication of the current relative effectiveness of the TMF personals section (for males at least.)

Ok, now let's hear those success stories! 🙂

😎

 

[Neutron]

Actually

Actually I have two ladies in here who have agreed to let me tickle them. Hopefully we'll be able to pull at least one of them together soon.

I'm also hoping to get a shot at lite and QBWeaver.


Tron

 

[TickledToDeath]

The Personals section in and of itself has done absolutely NOTHING for me whatsoever.
I have met several in the TMFs chatroom and in my Hyenas Club and have met with them all in person several times and have become very good friends. I have met my true LOVE and future wife in the TMF chatroom. We met in October in person(September in the chat), and many many times since and are now and have been a couple for quite some time now and agian will be someday husband and wife.

As far as that is concerned, you cannot get more successful than that!

TTD

 

[Frink]

Thanks, Neutron & TTD....

Still, you'd think there's gotta be at least one guy out there who has gotten at least a single positive response to his TMF personals ad. Right? 😕

If not...in the immortal words of Bart Simpson: "Can't win. Don't try." 🙄 😛

😎

 

[Neutron]

Using A Personal

Is a copout. Go to the chatroom, be nice. Get email addresses. Why should the ladies here come to YOU when there's plenty of decent guys in here who will make the effort to at least ask nicely. At least with those mechanisms they have a decent chance of guaging the potential ler/lee. That's just my cut. Let me ask you this, when you went to a school dance did you take an ad out in the paper asking for dancers? Or did you go and ask a young lady in person. Do you ask for dates via newspapers?

The females especially here have it tough. Pervs abound like anywhere else on the net. If they want a strange guy to tickle them they can always go to a gathering where at least they'll be safe.
So why even pay attention to personals? To me personals amount to being a Casper. You want to drink my water, eat my food, breathe my air, without putting in any effort or giving back. Much like Casper the Friendly Ghost.

Again, Right now I wanna try to tickle some of the ladies here, but I don't have time to get to any gatherings in the near future.
So I approach them in chat, or email, or ask in a discussion thread.
So far the success rate has been good in THEORY. I have agreements but now it becomes a matter of juggling calanders with the three ladies (hopefully 5 soon) and setting up dates.

Even in chatrooms it's tough. Like anything you should at LEAST say a friendly hello prior to asking. Just like in any matter regarding the opposite sex. Sure I am blunt about asking, BUT I never just come out and say Oh Come on, you're ticklish, you're on a tickling website, therefore logic dictates you must let me tickle you. That doesn't cut it.

I'm hoping the ladies I've asked find me polite and a good time. Because I want it to be a good time for them.

A lot of words to say personals are a waste. But they are, ESPECIALLY if it's your only means of approaching these ladies.

A word of advice, Post in the Discussions, establish yourself as a member of the community and then ask. BUT ASK NICELY AND RESPECTFULLY. Even a part time outlaw like me has some success 🙂

Be Safe

Tron

 

[Frink]

Well there's one opinion. 🙂

Of course, no one here really chooses a search approach out of some overriding sense of honor or nobility. People tend to do what works best for them. I know for a fact that personals ads--although not here--have worked fine for some. If this thread filled with 10-20 guys saying that they met someone local thru the TMF personals. I think more guys (perhaps even you, Neutron) would be persuaded to at least try it, hence, the sole purpose of this thread.

I haven't posted one before, but I have checked the TMFs section more than a few times just to see what's there. Anyone who has done the same will probably recall seeing that, in general, only the ladies' posts have any replies next to them. Of course, in and of itself, that doesn't mean that no ladies have replied (e.g., via email) to any guys' posts. So I asked merely to gauge the effectiveness of this particular (TMF) personals section.

Further, note that personals offer an advantage that few other approaches do: the ability to pre-screen. Location is (usually) the big primary filter, but there could be (many) others. It may not be very efficient to approach random folks in a globally-accessible chatroom--every night--hoping to find someone in your hometown who shares your specific interests and is online at the same time you are. The hope is that while you check other avenues, should someone near you come a-lookin', they will see your ad and drop you a line. (No guarantees, just evidence of "life out there" lol)

Finally, I'm sure no one probably has to remind any guy to "make the first move" or try several different methods (e.g., in this case: chats, etc.) to reach women. That is and always has been clear for most men since puberty....lol. And if they need reminded to "be nice," then it's probably not genuine and it's just as well if ladies find that out up front--lest they later ruin it for the rest of us who don't need reminding.

😎

 

[red indian]

"Specify a few parameters"???!!

"Target demographic"?..."Current relative effectivness"?....Is someone extracting liquified human waste products?

 

[Frink]

"Target demographic"?..."Current relative effectivness"?....Is someone extracting liquified human waste products?

ROFL!

Sorry, guess I've been reading too many government documents lately. 😀
...I mean..er..uh..There was an incident. Mistakes were made 🙄 😛

 

[red indian]

apologies accepted

Please ensure that appropriate systems are activated to facilitate prevention of any possible repetition and/or duplication of any remotly comparable event in the forseeable future.

 

[shark]

Bovine defecation and recycling facilitator specialist=bullshitter.
Don't ask why I had to post this................

 

[dvnc]

Actually, Frink, I'm sorta interested in this, too. I moderate that section, and so far, I ain't seein' a lot that would indicate that such is worth my time.

I, for instance, didn't use that section to involve myself with a 'lee I met online. Of those of "us" that I know that have coupled, short or long term, none used that means. Folks meet at Gatherings, but more meet of their own accord, interestingly enough.

Then again, most that get involved long-term don't participate on AMT or this forum. Other trivia - Most of "us" that have coupled tend to be underground, thereafter.

If you were permanently involved with a partner into this, how much would you need to seek here? Some do, but we're a smaller number.

dvnc

 

[UnclStevel]

multioptipupiloptemy

 

[Frink]

Actually, Frink, I'm sorta interested in this, too. I moderate that section, and so far, I ain't seein' a lot that would indicate that such is worth my time.

I, for instance, didn't use that section to involve myself with a 'lee I met online. Of those of "us" that I know that have coupled, short or long term, none used that means. Folks meet at Gatherings, but more meet of their own accord, interestingly enough.

Then again, most that get involved long-term don't participate on AMT or this forum. Other trivia - Most of "us" that have coupled tend to be underground, thereafter.

If you were permanently involved with a partner into this, how much would you need to seek here? Some do, but we're a smaller number.

dvnc

Thanks for the input, dvnc! 😎 I have had some success thru other means, too. Like you, I am quite uninspired by what I see on the TMF personals. I started this thread after reading (there) someone's lament of how futile it all seemed. Evidently he had posted to that section many times in the past with no responses (email or otherwise) at all. Sad really. Still, I think it's more characteristic of TMF personals than others in general.

Your other question is a good one. It's also one I thought of asking/posting myself at one time. Personally, it takes a lot or me to want to couple--short term or long term--with a lady for tickling. I generally have to feel I could consider her a really close friend and respect her on many levels--not just tickling. Once I have that, however, I suspect my personal need/desire to be "visible" in the tk community will also diminish considerably.

😎

 

[dvnc]

Frink, y'do realize you plug my gatherings for me, don't ya? Where else d'you make friends with folks you KNOW share our interest?

I wish I'd your nature for slow caution, too. I've been ever the speedy lad for finding lovers. Finally took my time for once, and now wish I'd have thought t'be so wise before. Nothin' wrong with knowin' what you want, and what you'll do for it. You find what you seek when you do such.

'Course, it helps that you're here, already, and that you've gatherings aplenty when you want to meet folks into this, socially. Makes the rest much easier, I found. Wish I'd had this to go to, back 15 years ago. Wouldn't have wandered as wide, or chosen as I did.

In my case, it all come to good. I credit being socially involved with what I love, and with folks that understand. Made it easier to find the one.

She's out there for ya, after all.

Regarding Personals, their success depends on the people participating. The gay community in SF, for instance, has a high response for theirs, where small towns often don't even have them. It's quite relative to the group using them. Folks with success clearly aren't here to answer, which doesn't surprise me, as folks using them are often shy enough to avoid pipin' up, and, as mentioned before, will couple and step away. Still, it WOULD be nice to know that the effort's to some success.

 

[Frink]

Actually, dvnc you remind me of another question. (Not to stray too far off topic, mind you. 😛 )

I always got the impression that, in general, gathering attendees were "regulars" and/or arrived in couples and/or weren't local to the ones they attended. Beyond that, I got the impression that the gender balance was (at most) much as we see here. This is not a knock on gatherings at all, but given that, I--and perhaps others--never got the notion that they were much better grounds for (men, at least...lol) finding a tk partner than anything else. (Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong! 😀)

Still, given the response so far to this thread, I must say it at least couldn't be any worse than the TMF personals! lol

😎

 

[dvnc]

I've no problem strayin' in your thread. It IS your thread, after all. 😉

Gatherings are social events, not singles events. Personals are for singles seeking to couple.

Gatherings aren't about finding a partner. Folks attending them tend to partner more easily, but that's not the events, in my opinion. That's the fact that these individuals will meet many people socially, increasing the odds of finding someone appropriate until the actually do. There are a number of couples I know that weren't couples when I met 'em. There's a number of others that were, and still are, coupled.

Gatherings are about meeting folks that share this interest, finding out that they're folks, just like you, finding both genders represented, many nationalites and creeds, etc. It's a kinky social group, one that gets to play our favorite play. This appeals to a great deal of people. Ask the NEST group, with 100 attendees. My tiny little events are monthly, and every month there's attendance and play.

There are regulars. They started out green to it like everyone else. Many of the old "regulars" don't show anymore. The novelty wore off, or they found "the one" and settled, mostly. Some went briefly underground, which happens with this community. Keep in mind, brother, that I haven't done this my whole life. 6 years ago, I'd not heard of gatherings, 'cause they didn't exist for our interest.

On to the general questions...

Gender balance varies from a bit over 4:1 to 1:1 in my events, and the last NEST I attended was at near 4:1, too. I've yet to have a lack of tickling play at the high ratio, so no one complains.

Couples are more rare. More oft than not, one can guess that couples already get to play, and thus don't wish to "out" themselves for a group event. Not always true, thankfully. Those that have, however, gave me the confidence to seek a partner of my own. I figure I owe a bit of my fortune to them.

For my events, there's USED to be more folks remote showing, but since 9/11, there's less souls that wanna fly. Used to be that most events were scheduled based on whomever was visiting. Now, it's by my convenience alone, as there aren't visitors seeking such like before. There's still SOME brave souls, just not as many as was once true. Regardless, there's always been more locals than folks out-of-state.

It ain't better or worse than the personals. It's not the same animal. Most on the personals list never attend, t'be honest. Maybe this thread will change that a bit, and improve things for this subculture.

Given your thread, and the general antipathy you have towards the personals, I'm guessin' y'haven't had such success there. Might I suggest you go and MEET folks into this, get familiar with them, and try socializing, and see if it doesn't change things for you? It seems to change things for everyone else, so far. Southern Gathering is next month, NEST is the following month (May), and in by time, there'll be 2 more West Coast Gatherings (March and April).

Attend, brother. Meet some of us. Maybe you'll prove me wrong, too, and find what you seek, there. I'm happily proven wrong, in that case especially.

dvnc