Top 5 Musical Acts That Should Call It A Career

[Fangz]

I recently saw a vid clip of Gene Simmons spitting blood with his now Dom Deluise-like physique and really wish KISS would simply disband and stop wrecking their legacy. It made me think of other bands that should just pack it in so here are my top 5 and I'm opening it for all types of music.

1. KISS: When you're in a band that image and visuals are everything, being in your sixties and overweight looks terrible. Also having 2 clowns dress in Peter's and Ace's makeup is a crime. At least Eric Carr and Vinnie Vincent had their own costumes.

2. Van Halen: Formerly wild rockers who defined the 80s now look like the guys who do my taxes. Eddie's son shouldn't be in the band either. Were dreadful when I saw them last year.

3. The Rolling Stones: Hey they played great in the nineties when they were old and put on a great show but now they are just way too old.

4. Led Zeppelin: I'm talking about the reunion concert they had where Plant couldn't sing a lot of the songs because he couldn't hit the necessary high notes. Don't know if they're "back together" but hope not.

5.Ozzy Osbourne: Has lost not only his wild "Prince Of Darkness" persona but his ability to sing as well. The man who my parents were terrified of is now a mumbling, shaky wreck who needs his wife to tell him where he is and what day it is. Sad.

 

[Artoo]

U2.
Iron Maiden.
Anyone from a TV talent-seeking show.

Okay, I'm sure there are more, but that's all I've got for the moment. 😀

 

[TklDuo-Drew]

The Who -Roger and Pete need to retire this now-pathetic excuse for a band. They're both in their 60s!

Lynryd Skynyrd- guys, it's over. There's only one original member left, and everyone's heard "Freebird" to the point of parody.

Spinal Tap- They are touring this year.....without the wigs and costumes.....and playing acoustic versions of Spinal Tap songs. No. I'd rather see a Lenny and Squiggy reuinon. Also they're all in their 60s!

Mott the Hoople -they haven't play a show yet but they're scheduled for a reunion this November.....and lead singer Ian Hunter will have TURNED 70 YEARS OLD!!!!


Drew

 

[Sanhael]

Smashing Pumpkins... The former frontman + a music machine = a band?

Guns 'n Roses... See "Smashing Pumpkins." Adding a fog machine doesn't help, either.

Kid Rock... What do you get when you mix "white trash" with "rock-bottom gangsta rap..." ? You get "white trash and rock-bottom gangsta rap."

Foo Fighters... Your claim to fame is that your frontman held the very-non-front, least-difficult position in Nirvana (an example of grunge, which is dead). Nirvana is famous because of Kurt who, in addition to being dead, still makes better-sounding noises than you do.

Now, the crowning glory?

New Kids On the Block... You can't "Hang Tough" when your youngest member is now 36 and everybody's showing signs of male pattern baldness. The whole "untalented, but cute" thing only worked for him when he hadn't hit puberty yet; all of the girls who thought it was adorable, and bought the albums, are now in their 40's. I don't think it's going to stick.

 

[MrMacphisto]

Nine Inch Nails... Trent.. stop... just stop. The last good album you did was Downward Spiral, and not surprisingly, the title was prophetic.

Metallica *puts on flame suit*. The Black Album was the last one that was interesting, and now you're in the Hall of Fame. Good for you. After the whole Napster fiasco and St. Anger, it's time to stop before Lars finally snaps and goes on a pirate killing spree.

Rolling Stones. Okay, Mick. We know you have a lot of alimony to pay back, but instead of continuing to tour with outrageous ticket prices, why not just do what respectable rock relics do -- produce (not reproduce, you've got that covered). You don't have to screech, er, sing until your lungs literally give out.

Bon Jovi. Yes, we know you can still fill a stadium even if it's mostly with 80s burnouts sporting mullets and stretch marks. You've given us "Bad Medicine" for 25 years but we all know it's actually called Ipecac. Enough is enough.

Sting. The Police were great. Your solo career was actually better than a lot of people gave you credit.... until Sacred Love. Mixing samba beats with a little electronic cheesiness while selling out all that's left of your artistic credibility is Santana's job, not yours. You should stop before you end up making a rap album collaboration with Kid Rock.

 

[venray]

Rod Srewart.....(nuff said)

 

[Korastus]

Nickelback.
I don't care how much you want to be a rock star, Chad Kreuger. It's not. fucking. happening.

 

[Marquis De Sade]

Guns 'n Roses... See "Smashing Pumpkins." Adding a fog machine doesn't help, either.

THANK you!!

 

[Sandrock74]

Guns 'n Roses... See "Smashing Pumpkins." Adding a fog machine doesn't help, either.

Guns N' Roses? It's just Axl Rose nowadays...and at 14 years between albums, we won't hear from him again until 2022!

 

[Homer28]

Smashing Pumpkins... The former frontman + a music machine = a band?

Guns 'n Roses... See "Smashing Pumpkins." Adding a fog machine doesn't help, either.

New Kids On the Block... You can't "Hang Tough" when your youngest member is now 36 and everybody's showing signs of male pattern baldness. The whole "untalented, but cute" thing only worked for him when he hadn't hit puberty yet; all of the girls who thought it was adorable, and bought the albums, are now in their 40's. I don't think it's going to stick.

I never thought I would want to see the end of guns and roses but at this point I'd rather remember them as guns and roses, not this shit that's pretending to be guns and roses!

New Kids On the Block... I don't even know where to start with that one!!

 

[Homer28]

Guns N' Roses? It's just Axl Rose nowadays...and at 14 years between albums, we won't hear from him again until 2022!

According to Rolling Stone, Giffen has been handing money over to Axl sense pretty much the end of the last "real" guns and roses album. They were giving him millions of dollars to make the album and he just kept making excuses and wanting more. In my opinion Axl needed to give Giffen something or he may have had to give the money back due to breach of contract.

 

[Marquis De Sade]

I never thought I would want to see the end of guns and roses but at this point I'd rather remember them as guns and roses, not this shit that's pretending to be guns and roses!

If anything, they're the world's greatest GN'R cover band. 😀

 

[Sandrock74]

According to Rolling Stone, Giffen has been handing money over to Axl sense pretty much the end of the last "real" guns and roses album. They were giving him millions of dollars to make the album and he just kept making excuses and wanting more. In my opinion Axl needed to give Giffen something or he may have had to give the money back due to breach of contract.

Chinese Democracy was the most expensive album ever produced. It cost something like 13 million dollars, due to all the musicians who worked on it, colaborators, etc...over the course of 14 years. Geffen Records got so impatient that it was the studio who released the GNR Live album (1999) and their Greatest Hits (2004). That is fucked up!

 

[TklDuo-Drew]

Journey.....cause eventually Youtube is gonna run out of Steve Perry clones.



Drew