Top Ten Personal Favorite Insults From Hell

[Dave2112]

No big, deep story behind this one. This is just a list of my own personal favorite put-downs, insults and face-slams...

10) Mealy-mouthed Crotch Pheasant Family Guy

9) Jizz-farting Man Tunnel Bathroom stall; Pilot Truckstop, Topeka, Kansas

8) Flaming Moron Ren and Stimpy

7) Butt Nugget Middle School - 1979

6) End result of a back-seat grope-fest and a broken prophylactic Family Guy

5) Cum Sponge Dave2112

4) Testicle-shitting Rectal Wart South Park

3) Eat penguin shit, you Ass Spelunker South Park

2) Sperm-burping Gutter Slut Dave2112

1) Cock-juggling Thunder **** Blade: Trinity

 

[chode]

How about this one .............." You are the brown stain on the underwear of society."

 

[Newcastle Uni]

I must try to use the phrase 'sperm-burping gutter slut' more in everyday conversation!

One of my favourite put downs is

"You are about as funny as a hole in the head - an affliction with which you must be familiar, never ever having had a brain" Edmund Blackadder, TV character

 

[milagros317]

I am partial to the following (somewhat lengthy) insult:

"You are offspring of 7 generations of syphilitic prostitutes, each of whom was too drunk to recognize her own brother in the dark." 😛

 

[Newcastle Uni]

You are offspring of 7 generations of syphilitic prostitutes, each of whom was too drunk to recognize her own brother in the dark

Pure Genius!

 

[chode]

I like this one. "Your dumber than a car full of assholes."

 

[daddy]

Hmmm...I like: "Your a goo goobling dic wad"

As a comeback, my fav is: "suck the snotty end of my fuck stick"

peace out,
daddy

 

[Majestic]

Fav insult

Im kinda partial to "You were a total waste of sperm".

Majestic

 

[TMF Jeff]

my personal favorite when I'm provoked beyond endurance: "You cock-sucking, motherfucking piece of shit!"

Not that there's anything wrong with cock-suckers mind you 😉 I just like the rythm of it.

 

[chode]

I always liked this one, when erefering to a girl......" She is a light switch away from beautiful."

Or, "She is a 6 pack away from getting laid."

 

[Stevereeno]

He/She fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down, then got hit by the stupid bus.

 

[Mitchell]

I have a few of my own. There is one guy in particular who I know who can be so clueless sometimes, I just love to refer to him with a barrage of insults. (He's not a TMFer by the way, but rather, a person I know in real life)

My favorite thing to refer to this guy as is a mentally challenged putz. He can sometimes be so clueless, that this is a perfect name for him. I have also referred to this guy as "Rain Man", because his name is Ray, and his voice litterally sounds like Rain Man. If anyone saw the movie, they'll remember how Dustin Hoffman used to say "Yeah". When this guy says "Yeah", he sounds like the Rain Man character, and his name is Ray, so thus his name, Rain Man.

A friend of mine in college used to refer to people as a "fucknoid" when he got mad at them, and I picked up his saying. Unfortunately, so did my cousin, and he one time got in trouble at school for saying it, because he was around my friend and I so much, and he picked it up.


Other insults I will sometimes used to describe a clueless person or jerk is a jerk-off. Not in sexual terms, but I'll just refer to them as a jerk off.

Finally, as many know on here, Iam estranged from my father. In the early 90s, I had a friend who used to refer to him as a shithead. Not very original, but an insult none theless. On the rare occasion that I used to talk to my father, this friend would go ballistic, he would be like:" You talked to shithead? I dont believe it!"

These are some of my insults. They are directed at specific people who I cant stand, and not at any random person just for no reason. I dont go off on or insult anyone unless they've given me a reason, and the people I've listed on here have given me plenty of reason to do so.

Mitch

 

[Majestic]

He/She fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down, then got hit by the stupid bus.

OH MAN!!! I love that!!!!

Majestic

 

[General Zod]

Next time someone calls you a dick just say "without us dicks you cocksuckers would be out of business"

 

[TKpervert]

My favorite is "Dog Piss", reflexively uttered when a traffic light changes yellow two-tenths of a second too soon, or when I see freeway corridors tagged with gang graffiti.
I'm trying to learn to drag it out with a southern drawl...
"Daaawg Piiisss.....

Still some work to do there, but it's comin along.
Here in SoCal I have plenty of traffic lights and gang graffiti to practice on.

 

[natural tickler]

how about these:

you donkey-raping shit eater, or you shit-faced cockmaster- from South Park


my grandfather used to say this one, "You aint worth two dead flies, smashed

 

[giantfan121262]

If anyone ever calls you an asshole just tell him (her) "If it wasn't for us assholes, you shits wouldn't be here"

 

[Mephistopheles]

diseased ***** with heroin addiction

in dutch that would be "schurftige kuthoer met heroïneverslaving"

 

[lightninbug]

Right up my alley

My insults range from the time-honored abuse by "Willie the Shake":
"God Damn thee black ye Creame-faced Loon!!"
To just downhome back on the Ranch:
You couldn't count your own nuts & come up w/ the same answer twice!
I like the more verbal:
You Pea-brained,Piss-Poor Pucker-face Peckerwood-Pinheaded,Sorry-assed Superscillious.Slimeymouthed, Syphletic-Son-of-a-BITCH!!!

Ta Daaaaaaaaaaaa
BUG

For Women:
You Look like you Dress in the Dark.

 

[Doubold_T]

Put all the previous posts togrther, and that's kind of what tumbles out of my mouth when I'm upset. Not terribly classy (Especialy for Captain Scarlet), but hey! Just because I'm indestructable, doesn't mean I don't get upset!


Actually, nowadays, I don't get mad.....I GET EVEN!!!!!