Traumatic life changing events & their effects on a Tickling Fetish...

[CuteJill143]

As many of you may know, I was very active on the TMF posting and attending munches and gatherings for a long time and then abruptly stopped. This sort of belongs In general discussion but also in tickling discussion as well.

I might not have logged in for at least 10 months after I lost my brother in the end of last February. I'm not sure if its that I feel guilty that he's gone and that I can still live my life with things that I enjoy (like tickling) and he can't. Or do I feel guilty and shameful that hes watching over his sister having a fetish. Its a weird feeling. Those on TMF who I am closest to I still would call and chat but I haven't felt up to any munches or gatherings lately. I hope these emotions go away and I start enjoying the things I love again.

Its not just the TMF, I grew more distant from friends and from dating and meeting guys. I lost interest in other things that I normally liked to do.

Has anything traumatic in any of your lives temporarily caused you to change your mind or even forget that you have a tickling fetish?

 

[rhiannon]

I think that's normal. If you feel sad, usually sexuality dies down.

 

[milagros317]

I think it is part of the normal grieving process. After my father died I didn't feel like doing any tickling sessions and had little interest in other recreational and social activities. This lasted about two months, though, not ten months.

 

[Boyo27]

After i lost a close friend i had the same feelings of him looking down on me and seeing my fetish, and i became reclusive and anti-social in general for about 6 months. It was hard but with the friends around me to help me through and remind me to keep my chin up i was able to move on after about 8 months and begin really living my life again in the real way that i enjoyed it.
I'm very sorry for your loss, and if you ever want to talk about anything id be happy to chat

 

[kcantankerous]

As many of you may know, I was very active on the TMF posting and attending munches and gatherings for a long time and then abruptly stopped. This sort of belongs In general discussion but also in tickling discussion as well.

I might not have logged in for at least 10 months after I lost my brother in the end of last February. I'm not sure if its that I feel guilty that he's gone and that I can still live my life with things that I enjoy (like tickling) and he can't. Or do I feel guilty and shameful that hes watching over his sister having a fetish. Its a weird feeling. Those on TMF who I am closest to I still would call and chat but I haven't felt up to any munches or gatherings lately. I hope these emotions go away and I start enjoying the things I love again.

Its not just the TMF, I grew more distant from friends and from dating and meeting guys. I lost interest in other things that I normally liked to do.

Has anything traumatic in any of your lives temporarily caused you to change your mind or even forget that you have a tickling fetish?

Hello,

I think if a loved one looked down on from heaven, they would want to see you happy period. If the fetish makes you happy and your not hurting anyone I don't think they'd mind to much. After all, they are your loved ones.

Thanks,
K

 

[jhop220]

As many of you may know, I was very active on the TMF posting and attending munches and gatherings for a long time and then abruptly stopped. This sort of belongs In general discussion but also in tickling discussion as well.

I might not have logged in for at least 10 months after I lost my brother in the end of last February. I'm not sure if its that I feel guilty that he's gone and that I can still live my life with things that I enjoy (like tickling) and he can't. Or do I feel guilty and shameful that hes watching over his sister having a fetish. Its a weird feeling. Those on TMF who I am closest to I still would call and chat but I haven't felt up to any munches or gatherings lately. I hope these emotions go away and I start enjoying the things I love again.

Its not just the TMF, I grew more distant from friends and from dating and meeting guys. I lost interest in other things that I normally liked to do.

Has anything traumatic in any of your lives temporarily caused you to change your mind or even forget that you have a tickling fetish?

I think a lot have nailed it on the head already. You are going through the grieving process. When you lose a close loved one then it is only natural to grow distant towards others.

One thing I would ask you to consider...Would your brother want you to be distant and questioning yourself? Would he want you to give up a part of you that brings happiness?

Or

Would he want you to live your life? Would he want you to find happiness wherever it may be?

He still lives in your heart, and it is always tough to lose someone so close. However, I do believe that a loving brother would want his sister to be happy, and not live life questioning the things that produce the happiness.

A loving brother will always want nothing more then his sister's success and joy. I believe that 100%.

Trauma hits all of us in one way or another. When I first discovered my fetish; I felt alone and like I was wrong. When I discovered these forums, I found that I was wrong. I am not alone, and I have come to accept who I am and what I like. If it doesn't appeal to others then fine. I don't pretend to be anyone different. If people choose to call me names, or think less of me then that is their issue. I feel fine, and I will not allow others to dictate my happiness.

 

[Sharkiegirl]

My mom passed back in 2008, and for a while I certainly didn't want anything to do with anything sexual, period. The grieving process certainly doesn't leave much room for feeling tickle horny, but at the same time, once I got to the point where I realized I couldn't be sad forever, and started doin my thang again, I realized that screaming and thrashing and whimpering and crying are actually a really helpful emotional outlet EVEN IF it wasn't related specifically to thinking about my loss. I actually also think about the fact that my mom could be "looking down on me" but I think about it this way; Just as she wouldn't want me moping around forever after losing her, I don't think she would want me changing my life around just on the sneaking suspicion that she might POSSIBLY be watching me. This is what makes me happy, and I'm with someone who is into this fetish too, so refusing to do it or feeling guilty about it would really make things unpleasant for all parties involved.

Take care of yourself girly, I don't know your brother but I can guess that he would want you to do whatever it is that makes you content in your life.

 

[CuteJill143]

My mom passed back in 2008, and for a while I certainly didn't want anything to do with anything sexual, period. The grieving process certainly doesn't leave much room for feeling tickle horny, but at the same time, once I got to the point where I realized I couldn't be sad forever, and started doin my thang again, I realized that screaming and thrashing and whimpering and crying are actually a really helpful emotional outlet EVEN IF it wasn't related specifically to thinking about my loss. I actually also think about the fact that my mom could be "looking down on me" but I think about it this way; Just as she wouldn't want me moping around forever after losing her, I don't think she would want me changing my life around just on the sneaking suspicion that she might POSSIBLY be watching me. This is what makes me happy, and I'm with someone who is into this fetish too, so refusing to do it or feeling guilty about it would really make things unpleasant for all parties involved.

Take care of yourself girly, I don't know your brother but I can guess that he would want you to do whatever it is that makes you content in your life.

Everybody is right. I thought the fact of the departed loved ones wanting you to be happy did not apply to having a fetish but in a way it kind of does. I've known for a long time already that he only wants me to be happy but I felt guilty at first if it involved anything sexual. Its just that I come from a very conservative family that sent me to bible camp and Sunday school; which is why I always felt shameful and had an underlying guilt for having a fetish in the first place. He would be more concerned with me being safe than anything else. On a happier note I have still been in school working on my entrance into a competitve graduate program. He knew how much passion I have for the field I will be in. I am not depressed to the point of dropping College and I still manage to go out with my Vanilla friends. Thanks Everybody! 🙂

 

[Mitchell]

Jill, first let me say that I'm so sorry about you losing your brother. Please accept my heartfelt sympathies.

In answer to your question of if a traumatic life changing event can cause one to forget they have a tickling fetish. I think if it doesnt make one "forget" the fetish, the traumatic event can cause the person to put the fetish on the back burner.

I dont know how closely you've read my posts, but.. I was gone from the forum for the greater part of four months last summer, while staying with my mom, as she underwent cancer treatment in NJ. I logged in for short periods of time from the hotel we were staying in, but.. the TMF and the tickling fetish, was largely on the sidelines. Since I've been home from NJ, I've returned as a regular poster and member.

From reading your post, it sounds to me as if you just needed to take time away from certain things, and people, that interest you, to grieve and mourn. That is perfectly natural. Perhaps the fact that you are back posting now, indicates that you feel ready to return to the forum, at least gradually, and re introduce yourself to the fetish.

I hope and pray that you are beginning to heal. Good Luck , and welcome back to the forum.

Mitch

 

[c7_assassin]

It's already been said; if you're grieving or depressed, it can certainly make you less inclined to go out and play with others.

I have to say, your guilt isn't necessary. Wherever happens to us after we die, your brother is certainly at peace now. Shame on whomever messed with your head to make you feel guilty about an activity that could bring you some measure of relief when you're in trouble. Get out there and live your life; it's what anyone who really loves you would want.

 

[Phineas]

Instead of echoing what everyone else has said, which is spot-on, I'm going to offer an anecdote.

My cat had to be euthanized in March of last year. She was sixteen, and had been with me the entirety of my adult life. I was the one who had to make the call. I was present for the process. It was a horribly traumatic experience for me. Not entirely unlike losing a member of the family.

The day after it was over, I suddenly felt trapped in my apartment. She had died there. I had to get out.

I got in my car and drove south until I couldn't drive any further. I spent the rest of the week in Santa Barbara, playing my guitar on the beach and getting my head clear.

Grief does strange things to people. Who are any of us to say whether or not someone's reaction to a personal loss is appropriate? How you deal with your loss is a deeply personal thing, and sometimes it changes people permanently.

Do whatever you need to do. Feel however you need to feel. Life will fall into place.

Good luck.