1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup
of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be
almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by
getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet
seat just by using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and
bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Remember to use an egg timer.
5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent
you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the
snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then
you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer
and you will forget all about the toothache.
8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life
really are: In life, you only need two tools : WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not
move and does, use the duct tape.
9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know
them.
10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
?????????????????????????????????????????????????
Thought for the day: .. SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES.....
THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING...BUT THEY STILL
BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A
FLIGHT OF STAIRS.
of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be
almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by
getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet
seat just by using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and
bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Remember to use an egg timer.
5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent
you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the
snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then
you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer
and you will forget all about the toothache.
8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life
really are: In life, you only need two tools : WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not
move and does, use the duct tape.
9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know
them.
10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
?????????????????????????????????????????????????
Thought for the day: .. SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES.....
THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING...BUT THEY STILL
BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A
FLIGHT OF STAIRS.
this came from my childhood friend Polly~I damn near had to send her a P-CARD! 
