njjen3953
4th Level Orange Feather
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2001
- Messages
- 2,858
- Points
- 0
From: The Upstate New York Department Of
> Tourism
> >
> >
> > Upstate New York seems to be on everyone's
> vacation
> > wish list. This list of rules will be handed to
> > each person entering the state. (Note: Vehicles
> > from New Jersey, New York City and Connecticut
> will
> > receive two copies.)
> >
> >
> > 1. That slope shouldered farm boy you are
> > snickering at did more work before breakfast
> than
> > you will do all week at the gym.
> >
> > 2. It's called a "dirt road." No matter
> how
> > slowly you drive, you're going to get dust on
> your
> > BMW. I have a fourwheel drive because I need it.
> > Now drive or
> > get out of the way.
> >
> > 3. We all started hunting and fishing when
> > we were nine years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We
> got
> > over it.
> >
> > 4. Any references to "corn fed" when
> talking
> > about our women will get your butt kicked.....by
> > our women.
> >
> > 5. Pull your pants up, and turn your hat
> > around. You look like an idiot.
> >
> > 6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch
> of
> > mallards are making their final approach, we
> > will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it
> up
> > to your ear at the time!
> >
> > 7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on
> > the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Order a two
> > pound lobster and steamers. Or, you can order the
> > Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham
> and
> > turkey.
> >
> > 8. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a
> > glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.
>
> >
> > 9. You bring Coke into my house, it better
> > be brown, wet, and served over ice.
> >
> > 10. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar
> car.
> > We're real impressed. We have quarter-million
> > dollar skidders to pull logs out of the woods.
> >
> > 11. Let's get this straight. We have one
> > stoplight in town. We stop when it's red, and we
> > may even stop when it's yellow.
> >
> > 12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks
> > because they want to. So, you're a feminist.
> Isn't
> > that cute.
> >
> > 13. Yeah, we eat lobster, scallops, clams
> > and haddock too. If you really want sushi and
> > caviar, it's available at the bait shop.
> >
> > 14. They are pigs and they are cows.
> That's
> > what they smell like. Get used to it. Don't like
> > it? I-87 goes two ways.... get on the Southbound
> > Lane!
> >
> > 15. "Opening day" refers to the first days
> > of fishin' and deer season'. They are religious
> > holidays. You can get breakfast at the church.
> >
> > 16. So what if every person in every
> pickup
> > waves? It's called being friendly. Understand the
> > concept?
> >
> > 17. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit
> in
> > the water hazards. It spooks the fish.
> >
> > 18. Chowder is supposed to be white. Don't
> > even think of asking for red chowder until you
> are
> > somewhere safely south of White Plains.
> >
> >
> > Welcome to Up State New York.
> >
> > The Way Life Should Be.
> Tourism
> >
> >
> > Upstate New York seems to be on everyone's
> vacation
> > wish list. This list of rules will be handed to
> > each person entering the state. (Note: Vehicles
> > from New Jersey, New York City and Connecticut
> will
> > receive two copies.)
> >
> >
> > 1. That slope shouldered farm boy you are
> > snickering at did more work before breakfast
> than
> > you will do all week at the gym.
> >
> > 2. It's called a "dirt road." No matter
> how
> > slowly you drive, you're going to get dust on
> your
> > BMW. I have a fourwheel drive because I need it.
> > Now drive or
> > get out of the way.
> >
> > 3. We all started hunting and fishing when
> > we were nine years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We
> got
> > over it.
> >
> > 4. Any references to "corn fed" when
> talking
> > about our women will get your butt kicked.....by
> > our women.
> >
> > 5. Pull your pants up, and turn your hat
> > around. You look like an idiot.
> >
> > 6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch
> of
> > mallards are making their final approach, we
> > will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it
> up
> > to your ear at the time!
> >
> > 7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on
> > the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Order a two
> > pound lobster and steamers. Or, you can order the
> > Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham
> and
> > turkey.
> >
> > 8. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a
> > glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.
>
> >
> > 9. You bring Coke into my house, it better
> > be brown, wet, and served over ice.
> >
> > 10. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar
> car.
> > We're real impressed. We have quarter-million
> > dollar skidders to pull logs out of the woods.
> >
> > 11. Let's get this straight. We have one
> > stoplight in town. We stop when it's red, and we
> > may even stop when it's yellow.
> >
> > 12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks
> > because they want to. So, you're a feminist.
> Isn't
> > that cute.
> >
> > 13. Yeah, we eat lobster, scallops, clams
> > and haddock too. If you really want sushi and
> > caviar, it's available at the bait shop.
> >
> > 14. They are pigs and they are cows.
> That's
> > what they smell like. Get used to it. Don't like
> > it? I-87 goes two ways.... get on the Southbound
> > Lane!
> >
> > 15. "Opening day" refers to the first days
> > of fishin' and deer season'. They are religious
> > holidays. You can get breakfast at the church.
> >
> > 16. So what if every person in every
> pickup
> > waves? It's called being friendly. Understand the
> > concept?
> >
> > 17. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit
> in
> > the water hazards. It spooks the fish.
> >
> > 18. Chowder is supposed to be white. Don't
> > even think of asking for red chowder until you
> are
> > somewhere safely south of White Plains.
> >
> >
> > Welcome to Up State New York.
> >
> > The Way Life Should Be.
