So you feel that a tickle fetishist is under some kind of mandate to confess his fetish to any woman who interacts with him this way, even if it is just playful tickling.
No.
What I'm saying is that if it does in fact turn his crank, chances are she either knows, or will be able to figure it out. And if in fact that does happen, denying it is not in the fetishist's best interest because he's not fooling anyone.
If he gets a thrill from it, he's got to let her know?
No, but he should be prepared for the fact that she'll 'vibe' to that fact eventually and deal with the consequences. Those consequences may either be continued thrill-causing interactions or a cessation of contact, depending on how he acted towards her previously.
That seems like an unreasonable expectation to me. Let's say a guy who gets off on being tickled is playfully tickled by a female coworker as they gather at a bar after work. He plays it cool on the outside, but inside he's totally digging it, and eggs her on. She continues to tickle him silly as his other coworkers laugh at the antics. According to your mandate, he must confess to her his tickling fetish.
No, that's not what I said. And, in assuming that it is, you're making the same mistake that most people around here make; that those of us who advocate honesty and straightforwardness are insisting that no one ever touch anyone else without a Consent Form signed in triplicate and notarized by a reliable third party.
You don't have to present a Standard Disclaimer of Fetish Intent to anyone you intend to interact with. Tickling is flirtation. Women, men, teenagers, darn near everyone uses it as an excuse to touch cute members of the appropriate sex, and other women, men, and teenagers understand that. Chances are, if said member of the appropriate sex lets you tickle them, then they're comfortable with you touching them, and on some level considers such physical flirtation OK. If they didn't, they wouldn't.
The problem occurs when a fetishist deliberately tries to circumvent that person's ability to consent by lying or misrepresenting themselves. Not outright stating that you have a tickle fetish is not lying. Swearing up down and sideways that it's not sexual when it is, however,
is lying. Telling someone you're a door-to-door podiatrist is lying. Nearly all of the clever schemes that the idiots in this community cook up in order to get an excuse to touch someone are also lying.
In your scenario, there is no misrepresentation because the guy in the bar is simply going for it and letting the chips fall where they may. His engaging in tickling with his coworker is being done "on the level"; it's purely a "Hey, can I touch you? I can? Cool! You can touch me back!" interaction. I would assume, however, that if she reacted badly and told him to keep his hands to himself, he would comply, and regardless, the woman would probably figure "hey, we're in a bar, this guy's tickling me, context would indicate that he's flirting. Am I okay with this?". If she is, then all's well. If she's not, however, then he better keep his hands to himself. And that's fully her decision to make.
Here's the thing, though; a lot of these guys are thinking, "Well, I don't want her to say no, because that would keep me from getting what I want. So I'd better cook up some story about how I'm totally not trying to flirt with her while I've got my hands all over her. Or better yet, I'll make up some story about how I need to check her stockings for rips. That'll be perfect!". And at that point, he's lost the game. Unless she's a complete idiot, in which case you're taking advantage of stupid people (which is wrong), she'll know what you're up to and wonder why you're being so dodgy about it.
In all seriousness, I can't imagine anybody expecting the guy to humiliate himself with such a confession.
Your first mistake is assuming that such a confession
would be a humiliation. Then again, stating it up-front in a bar probably
would be, because it's too much, too soon. Kinda like how you can't simply walk up to her and say "Hey, wanna fuck?" even if that's all you want to do.
I just don't see the harm. It's HIS business what turns him on, not hers. As long as he keeps cool and doesn't presume any sexual intent on her part, he's golden as far as I'm concerned. She had fun tickling him. He enjoyed it royally. Everybody wins.
And there's nothing wrong with that. Even people who have tickling fetishes can engage in tickling on a non-sexual level, or even on a flirtatious and/or sexual level without it being the Shame of Generations. Just call a spade a spade, is all. Own your behavior. Present it as-is and let other people decide how to deal with it. I mean, seriously; you wouldn't get a date by asking her to come over and fix your telephone, would you?
Look, the fact is that most of the time the people who are trying to trick other people are doing it because they KNOW that those other people would put the kibosh on a sexual advance; complete strangers whom they haven't even said hello to, other guys' girlfriends who've friend-zoned them previously and would be squicked out by that kind of touch, members of your immediate family, that sort of thing. Not some girl in a bar who they're horsing around with who is kind of expecting to be touched in such a fashion.
I love it! Good job, man!
