What Does 'Past Your Limit' Mean To You?

[BellaRisa]

I've seen many, many posts that mention someone being driven 'past their limits' and loving every minute of it, or disliking it but loving how intense it was. This isn't right, in my mind. If you're enjoying something, or even if it's driving you crazy but you're fond of the memory afterward, then in my opinion your limit wasn't crossed.

Am I the only one who thinks this way? 😕

Bella

 

[Januarygirl_f/f]

You're not alone, Bella.
When the 'ler continues tickling after the use of a safeword, or isn't familliar enough with the 'lee to recognize when he/she has had enough, and it's no longer playful or enjoyable, that is "past the limit"

 

[Redmage]

There are limits and limits. There's the limit of what one can hold still for, the limit of what one would ask for, the limit of rational thought, the limit of what one can fully enjoy, the "love-hate" limit, and the limit of what one can survive. I think it's possible to enjoy being taken past any of those except the last two.

 

[minerva]

to me? ...

..well, guess it depends on what you call a limit.
If it’s something I’m curious about and would like to try, but not sure, if I’d actually like it, I’d say so and go ahead experiencing – this might be, what some people call being taken past their limit, I’d call it exploring 😱

To me ‚limit’ clearly means something I definitely KNOW I wouldn’t enjoy and definitely DON’T want to happen and if I made that clear before starting to play I wouldn’t want my partner to even try take me past it. Could get me a ‘bit’ upset and would have been the last time I played with this person

 

[milagros317]

To me, past my limit means that I am genuinely panicked because I can't breathe or I am now in pain rather than feeling a tickling sensation. Neither is enjoyable.

 

[taptoematt]

Passing out ? Tickled into a coma ? I guess that would be termed as " past your limits ", but I could be wrong.

 

[lk70]

Someone tickles me past my limit they're likely to get vomited on. I'm so charming I know.

I think maybe saying they were tickled past their limit is just adding artistic license to the story.

 

[SilverHealer84]

You're not alone, Bella.
When the 'ler continues tickling after the use of a safeword, or isn't familliar enough with the 'lee to recognize when he/she has had enough, and it's no longer playful or enjoyable, that is "past the limit"

I agree completely.

I know I've gone past my limit if I start panicking or feeling frightened, unable to breathe, or I'm about to vomit. I know I'm getting close to that limit when I'm into truly uncontrollable laughter and violently intense sensations Totally not enjoyable whatsoever for me.

 

[resptimes]

Someone tickles me past my limit they're likely to get vomited on. I'm so charming I know.

You know...You could vomit the other way, so no one gets vomitted on....

 

[lk70]

Someone tickles me past my limit they're likely to get vomited on. I'm so charming I know.

You know...You could vomit the other way, so no one gets vomitted on....

I could, but that would prevent the 'ler from learning a lesson now wouldn't it?

 

[resptimes]

I could, but that would prevent the 'ler from learning a lesson now wouldn't it? [/QUOTE]


I guess there might be some truth to that statement...I stand corrected.....

 

[Oddjob0226]

I've seen many, many posts that mention someone being driven 'past their limits' and loving every minute of it, or disliking it but loving how intense it was. This isn't right, in my mind. If you're enjoying something, or even if it's driving you crazy but you're fond of the memory afterward, then in my opinion your limit wasn't crossed.

Am I the only one who thinks this way? 😕

Bella

I see your point. Have pondered it myself. Generally agree with it, but even then don't have a clear cut answer within my own mind about the philosophical question.

My very first time as a 'lee, I was tied down and worked on by two women, one I didn't know. Both were dom, neither into tickling, so they really loved overpowering me via my weakness & had no problem using a torment of my own choosing to do so. And back then (late 80s) safe words weren't used as they are today, at least with the P.E.P. gang I ran in; the words were employed when a person was on the verge taken physically too far (fainting, intense sobbing, physically sick, etc.) or there was a medical issue, not when someone just "can't stand" anymore..... At that time the thinking was: the dom you trusted to play with, hand your power over to, would presumably have been knowledgeable enough to know when the sub needed a break, or to stop completely, even when it was an err on the side of caution.

So that’s the atmosphere I entered as a first time ‘lee. And it was intense. There came a time where I screamed, utterly unconsciously - “mercy” - and I meant it. It got extreme and scary and I always wondered -- what if they didn’t stop, the doms continuing to savor the bully-like sadism they were indulging? After all, non-ticklers see it differently than us….. it’s not whipping or needles, it’s ‘only’ tickling, right? At that moment, it wasn’t fun, and became the closeset thing to an actual torture session (that started out consentingly) that I can imagine.

Yet, once it all passed and was done, it was an incredible feeling to go through that which scared me. And to have taken that first step, period. And that strange, unexplainable calm after the body being vigorously - yet not quite violently, not painfully, assaulted; that is a high I have been chasing ever since. Like you say, “disliking it but loving how intense it was“. And to one day have a ‘lee under my own hands whom understands that, so that I too can ‘pour it on’ with little restraint as she gets that there’s a different, higher, mental level of payoff in intense play.

So that’s that. No real answer to your question, but perhaps another take on it. That time - and a very few since - was a time/scene/experience where my consent took backseat to the desires of the tops to push further in their own self interest. Panic set in and fearful enjoyment turned into fear, period. And while I didn’t like it in that moment even in a masochistic sense, it was an amazingly powerful experience and can’t say that any real limit was surpassed based on your construct. Or, if one was, I was fine with it in the bigger scheme of things. And apparently as a result my “limit”, whatever that means, changed, expanded.

I do NOT recommend it for everyone. But then, we don’t all play the same.

 

[P[a]pi]

Every time I tie and tickle Meka I consider myself tickling her past her limit because I tickle her until she doesn't like it anymore and wants it to stop.

And I don't stop tickling her at the exact second that she wants it to stop. I like to go over some and how much I go over varies.

Whether you pass the limit a little or a lot, either way it's past the limit.

A little to me is whimpering, begging, frustration or anger.

A lot to me is puking or blacking out.

I'm talking as Meka's ler. I'm not talking about myself as a lee.

 

[LindyHopper]

I agree with the idea that each of us has several different limits. I enjoy being taken past the limit of what I can stand, even if we'd prefer to say that my "real" limit is somewhere further on down the line.

If you're enjoying something, or even if it's driving you crazy but you're fond of the memory afterward, then in my opinion your limit wasn't crossed.

Isn't is also possible that your limit was crossed, but was moved after that experience?

BTW Oddjob: fantastic post! You really helped us get inside your head, to understand this question in a complex way.

 

[The Sean Man]

If I'm tickled to the point where I can't breathe, it ceases to be fun.

 

[huskys]

I think it depends upon what people think of the word 'limit'.
For some it means anything beyond their comfort zone, but not necessarily too bad, hence the fond memories afterwards.
For others it means the point at which it becomes real agonising and dangerous torture, which is obviously not pleasant or enjoyable, even later on in memory.
You also make a very good point LindyHopper, that limits, once discovered, can also change from the experience.

 

[BellaRisa]

limits, once discovered, can also change from the experience.

See, this is what I've heard folks say that caused me to ponder the subject. In my mind, if it's capable of changing, then it wasn't your true limit. That's where you thought it was, but 'limit' to me is, well, the limit for you; I guess I'm thinking it's not fluid or adjustable, but pretty final-it's as far as you personally can ever go comfortably, not just where you can go at this point. Does that make sense?

Bella

 

[Redmage]

See, this is what I've heard folks say that caused me to ponder the subject. In my mind, if it's capable of changing, then it wasn't your true limit. That's where you thought it was, but 'limit' to me is, well, the limit for you; I guess I'm thinking it's not fluid or adjustable, but pretty final-it's as far as you personally can ever go comfortably, not just where you can go at this point. Does that make sense?

If you define it that way, then it has to make sense. However I've found that limits are both multiple and changeable. And even a limit that survives through one experience (thus proving "true" for that time) may change later or for a different partner.

 

[tickledgirl]

See, this is what I've heard folks say that caused me to ponder the subject. In my mind, if it's capable of changing, then it wasn't your true limit. That's where you thought it was, but 'limit' to me is, well, the limit for you; I guess I'm thinking it's not fluid or adjustable, but pretty final-it's as far as you personally can ever go comfortably, not just where you can go at this point. Does that make sense?

Bella

Well, "Can I survive this" has to be the hardest limit, right? And that could certainly change based on the lee's health. (e.g. As an 18-year-old obscenely healthy cross-country runner, I've no doubt I could physically take more than I could today as a 40-year-old asthmatic.) Since at least part of the fear comes from facing real physical limitations, doesn't it make sense that other limits change too?

On the other hand, even overwhelming fear can be dealt with by being forced to face it. A personal, non-tickling example: I'm afraid of high bridges. That used to be a paralyzing fear. I'd choose routes (driving or walking) to avoid them. Definitely a limit for me. But a while back, my husband got a job offer in Marin County. They brought us out to look around. We flew into San Francisco late at night. My husband drove the rental car, and I dozed off...and woke up about 100 feet before we drove across the Golden Gate Bridge. 😱 We both survived (though once we got across it was dicey for him for a little bit. 🙂 )

Since then, I still don't care for bridges, but crossing the much smaller ones around here is no big deal. My limit definitely moved.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

For me personally, there are a variety of factors that can effect what my limit would be at a given moment. Mood, trust, physical comfort, fatigue, etc. will all play into things. I don't think that I could ever say that there's a straight physical limit and have that carry over from one session to another. There are simply too many other things that factor into it.

Yet another reason why I prefer to use a safeword...unless the ler is someone I know pays enough attention and knows me well enough to not need one, which I've frankly found to be a rare find.

 

[SteelJaw]

Hmmm u pose an interesting question. Personally I think it should always be fun. (Exg) I recently talk eo someone online about tickling and she told me her BF was super hyper ticklish. now it at first started with simply dicussing techniques, buuuuuut, then she started getting ideas to trick her BF into gettin bound and tickled. thought she was kidding at first but soon became obvious that she wasnt. Thats what I call a limit. To allow someone to tie u up takes a tremandus amount of trust. not something easliy formed. and if u say stop (For real) or use the safe word and they dont stop then u have violated that trust. So now what chance do you think u have of ever tickling that person ever again? Personally I know a few ladies here that id probably let tie me down and tickle me, probably without thinking XD but if they went to far, well wouldnt happen again thats for sure. My POV, make it fun, tickle and tease your Lee, as much as they want (yes they, not u, they) but when the say enough, respect that 🙂

 

[girlboundforfun]

Limits

For me, limits are a funny thing. I have such a love-hate thing with tickling. Once it starts, I reach my limit so quickly. Too quickly, really. I will beg for mercy in almost no time. I hate it at the time and try to get out of it. I promise anything to make it stop and cry, scream and beg. Then later, I crave it again. For me, it is the torture I seek. Perhaps driven to the edge of pain? I don't know, still haven't figured it out. Am I alone in this?

 

[huskys]

For me, limits are a funny thing. I have such a love-hate thing with tickling. Once it starts, I reach my limit so quickly. Too quickly, really. I will beg for mercy in almost no time. I hate it at the time and try to get out of it. I promise anything to make it stop and cry, scream and beg. Then later, I crave it again. For me, it is the torture I seek. Perhaps driven to the edge of pain? I don't know, still haven't figured it out. Am I alone in this?

No, you are not alone.
I have been a ler for a long time, but have only recently become a lee as well.
The reason being because I am absolutely, insanely ticklish, and didn't think I could stand it.
I understand the love/hate thing you are talking about, because now I want to be pushed to my limit, (which probably wouldn't take to long) lol, and then taken beyond to the same place you are talking about.
So if you think you are crazy or something then I probably am too!!! lol 😱 😀

 

[TickledToDeath]

Limits are different to each individual however there are two sides to said limits.
Physical and psychological .
The physical, the lee has no control over. Being out of breath or if something happens where the lee is "hurting" literally be it from struggling too much that he/she is physically hurt and needs the tickling to stop to fix the problem. OR as mentioned earlier in this thread, the lee has physical issues that requires tickling to stop yet psychologically he/she CAN continue being tickled.
Ones limits is measured by the psychological aspect of it.
If one is tickled to the point where she/he psychologically cannot take any more and seriously wants the tickling to stop and be freed and uses the safe word that means that she/he wants to be freed ....therein lies the limits and if agreed upon prior to the tickling, that he/she wants to be tickled beyond the use of that safe word, that is being tickled past ones limits.
If there is a problem physically during the tickling whereas the lee NEEDS the tickling to stop briefly so that the physical issue can be corrected, a separate "safe word" should be in place just for THAT reason.

There is a matter of trust on both sides. The trust that the lee will not use the psychological safe word unless she/he truly means it and the trust in the ler to know how far to go beyond that and when to truly stop whether it be briefly or entirely.
The lee should really only have the control of the situation on the physical aspect not the psychological for the psychological is a major part of the intense tickling level of play and to be taken beyond those limits can be just as intense and somewhat welcome to know just what that experience feels like.
Personally I have not been taken past my psychological limits and honestly don't know if I have those limits. I don't think I do but would love to find out if I do and be taken past them if they do indeed exist.

Hope I made my point clearly.


TTD

 

[giggle-maker]

If there is a problem physically during the tickling whereas the lee NEEDS the tickling to stop briefly so that the physical issue can be corrected, a separate "safe word" should be in place just for THAT reason.TTD

My wife isn't ticklish at all, so it works out that she's always the ler and I'm always the lee. One time, I thrashed about in a particular way as to sprain my shoulder and it was injured for three weeks. A definate bummer, as you can imagine. We solved this by studying imobilizing bondage techniques. The one thats the most effective is duct tapeing my arms to the head board. (arm hair being arm hair and trial and error being trial and error, we learned how to use serran wrap the SECOND time around 😡 MALE LEE READERS PLEASE LEARN FROM MY MISTAKE HERE!!) Anyhoo, it really helps when you have a tendency for excessive squirming. Staying on topic, this has been benficial in moving my limits WAY past what I "thought" they were.

TickledToDeath also makes another good point that trusting your ler is of major importance in having your psycological limits expanded. If you truly trust your ler then you can agree to remove the safe word durring a certain session, but this has to be the initiative and desire of the lee IMHO.