What I'm Sick Of

[xionking]

You know what I'm sick of? I'm sick of being fucking nice to people.

I made plans to go to a friend's house tonight, so I went round there about half an hour ago, and no one was there. I tried calling the person, and the people who were there also and no one picked up.

I'm sick of being nice to people because at the end of the day, I end up feeling hurt, betrayed, and all it is doing is battering away at my confidence, what's left of it anyway.

I had a girlfriend I thought I would build a life with and she left me.

It's easier to stroop to the levels of others, and I'm fed up with trying to be the person above all that.

So, fuck it.

In this dog eat dog world, this trooper has been eaten alive.

-Xionking



-Xionking

 

[ViperGTS]

First of all, I totally understand. People suck sometimes. For every nice person out there, there's an asshole who looks to destroy other's happiness.

However, at the same, don't just say "fuck it" about being a good person. If you get angry about people being assholes, then you decide to become one yourself out of anger or desperation, you're no better than the people who piss you off.

Here's hoping you change your mind and feel better after you cool off. 🙂

Besides, after everyone else is done being idiots, and you've stood above it, the idiots will be jealous and the other righteous will be proud.

 

[xionking]

It's just been one of those days...weeks even.

I appreciate the kind words, ViperGTS.

-Xionking

 

[Mitchell]

xionking, I'm sorry to hear about what your "Friend" did. That was very rude of them.

I understand your anger, and your feelings of not wanting to be nice. At the same time, it seems sad for you to change that you want to be a good person, because other people arent being kind.

This isnt commonly known around the forum, but I'm going to post it to put it into perspective. About twenty one months ago, in December, 2006, my father, who I've tried harder to love, and please, more than anyone on the face of this earth, sent me an email dumping me, because I refuse to talk to his wife, due to the fact that she's a vicious troublemaker, who has caused hell in my relationship with him.. The hurt I feel with him doing that, is beyond anything anyone can ever imagine. I walk around feeling like I've been shot through the heart, with an arrow, every fucking day. That having been said, I also know that I cannot base a relationship with a father, or have his love for me, conditioned on whether or not I talk to his wife. After all, I havent told him "Gee, Dad, I'm not ever going to see you, or talk to you again, unless you divorce this bitch who is causing hell in our relationship, and return to my mother". Thus, I deal with the extreme pain of the estrangement, and realize that its not me who caused it, and that it really is my dad's problem. I have good relationships with my mom, and her family, so it isnt like I cant be in successful relationships. I just have to keep being who I am, and, if others cant treat me right, thats their problem.

I'm sorry to go off about myself, but I have a point here. I understand that you've been terribly hurt by your girlfriend, and your friends. If you know you have been a good person, and have done right by them, you shouldnt change who you are. I also wouldnt advise you to start acting mean, because people have hurt you. My best advice would be, to proceed with caution, and seek out those who you can be friendly and kind with. There are people out there who you can do this with. You just havent found those who are worthy of your kindness yet. It sounds like a cliche, but it really is true.

I hope what I said helped. You seem like a good guy with a lot to offer people, and I'm confident you will find friends, and a romantic interest, who will be more than happy to accept your kindness, and who will treat you well.

Best of luck to you,
Mitch

 

[ViperGTS]

It's just been one of those days...weeks even.

-Xionking

No I hear ya man. Life can stink sometimes. Just don't lose sight of your own morals and standards.

 

[xionking]

xionking, I'm sorry to hear about what your "Friend" did. That was very rude of them.

I understand your anger, and your feelings of not wanting to be nice. At the same time, it seems sad for you to change that you want to be a good person, because other people arent being kind.

This isnt commonly known around the forum, but I'm going to post it to put it into perspective. About twenty one months ago, in December, 2006, my father, who I've tried harder to love, and please, more than anyone on the face of this earth, sent me an email dumping me, because I refuse to talk to his wife, due to the fact that she's a vicious troublemaker, who has caused hell in my relationship with him.. The hurt I feel with him doing that, is beyond anything anyone can ever imagine. I walk around feeling like I've been shot through the heart, with an arrow, every fucking day. That having been said, I also know that I cannot base a relationship with a father, or have his love for me, conditioned on whether or not I talk to his wife. After all, I havent told him "Gee, Dad, I'm not ever going to see you, or talk to you again, unless you divorce this bitch who is causing hell in our relationship, and return to my mother". Thus, I deal with the extreme pain of the estrangement, and realize that its not me who caused it, and that it really is my dad's problem. I have good relationships with my mom, and her family, so it isnt like I cant be in successful relationships. I just have to keep being who I am, and, if others cant treat me right, thats their problem.

I'm sorry to go off about myself, but I have a point here. I understand that you've been terribly hurt by your girlfriend, and your friends. If you know you have been a good person, and have done right by them, you shouldnt change who you are. I also wouldnt advise you to start acting mean, because people have hurt you. My best advice would be, to proceed with caution, and seek out those who you can be friendly and kind with. There are people out there who you can do this with. You just havent found those who are worthy of your kindness yet. It sounds like a cliche, but it really is true.

I hope what I said helped. You seem like a good guy with a lot to offer people, and I'm confident you will find friends, and a romantic interest, who will be more than happy to accept your kindness, and who will treat you well.

Best of luck to you,
Mitch

That's tough, Mitch. I really appreciate your kind words. I'm definately just having one of those weeks.

I feel confident I'll get through this. You're story speaks as somewhat of an inspiration for me. Cheers.

-Xionking

 

[Headsnap]

It's easier to stroop to the levels of others, and I'm fed up with trying to be the person above all that.

That's true, but the problem is you can't change who you are either. If you're the sort of person who is at this level without needing to stoop then you'll always be what you've always been; likewise if you're a decent bloke there's no point trying to pretend that you can turn on a dime and become Big Bad Charlie Frownface overnight. You seem like a decent sort, and so once you've gotten over all the shit that has recently deposited itself upon your loaf you'll likely find you return to being the same old you that you always were.

Take it from me; being a decent human being is difficult and often tiresome, but it's far better to be a decent human being in the long run. Being a prick to everyone just for the sake of getting your anger out feels good at the time, but it's not constructive in any way and once you're all raged out you'll find you've made no progress in hauling yourself out of your rut and everyone around you who could possibly have supported you has fucked off. Also, there's a difference between being a decent person and being a spineless fop; you don't have to be a doormat to be a decent person 😀

 

[xionking]

Lol, it sure sucks trying to be a superhero. 😛

 

[Headsnap]

Lol, it sure sucks trying to be a superhero. 😛

Try being a supervillain. That's harder still, and you get arrested a lot more 🙁

 

[xionking]

Try being a supervillain. That's harder still, and you get arrested a lot more 🙁

That's a very valid point, Headsnap. Plus, superheroes get the chicks. And you know...that's all I'm in it for 🙄.

 

[Bugman]

What my bros Viper,Mitchell and Headsnap said.I've been through some rough sledding myself with some people lately and it blows,but it passes.You seem like too decent a guy to let the losers get you down for long my friend.Hope you're feeling better about things soon.🙂

 

[DimpleToes]

I know what it is like to be stepped one and used as a door matt.. yes even in here at TMF.. I try to be kind to everyone and that gets me in trouble alot for ppl tend to take advantage of that. I wont say who has wronged me in here for that wont help matters. THe advise I give you is to be yourself for you are the one who has to look at yourself in the mirror every morning and love yourself.Those who are jerks, that is on them. DOnt go to there level.

HUGSSSS/Lisa

 

[Mitchell]

Xion, I'm glad to hear that my support was of help. I can understand that you are having a rough time now. I'm a believer that sharing a painful experience with friends, can be of help. Hopefully by you sharing your experience with the forum, our support can aid you with getting through the difficult time you're experiencing now. If I can be of any help, and you just want to vent, or even rant, pm me anytime.

Take care, bud.

Mitch

 

[Adam]

I've been there, Xion. It sucks when "friends" treat you with disrespect and I'm sorry you've been having such a hard time lately. I can relate. When I was about 24, I was invited to a summer cookout by my then-girlfriend. This was located on the outskirts of Washington, DC, where the people hosting the party lived. Not a real short drive from where I live.

So I get there after a lengthy drive, only to find no one at the house. Didn't feel the need to have a cell phone back then, so after waiting a short while I hopped back in the car and left. Turns out that all 4 people who were there ahead of me decided to take a trip to the grocery store to get more supplies. I could not wrap my head around that one since they knew I was coming and damn well wouldn't be able to let myself in with nobody home. You'd figure at least one would stay behind. So yeah, I was pissed.

Hoping things look up for you, man.

 

[chicago]

Someone blew you off and your girlfriend left you?

That's it and you're ready to become a miserable old man?


Shits' weak man.

You're 22. This is the stuff that happens at our age.

We should be over the whole adolescent "fuck the world" thing by now.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

First of all, I totally understand. People suck sometimes. For every nice person out there, there's an asshole who looks to destroy other's happiness.

However, at the same, don't just say "fuck it" about being a good person. If you get angry about people being assholes, then you decide to become one yourself out of anger or desperation, you're no better than the people who piss you off.

Here's hoping you change your mind and feel better after you cool off. 🙂

Besides, after everyone else is done being idiots, and you've stood above it, the idiots will be jealous and the other righteous will be proud.

I couldn't agree with you more Viper. Although on a different topic, it seems like you're never going to ask me to be your tickle model even though you said you would. It's okay, whatever 🙄.

 

[xionking]

Someone blew you off and your girlfriend left you?

That's it and you're ready to become a miserable old man?


Shits' weak man.

You're 22. This is the stuff that happens at our age.

We should be over the whole adolescent "fuck the world" thing by now.

People deal with things their own way, man. I'm strong in some ways, and weak in others. And you know what? I never had a real relationship when i was an adolescent, so what do I have to compare it to?

Oh yeah, plus having clincal depression doesn't help.

-Xionking

PS. Mitch, yeah cheers for the kind words once again. I feel much better about things today.

 

[chicago]

People deal with things their own way, man. I'm strong in some ways, and weak in others. And you know what? I never had a real relationship when i was an adolescent, so what do I have to compare it to?

Oh yeah, plus having clincal depression doesn't help.

-Xionking

PS. Mitch, yeah cheers for the kind words once again. I feel much better about things today.

Well, I understand your feelings, but I still don't think it's reason to give up on being a good/nice person.

It's hard to tell if I've ever had a real relationship as an adolescent either because, well, I was a kid, so how serious could it have been?

Depression is the world's number one mental disorder. I'm sure I have been, could be, and/or will be diagnosed with such at some time in my life as well as millions of other people on Earth. Doesn't mean it should be an excuse to let a little pain turn me into a jerk. (Not trying to call you a jerk.)

Most likely, with some time, you will get over it all and go back to normal. And it's also likely that with some time, you will meet people that fuck you over again.

It's also likely you'll meet some that won't.

 

[xionking]

Appreciate the kind words, Annie.

I can't stop being a nice person. I won't stop being a nice person. I'm just sick of being let down.

At some point, I think we've all had depression, whether it be briefly or for longer.

I was once told by a close employer of mine.

"Henry, when it rains it pours."

It fucking bucketed down this week.

-Xionking

 

[Mitchell]

xion, I'm glad that you are feeling better, and that my words helped.

Take it easy.

Mitch